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ch1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner



Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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"Friend" always asks for money
#23405317 - 07/02/16 09:12 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I met what I thought was a new friend a couple of years ago. We started chatting at a diner after church one day,, and we had a few things in common. He's quite a bit older (like 70 years old), and was a supper club singer for many years. Despite lots of effort, he never made it big, but really knows his subject matter.
After chatting here and there over the course of a few months, he often mentioned that he needed money, so I gave him an opportunity to occasionally teach me, and pay him for his time--like $25 an hour. I thought that I'd do him a favor, and give him a chance to get into the voice teaching business, by being his first student.
I thought that I'd found something a friend in him, but I believe that I may be wrong. He consistently tries to work me over for money, in whatever imaginable way he can:
- He pressures me to take lessons. Things have financially gone south for me recently, and he's complaining about the money that he's lost from the lessons that I've skipped. - He asks me to pay him forward for future lessons. - He asks to borrow money saying that he'll repay. I lent him $5 once, as a test, and he never paid me back. After that, I told him, "I don't lend friends money. I value our friendship too much." - He asks me if I can pay for his lunch if I see him at the diner again (which I have done sometimes) - He asks me to flat-out give him money.
I have taken over $1000 in lessons from him, bought him or dinner about 10 times. We have gone out to clubs to karaoke, shows, and singers, and I've bought his drinks. I even paid for some business cards made up for him, to try and help him along in his voice teaching.
Recently, he started with the "I need money" mantra again, and my temper flared. I said, "You don't need money, you need WORK." Then he told me that he wasn't really interested in teaching; he wants to perform. The only problem is that nobody wants to hire him for his voice; he can't find work singing. Regardless of why: because supper clubs are generally closing their doors, or his voice doesn't make the cut, or whatever... teaching is where the money is for him--that's a fact.
He doesn't seem to want to accept this; yet, he continues to harass me for money.
What really chafes is that he shows no interest in developing a portfolio of voice students. When I started with him, I thought, "If I work with him as his first student, he'll get some teaching experience, and then he can branch out. Then he won't be so hard up for money." He is showing no initiative. He got a call from a possible new student, and he isn't pursuing it. I introduced him to a friend that's in the business, and we were invited to a party, which could have easily led to a nice opportunity, but he didn't show any interest in going. I hear my neighbor practicing voice, and singing scales. I was going to introduce him to this guy, but I hesitate. I don't trust him anymore.
My attitude is this: if you need money, you have to work. Sometimes you have to work at something that isn't your dream job, but you have to pay the bills. For him, teaching is a way to pay the bills. So, don't come to me asking for money if you're not willing to work for it, when it's there for you.
This attitude would show in the lessons. I had to push him to work, but once we got going, I learned quite a bit.
At the same time, I do miss those lessons. He had a lot to teach, and a lot to share.
A bit of a rambling post, but any advice from Teh Shroomery? Thx,
-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
Edited by ch1ck3n.s0up (07/02/16 09:30 PM)
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#23406111 - 07/03/16 05:36 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Some people are naturally spongers, and others are devout about always paying their way. As always, the middle path is the one of peace.
He can only take what you give him, so if it becomes unbalanced then you have to refuse to give him any more until the balance is restored.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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YeOlde
Stranger

Registered: 04/19/14
Posts: 647
Loc: UK
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Dude seriously. Please fuck him off ASAP. I got a similar "Friend" but with my life experience I know better. I've lent him lifts in my car and borrowed him money.
All for Weed I might add. This guy really doesn't do the image of a pothead any favours. The way he goes on you'd think he was on junk. Nope, we're talking pot.
He was supposed to pay me back 17 days ago on a Thursday (The day he apparently was going to get paid).
Guess what? He tells me he got it mixed up and it's going to be the next Thursday. That comes and oh guess what, he still isn't paid.
I told him straight I think he's cunting me off. He said he isn't. I said OK (sarcastic/don't believe the prick)
Can you believe he has the audactiy to continute to ask me for lifts so he can go and tick weed off different dealers?
I'm straight up acting to be his friend whilst not doing nothing for him in the meantime. When (more like IF) he pays me back, I'm going to fuck him off completely.
It never takes me that long to realise why I self-imposed a life of lonliness and solitude. I just tend to attract so many waster selfish type people I can't be fucked with them at all.
Do yourself a favour and tell him where to go. I'm very to the point with people now as well. I don't keep nothing back.
-------------------- My Psychedelic experiences: LSD - 30+ times (2 hits min / max 3 hits) every time. Shrooms - 4 times (2.5 - 3.5g) DMT - 5 times (Powerful breakthrough only once) Life can be one hell of a bitter pill to swallow so I chose acid instead -YeOlde
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Brian Jones
Club 27



Registered: 12/18/12
Posts: 12,342
Loc: attending Snake Church
Last seen: 16 hours, 22 minutes
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
#23406168 - 07/03/16 06:42 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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You have to dump this friend. He's proven what he is.
-------------------- "The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body" John Lennon I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: YeOlde] 1
#23420356 - 07/07/16 02:10 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
YeOlde said: Dude seriously. Please tell him to fuck him off ASAP.
Let him read this thread. Then, watch his reaction. Then, you'll know if he's your friend or if you're his long-term mark.
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: memes]
#23424155 - 07/08/16 04:40 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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He's found a sucker, it's you.
Sorry, it's hard to admit, but he's no friend.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up] 1
#23424167 - 07/08/16 04:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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That man is not your friend. He is using you for your money.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 15 hours, 54 minutes
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: nooneman] 2
#23426308 - 07/09/16 11:31 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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"friend" can go fuck himself.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: Patlal]
#23429711 - 07/10/16 03:53 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Why do you have two threads for this subject?
Quote:
Patlal said: "friend" can go fuck himself.
exactly what I said in his other thread
Quote:
"Pretty simple, throw out this old line
"go fuck yourself"
Works for many occasions"
Edited by Repertoire89 (07/10/16 03:59 PM)
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TheMovement
faeirie princess in training



Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: Repertoire89]
#23430837 - 07/10/16 11:20 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said: Why do you have two threads for this subject?
Quote:
Patlal said: "friend" can go fuck himself.
exactly what I said in his other thread
Quote:
"Pretty simple, throw out this old line
"go fuck yourself"
Works for many occasions"
Homies should look out for each other, but it doesn't seem like a reciprocal relationship. Don't give him money if you don't think he can pay it forward in favors. Also, he shouldn't be buying tree if he owes you money.
-------------------- Utwiddle.net In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one. BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT Join the Anarchy Camp! Down with Oppression!!
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xzylocybin
Stranger



Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 2,304
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: TheMovement]
#23430847 - 07/10/16 11:24 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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haha shit he has been hustling you hard, he is probably a crack head, give him a swift kick to the stomach next time he asks, guarantee it will be the last time.
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Still_tripping
Lord yes!


Registered: 10/07/15
Posts: 747
Loc: A small hot country
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: xzylocybin]
#23432126 - 07/11/16 01:32 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Why don't you just adopt him.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: TheMovement] 1
#23432226 - 07/11/16 02:13 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheMovement said:
Homies should look out for each other, but it doesn't seem like a reciprocal relationship. Don't give him money if you don't think he can pay it forward in favors. Also, he shouldn't be buying tree if he owes you money.
I've been ripped off a few grand over the years, 3-5k total probably.
Still down to lend small amounts (say under $100), but much more carefully these days.
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ch1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner



Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: "Friend" always asks for money [Re: Repertoire89]
#23433582 - 07/11/16 10:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said: Why do you have two threads for this subject?
Yeah sorry... I just got aggravated when he started again with the "I need money" routine, and I posted again out of frustration. Responses from the other thread posted below, I will delete the it.
Quote:
PatrickKn said: Is he a gambler or something? Tell him you can't afford to give him money anymore, and that you are focusing your finances on yourself from now on.
That's it. Don't need to guilt trip yourself into giving him anything. He can manage just fine without your help if he's getting a check every month. Doesn't even need to be a long conversation, just tell him straight up what your feelings are, the same ones you've said here.
Quote:
Repertoire89 said: Pretty simple, throw out this old line
"go fuck yourself"
Works for many occasions
-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
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