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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




Registered: 04/22/02
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Connoisseur]
#26145057 - 08/20/19 05:04 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
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Just a quick pop in to remind you all that:
a) you are loved
b) you are strong
c) you got this shit. You don't need those dirty dr00gs.
d) You have a support network all around you, even if you don't see it or think it. Stay positive, lean on your friends, post here, ask for help. Make things better. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and relapsing is never a failure, its just a chance to try again and get it right.
There is a whole bright and shiny world out there waiting for you.
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: AmericanPsycho]
#26150435 - 08/24/19 06:14 AM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
AmericanPsycho said:
Quote:
Doc9151 said: I to am still hitting the methadone clinic, could also phase up for take homes, but told my counselor I wasn't ready for it. I'm allowed to use cannabis at this clinic
It really pisses me off that people in methadone clincis are allowed to use weed while getting methadone. The FDA even says you should be allowed to ALSO use a benzo if you need it. I'm happy that you have more resources. But if we're in a pain management clinic, we can't use weed or benzos, only opioids, even if we're in a state where it's legal for recreational use. We can't even get a benzo from a psychiatrist that has written us a note that it's medically necessary. That doesn't make any sense to me. They say we can't use weed because it's still "schedule 1" to the federal government. But that somehow doesn't matter if you're on MAT. Their logic is that addicts will still get benzos on the street, but pain patients are less likely to and they'll just suffer. It's so fucked up and not true because I had to go to the black market. It seems like chronic pain patients were treated way better from 2000 - 2010, but nowadays people in addiction treatment are treated way better.
Maybe I'm just in one of the worst pain management clinics and there's others that offer the same choices to people on MAT. But that seems really unlikely. Let me know if there are any.
https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/fda-drug-safety-communication-fda-urges-caution-about-withholding-opioid-addiction-medications
I hate to tell you my friend, but I was in pain management and the methadone clinic is doing more for me than 20years of pain management. Pain doctors are out for CASH not patient relief.
I understand the frustration that you have but it shouldn't anger you, DEA is putting pain doctors in jail, they are afraid to let patients use marijuana with opiates because of it federal status, it's not that pain doctors can't let you smoke, it's that they are afraid of going to jail.
Being allowed to smoke weed has allowed me to get my methadone dose down to a 1/4 of what I was using when going to pain management. I would sometimes take 400mg of methadone a day to get relief, but now 120mg is good enough and I will be going back down in the winter to 90mg. I used to get so upset that the methadone clinic could prescribe hundreds of milligrams of methadone to a patient but I was stuck at 80mg a day at the pain clinic and had to hit the street for it, pain doctors will not give you more. I can literally take 3 tokes of good medical marijuana in the morning, that gets me to the clinic at 7-9am and I won't smoke again until around 4-5pm. This has given me more of my life back than pain management ever did.
WAIT, are you going to pain management and the clinic? I wasn't doing that, I gave up pain management for the clinic because I couldn't get the amount of methadone I needed from pain management and it is the ONLY drug that doesn't make me feel high or chase a high, I feel normal for the most part and I can better deal with breakthrough pain issues.
--------------------
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AmericanPsycho
Abomination of Nature



Registered: 12/18/06
Posts: 8,501
Loc: Normandy SR2
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26150781 - 08/24/19 11:41 AM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Doc9151 said: WAIT, are you going to pain management and the clinic? I wasn't doing that, I gave up pain management for the clinic because I couldn't get the amount of methadone I needed from pain management and it is the ONLY drug that doesn't make me feel high or chase a high, I feel normal for the most part and I can better deal with breakthrough pain issues.
No, I'm just going to a pain management clinic once a month. I wouldn't be able to go to a methadone clinic because the gas would get too expensive to go there everyday.
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Uzidom
Mod<i>z[u]s new acct


Registered: 08/24/19
Posts: 50
Loc: USA
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: AmericanPsycho]
#26151577 - 08/24/19 10:41 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
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2 years 176days clean from illicit opioids
Although I still am on a little bupe everyday. Thats a hell of a lot better than my 400mg oxy or 100mg Oxymorphone habit a day I'd say. Dont miss it in the slightest
-------------------- Hi this is the late great elemenetflip8/m.o.d.i.z.u other profile. I want to start fresh And having an inbox is nice
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Uzidom
Mod<i>z[u]s new acct


Registered: 08/24/19
Posts: 50
Loc: USA
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: AmericanPsycho]
#26151579 - 08/24/19 10:42 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
AmericanPsycho said:
Quote:
Doc9151 said: WAIT, are you going to pain management and the clinic? I wasn't doing that, I gave up pain management for the clinic because I couldn't get the amount of methadone I needed from pain management and it is the ONLY drug that doesn't make me feel high or chase a high, I feel normal for the most part and I can better deal with breakthrough pain issues.
No, I'm just going to a pain management clinic once a month. I wouldn't be able to go to a methadone clinic because the gas would get too expensive to go there everyday.
Methadone clinics are a joke imo That's how I had my first OD was on methadone from the clinic. Along with my prescribed benzodiazepine. Have you looked into suboxone maintenance programs. Only thing that worked for me.
-------------------- Hi this is the late great elemenetflip8/m.o.d.i.z.u other profile. I want to start fresh And having an inbox is nice
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Uzidom]
#26152888 - 08/25/19 08:16 PM (4 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Uzidom said:
Quote:
AmericanPsycho said:
Quote:
Doc9151 said: WAIT, are you going to pain management and the clinic? I wasn't doing that, I gave up pain management for the clinic because I couldn't get the amount of methadone I needed from pain management and it is the ONLY drug that doesn't make me feel high or chase a high, I feel normal for the most part and I can better deal with breakthrough pain issues.
No, I'm just going to a pain management clinic once a month. I wouldn't be able to go to a methadone clinic because the gas would get too expensive to go there everyday.
Methadone clinics are a joke imo That's how I had my first OD was on methadone from the clinic. Along with my prescribed benzodiazepine. Have you looked into suboxone maintenance programs. Only thing that worked for me.
I have, was actually a participant in clinical trials, wasn't for me, but it did help. I was trying to kick methadone back in early 2000, buprenorphine helped with all my symptoms except for sleep, couldn't sleep for more than 2hrs a night and had night sweats for the 1st 3 weeks that would soak the bed. It was pain that drove me back to using and I have to say that the methadone clinic has been a God send, especially now that I can smoke weed in the afternoon when my dose starts fading in the pain management department and the weed gets me through to the next dose, it's nice to not get dope sick or chase overpriced junk.
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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Typerwritermonky
shboop a doop a doop


Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 5,375
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26174700 - 09/07/19 06:53 PM (4 years, 4 months ago) |
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Man I can't imagine what it's like to have crippling physical pain that makes you need opiates. I can understand the emotiona/mental stuff though, that's what drove me.
What worked for me was using suboxone on a long slow taper, then going onto vivitrol to kick the rest off and stay on that. I'm now just over 6 months clean from heroin, 3 months clean from suboxone, and loving life.
But for real, what's really worked for me was wanting this for myself. Not letting the next fucked up thing take me down. I've faced my partner committing suicide, legal issues, and will face more - stayed clean through it all. I absolutely don't even feel the addiction anymore after the therapies and work I've done.
Hell I even used opium one day, and had NO DESIRE to take it the next or relapse at all. It was a thoroughly enjoyable light buzz I gained with the seasons time. Was beautiful, and had NO desire to do it again. Gave away the rest I made actually.
Its all about what you really want - I remember being in rehab asking people "do you really wanna be clean" and theyd be like yeah! thats why im here! And Id reply "i dont wana be clean and im still here.." because most all of em were lying.
finally, I wanna be clean.
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Yonatin


Registered: 09/05/17
Posts: 654
Loc:
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Quote:
Typerwritermonky said: What worked for me was using suboxone on a long slow taper, then going onto vivitrol to kick the rest off and stay on that. I'm now just over 6 months clean from heroin, 3 months clean from suboxone, and loving life.
But for real, what's really worked for me was wanting this for myself. Not letting the next fucked up thing take me down. I've faced my partner committing suicide, legal issues, and will face more - stayed clean through it all. I absolutely don't even feel the addiction anymore after the therapies and work I've done.
Hell I even used opium one day, and had NO DESIRE to take it the next or relapse at all. It was a thoroughly enjoyable light buzz I gained with the seasons time. Was beautiful, and had NO desire to do it again. Gave away the rest I made actually.
Its all about what you really want - I remember being in rehab asking people "do you really wanna be clean" and theyd be like yeah! thats why im here! And Id reply "i dont wana be clean and im still here.." because most all of em were lying.
finally, I wanna be clean.
Congrats dude, that's really awesome you've decided to take it seriously and really be able to stop. It's a tough demon to get rid of and I'm happy for you that you were able to oust that ma-fucker.
There becomes a point in one's life where you have the chance to reflect on what's important and what isn't. For me personally it feels like I ended up where I am by default. I tried every way possible to avoid life and all of its hardships and at the end of the day my problems got worse and they were still there.
I've essentially had to scrap everything and start over like I'm 18 again. It's been a massive hit to my ego, but through shrooms I was able to recognize all of life's discomforts are only temporary. At the end of a shit day I am still able to be home, shower, and lay in a comfortable bed and for me that's enough.
You talk about wanting it for yourself and I don't think people really know what that means to actually WANT it. I told everyone I "wanted" to get clean, but what I really wanted was for them to get off my ass about using and let me be. THANK GOD my loved ones never abandoned me like I wanted and did everything they could to help me even when I didn't think or know I needed it. My hope for someone that isn't as fortunate as I was is they will see your post and really think hard about what they really WANT. Awesome post man! I am happy you were able to get it together and tell us about it.
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AmericanPsycho
Abomination of Nature



Registered: 12/18/06
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Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26215404 - 09/28/19 07:50 AM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm doing better now. I finally was able to control myself last month and didn't run out of my script early. I just kept reminding myself how much it sucks to be in opioid withdrawal and I didn't want to do that anymore. Wow, it's so much better when time actually moves normally again lol. Time would slow down soooo much when I would be in withdrawal. A week of opioid withdrawal would feel like 3 months or something.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: AmericanPsycho]
#26215685 - 09/28/19 10:09 AM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
AmericanPsycho said:
Wow, it's so much better when time actually moves normally again lol. Time would slow down soooo much when I would be in withdrawal. A week of opioid withdrawal would feel like 3 months or something.
Time can't move slowly or quickly (60 seconds is always 60 seconds), so identifying these deceptive distorted brain messages is critical to maintaining a clear accurate perspective. If one week feels like twelve weeks, it may be due to the fact you are hyper focused on what you see as the terribleness of the experience. If you label an experience horrendous, and get stuck on that thought, time will appear to slow down, when it really doesn't. This is similar to the confusion many people have when they report they feel depressed 24 hours a day for weeks or years on end. It's not true, but they are blind to the fact because they are very focused on how horrendous the experience is.
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Doc9151
Mycologist


Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Quote:
Typerwritermonky said: Man I can't imagine what it's like to have crippling physical pain that makes you need opiates. I can understand the emotiona/mental stuff though, that's what drove me.
What worked for me was using suboxone on a long slow taper, then going onto vivitrol to kick the rest off and stay on that. I'm now just over 6 months clean from heroin, 3 months clean from suboxone, and loving life.
But for real, what's really worked for me was wanting this for myself. Not letting the next fucked up thing take me down. I've faced my partner committing suicide, legal issues, and will face more - stayed clean through it all. I absolutely don't even feel the addiction anymore after the therapies and work I've done.
Hell I even used opium one day, and had NO DESIRE to take it the next or relapse at all. It was a thoroughly enjoyable light buzz I gained with the seasons time. Was beautiful, and had NO desire to do it again. Gave away the rest I made actually.
Its all about what you really want - I remember being in rehab asking people "do you really wanna be clean" and theyd be like yeah! thats why im here! And Id reply "i dont wana be clean and im still here.." because most all of em were lying.
finally, I wanna be clean.
The pain alone is terrible, but it is the way our friends and family start to judge us for the medication, lack of drive, depression and so much more that they either don't understand, know or care about that becomes the bigger issue for people like me. Just hearing that you are taking a certain medication will cause some people to automatically label you and make you repulsive and worthless in some peoples minds.
Your very last statement is the key to recovery, cut and dry. Unless, you deal with physical pain, even then you have a choice. For me, it was the Methadone clinic or my pistol. The clinic was definitely the right choice, I have a semblance of a life now and I will take it, before I was just existing. Being completely honest with my counselor and the nurses about where I am in my recovery and life helps too, along with microdosing Ps. cubensis as needed. Take home doses are possible for me at this point, but I don't think that I am ready for them, if I do get them then I'm afraid that I will give in to the evening flare up of pain and take it, but now I know that I can get through to the next day and I would really be taking it to get high and I can't say that I wouldn't, Really want this to work. Having a place like this to share with like minded people is also very therapeutic for me. I appreciate you all, hang in there. Typewritermonkey, you're an inspiration!!!
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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Typerwritermonky
shboop a doop a doop


Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 5,375
Loc: Mrs. Brown's Teahouse
Last seen: 1 day, 19 hours
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26228191 - 10/03/19 07:22 PM (4 years, 3 months ago) |
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Thanks Doc <3.
Funny coming back to this thread a month later... one more month clean, one more month feeling even better. Hell, it trips me the fuck out these days because I actually feel SO good. I take a laundry list of herbs, vitamins, minerals and supplements (no kratom) that help me a ton. People always ask me "hey man you seem really chill, like all the time. Whats your secret?" Focus, meditation, socialization, spiritual pursuits, and proper physical health. Most people who I never told I used heroin are BLOWN away I was addicted to it. They knew I was a big druggie and used lotsa Ketamine back in the day, but had no clue how dark it got.
Last week I had a weird moment. I treated myself and ordered a really nice pizza delivery; grubhub ya know. Each extra topping cost 3.50$, and I want BBQ sauce, green onions, and calibrian chili oil. But I didnt have the extra dough (haha). So I realized I grow green onions in my backyard, have my own homemade chili oil and some bbq sauce a friend made and gave me. I ordered the pizza, doctored it up with the homemade ingredients, popped it in the oven for 3-4 minutes so they all heated in and I had this moment. This moment of absolute happiness and joy; just from this pizza plan working out. It was the exact same feeling I had when I scored and had dope in my pocket and knew I'd be high and not in WD for the next few days. and I got it from.. a pizza. It marked such a massive change for me.
I feel like I've gotten stronger, happier, and smarter. My mind/brain is back. I've got women and love and emotional intimacy in my life again. I have my families trust back again. I'm working all the time, making music thats damn good. And thankfully I didn't have to go sober. I haven't smoked weed in almost a month, or had a drink in 3 weeks. I've microdosed LSD though once or twice. And I know I can take LSD, mescaline, mushies, DMT, ketamine - all when I want. They'll be there waiting for me. And none of them will do anything other then drive me further away from that opiate addiction that destroyed me. Sure my ketamine addiction (before ibogaine) made me waste a lot of money, make a fucking fool of myself, lose respect of some peers - but nothing that didn't take a few times of them seeing me off of it to repair. And post ibogaine, I do ketamine 3-4 times a year. I have no desire to do it on a normal day.
So here I am - with about 40% of what my life once was. And working everyday to build it back all the way, and then more. I've unfortunately lost a few friends along the way - but the one who I actually care about winning back is giving me a chance still. So at this point, I nurse my wounds, heal my scars - and can't wait for next summer where I can wear a t shirt and be seen as a normal person.
side note: the girl I'm with does this thing where she gently pets the crooks of my elbows (the only place I still have visible track marks) ever so gently, and when she does - I swear I could cry tears of happiness. never, ever, ever going back. Just about to hit 8 months clean.
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 20,529
Loc: PuppetMasterFlash
Last seen: 17 hours, 10 minutes
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Just a reminder bump for everyone that you are loved.
For those staying clean, fucking amazing.
For those who have relapsed, its ok. Get back up, try again. You got this shit.
I've been off heroin for about 4 or 5 years now, and off my methadone as of March I think, I cant even remember. Depression slooowwwlly getting better. ADHD bullshit a struggle to deal with. The shame of being an idiot and putting myself into a situation I knew was bad news going strong but slowly getting better. Still can't talk to my family or most of my friends about it. Even long time shroomery friends who cast zero judgement are impossible to open up too.
I try to remember the little gains I make each day. Like, I cleaned my house a little more today, or I didn't spend the ENTIRE day binging netflix. I started taking walks at work every few hours for some exercise. I managed to make plans with friend and actually go instead of flaking out, even if it made me anxious for no reason. Shit still overwhelms me and I still get oddball random cravings to get high on opiates. Luckily I couldn't get them if I wanted to now because I burned all those bridges and the friends I have left love me enough to not let me put myself in that situation.
It was and is worth every little bit of pain, struggle and fight you have to go through to get through it all.
<3
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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FungiMaster
Entrepreneur



Registered: 10/31/19
Posts: 998
Loc: Bay Area, CA, USA
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: mndfreeze]
#26300389 - 11/05/19 10:42 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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opiates are ok sometimes. like if you pull your back they are nice.
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Toxic enigma
High priest of his own madness



Registered: 05/26/19
Posts: 368
Last seen: 4 years, 11 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: FungiMaster]
#26300430 - 11/05/19 11:05 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
FungiMaster said: opiates are ok sometimes. like if you pull your back they are nice.
Really not the thread for this, the people posting in this thread are dealing or recovering from serious addictions.
-------------------- The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride". CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Toxic enigma]
#26300985 - 11/05/19 03:08 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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my apologies if this is inappropriate, but I'm curious, have any of you quit harder opiates and then gone back to kratom after being clean a while?
I've been off the junk for like 7 years now but I'm still tempted to try some kratom every now and again. Have any of you found it to be a slippery slope or re-trigger withdrawal symptoms?
I don't even like opiates, I'm mostly after the stim effects, so the slippery slope aspect doesn't really concern me, I just don't want withdrawal shit to get triggered.
will delete on request
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Psilosopherr]
#26301024 - 11/05/19 03:23 PM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psilosopherr said: my apologies if this is inappropriate, but I'm curious, have any of you quit harder opiates and then gone back to kratom after being clean a while?
I've been off the junk for like 7 years now but I'm still tempted to try some kratom every now and again. Have any of you found it to be a slippery slope or re-trigger withdrawal symptoms?
I don't even like opiates, I'm mostly after the stim effects, so the slippery slope aspect doesn't really concern me, I just don't want withdrawal shit to get triggered.
will delete on request
It will definitely have a kindling effect on your withdrawals if you had a heavy habit. I’m using KRATOM right now but that’s because when I don’t I end up relapsing on h/fent and putting myself in dangerous situations. I wouldn’t mess with it unless you feel like you are going to use a stronger opiate
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
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drat, guess i'll just stick with other stims. thanks!
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Yonatin


Registered: 09/05/17
Posts: 654
Loc:
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Psilosopherr]
#26308626 - 11/09/19 06:14 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've started using kratom after being clean for a while. I find it helps me to not think about the harder stuff. I also feel like it's not an issue for me to use it, the dosage never gets out of control and I really like the effect it has on my mood.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Yonatin]
#26308825 - 11/09/19 09:04 AM (4 years, 2 months ago) |
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oh right on, you don't wet WD when you stop?
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