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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: I hate my life [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23388457 - 06/27/16 05:34 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Modest mouse I remember you saying almost exactly the same thing recently - that you had given up on quitting dope and had decided to just go with the addiction .

Did you since change your mind and quit heroin?

Also saying it's no harder than anything else isn't anymore helpful than saying it's impossible .

The reality is it is extremely difficult, harder then quitting almost any other thing, but still very possible  and like many difficult things, worth doing.

I congratulate you on getting off dope yourself .


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Everything I post is fiction.


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Offlinehex_enduction
satta massa gana
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: I hate my life [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23388481 - 06/27/16 05:42 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Modest has been off H for a while now IIRC but I remember when he said something similar to that, and my reaction was similar to what I said to conn just now :lol:

I truly hope all my WCA brothers struggling with opiate addiction are able to break past all the bullshit and escape. I have faith in all y'all.


--------------------


Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs

sunshine said:
Tragic.  I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: I hate my life [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23388503 - 06/27/16 05:50 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I've been clean
I once said something like I wasn't going to worry about my habit, not that I was going to amplify it. Y'all took it that way though, which make sense since that's how it seems.

Truthfully, letting go of the "this is an addicting substance I am under its spell and I must fight it" mindset helped me quit. Take it day by day and you'll find its easy. I just objectively reasoned that I was better off saving my money and relationship, possibly life! I then chipped a few times following the habit break, and didn't beat myself up over it but each time recognized that I was indulging and I could not follow it up with another dose in the near future.

Since then I haven't been doping up.


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: I hate my life [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23388517 - 06/27/16 05:54 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

:billymaythumbup:


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Offlinestzacrack
Stranger
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Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 3,871
Loc: United States
Last seen: 7 hours, 55 minutes
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur] * 1
    #23388545 - 06/27/16 06:01 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Connoisseur said:
I cant take it anymore, I was just up all night shooting heroin wishing I was dead



At least u had dope dude!


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: I hate my life [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23388554 - 06/27/16 06:03 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Well I am really happy for you and respect that you quit :cheers:

What you said at the time was something like "I have given up on trying to quit dope and am just going to stop worrying about it, the addiction is all in your head "

Which obviously seemed like straight up dope delusions but the way you explain it now makes sense.

It's definitely true that overestimating how addicted you are to something can make it much harder to quit.

Bitter cactus and his devestating Kratom withdrawals come to mind :

Having a positive outlook and faith you can do something will definitely make
It easier, and dreading it being horrifically hard will make it worse .


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineOthyem
Male


Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 1,935
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: I hate my life [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23388565 - 06/27/16 06:06 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I hate my life too. Not in an emotional way like you though, but in a chronic pain, illness sort of way. Shit, sucks but if you aren't going to kill yourself you may as well make the most of it. whatever that means for you.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: I hate my life [Re: Othyem]
    #23388596 - 06/27/16 06:14 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

What is the cause of your chronic pain and do you use opiates or anything else to manage it ?


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Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineOthyem
Male


Registered: 04/17/09
Posts: 1,935
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: I hate my life [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23388618 - 06/27/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I'm on norco and ativan. Norco doesnt really do much. Ulcerative colitis, gerd, and lyme are what give me pain at the moment. I started doxy, hopefully that takes care of the lyme and makes life a little more tolerable.


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InvisibleJean-guy Masta
Railyard Ghost
Male

Registered: 09/23/14
Posts: 1,827
Loc: MT-Hell
Re: I hate my life [Re: Othyem]
    #23388620 - 06/27/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

hey conn hope you stay with us, we like you here, dont go too cray cray on that binge

hate my life too, pain and mental illness and what it comes with

cant even smoke weed anymore because of anxiety and my illness. even benzos makes me feel worst, i mean fuck kill me already

makes me remember my first post here, saying how lame i was being a fuckin meth loser.

good memories


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OfflineCoacervate
Stranger
Male


Registered: 09/05/15
Posts: 166
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: I hate my life [Re: Jean-guy Masta]
    #23388708 - 06/27/16 06:49 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Conno I just "met" you. I'm nobody and cant say anything about your scene.  Know this, theres a shitload of folks pulling for you here.  that counts for something... a lot by my measure.  Sorry your going through this.  Just do not OD whatever else youre going for.

It sounds corny but my first thought was how much my pet cat and my fish, a pair of Oscars, are my best pals.  I even grew up a big assed cockroach to adulthood once.  I was so proud.  then my cat got her.  Rats.  heh


--------------------
What is now proved was once only imagin’d    -William Blake


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InvisibleBigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
Re: I hate my life [Re: stzacrack]
    #23388832 - 06/27/16 07:32 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

stzacrack said:
Quote:

Connoisseur said:
I cant take it anymore, I was just up all night shooting heroin wishing I was dead



At least u had dope dude!




What a stupid thing to say.


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: I hate my life [Re: Bigfeely123]
    #23388835 - 06/27/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

What an honest things to say.

Shit if I didnt have drugs I would be dead long ago, looking forward to the next shot gives me the little life I have left.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23388847 - 06/27/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

i hate liz


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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InvisibleBigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23388855 - 06/27/16 07:40 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Take the easy way out then. You'll always hate your life if you keep shooting up that garbage.


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23389042 - 06/27/16 08:39 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

You're a white male in America with Internet connection. Based on that alone there is no need to consider suicide.


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
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Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur] * 1
    #23389126 - 06/27/16 09:01 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Look I've never said this in the shroomery (even though I have wanted to with many people) but I personally care about you. I see tons of your personality in myself (at times). You have some willpower in there somewhere. My suggestion is don't get completely off of Heroin but take 2-3 days a week,take less heroin and excersise.  Because things you are saying is almost verbatim where I was last year mentally. I had all the dope in the world and still was miserable and wanted it all to end. Just small steps I've taken since then such as meeting more people,participating in shows/concert,experience,I've been genuinely happy (still opiate addicted but max 8mg a day of diluadid) considering I have legitimate pain to be addressed,I've been successful in College, loving more. Forgetting memories so much loss, overdose and death in my family,others families & My family ruined by deep depression and illness. It's still hard to live with very painful medical problems and barely any family left. However for the first time in my life I'm now getting good job offers and have a girlfriend a million times better then my cheating ex. I'm starting to love my life again but it looked to me that there was no other way out. It wasn't true.

I'm just trying to plead with you Con, take a small step and I promise you every time you are worried or anxious or need support You :pm: me. Hell I'll give you my personal # to help you get to a place where you have one thing you can say you have a passion for other then heroin. Like I said I can't detox you or break you're addiction and if I did say that you wouldn't listen because its pretensious and uninformed to think addiction is about will power and all that bs. Partially is ,however my point is I feel if you tried to connect with people,find a small hobby or favorite place to spend your day(s).

I just want you to be happier in life con,ur a good cat and you deserve it


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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InvisibleMike_yy
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur] * 1
    #23389140 - 06/27/16 09:06 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I hate my life too. Just keep getting up and brushing yourself off. Lay off the drugs if you're under a spot light. Take time to pick yourself up if need be. Manage yourself.


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: I hate my life [Re: Mike_yy]
    #23389164 - 06/27/16 09:14 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I need to get my head screwed back on straight but when I think of what im living for I realize its nothing and thus the motivation is lost


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: I hate my life [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23389185 - 06/27/16 09:19 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

If you imagine a scenario where you had a loving beautiful wife, and traveled the world, does that appeal to you? Would you want that?

Because if you wanted that, you could work towards that and make it happen.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Kraken Kratom Buy Kratom Powder & Leaf   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Capsules   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


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