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klhouse



Registered: 12/12/15
Posts: 671
Loc: SE Virginia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!!
#23395331 - 06/29/16 07:51 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I swear to god! I have a roommate and this motherfucker keeps knocking on my door when I'm about to shoot my load. It has happened for months. No rhyme or reason. Different hours. And I just don't mean when I'm looking at porno, I mean when I am working on the short strokes.
I came home today from work, tired and sore. Home alone, thought I would rub one out. Took an hour looking up new material. Warmed up on different pics. Finally found the right pic. Was within ten seconds of finishing when this bastard knocks on my door!!! And I was trying to do it when he wasn't home because he always interrupts at the last fucking second. I am a low key guy but I just started cussing very loud when he knocked. Pissed me off. Trust me, it has happened waaaaaaaaayyyyy to often. He has even asked me before why I get mad when he knocks on my door.
I don't believe in any mystic crap. The guy ain't gay, but I searched the room for cameras--nothing. There is no way I can wrap my head around this as being random. Now I'm too mad too masturbate tonight and I think that as soon as I get close again, he'll knock wanting to know why I was cussing and if I'm ok. It is getting hard for me to rub one out because I'm getting anxious cause I know this asshole is going to cock block me.
Last week, I did get to finish once, but he knocked on the door within fifteen seconds of me finishing. What kind of timing is this?
I don't cuss like this normally but fuck, I'm frustrated and weirded out. And he's not an asshole, fairly nice guy, but this has me ticked off. I don't believe conspiracy theories and crap but this is truly truly weird.
Any thoughts?
-------------------- Shroomery mycologist definitely know their shit. Knowledge talks. Wisdom listens.
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Once
Cactus Slave



Registered: 03/06/11
Posts: 54
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 9
#23395337 - 06/29/16 07:54 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sounds like your always jerking off.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 1
#23395345 - 06/29/16 07:56 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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How many times per day does he knock on your door?
If 9/10x its when you're jacking off, every time you jackoff, he probably has a camera / peephole in your room somewhere.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 3 hours, 27 minutes
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 3
#23395347 - 06/29/16 07:56 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Pic? What is this? 1999?
Either something you're doing is tipping him off that you're doing it, or you're just doing it so often that he basically can't approach your door without "catching you at a bad time".
Put a sock on your door. Tell him the sock means stay the fuck away
--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Shroomslip]
#23395367 - 06/29/16 08:00 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomslip said:
Put a sock on your door. Tell him the sock means stay the fuck away

No reason to hide what your doing OP. If you were my roomate, i'd be concerned if you DIDN'T jerk off. people like that shoot up their workplace.
Edited by Adolin (06/29/16 08:02 PM)
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Anahata


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 2,399
Last seen: 3 days, 9 hours
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Once]
#23395370 - 06/29/16 08:02 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Put a tag on your door saying do not disturb.
Don't answer, do your business and say you had head phones on.
Leave porn on in the other room.
Put a poster of a naked dude on you door.
Try to ruin his moments.
Be creative, have fun.
--------------------

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RobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice


Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 30 days, 14 hours
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 2
#23395371 - 06/29/16 08:02 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Masturbate in the shower, and rather than making a mess for someone else to step in, drop the load in his shampoo bottle.
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Adolin] 1
#23395372 - 06/29/16 08:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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You could always just say fuck it and play your porn really fucking loud 
If he knocks anyways yell CAN I GET A HAND
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: RobZombie68]
#23395376 - 06/29/16 08:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
RobZombie68 said: Masturbate in the shower, and rather than making a mess for someone else to step in, drop the load in his shampoo bottle.
I think this comment is the winner. Do it.
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 2
#23395378 - 06/29/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Man up and tell him to stop knocking on your door whenever its closed so you can masturbate in peace, if that doesnt work just moan loudly and dont answer. You're both adults.
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klhouse



Registered: 12/12/15
Posts: 671
Loc: SE Virginia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Shroomslip]
#23395389 - 06/29/16 08:08 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Odd, but I like pics as much as video. Maybe because I can make my own scenario.
I masturbate about four times a week, on average. I have a chick from work and we fool around about once a week at her place. Friends with benefits.
I don't think he has camera because he won't be home, or he'll be watching tv, or I can see him out window working on his car and then BAM, he shows up out the blue knocking on my door at the worst possible moment. And it is always legit, I told him yesterday that we would go play pool tonight.
-------------------- Shroomery mycologist definitely know their shit. Knowledge talks. Wisdom listens.
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Crixalis
Wobble Master



Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Adolin]
#23395390 - 06/29/16 08:09 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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You made a masturbation thread on your 420th post count.
That is gangsta.

In all seriousness, maybe you can come up with this fetish where you want to bust right when someone knocks on the door.
-------------------- Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 1
#23395418 - 06/29/16 08:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Does he happen to be a talking cricket?
Maybe he's your conscious, trying to steer you away from Sin-crime
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klhouse



Registered: 12/12/15
Posts: 671
Loc: SE Virginia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Repertoire89]
#23395504 - 06/29/16 08:57 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I don't know about a talking cricket... he IS a small guy. This has been bordering on the supernatural. I am about open to any possibility. Mystical or not. It is like masturbating is rubbing the magic lamp that summons the cock-block demon. If I had this on video, you would think it was fake. When I get close to the finish, I eye the door and wish him to stay away but then there is the knock. And he wants to have a conversation with 20 questions thru thedoor. Ruins the mood. Then he wants to show me something on his car or whatever...
-------------------- Shroomery mycologist definitely know their shit. Knowledge talks. Wisdom listens.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 3 hours, 27 minutes
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 5
#23395511 - 06/29/16 08:59 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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You're thinking about it all wrong. He's not being a cock-block. You're sensing the future and when he's going to be knocking on your door and are timing it so that he knocks right when you're about to nut because secretly you like him. You ate too many mushrooms.
--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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klhouse



Registered: 12/12/15
Posts: 671
Loc: SE Virginia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: Shroomslip]
#23395519 - 06/29/16 09:01 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I was wondering when that scenario would show up.
-------------------- Shroomery mycologist definitely know their shit. Knowledge talks. Wisdom listens.
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MrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)


Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse]
#23395571 - 06/29/16 09:19 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
klhouse said: I was wondering when that scenario would show up.
Apparently pretty often...
-------------------- Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION
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klhouse



Registered: 12/12/15
Posts: 671
Loc: SE Virginia
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: MrBlueYoMind]
#23395579 - 06/29/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well, he is in bed, I might try again...
-------------------- Shroomery mycologist definitely know their shit. Knowledge talks. Wisdom listens.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse]
#23395587 - 06/29/16 09:22 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Shits getting deep in here
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse] 1
#23395601 - 06/29/16 09:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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DSHSB?
Kidding. Just tell him that he's doing it and that he has to stop. The awkwardness of that entire encounter should either convince him to stop, or convince you to move out.
Edited by nooneman (06/29/16 09:26 PM)
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,898
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse]
#23395629 - 06/29/16 09:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
klhouse said: Now I'm too mad too masturbate tonight
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lowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!



Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 9,662
Last seen: 2 days, 10 hours
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse]
#23396095 - 06/30/16 12:34 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Some people just naturally have shitty timing. My ex boss and mom are two of them.
-------------------- Amanita86 said: Sui is trying to mod right now. Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..
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nice1returns
I am the Holy Shit



Registered: 09/04/14
Posts: 2,303
Loc: miwuaki
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: klhouse]
#23396134 - 06/30/16 01:12 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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My mother used to do this, she'd leave the house so I'd finally be able to whack one aftyer saving it up all week then she'd come back knocking on the door shouting. Naturally I was pretty unhappy or angry most the time and she didn't know why.
Its not really spoken about in my society so I don't know - theres not really any good time or place allocated to masterbation its more something you have to hide and try and do fast when no ones about but usually if you try and hide for a while some one comes to see what your doing. 
I think we should just have fleshlights and condoms in every bathroom. Why not? Its pretty much as essential as taking a daily shit. If men don't do it it starts to have very bad effects on us, night ejaculation all over the bed, aggression, anger, depression and a shorter life span. Its not our faults we need 30 mins every day to fuck a pussy or jack off yet society makes it something you have to hide away and do fast.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: WTF!!! This motherfucker keeps interrupting my masturbation. Uncanny!!! [Re: nice1returns]
#23396207 - 06/30/16 02:31 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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If all else fails there's always the shower Just wrap your fleshlight in a towel and saunter over
(⌐◕_◕)==ε/̵̿/’̿
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