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Invisiblelaughingdog
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Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #23411673 - 07/04/16 07:48 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

"Sometimes it seems poor unhappy humans are almost everywhere. "

I meant 'poor' in the sense of sad/pathetic not economic.

anyway sounds like you're in a real hot spot of sociological  chaos/maelstrom...

...suppose it's interesting to observe, especially if one has an eye like R. Crumb the 'underground' comic strip artist, but also potentially quite painful if one feels involved...

must be an art just to navigate...


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OfflineKinko
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Registered: 01/07/11
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 4 months, 30 days
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: laughingdog]
    #23411741 - 07/04/16 08:07 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

God maybe I am unlucky .. But noone seems to be rude to me . I live a boring , lonely life and working a shitty job .. Sometimes I wish people were rude to me just so I.can rock their world with violence if I can get away with it.    Now I dont go on and about starting trouble because I dont see the.point and.. The person could be armed or have friends nearby .....


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida Flag
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Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: laughingdog]
    #23411826 - 07/04/16 08:46 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

laughingdog said:
"Sometimes it seems poor unhappy humans are almost everywhere. "

I meant 'poor' in the sense of sad/pathetic not economic.

anyway sounds like you're in a real hot spot of sociological  chaos/maelstrom...

...suppose it's interesting to observe, especially if one has an eye like R. Crumb the 'underground' comic strip artist, but also potentially quite painful if one feels involved...

must be an art just to navigate...





My bad, weren't sure if you were being literal (or, sarcastic  :blush:). I wish I could take it in more like R. Crumb, but I suppose it's always been particularly difficult to relate to people under the best of circumstances (like in college), so it has been much more difficult to connect with people in this place, with my personality, most of my life, half of which has been in Miami. :shrug: Part of it is my attempts in life to thwart ordinary social conventions, i.e., not becoming a parent, therefore not interacting with other parents, then grandparents, not belonging to a faith community which is a source of social life, and having had a very alienated family (now all the elders are dead, and 7 of my 10 remaining cousins not wanting anything to do with one another. My BFF from toddlerhood is the last of my original friends from childhood (and the first one in this life). The rest have either rejected me, or me them. As Frank Zappa used to sing: "You'll be absolutely free only if you want to be..." but sometimes I experiences the freedom and detachment as rather unpleasant existential alienation. Some times I'm not sure if it's place so much as time that I am alienated from. I'm a 1970s guy living in the teens of the 21st century and in a particularly materialistic culture. It seems like I'm living in a 1970s time-bubble while moving through the 21st century, looking out with a kind of subtle horror at the culture, unable or unwilling to leave the bubble, yet unable to bring anyone else into the bubble. When people do enter into our microcosm, it often feels like we're curiosities for much younger acquaintances and crazies for square contemporaries. :shrug: It is what it is.



--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisiblePenelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic
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Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: MarkostheGnostic] * 2
    #23412094 - 07/04/16 10:32 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
I just came inside from the front where I waved to a woman who was walking by 30' in front of her husband and small child, whom he was carrying. She didn't respond at all. I said, "It's OK to wave," and she smiled slightly. Then I waved at the man. No response. "Happy 4th" I said. Half-smile response. They don't know English, or don't care about the 4th of July, or they're rude, or all the above. The house they entered is known for lots of traffic, the 20-something is partly paralyzed from a gun shot (he is criminally disposed), and there has been domestic violence there. One problem is immigrants who do NOT identify with being American, and whose attitude is to NOT permit themselves any real enculturation (like I am expected to speak Spanish and/or Creole), and worse, the attitude of 'I piss on YOUR country' while living here. So this is the nature of Miamian rude-culture where immigrants FAR outnumber natural born Americans and who are contemptuous toward America and its citizens. :shrug:





I am from a small town where we wave to each other in passing while we are driving - much less not separated by a car. That's what fails when ridiculously high levels of immigration occur - low to zero cultural assimilation. If someone is in a place because they want what that place has, then WHY is their psychological reaction one of disdain for its residents? THEY ARE THE ONES WHO MADE IT THE WAY IT IS. I'm not here to hijack the thread and go off on an immigration tangent, so I'll just let that dog lie.

When I moved out to LA last year, I was shocked how dirty it was and how suspicious/hard people were (I did outside B2B cold calling). The simple fact that there was so much trash on the side of the street showed which neighborhoods gave a damn about themselves and which didn't. I understand the places that some people have come from may make them more biased towards being suspicious, but seriously, if those people outweigh the community-driven people in an area, then how is that desirable?

I have considered relocating again since I've moved back home (turns out - I really do love the desert), but after the pride I felt in my city tonight and the things you mention, MtG, it makes me feel like I should stay put and play a part in creating that community that so many places seem to lack. I wish I could help people everywhere develop stronger communities.


--------------------
full blown human


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/09/99
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Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Penelope_Tree]
    #23412426 - 07/05/16 01:19 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Looking around my neighborhood 07/04, I was the only person I saw who put up American flags - a traditional one and one with the 50 stars arranged in a peace sign. I am a Liberal Democrat, and not a military veteran, but I feel like an American on July 4th more than any other day. I thank God for the freedoms I've always enjoyed compared to most of the globe. When I was in Nigeria years ago on July 4th I sought out Americans at the embassy (they were all at the local Sheraton getting drunk), so there's no denying that I am an American on an existential level. My wife was a British subject who now has American citizenship, and she is proud to be an American also.

I don't care where you came from but if you're here and you're disparaging my country while taking advantage of every aspect of the system, yet you trash the very ground, but hang flags of your former country of residence on your rear-view mirror, or Haitian flags outside your car on 'Haitian Flag Day' then fuck you! (BTW, the Haitian flag salute I saw when I worked in middle school is the same as the Nazi salute). I am NOT for acquiescing to all the bullshit cultural acquiescences that further polarizes the people in this penile peninsula of the USA called Florida. It's florid alright, florid with symptoms. :sad: Our government might be bad by some standards of corruption, but it still allows me freedoms that most other countries do not. Nobody is breaking down our doors for talking about mushroom-growing, and Grateful Deed concerts in the past drove the point of American freedom all the way from my soul to my spirit. I'm about ready to spend money for a commercial flag pole in order to fly Old Glory (the peace sign version) and maybe a Steal Your Face red, white, and blue "freak flag" high. :yesnod:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Penelope_Tree]
    #23412923 - 07/05/16 08:07 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Penelope_Tree said:
I wish I could help people everywhere develop stronger communities.



Stunning words P_T. Straight after my own heart. Community has been of the utmost importance in my life for as long as I can remember; and yet for some reason, I've been dragged into a world which seems the very antithesis of it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23413952 - 07/05/16 02:22 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
WHY do we live in a world where we must be reminded to do so???






That's your local cultural reality tunnel though, I find people in Portland to be.... as in the avatar of memories "polite as fuck" :wink:  You'd just have to see it to believe it.  My only wish was that rich Californians weren't buying up our properties to rent as their nest egg.  Would be a better city if the people who actually lived here owned.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 17 hours, 33 minutes
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #23418243 - 07/06/16 08:11 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

This perspective has helped me be less reactive...

  Rude people are suffering.

  Mean people are suffering.

  Selfish people are suffering.


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Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
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Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
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Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23418279 - 07/06/16 08:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
This perspective has helped me be less reactive...

  Rude people are suffering.

  Mean people are suffering.

  Selfish people are suffering.




There's a lot of wisdom in this. The problem is that when we meet rude people, or mean people, or selfish people - or people who are none of those things but who we misinterpret as them - we become angry. The first thing that happens when we get angry is that we stop caring about other people's suffering.

So it takes a lot of calmness to live the perspective you described.


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: viktor]
    #23418281 - 07/06/16 08:28 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

viktor said:
So it takes a lot of calmness to live the perspective you described.



I see it in the reverse; the perspective he described creates a lot of calmness in life.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 17 hours, 33 minutes
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: viktor]
    #23418296 - 07/06/16 08:34 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Yes, anger is usually our knee jerk irrational reaction.

Anger is irrational because it's based on the belief reality "should" be different.

When I'm angry or hate certain people (and I do), I don't see them as human.

Anger is always an opportunity to learn something about ourselves and grow.

I've really struggled with my anger. Best book on anger I've ever read (I've read a few) =

Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier

By Sharon Salzberg


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23418320 - 07/06/16 08:42 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
I've really struggled with my anger.



Oh man, you and me both. It really used to be such a drug for me. I used to get off on the sheer power I felt from being fully immersed in it. Therapy has helped me to understand why this was the case, and thankfully, I've since been able to learn to experience my power in more productive ways.

Being aware of how damaged we really all are (probably the most salient point I learned in my early contact with Buddhist teachings) really helped my to change my direction as described above.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
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Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23418321 - 07/06/16 08:42 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Yes, anger is usually our knee jerk irrational reaction.

Anger is irrational because it's based on the belief reality "should" be different.





Yeah, the very first thing that anger does when it enters the mind is to convince us that it is a legitimate and correct emotion. Or perhaps even THE legitimate and correct emotion, because doubt seems to get pushed aside.

Whenever I see an adult get angry I see a toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pathetic really.

I learned to do this in Thailand, where they are all Buddhist. In Thailand anger does not work. People don't do what you want if you get angry - they treat you like you are a savage, a pathetic animal.

It's a very different perspective to the West. In the West if you get angry and punish someone then you are the big man and people look up to you.

You're right that it's based on the belief that reality should be different. Perhaps that's all it is.


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


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InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23418763 - 07/06/16 10:54 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
WHY do we live in a world where we must be reminded to do so???






Is that sign in London? PM me where it is and I'll deface it, then you can delete this post.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: EllisDSox]
    #23423101 - 07/08/16 10:36 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

It was somewhere along the Lee Valley Canal. I did a 12 hour walking meditation along it, from Broxbourne -> Tottenham.

I also saw this cheesy as fuck advert on the side of a bus, which, like the sign above, reduced me to albsolute hysterics (the camera shake was cause I was still trying to quell my laughter):



You're just one man BD. If we can gather an army, then I'll join you in defacing every stupid fucking sign in a 20 mile radius of the square mile. There's fucking millions of them.

At least the one in the OP wasn't trying to sell me something.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineHippocampus
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Registered: 04/01/15
Posts: 753
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23428032 - 07/09/16 11:31 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

That's true though, women love English accents in the US. 

People in Portland are normally super polite out of courtesy.  But there's a huge undercurrent of passive aggressiveness and contempt that can get ugly.  IDK how many people I've talked to in Portland that act polite but are actually super negative and constantly just put everything you do or say through their negativity filter.  But it only comes out as even more passive aggressiveness disguised as courtesy.  Portland is certainly not anywhere near the nicest city.  And courtesy is overrated when it smacks of patronization, resentment, and contempt.  Face it, it's just a bunch of snooty white people.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Hippocampus]
    #23428055 - 07/09/16 11:40 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

It's not the nicest city, smaller cities like Asheville, NC have had nicer people imho, but you're waxing judgmental, because let's face it, PDX has 2.2 million people and you haven't even began to have met but the smallest fraction of them and are drawing big conclusions.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineHippocampus
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Registered: 04/01/15
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #23428066 - 07/09/16 11:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

So national polls don't mean anything since they didn't talk to every single American?


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: Hippocampus]
    #23428133 - 07/10/16 12:39 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

How is that logical?  A national poll removes you as the sole observer, at best you get to cast a vote and see what the majority of people think.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineHippocampus
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Registered: 04/01/15
Posts: 753
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Being curtious to others.. [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #23428203 - 07/10/16 01:21 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

'tis true, I am but one man.  One white man.  Which happens to be OTTOMH 25% of all people living in Portland.  According to the internet lists Portland is of middling nicety compared to the rest of the country. :shrug: 

But having recently moved back here, the most glaring thing I've noticed is that Portland is the whitest city in the US.  Everywhere I go it's wall to wall white people just like me.  72% or thereabouts.  I was at Bastille day festival in downtown SW today and I couldn't find a single hispanic in a crowd of 50-80.  All of this incubating in one race creates what seems like a lot of racism for a city with a reputation for being so open minded and liberal.

After moving away from Portland area, I lived for a long time in various other locations that were far, far more diverse.  Where whites are the minority.  Even less than 1% in one place I lived for over a year.  It's truly a shocker coming back and seeing only white people everywhere and seeing other cultures virtually wiped from public display. 

Then I noticed the extremely racist things people just casually say all the time here.  I occasionally find myself looking around to make sure no one was around that would take offense to something racist someone says.  And invariably there isn't!  Or if there is, they wouldn't dare object.  They are probably used to it.  White people don't even get it here.  They would probably all rate themselves as very low on the racism scale.  But I can't really blame them too much.  It all just stems from inexperience, resistance to change, fear of the unknown, and just not knowing any better. 

Come to think of it, it's about as white here as in good ole London.  Weird.  I've never been there.  I've only watched Top Gear, and Dr. Who.  And from those shows I can say that multicultural and LGBTQXYZ opinions come off about how they did on older American television programs from the 90's.  They would joke about gays in ways that I would expect to hear from a 50-70 year old in Portland.


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