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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Sheekle]
#23361683 - 06/19/16 07:08 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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people are very draining for me
do some research online about how to not be awkward and appropriate polite conversation
i am from a fairly intellectual introverted family where we were not in the slightest bit socialized
from what i have gathered the absolute no goes of socializing are to never talk about religion, money, politics, sex, speak negatively about another person and complaining.
my anxiety prevented me from having conversations with pretty much anyone when i went to parties so i would just get really drunk and do stupid shit or sit and observe on the sidelines. it didnt help that i had crazy narcissist in my social circle who would shame me and make me look stupid in social situations i was already very uncomfortable in. glad i moved on from those scumbags.
I am pretty much a loner these days, but I can have a pretty deep conversation with anyone willing and can pretty much talk to anyone one on one.
i make a conscious effort to meet another person where they are at, and realize that I don't have to be right or be overly opinionated about anything.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Patlal]
#23361692 - 06/19/16 07:11 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I am a social butterfly.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Patlal]
#23361749 - 06/19/16 07:30 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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The age old advice to be oneself could never be more pertinent than when examining the ways in which we engage with others, for that is, in many ways, the test of our mettle. When one is alone, we always change a little bit, some wall of defense comes down, it's just me and the cosmos, baby.
But when you're around others, then we're sharing that space and moment, and we are aware of being perceived. Try to exude the happiness you feel when in your own space, because other people can't and shouldn't be able to stop that flow from within you.
When you exude happiness, or your natural state of being, then awkwardness becomes naught more than eccentricity, and eccentricity is the barometer of a healthy mind.
Think about it: in a free society, one of the threats to individual freedom ( and therefore the collective freedom ) is social conformity. Eccentricity is the deviation from social norms, but for the sake of exploration and discovery, i.e. the voyage into one's own. It takes courage to dare to be oneself, even at the risk of being judged and outcasted, but it's always worth it. Because we're not "weird", we are, in fact, quite normal, just perhaps unafraid to let our true colors show.
best of luck Patlal
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Alexestalex
fallen angel


Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
Loc: heart of the sun
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Patlal]
#23361834 - 06/19/16 08:00 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I find it very easy to make small talk with strangers.
The problem is, small talk is quite boring and utterly pointless most of the time.
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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Alexestalex]
#23361840 - 06/19/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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unless it gets you laid
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TheMovement
faeirie princess in training



Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: thelanzii]
#23362027 - 06/19/16 09:03 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Nemmies said: unless it gets you laid
Which is the point of most small talk. Initiate small talk with female --:> Initiate attraction phase --> courting phase-->sex sex sex
-------------------- Utwiddle.net In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one. BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT Join the Anarchy Camp! Down with Oppression!!
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TheMovement
faeirie princess in training



Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: thelanzii]
#23362033 - 06/19/16 09:04 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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A lot of the time I just awkwardly smile at people and lock eyes with them until they feel forced to talk to me. We become acquantances and convo flows freely
-------------------- Utwiddle.net In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one. BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT Join the Anarchy Camp! Down with Oppression!!
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Anahata


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 2,399
Last seen: 3 days, 9 hours
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Patlal]
#23362054 - 06/19/16 09:08 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I like your threads P cat.
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Mr. Magic


Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 1,951
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: TheMovement]
#23362062 - 06/19/16 09:10 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I am 100% man, great post. I feel you on all of that. It certainly does suck and seem to be weighed against us. I use drugs to cope sadly. Just kratom and etizolam, but yeah im still not happy about it.
Ive been through the cycle a million times now. Im back to wherei believe im just meant to be alone.
I typically dont enjoy most peoples company anyway. At least the people i see everyday i mean.
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Alexestalex
fallen angel


Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
Loc: heart of the sun
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: thelanzii]
#23362143 - 06/19/16 09:51 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Nemmies said: unless it gets you laid
Getting laid is a phone call away for me
Latina hookers ftw
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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Alexestalex]
#23362181 - 06/19/16 10:14 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel like giving black chicks a charity fuck sometimes, but then when I think about the ones that aren't prostitutes my mind is clear.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Konyap]
#23362376 - 06/19/16 11:36 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm a social outcast. By choice, not by circumstance. I don't like society in general.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so misanthropic, but it is what it is.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Dleucomelas
Mugwump



Registered: 06/15/15
Posts: 13
Loc: Interzone
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
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I feel for you. I used to be the same way. In the end I found that it's all about being around the right type of people. One poster mentioned feeling uncomfortable around people she found basic. That was the problem I had. I would want to talk about science or books or art...and everyone around me was gossiping about who screwed who or what football team was winning. I realized that I didn't want to fit in there and that if anyone should feel awkward it should be them for having nothing interesting or novel worth talking about...talking for the sake of talking. I think that if you get yourself around some like minded people the conversations will come much more naturally. I know the one poster was trying to help but turning to alcohol to make yourself feel better is habit forming and not healthy emotionally. Find people who you share interests with and I think you'll be fine.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Dleucomelas]
#23362694 - 06/20/16 02:56 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good post man. That's exactly how I deal with it. I have plenty of people I love and love talking with but if someone starts gossiping or judgemental talking of talking small talk for the sake of it I'm outa there pretty quick.
We debated this in PS&P recently:
Gossiping and establishing relationships.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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howsyournaggerdoin
Happy


Registered: 02/04/16
Posts: 1,600
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I only have a few very good friends but id trust them with my life in a heartbeat. It has always been like this for me. When people first meet me they usually hate my guts. It takes some time but once they get to know me we grow into very close friends. Its quite a disadvantage when trying to meet new people but at least it seems to filter the bad ones.
Although most people really dont like me i still go to all partys around here. Most of the friends that i do have are very popular and will always drag me along. I guess im kind of a social outcast but i love my life so it doesnt really matter.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Patlal]
#23362854 - 06/20/16 05:03 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
I read these stats that 70% of the population accept absolutely everybody.
Complete BS. Everybody has their limits unless there is something seriously wrong with them.
Outside of society, thats where you'll find me.
I wear the clothes they wear, shave, hair neatly cut, talk the talk but.
I'm an obese, gay, disabled, dissociatives-plugging, Nganga spirit worker learning Magic firsthand from African Voodoo spirits. Unflawed quartz crystals crack top to bottom right before me when I concentrate on a sober spirit journey, untouched silver tarnishes ferociously while that next to it that i handle often remains pristine. In a breeze free room candles go out single or in pairs at significant moments, and thats not even the big stuff.
I'm a raging outcast, my story is quite different than that of most. I embrace the wild side of life, for it accepts me whereas society tends to look the other way in discomfort.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: Are you a social outcast? [Re: Asante]
#23362873 - 06/20/16 05:23 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I think it's simply by nature that a large portion of this user base would at least somewhat identify that they are outcasts in some sense given that drugs are by and large a difficult topic for many given the stereotyping that comes with drug use.
This is changing though, and drugs are slowly becoming an easier topic to be open about. I've even been looked down upon by one of my sibling's husband and her friends because of my interests in psychopharmacology, and they do drugs all the time.
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