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Anonymous #1

Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed *DELETED*
    #23345888 - 06/15/16 03:07 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: ------------deleted-----------------


Edited by Anonymous (10/25/17 01:17 AM)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23346023 - 06/15/16 05:16 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Hang in there brother. There's friends to be found on the Shroomery for a start, I've made some great ones here. I empathize with your situation though. I wanna type more but need to sleep, I'll get back to you tonight.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineSpiritwithin
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Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #23346072 - 06/15/16 06:10 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

A good way to start feeling better is to start little.
Really, do some push ups every other day for example. You'll notice right from the start that something is improving.
Try to eat healthy food.
Take tiny little steps, one after the other. Accept your present present life-situation as it is now and use it as a step-stone to tiny improvements.
Good luck to you!


--------------------
Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.


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Offlineshitakigirl
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Registered: 06/10/16
Posts: 43
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Spiritwithin]
    #23346654 - 06/15/16 10:01 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Depression sucks that is for certain.

Unfortunately, nothing anyone tells you is going to change things until you are ready to change.  Trust me - I've asked everyone for advice and nothing stuck.  I bought courses and coaching - nada.

The only thing that works is what Spiritwithin just said above.  Start doing little things to make your life better.  At first the smaller the better.  Dust off your television - I bet it's dusty.  :smile:  Congratulate yourself for the small win and do a happy dance.  I'm serious.

Soon your mind will start liking the happy dance more than it likes the rewards of avoidance.  Right now your brain thinks that by doing nothing (watching TV is nothing) you are avoiding some sort of pain.  It's bullshit the pain is right where you are now.

And dude - if you are working 60 hours a week and not making enough to pay your bills your bills are too high and your job sucks.  Less is more.  Start looking at little business ideas that you can do in the time you are now using for TV. They exist. 

Hope this helps - it may sound a bit like tough love but it comes from a place of empathy. 

Cheers


--------------------
Yeah!  I know.... Einstein couldn't spell either.


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OfflineViol
sassy frassy lassie
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Registered: 10/16/13
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Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: shitakigirl]
    #23349452 - 06/16/16 12:54 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

My biggest concern is what your options will be once you are laid off. Have you looked for other jobs? Working 60 hours a week is outrageous. I hope you can find something better.

With such a shitty work schedule, it's no wonder you don't have time for anything else. Watching TV though, I would definitely skip that. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, with no social life or intimate relationships, but it's no reason to get down in the dumps. I still get out and do things, even if I'm always alone. My favorite thing to do lately is cruising. I stick to the county highways and backroads for the most part. Beautiful scenery with my music playing loud, you can't beat that. It's a wonderful way to reflect, out there in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by endless trees and forest. I wish I could park my car sometimes and just venture out and explore, but I'm not so sure how practical that would be.

Obviously it's kind of a downer once I'm back in the city and have to face my reality, but I know that despite all the shit I am going through, there's always someone in a much worse position than myself. That's probably not very comforting, but I hope things will look up for you soon. You're so young, and full of promise and potential, so please don't give up. Not without a fight.

If you ever need someone to listen, I am here to offer you any guidance and support that I can. Hugs to you, OP.


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OfflineTrippedytrip
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Viol]
    #23349686 - 06/16/16 03:10 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Same here feel very shitty.

I got DP from Smoking Weed/Stressfull Job/Anxiety.
I was in the state from the 3rd eye perspective 3 months.
Finally got into a kinda episode of psychosis and messed up.
I am on week 2,5 now without weed i cant hold it longer.

I have checked all the troubles out wich it has taught me from my past because i was someone who when smoking tought a lot over the past and how i could change that.

My mind is now racing with stupid toughts from a child and i cant stay that no more, i am 19 have my job my friends etc.
Im doing either sport or going walking once a day , extremely tired no force.

Did talk therapy with psychologist and corporal work to place my inner force inside my body again (I can highly recommend that)

I just feel i have advanced 4 steps in the week but then it goes back 2 steps and depression comes in or anxiety. Just want to live normal damn!

I think by smoking i could control my mind and create a conscious part of myself and not commiting errors i did in thinking back and controlling stupid thoughts.

What do you think about that?
Should w8 ?
I am now 3 weeks i kinda got out of that psychosis life but i feel i have advanced 10 steps in total and i think smoking would help me go out from there 2x faster.

Has anyone experienced the same ?
Thanks brahs

Your post is also very interesting up there


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Posts: 26,088
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #23349875 - 06/16/16 05:53 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Man, I feel you on so many levels with this conundrum. I know I'm only gonna basically repeat what everyone else has said but I'm gonna lay it out a little differently. I've been in a very similar state to you for the last year of my life and being the inherent analyst I am, I have tried to figure out the pattern that keeps me in this state over many times over since I first experienced it with any clarity, at about your age. That was 11 years ago and I've been up 'n down plenty 'o times since then (mostly up), along with making and breaking all the addictions along the way. Never worse than at the present time in my life though.

The downward spiral seems to go something like this:

Loneliness -> Depression -> Apathy -> Worsening of depression and faith in oneself -> Further Apathy -> Go back to the start, but with the loneliness increased, as you don't even have yourself to depend on any more.

I think that's why the common theme in this thread is start with baby steps; cause it's the opposite of the downward spiral - the upward spiral. Keep that fucker going long enough and it gains power, in the same way the downward one goes:

Change a small habit -> Build a little discipline & Faith in yourself -> Change a more life effecting habit (i.e. diet) -> Feel a little better -> Add a mood lifter into your routine (i.e. meditation or exercise) -> Mood & confidence lift -> Add another healthy habit, gain further confidence in oneself -> Get yourself out there and meet some people -> Go back to the start.

I went through all the relocation stuff about 5x before I was 20. I do a lot of solitary shift work, and since a corporate takeover I've realised my job goes against everything I stand for. My wife had to go to rehab 10 months ago after spiralling completely downwards to the point of becoming frequently suicidal; I'm honestly not sure if there is a future for us, and she was 'the one'. The sale of the house we were gonna buy fell through. My gym where I knew everyone shut down (that was the straw that broke the camels back). I've watched my life crumble around me. And to top it off, I've resigned myself to go and start life as a farmer with a cousin in Australia, which is gonna mean relocating to Melbourne first until I earn enough to make a go of working with the land, as I feel I should.

So I've been bouncing off the walls of this big 'ol house we were gonna buy which we were renting (and without her input it's crippling me financially), have to be out in 1.5 months and there's still so much to do. The stress is merging with the depression I'm doing back at the stimulants again to cope (the wrong way); I'm seeing people less and doing less of the good things that I know would start to bring me back up.

So, I'm now on the 2nd day of the upward spiral. Again. Cut the drugs as been on the downward a few months now, drug use worsening etc. Before that, was on the upward a month or so. I'll probably fall down again at some point. I've been up and down more frequently over the past year than I have over the dozen that came before. I think the moral of the story here is don't stop trying. You'll roll with the upward for long enough soon that life will taste sweet again, then you just gotta master staying with it. I know, as much as I know the backs of the hands that type this, that there is a tipping point to recovery.

The most important things to work on in order IMO:

1. Self Discipline (reward yourself after exercising it at the start, as suggested above)
2. Exercise
3. Clean diet
4. Meditation

Once you got those fuckers nailed down, then you just gotta find some place that your kinda people hang. Being a biker myself, with the long hair, tattoos and muscles that seem to become a part of life when you find that niche, I found myself a bikers pub that I could hit on my way home on a Friday night. First night I stopped, I was talking with a pretty girl after 5 minutes after she flashed a warm smile back at the one I sent her way when our eyes met. Spent the next 4 hours talking with her and all the people in the crowd she was with. Subsequent visits found me befriending a regular of the joint; an old school gangster type - just my kinda guy - I have a real affection for people who cannot be shocked. Soon I'm being introduced to all sorts of people. I could've easily made good friends there but in the downward spiral I stopped going. I'll pick it up again soon enough.

Before that, my gym. Met one of the most amazing humans I've ever met there, but since it shut down I hardly see him. I used to have a bunch of friends there. I've found a new one, but it's gonna take time to get to know people, and the fact that I haven't been going recently cause of the downward aint helping.

My three best friends have spread further round the country and spend most of their time with their families, and what with working loads of weekends and always having a list of shit to do, along with the apathy, I feel the drift between us occurring.

So, like I said at the start, I've said nothing that hasn't already been said really. I've just fleshed it out a little.

Take small steps, build the energy and the discipline, keep at it, and it WILL get to a point where the forward motion builds enough to carry you. Don't worry if you slip backwards for a while, don't beat yourself up if you do. Just get back to it. Then go and find some spots where the kinda people you enjoy hang out. Go and sit by yourself until you get chatting with someone. It will happen.

Once your heading in the right direction, staying true to yourself and valuing your instincts, life will bring you those who align with your truths and values. Have faith brother, and stay strong. Loneliness can be a crushing experience. You'll either find yourself at peace in your own company, which is by its very nature empowering, or find those who empower you by their presence sooner or later.

Kinda gives you faith that everyone in this thread knows the pattern up by heart don't it? We've all been there man. That dark hole. You just gotta go so fucked off with it that you force that first grab for bottom rung of the ladder out of it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23349923 - 06/16/16 06:34 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Try and stay positive brother. Hey what about some Internet chat or dating sites? I know you don't have a lot of money or time but let's be honest, 7 out 10 are in the same boat!

You have to stay positive though, and are you looking hard for a job now? If you know it's coming you've got to try and get ahead of the problem

Also, have you thought about moving closer to your family? Maybe you should consider that?

I hope to hear you're doing better soon, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I will check back on you here real soon.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk ever.

We're here and we're your friends


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Citizen X]
    #23352687 - 06/16/16 09:44 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Anon 1 please check in and let us know how you're getting along.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed *DELETED* [Re: Citizen X] * 1
    #23352741 - 06/16/16 10:06 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: ------------deleted-----------------


Edited by Anonymous (10/25/17 01:17 AM)


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23352760 - 06/16/16 10:11 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I hear you bro. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Will check in soon  :aliendance:


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Offlineshitakigirl
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Registered: 06/10/16
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Citizen X]
    #23355358 - 06/17/16 04:35 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Oh yeah - and what Citizen X said is great advice.

Stop putting pressure on yourself.  Learn to relax through it all.  Because none of it is permanent - you can create a new life in an instant.

This may sound weird but enjoy feeling down.  Relax into it.  When you feel like being lazy enjoy it.  Bring more joy into all parts of your life - the good and the bad.

Guilt only makes things worse.  Forget it.  Leave it by the side of the road.  It isn't going to help you change.

But joy on the other hand?  It spurs you on - it makes room for possibility.

:smile:


--------------------
Yeah!  I know.... Einstein couldn't spell either.


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: shitakigirl]
    #23356682 - 06/18/16 03:10 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Hey brother, checking in. I hope you're doing well. Sending good vibes your way.


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OfflinewakeINpeople
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Registered: 12/11/14
Posts: 609
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23362672 - 06/20/16 02:29 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

You need to get out and meet people.  As a child your forced to go to school so it's easy to socialize and meet friends, but as an adult no one is forcing you, so you have to do it on your own.  Seeking out friends was a more automatic and natural thing to do 15-20 years ago when there was no internet, and only 50 channels on the TV.  People went out more and called each other more, because face to face interaction was the main form of excitement.  Now people can find whatever they want online, but the solitude messes people up after a while, because what you can't find online is face to face interaction.  It starts to mess with peoples minds.  Just look at the horrid comments section of youtube....do you ever hear people talk like that to each other in public?  Hell no!!!  Technology is a double-edged sword, people must learn the balance, or else they turn into a confused hermit.

I'd recommend also that you look for a job which sounds like fun to you, where you work with other people.  Something you would be passionate about.  This takes some looking inward, especially after recovering from drug addiction and idleness.  Also, you can use the internet to find groups who are going and doing things outdoors.  Use meetup.com, or some other social media tool.

Kayaking groups, surfing groups, hiking, mountain biking, art, music, water rafting, rock climbing, sky-diving, cars, motorcycles, skiing, snowboarding, running, walking, or any of the other hundreds of hobbies people have.  You need to look inside and ask yourself what things would be the most exciting to you, and do them.

Nature is natural, solitude in a box is not.  You'll get through this, but you must start now....there is no tomorrow, never existed and never will.

You got this!!

This classic Jamiroquai song below is about technology abuse leading to "no sound cause we all live underground".  Prophetic words from 1997.



Edited by wakeINpeople (06/20/16 02:44 AM)


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: wakeINpeople]
    #23362824 - 06/20/16 04:35 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Pretty good post wakeIN, some good ideas and spot on about Internet solitude..


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OfflinewakeINpeople
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Citizen X]
    #23362875 - 06/20/16 05:24 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks, I like to inspire people and help out....

Your pop-lockin' alien a couple posts above is the shit, I think I know that being!!!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed *DELETED* [Re: wakeINpeople]
    #23371694 - 06/22/16 10:17 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: ------------deleted-----------------


Edited by Anonymous (10/25/17 01:18 AM)


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23371730 - 06/22/16 10:25 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Man that's good to hear, rock on brother


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OfflinewakeINpeople
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Re: Don't know what to do anymore. Extremely depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23375464 - 06/23/16 10:23 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

You're Welcome!!


Edited by wakeINpeople (06/23/16 10:23 PM)


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