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remake


Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 4,178
Loc: South Africa
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Embarrassing Stories *DELETED*
#23372457 - 06/23/16 05:02 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Post deleted by FranniePilgrimReason for deletion: Reasons.
Edited by remake (06/23/16 06:00 AM)
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Embarrassing Stories [Re: remake]
#23372541 - 06/23/16 06:03 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Definitely don't care. Just keep at it brother! Build your confidence as and when you can.
IMO sexual ability comes from the strength of your desire to please your partner, rather than being some trait inherent to some people and not to others. I've slept with women that were terrible, and have a couple of promiscuous female friends who report back to me how terrible most men are. Men who are 'selfish/in a rush to the finish line' is the theme that seems most offputting to the women I know. Women who don't make effort or communicate well are the biggest turn off for me.
I'm generally very confident in my sexual ability, but I've had a few knocks over the years. Nerves on the first time with a girl I like (this doesn't happen if I don't really like the girl I'm with, i.e. FWB) pretty much guarantee ED on the first occasion (also, drugs & alcohol DON'T help), but I think it's mostly due to the fact that not knowing said woman's preferences, I don't feel certain that I'm gonna know how to push all the right buttons for her. Once I get to know her I'm fine; that's what really get's me off anyway - bringing my partner to the most intense pleasure I possibly can. A good, long blowjob comes a close second mind you.
I had a period where I was worried about how long I could last for a couple of years too, but I think that was because I lucked out at the fact that my first long term GF & I were so sexually compatible, and the next half dozen were just.. not. That messed with my head for a bit until I started to realise just how much womens sexual preferences vary compare to men's. A bit of a generalisation, but IMO it's night and day. Men are simple to please by comparison.
It's an easy thing to get worked up about as a male IMO. Most important thing is to keep free of stress, worry, and to be in the moment. Take your time. Also make sure your partner (especially if female) feels as relaxed as possible.
And also bear in mind some people are very compatible and others are just not. This is mitigated highly by the amount of love and connection you feel for the person you're with mind you. I've had far better 'physical' experiences with people I haven't loved deeply, but way, way, way, way better 'overall' experiences with someone I love deeply, even though the physical side wasn't as great as what I had before experienced.
Anyway, good luck brother, stay frosty, and, most importantly, have FUN!! Keep us updated too!!!
EDIT - As to the being free of the fear of rejection thing, I'd advise you to drop it like a rock. Rejection always hurts. Fear is a natural response, and the guys that seem like they don't fear it do deep down; they've just learned to master the fear. The first second fear is a primal response that is built into all males.
Ever heard that saying about how courage is not the absence of fear, just the mastery of it? Same thing applies here man.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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remake


Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 4,178
Loc: South Africa
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Thanks man!
My hometown is quite small and not a lot goes on around here, not to mention gossip spreads like a fucking disease, so I'm trying to keep on my toes, although I'm starting to care less and less about what people say - and trying to get a grip on my ego getting hurt - in terms of the rejection thing. But, I have a few parties in different cities coming up...So looking forward to that.
I have so much to learn about social interaction, its scary. I fear I might get punched a lot in the upcoming months - in other words - I have a lot of mistakes that need to be made and learned from. It feels as if my whole life has been passing me by.
But yes, thanks for your reply! Gave me some perspective and insight, as well as motivation to go for it even more. Will report back as soon as something groovy/messed up happens! Haha
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Embarrassing Stories [Re: remake]
#23372647 - 06/23/16 07:10 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Man, seriously, fucking enjoy it. Go wild. Have the time of your fucking life.
I was such a closed minded motherfucker at 22. So immature. I'm 32 now. I fucked up so much shit in my life for the next 5-6 years from where you are until I started to learn my lessons. I had a LOT of fun times back then though, never thought more than a week ahead; before life does that 'getting complicated' act it does for most after 30. You seem switched on, so keep with that shit man; it'll serve you so well.
Be prepared to change and grow at the drop of a hat, prepare to fuck up many a time, and don't go staring ahead at some distant future. Between now and your 30's is when the real, wild, irresponsible, I don't give a fuck fun should be IMO. You're just at the start of the adventure. Take it by the fucking balls man.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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remake


Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 4,178
Loc: South Africa
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Shit, thanks again dude! I can feel the energy rising up inside of me! Haha!
For so long, I did that "staring ahead at some distant future" thing. My Christian Afrikaner culture/heritage truly enforces it too.
So much judgement being thrown left and right from the "higher ups" (older generations) it's crazy...Actually got slapped once for telling a person at a bar I'm attracted to black girls too! WTF!
I'm starting to tear away from my upbringing and I can feel it.
For a long time I couldn't see this being the start of ANY adventure. University and my parents and myself made me want to lock onto the "future" so bad, but for now, I'm so excited with my feet hanging in the air! Taking a huge risk next year, leaving my job to teach English in South Korea (Inspired by the Americans, haha)...
And since I took my first hit of L last year it feels as if I have acquired a lifetime of experiences and eternity has been passing from then until now.
Actually told my dad the other day (more or less) : "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly!" Hahaha.
He's a really nice, loving and caring man. Which makes the urge to "cling" much worse in my opinion - because my reasons for "rebellion" (If one could even call it that) don't always feel/seem justified and I constantly feel as if I am in debt to owing up to his expectations - which is fucked up in some way I think - and the fact that other people have had terrible experiences with their parents made me feel like a "brat" in some sense, but I've learned to let those feelings subside.
I don't want to settle down like a lot of people my age around here are doing - finding "the one"/getting married/finding high-end jobs/buying homes/achieving "status" etc. etc. at 21-25! - if you can believe it - this is the norm for Afrikaans people...And I can see the problems this notion continuously causes in the long run.
Anyway, thanks for listening! Don't want to talk your ears off!
Edited by remake (06/23/16 08:20 AM)
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SoloTrip
Help Ever, Hurt Never


Registered: 12/30/14
Posts: 1,059
Loc:
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Re: Embarrassing Stories [Re: remake]
#23373152 - 06/23/16 10:11 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Get in where you fit in bro. I too so wish I could back to being 22 and capitalize on every opportunity I let go to waste because I was aloof insecure or whatever. I would have got shot down more too but that comes with the territory. It's like how Babe Ruth struck out so many times, when he wasn't hitting home runs.
"Thing is, I've never been rejected, 'cause I've never even really tried." You don't want this to be your last, dying thought.
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Edited by SoloTrip (06/23/16 10:15 AM)
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 14 days
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Re: Embarrassing Stories [Re: SoloTrip]
#23375060 - 06/23/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Why is it when you're inexperienced with people (women or otherwise) you feel its necessary to tell everyone everything? I've regretted opening my big fat mouth far more often than I've regretting staying quiet. It doesn't matter if its "That guy is an asshole" or "I'm a virgin," we love to run our yaps until we get bitten a few times. I work with a lot of people like 4-6 years younger than me (I'm 27) and they always ask me why I'm so quiet. I just laugh to myself because if they knew me 6 years ago they'd wonder why I never shut the fuck up. When I'm with a woman I like I still do it.
Almost every time I left my ex's place I'd just be beating myself up saying "Why did I say that?! Jesus, whats your problem, shut the fuck up asshole!"
And straight up, if some girl texted me that she was a virgin I'd turn tail too. Who the fuck wants that riding on their conscience forever? In retrospect I think my first only agreed to sleep with me because she was so horny at the time. I bet she regretted it like immediately after it was over. Or maybe shes the monster I'd like to believe she is and couldn't care less. Point being, I have zero interest in a virgin and would never sleep with one if I knew. When I told my first I was a virgin she hugged me and told me it was ok. I seriously would have lived in that hug forever if it meant not having to look at her face when we let each other go, fuck that was embarrassing. And I'm not easily embarrassed.
So in short keep your fucking yap shut. Girls can mostly talk enough for the both of you, no need to go confessing every fucking thing about yourself. Besides, makes you seem mysterious
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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remake


Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 4,178
Loc: South Africa
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Re: Embarrassing Stories [Re: bloodsheen]
#23375673 - 06/23/16 11:51 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Haha. Yeah man. Won't ever do it again! Hope you don't mind me sharing this stuff here though. Need a release!
Although, the way I tend to see it now - the more people assume and categorise you into little preconceived boxes of everything you "are" or "aren't", the more impact it has once you show them they were wrong about you! Not that anyone needs to prove anything to anyone though...
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: Embarrassing Stories [Re: remake]
#23379518 - 06/25/16 03:09 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Baby steps, dude. Sometimes it's not the words in your message, but the delivery that can turn a woman off.
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