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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
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Have you ever?
    #23378238 - 06/24/16 05:43 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Have you ever faked a drug test?
Have You Ever Faked A Drug Test
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (06/24/16 02:43 PM) to (No end specified)
View the results of this poll



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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23378246 - 06/24/16 05:45 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

no


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©️


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OfflineFools Crow
The Great Mystery


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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Lucis]
    #23378275 - 06/24/16 05:52 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Nah. Never even had to take one yet. I did give myself one once though. :lol:


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
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Registered: 12/06/11
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Fools Crow]
    #23378277 - 06/24/16 05:53 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

no.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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InvisibleTripping2Adventure
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Registered: 03/28/16
Posts: 371
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23378282 - 06/24/16 05:53 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Connoisseur said:
Have you ever faked a drug test?



Several times, only for work though.
Quickfix Plus 2.0, best stuff on the market.
My buddy's got a system to that keeps it the right temp off of a 9v battery inside of an IV bag wrapped in the blanket heater. Just strap to your leg and when you're ready to 'pis' take the kink off the end of the IV hose and it sounds like someone is pissing even.


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OfflineT-Rex
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Tripping2Adventure]
    #23378314 - 06/24/16 06:06 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, I've tried. And failed miserably.


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OfflineT-Rex
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: T-Rex] * 1
    #23378323 - 06/24/16 06:08 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)



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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: T-Rex]
    #23378337 - 06/24/16 06:13 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Hilarious story


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OfflineT-Rex
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23378346 - 06/24/16 06:17 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Guy makes me laugh harder then anyone


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23378410 - 06/24/16 06:41 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Never taken one.


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23378423 - 06/24/16 06:45 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I once bought a "system cleaner" from the head shop that i drank before a drug test.

Does that count?


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23378684 - 06/24/16 08:41 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I get hit with random test all the time at work, fortunately you can be as wasted as you like as long as it's not weed, coke, heroin or amphetamine :lol:


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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


Edited by Northerner (06/24/16 08:42 PM)


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Northerner]
    #23378767 - 06/24/16 09:15 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Haha. No breatherizer required! :lol:


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23378781 - 06/24/16 09:20 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

No.
I put on my best puppy dog eyes, told my boss I smoked 'a little bit of weed at a party a few weeks ago', and somehow it worked and they postponed and eventually just never tested me at all :lol:. I was already hired and it wasn't incident related though.

Would not recommend.


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OfflineOthyem
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #23378795 - 06/24/16 09:27 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

No never had to pass one.


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Offlineclock_of_omens
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23379000 - 06/24/16 10:52 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Never taken one myself. Does giving other people pee count? Because I've done that several times.


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Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23379233 - 06/25/16 12:28 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

No, I always just go clean for a while.


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OfflineMississippiChris
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: nooneman]
    #23379356 - 06/25/16 01:27 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Ive never taken one legitimately. Now that i have kids I use my 5 year old sons pee. But I used to just buy fake pee.


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What the human race is suffering from, is mass hypnosis.


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: MississippiChris]
    #23379799 - 06/25/16 05:53 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

How exactly do you explain that to your kid? Oh just pee in this cup buddy. Before you know it he'll be asking about drugs. I'm not trying to be a dick, but don't be surprised if he starts talking to the other kids at school about it and it gets around to the teacher.

To answer the OP, I'll probably never take a drug test. :cookiemonster:


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Offlinehex_enduction
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23380002 - 06/25/16 08:25 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Got one coming up for probation or something?

You might want to look into things like this

http://www.thewhizzinator.com/


--------------------


Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs

sunshine said:
Tragic.  I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: hex_enduction]
    #23380021 - 06/25/16 08:35 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

No, but I took loads of drugs once.

I have actually been breathalysed after a good few drinks quite a few times but always came up clean.

Do the coppers in the US use those mouth swab drug test kits yet? They're here now and last time I got tugged (for doing 150mph - head was flat on the tank so I didn't see the flashing blue lights chasing me in my mirrors...) I got breathalysed and when I asked him if he was gonna do the drug test he said 'we only use that if we've got suspicion' (of course I was stone cold sober, I just wanted to check out their kit).

I think I got off with a slap on the wrist for the speeding as, being as friendly as I am to cops these days, he pulled out his phone after the breathalyser and started showing me pictures of HIS Fireblade (I was riding MY Fireblade at the time)...


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23380074 - 06/25/16 08:58 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
How exactly do you explain that to your kid? Oh just pee in this cup buddy. Before you know it he'll be asking about drugs. I'm not trying to be a dick, but don't be surprised if he starts talking to the other kids at school about it and it gets around to the teacher.



"It's for the doctor."


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OfflineEasyriding123
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: psi]
    #23380324 - 06/25/16 10:26 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I also used quick fix plus 2.0


Worked flawlessly it was just uncomfortable having the bottle of fake piss in my briefs.


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23380572 - 06/25/16 11:51 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
How exactly do you explain that to your kid? Oh just pee in this cup buddy. Before you know it he'll be asking about drugs. I'm not trying to be a dick, but don't be surprised if he starts talking to the other kids at school about it and it gets around to the teacher.

To answer the OP, I'll probably never take a drug test. :cookiemonster:



Yeah, seemed a bit sketchy to me too. Kids are too fucking smart to be playing games with, curious creatures that they are.

Just avoid the drugs that can be detected in standard tests mate, they're generally the crap ones anyway.


--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Northerner]
    #23380810 - 06/25/16 01:08 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

i took them for nearly ten years on probation. i just stopped doing anything about three weeks before my meetings and passed every time. i was doing what i was supposed to so i didn't get tested much.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: psi]
    #23381631 - 06/25/16 06:00 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

psi said:
Quote:

XLCaps said:
How exactly do you explain that to your kid? Oh just pee in this cup buddy. Before you know it he'll be asking about drugs. I'm not trying to be a dick, but don't be surprised if he starts talking to the other kids at school about it and it gets around to the teacher.



"It's for the doctor."



:uhno:

Not worth it.

/dad


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Invisiblepineninja
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23381664 - 06/25/16 06:11 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Yes sort of..When i was about 17 and working part time my father rocked up to where i worked with a pop top juice bottle and a sly look on his face. He asked me if i could piss in it as he had been told he needed to undergo a test for a job he had just got quite a lateral thinker and whilst this was the first and only time it was not surprising. So i filled it and he went away. The next day he told me the doc stood behind him as he "pissed" so couldn't see the pop top down his pants the sound and action were perfect he said only issue was when he handed the cup to the doctor because it was cold, no problems though passed with flying colours.:bigblunt:


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Just a fool on the hill.


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: pineninja] * 1
    #23381675 - 06/25/16 06:16 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Fucking Australia and their drug testing for work, it's almost par for the course these days. Now there's all this "random" roadside drug testing as well. The SJW's are turning the place into a right wing state.


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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23381736 - 06/25/16 06:33 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
Quote:

psi said:
Quote:

XLCaps said:
How exactly do you explain that to your kid? Oh just pee in this cup buddy. Before you know it he'll be asking about drugs. I'm not trying to be a dick, but don't be surprised if he starts talking to the other kids at school about it and it gets around to the teacher.



"It's for the doctor."



:uhno:

Not worth it.

/dad



I'm a dad too and would never involve myself in such a situation in the first place, but really why would that go any further if it got back to the teacher?


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: psi]
    #23381785 - 06/25/16 06:47 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Because people are nosy and judgemental as fuck, especially when it comes to kids. I get that there's a huge possibility nothing would come of it, I'm just lookin' out.


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23381807 - 06/25/16 06:53 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah I was just trying to give an example of an explanation that sounded fairly plausible in response to your saying "how do you explain that to your kid", I think we both agree that it would not be a good idea at all to actually do that.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Northerner]
    #23382106 - 06/25/16 08:38 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Northerner said:
Fucking Australia and their drug testing for work, it's almost par for the course these days. Now there's all this "random" roadside drug testing as well. The SJW's are turning the place into a right wing state.



Tell me more about these roadside drugs tests please man. What do they pick up on?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineMississippiChris
Technician-I-Am
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23382334 - 06/25/16 09:47 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
How exactly do you explain that to your kid? Oh just pee in this cup buddy. Before you know it he'll be asking about drugs. I'm not trying to be a dick, but don't be surprised if he starts talking to the other kids at school about it and it gets around to the teacher.

To answer the OP, I'll probably never take a drug test. :cookiemonster:



He is only 4. He thinks its a game. I just sit on the toilet and throw a big cup in the shower drain. I wont let it continue that long. Besides its been like 3 times ive had to do it. Been at my job for seven years. I do know I cant continue it forever however.


--------------------
What the human race is suffering from, is mass hypnosis.


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23382353 - 06/25/16 09:53 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Northerner said:
Fucking Australia and their drug testing for work, it's almost par for the course these days. Now there's all this "random" roadside drug testing as well. The SJW's are turning the place into a right wing state.



Tell me more about these roadside drugs tests please man. What do they pick up on?



Weed, speed and ecstasy. They've really started ramping it up in the last couple of years and plan to quadruple the testing in the next 2 years. The worst thing about it is they set up roadblocks outside of festivals and test everyone going in and out. Heavy penalties too, 3-5k in fines and lost licence for a year, plus a criminal record. No longer safe to smoke weed, they'll still get you days later in one of these tests. There's a regular "war on drugs" happening in NSW and Qld. It's driving the whole thing underground, there's a hell of a lot more secret parties going on that are never advertised and held on private properties where they deny the cops entry. The big festivals are all fucked now, drug squads with dogs and shit searching everyone as they try to get in, undercovers wandering around everywhere trying to buy drugs inside. Fucking heavy narcs.

Drugs are bad, m'kay?


--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Northerner]
    #23382419 - 06/25/16 10:17 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Oh fuck me. I didn't realise it was that bad. How the fuck are you supposed to enjoy a festival with that shit going on?

You sure it's only those three drug types? The ones here do seven, but they don't seem to be as overzealous with them as your lot. Yet, at least.

Amphetamine
Benzodiazepine
Cocaine
Methamphetamine
Methadone
Opiates
Cannabis (THC)


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23382474 - 06/25/16 10:40 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah, I'm sure that's what they're testing for, the police site says so.

I don't go to big festivals and I don't take those 3 drugs. Smaller parties with just a couple of hundred people are better anyway. Generally just stick with acid, GHB and ketamine... They're my holy trinity.


--------------------
The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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InvisiblePlain
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Northerner]
    #23382609 - 06/25/16 11:56 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I have a few times.


When i was really little my parents had me piss in a cup and gave me 10$ for mt dad to pass a drug test i didnt know then but im happy to know momma was a ride or die

When i was young i thought my parents were gonna drug test me and i had my sober friend piss in a little bowl that had a top on it and hid it in my pants (never had a backpack then) leaked on my legs and it was one of the most uncomfortable feelings ive had.

I also just bought fake pee up at a head shop amd when i did my test came back clean quicker than usual it seems

I cleaned up for awhile for a job and was about to take the first clean drug test using my urine ever and the night before i took one vic and had a few beers and didnt know the next day i was getting tested.

The whole day i drank water nonstop then my buddy told me to drink pom wonderful pomegranate juice and it was bad, very strong and bitter perhaps but kinda good. Then i drank gatorades, more anti oxidant drinks.

I went over board but took my test and PASSED
I was happy and celebrated by getting high of course.

I just lost a job over t3s i got mouth swabbed after quiting weed for over a month i was having back issues and asked my gma for a couple t3s and forgot that i would get tested or something idk but i didnt even think about it at all

I took the test all proud that i was gonna pass another drug test clean and i was getting trained when one day after work i got a call from the drug test agency and they told me i tested positive for codiene

I was going through alot at the time my great gma who i lived with passed and alot of life shit

eventually the place fired me but they were genuinely bummed that they had to let me go because they were short handed and all no do is bust ass all day when i work.

Last time i can think of is one of the first times i got fried on cannabis it was devils night freshman year GREAT times

The next day my mom had me take a drug test and bit said the line or what have you would turn pink within five minutes if there is thc in your system

It turned red almost instantly, i was so proud.

Got grounded for a week then i was allowed to smoke from that point on


Sorry for the long post
didnt feel like starting a whole thread when all this is relevant here


--------------------
"You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

- Eckhart Tolle

“Everybody is ‘you’. Everybody is ‘I’. That’s our name. We all share that.”

- Alan Watts

"Cosmic apotheosis wears off quicker than Salvia"

- Rick Sanchez (voice of Justin Roiland)


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OfflineConnoisseur

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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Plain]
    #23386237 - 06/27/16 12:31 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I forgot to mention I voted Yes


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OfflineEquipto

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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23386756 - 06/27/16 06:51 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Twice with dilution methods and once with substitution, passed 3 for 3.


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OfflineFools Paradise
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Re: Have you ever? [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23387054 - 06/27/16 08:52 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Bought synthetic urine from a head shop a few years back to pass a test for job I really wanted but couldn't stop smoking in time. I passed but it was humiliating, walking like a penguin with a bottle between my legs. The lab tech looked surprise when I handed her the sample. I look rather straight laced. Had no doubt she could tell a fake sample from the real. But luckily her opinion didn't matter.

A friend from Colorado said his construction company started lying about the results, then stopped testing all together. Not enough people can pass to keep them in operation. Most companies I've worked for insist on a clean sample to get hired. But if you fail a random, they'll give you a probation time to get clean then test again. Too expensive to fire then rehire.


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I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery - Thomas Jefferson


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Registered: 06/20/16
Posts: 95
Re: Have you ever? [Re: Fools Paradise]
    #23387116 - 06/27/16 09:17 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

If you're asking if I've had another persons urine, in a condom tied around my dick, the answer is a solid yes.

:ashamed:


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