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InvisibleSlite
Lost in Life
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Registered: 11/03/03
Posts: 355
Loc: UK
Uncontrolable strangeness
    #2334456 - 02/14/04 03:34 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I have a really wierd problem, when I talk to girls I always come across really depressed and down. People regulary ask me why I sound so bad. It really fucks up having a relationship with anyone because they constantly think I hate them or don't give a shit.

Even if I really like the person I'm talking to, I will still come across emotionless. It pisses me off so much and I just can't seem to stop it no matter how much I try. I just don't seem happy around people, as soon as I walk off I get the biggest grin on my face and feel on top of the world but while I'm with them I'm just sombre and seem uninterested.

I can tell this girl I know is getting frustrated with me, we talk on the phone  and over MSN and we get on really(amazingly infact) well but as soon as we meet face to face I just seem not bothered. Arrrrgggg it really frustrates me because I can see myself fucking up something that I really want to work yet I seem totally helpless to stop it. It's really kinda wierd, when we start talking on the phone I start off emotionless but the more we talk I sorta warm up and start talking normally.

Ohh well... rant over.. Any similar experiences? I really wish someone could just type something and when I read it this wierd problem would be gone. I'm not getting my hopes up though :smile:


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"You can either believe you can do something, or believe you can't.... either way your right"



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InvisibletrendalM
King of Asides
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,867
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2334592 - 02/14/04 04:03 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I have something quite similar!

I tend to be rather deep in thought most of the time. Probably up to or over 90% of the time, in fact. Now that's not a problem, of course, but when I'm thinking I have a habit of (apparently) looking like I'm angry at something. I'm not, of course, just deep in thought...but most people don't know that so they think I'm pissed off all the time.

I've had people tell me that they were afraid to approach me because they thought I was angry at something :smirk:

Doesn't really bother me, though. Most of the people it scares off are hosers anyway :lol:


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Invisiblebert
bodhi

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 2,819
Loc: state
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2334681 - 02/14/04 04:31 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I have a problem with showing emotion too.  I think standing in front of a mirror and practicing facial expressions might work.  It sounds kinda weird, because it is.  Try it anyways.  I prefer this one  :smile2: or this one is fun too :eyemouth: if you wanna get cheeky.


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InvisibleSlite
Lost in Life
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Registered: 11/03/03
Posts: 355
Loc: UK
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: trendal]
    #2334808 - 02/14/04 05:34 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah trendal I think about stuff far too much. Whenever I want to do something, like write or say something nice if I think about it too much I just blank out. But if I'm not thinking about it it'll just happen on it's own. This has lead to many a sleepless night coz I'll sit up for hours trying to write something and get approximatly nothing down on paper and then when I try and get to sleep I find myself leaping up to write down all these inspirations that keep coming to me.

I think I just need to explain myself, and then they'll understand (hopefully)

Ohh and bert, I'll try the facial expressions. I hate trying to fake smiles though because they just look... well fake :smile:


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"You can either believe you can do something, or believe you can't.... either way your right"



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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
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Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2334839 - 02/14/04 05:42 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

im exactly the same. dunno what to do


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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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OfflineCleverName
the cloudsshould know meby now...

Registered: 08/26/02
Posts: 1,121
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Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2335166 - 02/14/04 07:39 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

when you fin the right person all will go well.


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if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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Anonymous #1

Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2335304 - 02/14/04 08:22 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I'm the same way, always introspective or just thinking about the universe. People think I am a million miles away sometimes during conversation because I am so deep in contemplation. As for girls, luckily I found my soulmate at a very young age, a girl very much like myself in insecurities/personality. You will find yours someday when the time is right


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 11 years, 6 days
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2351116 - 02/18/04 05:51 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Bert, I've had a problem with smiling before and lately I've been smiling so much the muscles in my lips hurt (meaning those muscles aren well trained enough) and the more I smile the easier it is too smile often. Sometimes I would stop smiling for a while cause my smiling muscles hurt and frustrated me, lol. A good guy once told me this, "think about how you're wrinkles will look when you're old, if you smile alot in your life your wrinkles will show you off as a pleasant happy old man, if you dont smile too much in your life your wrinkles will show you off as a more serious/pissed of guy..."

So, trendal, you'll turn out one scary ass motherfucking old man, lol, just kidding.

Slite, it sounds like a problem you need do dig deep to find out about and conquer it when you find it out... or just keep with the girl you're warming up to, eventually you'll find it comfortable and easy to show that smile when with girls.


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InvisibletrendalM
King of Asides
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,867
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: filthysock]
    #2351342 - 02/18/04 06:41 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Well I'll be sure to have fun going around scaring little children :grin:

:lol:


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
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Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,499
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: Slite]
    #2360954 - 02/20/04 09:44 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I have had the same problem most of my life.  The simple fact is that my face muscles just come to rest in a depressed-looking expression.  Combined with the fact that I've been kind of shy (up until fairly recently), I'm sure a lot of people think I'm some sad guy or something.  Smiling when nothing is making me smile has always seemed phony and pretentious to me, but I've learned to force it. It really does make a difference.  Another thing I did was start to deliberately initiate conversations.  About anything at all... it don't matter.  Make jokes all the time.  Appear to be having fun in life when around other people. :shiftyeyes:

In any case, it definately takes some initiative to remedy... you can't hope it away.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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Offlinethe free thinker
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Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1,877
Loc: twin cities
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Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: bert]
    #2367752 - 02/22/04 02:21 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

bert said:
I think standing in front of a mirror and practicing facial expressions might work.  It sounds kinda weird, because it is.



Sounds weird, but this is good advice.  :smirk:

I've been doin' it for a while... I've pretty much got the same problem that all you guys have.


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Edited by the free thinker (02/22/04 02:22 PM)


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Offlinedaba
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Registered: 12/30/02
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Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: trendal]
    #2368897 - 02/22/04 07:47 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

trendal said:
I have something quite similar!

Doesn't really bother me, though. Most of the people it scares off are hosers anyway :lol:




Word up! :beer:


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OfflineUncleLuke
Crack andlasers.
Male

Registered: 04/28/05
Posts: 3,167
Loc: North Florida
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: Uncontrolable strangeness [Re: CleverName]
    #4286514 - 06/12/05 01:38 PM (12 years, 14 days ago)

Quote:

CleverName said:
when you fin the right person all will go well.




That's very true. I was like you guys and still am. But whenever I'm with my g/f, I'm a different person. It wasn't like this with my ex's, only this one. I really open up to her and can be very humrous. We have a good time. I would have never imagined myself being this way around another person. She's my best friend and she saved my life in more ways than one.


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