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Anonymous #1
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Weird connection with married woman
#23356375 - 06/17/16 11:59 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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So theres this woman I work with that I get along with pretty well, but sometimes she says and does sorta...weird stuff.
Small backstory, she and her husband are kind of on the rocks, mostly because of his very autistic son and his bitchy baby momma. My coworker loves her stepson but hes very difficult to deal with, and the baby momma basically uses this poor kid as a pawn to fuck with their lives.
Anyway, I am very sympathetic toward her situation and having lived with a severely demented grandfather for a time I know what its like to a great degree. Lately I think that sympathy combined with her issues with her husband are making her have... wandering thoughts about me. Like, idk about anyone else here, but I've never told a coworker that I missed them when they were gone for a week. And today I swear she was making these really careful and a little quiet dirty jokes anytime I got near her.
I attract these people for some reason, not even kidding this happens to me all the time. I have a duel theory about this phenomena in my life. Firstly, when I know a girl is super not available, I'm more likely to be myself and seem more natural, which is a turn on for pretty much every human on earth. And secondly, I come off as very genuine, and when a person is in emotional distress they seem to gravitate toward that type of personality.
I kid you not, pretty well every girl I've ever attracted was either in a bad/shaky relationship or was fat. I guess that says something about the emotional stability of most overweight girls lol.
But yeah, first time with a married woman ...
If there was a class called "Change your vibe: a guide on how to appear as you choose with body language" I would be all over that shit
I suppose its only fair to mention that its hard not to toss some of it back her way. I like her as a person and I find her attractive, basically the only two ingredients necessary to make a spark. I'm never openly flirty cause thats just fuckin trashy, but she is really starting to push the boundaries IMO
Idk, I've been told by lots of people that they think its fine to flirt as much as you want as long as deep down you have no intention of ever doing anything, but I would challenge that person to agree to show their spouse a video of some of the things they had said to that person. I'd wager most people would not be cool with that.
TL;DR -- Married woman I work with is throwing mad vibes my way and its hard to ignore them
Thoughts on any of this?
Edited by Anonymous (06/18/16 12:07 AM)
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1] 4
#23356412 - 06/18/16 12:17 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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She's probably pushing the boundaries because she wants attention from a guy, perhaps she is not getting the proper attention she needs at home, thinks you're attractive, and likes the attention you give her.
I bet you're younger than her beau, so that's a turn on for her, you know because people like to still know they can get a younger girl/guy, gives someone great confidence to still feel attractive.
But if she is stressed out, then of course she is going to seek release in other people, could be sexual release, could just be talking, who knows how far she will go, but if she is making raunchy jokes, then she might be willing to go all the way and cheat, which I am not condoning, it's not my life though so do as thou wilt.
-------------------- ©️
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Lucis]
#23358891 - 06/18/16 06:27 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said: She's probably pushing the boundaries because she wants attention from a guy, perhaps she is not getting the proper attention she needs at home, thinks you're attractive, and likes the attention you give her.
I bet you're younger than her beau, so that's a turn on for her, you know because people like to still know they can get a younger girl/guy, gives someone great confidence to still feel attractive.
But if she is stressed out, then of course she is going to seek release in other people, could be sexual release, could just be talking, who knows how far she will go, but if she is making raunchy jokes, then she might be willing to go all the way and cheat, which I am not condoning, it's not my life though so do as thou wilt.
They weren't raunchy jokes as much as just...suggestive. We work in a restaurant, I was making something that she thought looked good and she was like "We should just find a corner, get a couple of beers, and eat the shit out of that." Then later she was actually making growls and cat noises at "the food."
Overall though I think you are probably right. We are just about the same age, I might be a little younger, but I think the principle is the same. Not sure if I should feel flattered, appalled, aroused, or annoyed by it. I can't even get a date with anyone so to a degree I guess I'm doing the same thing with her, I just don't have a spouse to offend/hurt.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23361691 - 06/19/16 07:10 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Have you ever watched Star Trek: TNG? If you have, then good you'll know what I mean when I say just act like Commander Data around her. Or even better, act like C3PO from Star Wars. If you act like a slightly effeminate android whose sole purpose is to provide others with highly detailed information, then I'm sure she will no longer think about the mutual heat shared by the proximity of your loins.
This could, however, backfire, by making you seem like a genius. However, all things considered, I find that many people in America are turned off by brainiacs. Maybe this is due to something like the high school struggle between athletes and the nerds, but I'm sure that's just a silly explanation for something much more complex. Perhaps it is the nature of thought, and that if one is so immersed in thought, then they will not have the primal energy required for profound love making. Are people attracted to sexual prowess above all things in a mate?
Anyways...
A better idea would be to filter out your flirtatious responses entirely, and just be yourself. Hopefully her marriage smooths out and she can help that kid grow into his own. If it really pisses you off when she flirts, just say something like "hey! you're married! Why are you flirting with me?"
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2shoes
The anti-agar



Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Chakra Shock]
#23363009 - 06/20/16 07:06 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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OP it seems to me your interested in what she has to offer or you'd just stay platonic an sweep any suggestive comments under the rug. I'm not here to judge but a good way to see what she's about is to ask if she'd like to join you for a drink. Wait till you've both had a long day and ask. Plan on just talking and don't hit on her or anything. Maybe she's just looking for someone to confide in or maybe she has an itch that needs scratching you'll at least know based on how it goes. You can always say your talking to someone which is why getting physical isn't an option if it goes down that road.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: 2shoes]
#23363985 - 06/20/16 02:36 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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This all seems kind of over-complicated to me. Personally, I'd just keep doing what I was doing and wait to worry about the romance stuff until she says something that's to straightforward to be misinterpreted. If she's really interested then she'll make it obvious at some point.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#23364619 - 06/20/16 06:18 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr.GuessWork said: This all seems kind of over-complicated to me. Personally, I'd just keep doing what I was doing and wait to worry about the romance stuff until she says something that's to straightforward to be misinterpreted. If she's really interested then she'll make it obvious at some point.
There you go. Spot on IMO. I've missed seeing the lucidity of your posts round here M.GW.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#23364639 - 06/20/16 06:26 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've been done this road. I am infamous on this forum for fucking around with a married woman and getting my heart broke. So please take what I say to heart.
DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Period!
It's nothing but a bunch of fucking drama and you might even end up dead.
She probably isn't getting her needs met by her man and she is looking for someone else to fill those needs. If she has history with this man, no matter what she says, she will never leave him.
She probably deep down wants to use someone to get back at her husband. To make him jealous and make him start acting right. But in the process you might make him jealous enough he will try to kill you! BELIEVE ME. I probably escaped death myself.
You prolly won't wanna believe me, but don't try to experience because i've been there. And it nearly killed me..
There are plenty of single women out there. It's just not worth it man. Don't fuck her. Don't show her any attention. Disengage and get out while you still can. It's a trap. Don't fall for it.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: JustForToday]
#23365419 - 06/20/16 11:55 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Take that advice and don't pursue. It's fine to flirt at work if you're not making people uncomfortable, and you sound like a huge flirt anyway even if you don't realize it. She sounds too wrapped up in trouble to be worth it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Black_Sunset]
#23365673 - 06/21/16 02:47 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Black_Sunset said: Take that advice and don't pursue. It's fine to flirt at work if you're not making people uncomfortable, and you sound like a huge flirt anyway even if you don't realize it. She sounds too wrapped up in trouble to be worth it.
Lol, the part I bolded is a very strange thing to say about someone. If a girl has any interest in me at all I'm mostly just confused, so I suppose in that sense I'm not overly careful with my signals. Basically I just say whatever I want but I choose carefully to whom and where I say it.
Its a moot point anyway, shes quitting at the end of the week. Found out right after I made this thread. Problem solved!
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23365680 - 06/21/16 02:52 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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She may have told you she is quitting just to gauge your reaction....
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: pineninja] 1
#23366540 - 06/21/16 10:58 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
pineninja said: She may have told you she is quitting just to gauge your reaction....
Lol, no she is def quitting. She has another job, something she'd been hoping to get for awhile
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23367334 - 06/21/16 04:13 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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follow your heart OP
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: follow your heart
Best advice in any situation where another human is concerned.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Still_tripping
Lord yes!


Registered: 10/07/15
Posts: 747
Loc: A small hot country
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#23369137 - 06/22/16 06:23 AM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Do you really think you are just an innocent being put upon by these needy women? I think you should look a little more closely at how you interact with them, after all it takes two to tango.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Still_tripping said: Do you really think you are just an innocent being put upon by these needy women? I think you should look a little more closely at how you interact with them, after all it takes two to tango.
So I'm supposed to be equally careful with my words/signals as someone who is taken even though I'm not in a relationship? Its pretty easy for a girl to subtly tell you she's taken and totally not interested. Hell this girl I work with that I know nothing about obviously blew me off a couple times even though from the outside everything she did/said was perfectly polite. I like talking to pretty girls, if that makes me some kind of cheater-bait than so be it
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23370664 - 06/22/16 05:45 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Still_tripping said: Do you really think you are just an innocent being put upon by these needy women? I think you should look a little more closely at how you interact with them, after all it takes two to tango.
So I'm supposed to be equally careful with my words/signals as someone who is taken even though I'm not in a relationship? Its pretty easy for a girl to subtly tell you she's taken and totally not interested. Hell this girl I work with that I know nothing about obviously blew me off a couple times even though from the outside everything she did/said was perfectly polite. I like talking to pretty girls, if that makes me some kind of cheater-bait than so be it
That part I bolded, that's bullshit. I just had something happen to me today. I stop by the gas station where I used to work. This hot white girl was in there with her boyfriend getting coffee at the dunking donuts. She comes over to pay for a store item while i'm standing at the counter talking to my ex co worker. She says, "Your eyes are really beautiful." I said, "Well you are beautiful." She blushes and smiles, and walks back over to her boyfriend.. I could have easily pounced on that shit and got her number right there but I done been down this road. never ever a fucking gain.. Yep. What you say is invalid my friend.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23384730 - 06/26/16 05:12 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ugh, her other job fell thru so shes gonna stay for awhile.
You know what the weirdest part is? I noticed today that she doesn't really make much of an effort to talk to me, like small talk, yet half of the shit she says is either suggestive or said about 8 inches too close to me. I think if I met a girl who was like 17 who acted this way toward me I'd have the same reaction. Like yeah I want it, but fuck that is just not cool in any way
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23388451 - 06/27/16 05:32 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
pineninja said: She may have told you she is quitting just to gauge your reaction....
Lol, no she is def quitting. She has another job, something she'd been hoping to get for awhile
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Weird connection with married woman [Re: pineninja]
#23389243 - 06/27/16 09:42 PM (7 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
pineninja said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
pineninja said: She may have told you she is quitting just to gauge your reaction....
Lol, no she is def quitting. She has another job, something she'd been hoping to get for awhile

Haha, fuck you man!
Come on, staging quitting your job to see how some random guy that you barely knows reacts would be some epic level insanity. Id sooner believe she made up her entire situation at home, thats just totally bonkers
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