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 spiritguru123
Registered: 06/16/13
Posts: 106
Loc: A Pale Blue Dot orbiting ...
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 Broke up with gf after she cheated 
#23344281 - 06/14/16 05:30 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Not sure how to cope, but just found out my girl of one year cheated, should of seen it coming. She has a history of prostitution and random craigslist hook ups, that I always had hesitance to trusting. She goes to had dads house one day and hook ups with a guy from her past then made plans with multiple other guys to meet up including online. Of course she doesnt care, she doesnt react at all just found out she just hooked up with a few other guys after our break up in only one day. She says she still loves me, special place in her heart this and that, regardless shes seems so happy while im over grieving. Now she pretty much ignores me as she continues to hook up. She says maybe one day but it probably smarter to just move on, she already has. She says her instincts say to hook up with other men thats why she cant commit. Couldnt even work today, just too down while she seems so happy and jolly. She saying she wants to be friends and talk sometimes. All very overwhelming but obviously I was played for a year. Im going crazy and she doesnt care at all, doesnt make sense we were together almost everyday for a year
tl;dr: Girlfriend cheated, she doesnt cares but says she still loves me
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BoomerMan420
Stranger
Registered: 10/24/07
Posts: 1,641
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123]
#23344334 - 06/14/16 05:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Dude you had to expect that with her history, with that past only way a relationship would be equatable is a open-relationship which you don't want. You must not think down on yourself it was bound to happen, move on she was not the one for you your heart will be dragged thru the muck again and again with her. She can not respect your values stop trying.
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 Lucis
Nutritional Yeast
Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 9 months, 12 days
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123]
#23344352 - 06/14/16 05:45 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Some people are like that with sex, it's just not a huge deal to them, but that doesn't mean it's not a huge deal to you, and judging from your post it hurts. Sorry you have had to go through this, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, get out there and snag ya a good one.
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sudly
Quasar Praiser
Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 12,281
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123]
#23344952 - 06/14/16 08:20 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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If you have any self respect you'll turn around and never look back at someone like that. Wanting to see other people is okay but pretending to be in a relationship, lying to you and betraying your trust is a choice she made.
Make your choice, be a doormat to the definition of a slut (someone who pretends to be in a relationship but sleeps around) or have the self respect to move on.
This might be the hard part to accept but she probably never loved you in the way you may have loved her. I say this because there are two kinds of love, selfish love and selfless love.
In her case it seems her 'love' is born of selfish care because she enjoys the emotional crutch you provide, your love sounds more like it's born of selfless care for her seeing as you had the conscience not to cheat.
She might care about your well being as a friend but she doesn't care about how you feel and from what you've described about her she never will.
Apathy towards her is the only way you're going to get through the pain you're likely experiencing.
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Edited by sudly (06/14/16 08:25 PM)
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Ezuma
Gontish Wizard
Registered: 12/02/13
Posts: 8,829
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123]
#23345109 - 06/14/16 09:04 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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don't date hos and you'll do ok man
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student
Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system 
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123] 1
#23345211 - 06/14/16 09:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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As all who have posted so far say, you need to turn your back on this one and move on. Chalk it up to experience and once the pain fades you will be a stronger, wiser man for it. The only mistake you can make now, aside from trying to get back with her, is trying to avoid your pain. You need it to heal, as we all do.
Good luck man. I know how hard it get.
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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe
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Rosen_Rot
Learning
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Loc: Goa
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#23345616 - 06/15/16 12:41 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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If natural healing does not work, you could always find her and beat her up. No one gives a shit about hoes anyway so you're good
I'm kidding
Look man I get what you're going through, sort of. I have been in committed relationships where the other person was not so committed, I know the pain of crushed lost love while the other person acts as if they don't give a shit.... hell my ex ended our 5 year relationship and its as if nothing has happened and I've gone through a lot of life changes with this girl
The best advice, from my experience, I can give you is that you need to set and forget and move on, much like everyone else has said, because you don't have a choice and sooner or later your instincts will kick in again after the initial hurt has passed. Block this cunt out of your life, stop keeping tabs on her on how many dudes she's hooked up. First of this isn't a race, how many people she slept with does not degrade your self worth, it just degrades her, and secondly all those dudes are dumbasses like you, sorry, who fall for her tricks. THERE IS NO RUSH
IMPROVE yourself, remember this mistake has happened for 2 reasons, to expose your weaknesses and to improve your self growth. So take it as an opportunity to cater to your self development, keep busy and continue to build up the best version of yourself cause you know what man? There is a girl/woman out there, who's ready to love youas much as you're ready to love, more beautiful than the last and woman who will want to improve your life
I thought the same when my ex ended it, ''i'll never find someone like her'' ''no one is as beautiful as her'' ...etc 7 weeks later I attend a BBQ and this beautiful fairy shows up, albeit she has a bf, but it was a nice reminder of the so many opportunities that are available to me and that my pain was just minuscule in comparison.
Don't give in to self pity either, or thoughts that make you feel like you are unworthy of love, because that is not true and that is just sadness talking. This pain is temporarily and will make you more resilient to further heartbreak. Go out into nature, do activities, meet up with a friend, go to a shooting range, hunt something, grow shrooms.....etc
I'm here if you want to talk about shit man 
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Edited by Rosen_Rot (06/15/16 12:45 AM)
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide
Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac 
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 Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123]
#23345697 - 06/15/16 01:18 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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she's moved on, you should too. from the sounds of it she never truly loved you in the first place so i doubt the "i still love you" bit is even remotely true. that may sound harsh but you gotta take it for what it is. drop her from your life completely and you'll be better off for having done it. chalk this up to life experience and move on, you can probably do so much better than this girl who obviously doesn't care for your feelings nor does she have any respect for your values.
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#23345741 - 06/15/16 01:41 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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slothie you said it nicer than i am going to put it.
you cant tame an outt control chick man... there is some underlying issues with that you want nothing to do with.
youll be fine man... dont go back to that mess.
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Bully
CheapShot-SinisterStrike
Registered: 07/30/04
Posts: 3,229
Loc: Pennsyltucky, USA
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: spiritguru123]
#23346158 - 06/15/16 06:54 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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You can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Move on. Believe it or not, there are women out there that are caring, concerned and loving. Bide your time and she will present herself. As for being heartbroken... Time. All it takes it time. And maybe a little strange. That always helps. The best way to get over a girl is to get under another one.
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Citizen X
Buzz Killinton
Registered: 01/19/14
Posts: 7,890
Loc: Djibouti
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: Lucis]
#23346212 - 06/15/16 07:25 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said:
Some people are like that with sex, it's just not a huge deal to them, but that doesn't mean it's not a huge deal to you, and judging from your post it hurts. Sorry you have had to go through this, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, get out there and snag ya a good one.
I can't tell you not to hurt, you can't help the way you feel but know you did what you could to try to love this imperfect soul. That says a lot about your character brother.
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Still_tripping
Lord yes!
Registered: 10/07/15
Posts: 747
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Re: Broke up with gf after she cheated [Re: Citizen X]
#23350435 - 06/16/16 10:06 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Everyone is giving you the same good advice, move on.
And I agree but it isn't always so easy especially when she's "jolly" and you aren't. Of course she has others in her life and you don't, you feel you've lost something you desired, she dosen't.
So how to proceed? You need to change your mind set. Firstly come to the realization that you are too good for her, or she is not good enough for you, or both. Cheating is a low thing to do since it involves dishonesty to the one person, that if you actually care about them, you shouldn't be dishonest with.
Once you've come to that conclusion then you've a choice to make. You can stick with her for the "with benefits" part while spending time looking for someone else worthy of you, or you can call it quits with her first. The first option has obvious benefits but it has costs too, all sorts of them and some not as obvious as others. For your sake and that of your personal opinion of yourself I would suggest option 2 would be best.
Now the best part, getting revenge. There is no better revenge on a past cheating partner than to show them you are now a very happy person without them and with someone else. If you can show them what they foolishly lost you will in the end be vindicated. So concentrate on that which makes you a better person, stronger, and brings inner happiness. Do that well enough and you won't even care about revenge in the end. Why, because you truly have moved on.
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