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Invisiblechameleon303
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Registered: 10/06/09
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moving back in with your folks
    #23405807 - 07/03/16 12:22 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

ive just written a letter to my mother but not sent yet, its asking for help with rent for a place id like to move into but yet to view, and i need to check i can move and keep my benefits as i cant stay here any longer for my health

i dont think i could move back in with her and her husband fora  number of reasons but wondering if any of you have done so or aked for help with rent liek i plan to? how was it did you put off asking for a long time.  i nearly asked to move back in before she sold the house i grew up in adn then was was out of the country

there's a lot of embarresment with this for me being 30 and asking this must be hard i thing for any child im sure, and not sure if i should send this mail or try harder to deal with what im putting up with here and some how find a better place on my own...if living here much longer doesn't kill me

to explain a little, i've always had a problem dealing with things, planning, and asking for any help or advice from enayone trying to do a lot on my own, i lost my father at a very young age things were dificult to say the lesat and ive developed some very bad patterns adn living conditions being alone here that have been too hard to shake so im here fighting some fucked up battle and want to be at peace for a change


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303] * 1
    #23405944 - 07/03/16 01:49 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

We got a slight case of alphabet soup going on here...


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Invisiblerackem
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Registered: 11/27/09
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303]
    #23405951 - 07/03/16 01:58 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

im assuming you arent sober.. wait, reread things and make this choice clear headed man.


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303]
    #23406181 - 07/03/16 06:55 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Once you're out, you're out.
Will you sink or swim?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (07/03/16 03:55 AM) to (No end specified)
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll



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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303] * 1
    #23406308 - 07/03/16 08:20 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Moving back in with parents is extremely common in this economy/generation.

If it's an option, be grateful.

Familial living is the norm in many cultures and has numerous financial and practical advantages .

My wife and I live with my Mother in Law, and we love it. In this case we had to move in because she couldn't afford her house taxes and was about to lose the house , so we stepped in and saved it , but it also worked out massively to our advantage.

It is a win win. More people to split costs and buy groceries etc. We have lots of space so it's not too crowded, and we get along .

All depends but no need to be ashamed of it.


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InvisibleBigfeely123
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23406327 - 07/03/16 08:29 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

dont ask your parents for help... they've already helped you enough by raising you. live in your car for a while. dont do that to your parents. they won't be able to walk around the house naked anymore, have wild sex, and so on. do you really think they want you around at 30? not trying to be harsh just telling the truth


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Invisiblechameleon303
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: Bigfeely123]
    #23406968 - 07/03/16 12:27 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

some note worthy replies many thanks dudes but i had no alcohol in me yesterday lol just a little tired... alphabet soup haha!

as far moving back in goes it's a last resort thing i wanted to get replies from others who had donwe this even if just for a short peroid, having not gotten myself on track in life in the 10 years ive been here is where the feeling ashamed part comes in, i wasn't a "bad boy" and kicked out of home, my mum was with a new partner recently married and planning on selling the house to emigrate so i had to move...adn i was unemployed and with problems then, but as the post said what im thinking of asking for is help with money for a better place to live in the email i've still yet to send but see what you're saying bigfeely


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Invisiblefalsereality


Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 4,112
Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303]
    #23406981 - 07/03/16 12:34 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

chameleon303 said:
some note worthy replies many thanks dudes but i had no alcohol in me yesterday lol just a little tired... alphabet soup haha!

as far moving back in goes it's a last resort thing i wanted to get replies from others who had donwe this even if just for a short peroid, having not gotten myself on track in life in the 10 years ive been here is where the feeling ashamed part comes in, i wasn't a "bad boy" and kicked out of home, my mum was with a new partner recently married and planning on selling the house to emigrate so i had to move...adn i was unemployed and with problems then, but as the post said what im thinking of asking for is help with money for a better place to live in the email i've still yet to send but see what you're saying bigfeely




Get a job and make some money, then rent your own place  :cookiemonster:


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303]
    #23407002 - 07/03/16 12:39 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

If u got zero shame and like saving a ton of money, id say go for it.

Plus, u get to secretly grow shrooms in your closet again, just like old times :datass:


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #23407058 - 07/03/16 01:00 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

be happy you have that option. just save a little money until you're back on your feet and get a new place. not the end of the world. or sleep in your car and live like shit until you find a good job :shrug:


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To define is to confine.


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: chameleon303] * 4
    #23407135 - 07/03/16 01:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I wanted to say, is it's not abnormal for people to move back in with their parents at any age, especially if there's family tragedy, divorce, a move, incarceration, coming home from military, you understand I am sure.  I read an article about this a few years ago, might have been on business insider, but it was an eye opening piece about those trying to get ahead.

As long as you aren't doing so, and then taking advantage of your family in any type of way, you're fine, and as long as you don't plan on being a freeloader, and actually take the time around them to formulate a plan to move ahead with your own life, then it can be a positive thing.

Anyone that says you shouldn't do so, has bought into the lie of how life should be, and has categorized life into sections, which removes the humanity of things, life isn't so simple as you hit a certain age then move out, then get married, then buy a house, have kids, retire, die, there are so many seasons throughout our lives. 

Sometimes we're in a winter stage of our life where it's barren and cold, this is when we need help.  Sometimes we're in a spring season of our lives, this is where our lives are starting to grow in some new direction, and really begin to bloom.  During the summer season of our lives, we are stable, growing strong from the positive rays of the sun.  The fall season might be interpreted as our lives heading into the unknown because we know winter is close, and we understand what that means, so we prepare for the changes like a squirrel burying food, I don't know man.:lol:

But what I am really trying to say is, just have a plan, and navigate things as they come your way, but don't beat yourself up because you might have to be back around your family.


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: Lucis]
    #23407160 - 07/03/16 01:31 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Thoughtful, wise words. :justastonishing:

You should do public motivation speech dude. You would be good at it (zero sarcasm intended) :thumbup:


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Offline5150
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23408609 - 07/03/16 09:57 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Just go live in the mountains if its summer where u r,pick out an old house and put that down as your street addy but use a po box for checks to be sent or direct deposit through routing #,work part time in a hostel for your nights stay


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"the way of the warrior is the resolute acceptance of death"

Miyamoto Musashi


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OfflineripT
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Registered: 07/03/16
Posts: 56
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: 5150]
    #23408639 - 07/03/16 10:07 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I hope OP worded his letter to his mom better lol


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: ripT]
    #23408731 - 07/03/16 10:41 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

It happens. I had to do it after I failed my business at 25. I waited until I owed over 20k and was days away from having a heart attack from the anxiety and depression. It happens to a lot of people, needing to move back in, and the embarrassment you feel is normal for someone who has respectable goals in life. Consider yourself lucky you have a family that will take you in because most people do not.

My advice is make your plan solid and actually get the things you need to get done marked off on your calendar or whatever you need to do. Make sure you see the end or make one up because it will make you feel more at ease (and your family will appreciate it). Marking out the next few weeks and months will move you along and get you out as soon as possible.

It's not such a terrible thing, though. Those of us in gen Y and the Millenials are staying home longer and are more likely to come back due to a variety of social and economical factors. Aside from those I know around my age, I also know a couple who went bankrupt at 40's and moved back into the guy's parents' place. They felt like utter failures (duh). But failure is a good thing. They ended up starting a new business together and worked their way out and are now multi-millionaires.

You'll learn to appreciate what you have, what your family gives you, and what you can give back to your family. In the end family is super important anyway so enjoy the time you spend with them. Don't be super hard on yourself and instead use it at motivation to get out. good luck :thumbup:


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Registered: 08/15/11
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Re: moving back in with your folks [Re: Black_Sunset]
    #23408740 - 07/03/16 10:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Idk about the rest of you but when it comes to family my door will ALWAYS be open.


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