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Anonymous #1
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Anxiety
#23397252 - 06/30/16 11:48 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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How do you guys(gals) cope with anxiety about your relationships?
My girlfriend recently took a trip out of state to party with girlfriends, but came back with these guys added on snapchat. Its like, I don't care cause she'd never cheat on me or do something to hurt me. She is just a fun bubbly person who probably didn't think anything of it. But at the same time, I am an introvert who overthinks everything and the anxiety of why she would have even given them her snapchat info makes my heart pound.
Call it jealousy, insecurity, overprotecting, or whatever you want to call it. I just want to not be having so much anxiety and stress over it. She has no idea how much it bothers me because I haven't said anything and I want it to NOT bother me. I feel like, truly its not a big deal, but in my head its a huge deal, so much so that it gives me an upset stomach and the shits. I am just naturally an anxiety filled person but I want to control it.
How do you control your nerves and anxiety? It literally gives me diarrhea because I stress so hard. I need coping advice that doesn't involve xanax or other meds.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Wish I could help man, but anxiety is a very foreign feeling to me. As with fear, I can count the number of times I've felt it as an adult on half a hand.
I imagine though, therapy would be your best bet. It's helped me to understand so much about my own behaviours.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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I would give up everything I own to be like that. Anxiety runs my life. I've considered therapy, but I don't want anyone to know I'm going to therapy. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to know either because she is like you, shes outgoing and doesn't get anxiety. Its completely opposite of her and I'm afraid she wouldn't understand. Sure, she'd support me probably but she would have no understanding.
My last relationship ended badly because of my anxiety. It caused me to be overbearing and controlling, which is what I want to avoid in my current relationship.
I've seen you post about meditating. I've wondered if it would help me, but I don't get the first thing about meditating, that is something that would be foreign to me.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Proper diet, structured/balanced exercise, meditation, and reading of good books will do wonders for any living human. As would therapy. You know me man, I'm happy to help in any way I can. Here, PM, whatever. Sounds like you know me somewhat already, so consider myself at your service man.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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xzylocybin
Stranger



Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 2,304
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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All women cheat, get over it or go gay
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
xzylocybin said: All women cheat, get over it or go gay
Bollocks. All humans do ____________ is the most retarded argument one can supply, other than if you replace the blank with the word 'die'.
NOTHING else is certain.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: Proper diet, structured/balanced exercise, meditation, and reading of good books will do wonders for any living human. As would therapy. You know me man, I'm happy to help in any way I can. Here, PM, whatever. Sounds like you know me somewhat already, so consider myself at your service man.
I've just seen you posting around the pub lately. I appreciate that though, so thank you. 
I am trying to improve my diet, I eat healthy but I need to eat MORE, especially because I want to start exercising. I'm hoping it will boost my self esteem and in return help with my anxiety.
Quote:
xzylocybin said: All women cheat, get over it or go gay
Doesn't really help my anxiety, but thanks, i guess.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Get to know me man, my door is always open.
And please discount that post by xzylocybin, it's the biggest heap of shit I've seen in months.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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Given that you have no anxiety and seem to feel confident. Would the above worry you? Your girl going out of town to party with girlfriends then coming back with some new guys on her snap chat snapping her.
I am curious how it would make you feel or if that would be a big deal to you? Idk how you are, but lets say your like me and only do exclusive relationships, nothing open.
yeah, im just disregarding what he said, its of no help anyway.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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No, it's 0 deal to me. I'm very trusting, until my trust is broken.
This is the total opposite of my little bro however, so I get it.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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I see.
I am trusting of her as well. I guess it plays into my anxiety which does stem from some insecurities that I have never been happy about. Mostly physical insecurities (skinny body). I try to gain weight but its very hard.
Maybe, if I was bigger I wouldn't have so much anxiety cause I wouldn't feel so insecure about how I look. Basically, i worry that some jacked confident dudes she got drunk with are snapping her, which sounds so beta when I hear myself say it 
Just making this whole thread makes me feel beta
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Mate, this was me at 15:
This was me at 20:
This is me at 32 (present):
You're a hard gainer from the sounds of things, as am I. I can help. Believe me man, confidence in yourself is everything. I just overrode it in younger years by being aggressive as fuck. Not the best choice. You can do better.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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yeah, your 15 year old picture is what I look like right now and Im in my mid 20's. 
Looks like you've made solid progress though. Kudos to that.
What kills me is that it doesn't happen over night. I want to be big NOW, or wish the human body could show noticeable differences in a quicker time then months and years. But, I suppose you have to start somewhere.
Also, dope tats.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Yeah, wanting results now is just immature brother. Anything worth having takes a LOT of time and hard work. You've got full support here, please know that.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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And remember this hard lesson:
Diet is 85% of the battle in changing your body.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: Yeah, wanting results now is just immature brother. Anything worth having takes a LOT of time and hard work. You've got full support here, please know that.
Yeah, it is immature. But its the side of me that wants to be bigger and stronger not only for me but for her. I want her to see me like that. Not these other dudes who want her. I appreciate your support, really 
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: And remember this hard lesson:
Diet is 85% of the battle in changing your body.
How many calories do you eat a day?
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Well, you need to calculate your BMR. Then based on your activity levels, work out your TDEE.
If you wanna bulk, go in at 20% over your TDEE. In terms of macros, I really hit the sweet spot when I switched to 50% carbs.
To cut is just 20% deficit. The science is very easy, and I'll share all my trials and errors with you.
The day in, day out, eating 6 times a day shit - that's the hard bit.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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Yeah I work 8-5 for 5 days a week so its hard to make time to eat that much.
I did a quick calculator thing that I googled and it says I should be getting almost 2800-3200 calories a day. and that I probably burn around 1500-1700 a day. My job is a desk job so I am not active at work.
I don't want to be cut, I want to bulk. I want to put on real weight. I am 6 foot, 155lbs but Id love to be 170+
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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PM me. I'll help you. I might take a few days to write up a proper response, but I'll get there, you have my word.
OR
Start a thread in P&MW-B if you want the input (faster) and from many.
You can have it all man. You just gotta want it bad enough.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: PM me. I'll help you. I might take a few days to write up a proper response, but I'll get there, you have my word.
OR
Start a thread in P&MW-B if you want the input (faster) and from many.
You can have it all man. You just gotta want it bad enough.
Cool, thanks man. I'll definitely do that. I would rather start with PMing you first then make a thread secondly.
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