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InvisiblehTx
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Registered: 03/27/13
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it's over
    #23365764 - 06/21/16 04:33 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

My girl and I of two years are over.

Its been two nights now..
I stayed strong the first night, but the past few hours have me an emotional wreck.

I didn't think it would hurt this bad.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365781 - 06/21/16 04:41 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Losing someone you love hurts like no other



I'm sorry is all I can say and that you will come to terms with it

I've been there


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365784 - 06/21/16 04:42 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

My heart goes out to you man, I know this pain so well. Hold tight brother, you've got a long road of suffering and recovery ahead of you and a fuck ton of ups and downs. I've been up and down more times in the past year since I lost my wife to alcoholism than I've been in the dozen years before.

I'll say one thing for it though; I'm 10x the man I was before I went through the pain. I've learned more than I could ever have imagined about myself, about others, and about the nature of true love.

Somehow, it's worth it. I don't know how, and I fucking wish it didn't hurt so much, and that I didn't resort to such destructive habits to deal with my pain at times (alcohol, amphs, opiates) and give up the things that help (gym, meditating, eating well, socialising, reading) so readily when I'm in pain, but I'm just starting to come out of it and realise that actually, it really was for the best. I was chasing a dream that was not meant to be; and life took it all away from me - Wife, dog, house, job, gym, friends. It kicked my ass, cause, I guess, it knew better than I did that I was following a path that was not the right path for me.

Since a new dream has grown to take the place of that one I have been able to start properly healing. I'm bringing the good habits back again, and they help so much. It'll come man. Give yourself time and space and please don't go too hard on yourself. Maybe this was for the best for you too.

My thoughts are with you brother, hit me up if you wanna talk more anytime. Sending love your way.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: it's over [Re: hTx] * 1
    #23365785 - 06/21/16 04:44 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

It's okay to grieve man, let it out.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: it's over [Re: SunnyD]
    #23365790 - 06/21/16 04:46 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I think I will.
And in a lot of ways, I know my life will be better without her.

But fuck, its weird losing your best friend/lover so quickly.

I broke up with her too...but I miss her and I am afraid it is too late to get back together.

Gonna spend this newfound loneliness to reconnect with my self and friends.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365793 - 06/21/16 04:48 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Can always give me a holler brother if you want to talk to ol' CJ.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: it's over [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23365800 - 06/21/16 04:56 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I feel I am / was on a similar path.

I've never thought of myself as the type to really settle down until i met her, and even than, it seemed as if it wasn't really me, you know, the whole wife, kids, house, dog comment really resonates.
I was there though, and I was making it work and was really looking forward to our future.

After our son died, almost a year ago, it was as if that life I built was ripped right from under me.

With her gone now, it feels that way again.

But I also feel, with time, i may eventually see this as wisest decision of my life.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: it's over [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #23365807 - 06/21/16 05:05 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicJoke said:
Can always give me a holler brother if you want to talk to ol' CJ.



Thanks man, and thank you jokeshop.

I'm glad to know I still have some people who care around here still.

I'm afraid this will cause me to slip into major depression again, however, there are some good things going on which eases the burden of these emotions I carry.

I think I will be alright.
I know i will.

Im in a new city with a new job, and plenty of time now to reconnect with old friends whom I neglected for the sake of my relationship with her.
I look forward to moving past thos , hopefully without any questionable decision-making.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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InvisibleCitizen X
Call me Pepper,,
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Re: it's over [Re: SunnyD]
    #23365815 - 06/21/16 05:12 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SunnyD said:
Losing someone you love hurts like no other



I'm sorry is all I can say and that you will come to terms with it

I've been there



I didn't know how deeply I could feel until I felt that pain. It is a hurt like no other but this to shall pass. Sorry


--------------------


Rate me here


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365817 - 06/21/16 05:12 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

hTx said:
I've never thought of myself as the type to really settle down until i met her, and even than, it seemed as if it wasn't really me, you know, the whole wife, kids, house, dog comment really resonates.
I was there though, and I was making it work and was really looking forward to our future.



LOL, you and me both brother. I was literally less than a month away from sealing the deal on buying a £380,000 house when it happened. Would've left me in debt for the rest of my life most likely. But just like you I was looking forward to the future I had set my sights on.

And now, my dream that existed before that new one took over is coming to to the surface from wherever it's been buried for so long; opportunities have come up for me to move to Australia, potentially build my own house on a farm that's in the family, work the land, have a dog by my side all day long, not be in debt the rest of my life, spend a few years working in Melbourne first (and who knows what'll happen there) and potentially retire from all this shit before I hit even 50 and be self sustaining - just like I always dreamed of before I met 'the one'.

One door closes, another opens right?

Never seems that clear at the time, but what the fuck does when we've got all these thoughts and emotions constantly flooding our heads every waking minute of every waking hour?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
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Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365822 - 06/21/16 05:15 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Stay strong my friend:heart:

The emotional pain will linger for quite a long time but eventually you will move on

I doubt you'll ever forget about her or stop missing her depending on how close you two were but there will come a time when you will be able to accept that she's gone and you will be better off for it

I've been single for over 3 years and yeah I still miss having someone to cuddle with sometimes but for the most part being a lone wolf definitely has its advantages.. True freedom being paramount among them

I hope my advice helps a bit, I just woke up so I'm still a bit loopy but maybe I can come up with something better after I have some coffee in my system


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365824 - 06/21/16 05:16 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

hTx said:
I look forward to moving past thos , hopefully without any questionable decision-making.



One of the best lessons I've learnt it all this is not to beat myself up when I do. We really are our own worst enemies at times. You're probably gonna make some bad decisions, but so what, with that much pain to deal with you deserve to do so. Just keep reaching for the skies when it gets real dark man!!!


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: it's over [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23365840 - 06/21/16 05:26 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

In some way , i feel there is some greater reason for all my trials.
Sorry if I wax spiritual here but,
its like the universe has put all of these experiences in my life in such a short amount of time for a purpose.

My struggle these past five years or so, has been incredibly diverse, tribulations across a vast range of human emotion and experience..
I have lost so much and felt much pain...

Its really forced me to grow up and mature as a person..
I feel that this is another instance where I am being called to mature and grow..its sort of crazy..
Not even a month ago I began having this feeling like my progression has stagnated and here I am, put into another situation that is forcing me move.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: it's over [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #23365846 - 06/21/16 05:31 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

OhMrJohnson said:
Stay strong my friend:heart:

The emotional pain will linger for quite a long time but eventually you will move on

I doubt you'll ever forget about her or stop missing her depending on how close you two were but there will come a time when you will be able to accept that she's gone and you will be better off for it

I've been single for over 3 years and yeah I still miss having someone to cuddle with sometimes but for the most part being a lone wolf definitely has its advantages.. True freedom being paramount among them

I hope my advice helps a bit, I just woke up so I'm still a bit loopy but maybe I can come up with something better after I have some coffee in my system



We were inseparable for two years.

I think your right..it's going to sting for awhile..especially because of how it ended, although that how is the why, if you know what I mean.
I think I need to go out or something this weekend, home alone tonight was a bad idea.
I can't sleep, I keep wanting to cry hysterically, I go back and forth between remaining strong, then freaking out..

Ugh.
One day at a time brothers.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365856 - 06/21/16 05:38 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

When me and my girlfriend (soulmate more like) finally split up after being together for years on end I was an emotional wreck for a very, very long time

I guess in a way I still kinda am cause I don't really trust females at all anymore after what she did to me, which I know is a bit over-the-top but I can't change how I feel about it or why/how I came to feel that way.. It's a very long story but in the end she betrayed me, and to be honest I never really got over it, I kinda just threw dirt over the whole thing and tried to forget about it for a while which opened up a whole new can of worms for me but that's a whole nother story entirely

But anyway just try not to beat yourself up over it man.. Bad things tend to happen to good people but I consider hardship a vital part of the process to becoming a stronger individual


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: it's over [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #23365861 - 06/21/16 05:43 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks everyone, I am feeling better thanks to you all,
I feel i can finally sleep.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: it's over [Re: hTx]
    #23365889 - 06/21/16 06:02 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

hTx said:
Sorry if I wax spiritual here but,
its like the universe has put all of these experiences in my life in such a short amount of time for a purpose.



Never apologise for that man. There's fucking more going on in all this than meets the eye. I'm as SURE about that as it's possible for my feeble human mind to be truly sure of anything.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisibleplasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ

Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
Re: it's over [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23365917 - 06/21/16 06:19 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Ive been in love with 2 chicks. And both these cunts broke up with me.

Now them both want to get back together with me at the same exact time. Right now they are vying for my attention, love, and care.

Women are emotional roller coasters in themselves.

It sucked dicks when both these females left me in the dust. But in time they always come back if your relationship was worth anything at all


Edited by plasma (06/21/16 06:20 AM)


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