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Nicholas Valentine
Stranger
Registered: 05/13/19
Posts: 9
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Cjmckay]
#25990145 - 05/13/19 03:07 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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a lil over 3 weeks since I last used
choosing not to be hung up on it
recognizing why i continue to make poor self destructive choices
adapting to the want and need and desire to change
practicing the footsteps of being clean
reducing and removing my exposure to those in active addiction
accepting the truth that I am an opiate addict and always will be while allowing the truth to unburden me from the shame of secrecy
being as honest as I can with others about who I desire to be without my addiction and what speaks to me within
understanding what my actions have cost me in life and reassessing the way i behave in friendships, family relationships and romantic relationships
knowing i can be who i want to be with persistence and inertia, while finding acceptance with the fact people often frown upon that
realizing its not others who are the problem its my relationships with them
best of luck to all of you
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




Registered: 04/22/02
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Connoisseur] 1
#25990443 - 05/13/19 05:35 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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Next week is the end of my methadone treatment. 4 years of transition from deciding doing it on my own to just maintaining for stability and pain issues, to deciding it was finally time to quit, trying to speed up the process by going down faster and failing, then finally making the realization that for me I need slow, long term stability and control to get off.
I've been using opiates for almost 18 years and addicted about 15. This is a reminder for all of you out there that you CAN get off em if you really want too and you have to make the choice when enough is enough and seek help. Treatment options work if you put in the work and it doesn't have to be miserable hard withdrawal either.
Much love everyone. Stay strong and keep it up. The struggle is real but its worth it.
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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Fert Nitty
Example of a bad example



Registered: 09/19/13
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Loc: Western Washington
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: mndfreeze]
#25990609 - 05/13/19 06:47 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
mndfreeze said: Next week is the end of my methadone treatment. 4 years of transition from deciding doing it on my own to just maintaining for stability and pain issues, to deciding it was finally time to quit, trying to speed up the process by going down faster and failing, then finally making the realization that for me I need slow, long term stability and control to get off.
I've been using opiates for almost 18 years and addicted about 15. This is a reminder for all of you out there that you CAN get off em if you really want too and you have to make the choice when enough is enough and seek help. Treatment options work if you put in the work and it doesn't have to be miserable hard withdrawal either.
Much love everyone. Stay strong and keep it up. The struggle is real but its worth it.
I'm just curious, how low are you tapering down to before aking the jump? Best of luck to you, and keep us updated if you would.. I'm always curious to see how peoples' experiences go kicking from tapering as low as possible. I've had successful kicks with low dose quick sub-tapers then transitioning to krat to zero in the past
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Fert Nitty]
#25990997 - 05/13/19 09:33 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm at 2mg. I have friends that stopped at 10, friends that stopped at 5, friends that stopped at 3 but I have pain issues that have been coming back with the taper, anxiety, insomnia and depression that starts to hit around the 20 hour mark still so I'm going super slow. Makes it easier to deal with it all. Already been years. Another month at the end wouldn't hurt anything. Stability is key. A few times during my program I tried to make much higher jumps then they wanted me too downward. Every time I'd make it for a while then fail due to some life issues, work issues, whatever hitting because I was in an always 'sorta shitty' feeling. Not quite withdrawal but definitely not good either. Trying to speed up the process in the end only cost me more time.
For those who don't know, 5mg of methadone roughly translates to about 20mg of morphine. 5mg of oxy to 7,5mg of morphine. Methadone is potent and long lasting, hence why its used, but that also means the withdrawal lasts longer. Methadone has special considerations for dosing/tapering because of that long lasting effect building up over time.
As for kratom, I have weird reactions too it. Half the time I end up flushed, hot and cold flashing and generally feel bad from it, almost like precipitated withdrawal but not quite. Only way I don't get that is if I take a very small dose and even then its iffy. Never seemed to matter what strain it was either. It's possible it doesn't play nice with methadone but my (ex)gf took it with no issues as have many of my friends.
I used subs for years during my heroin time. I always kept a supply around for those times I couldn't get anything good. I never liked how I felt on em. They only ever solved part of the problem for me and at the time I wasn't looking for an exit, just a temporary stay. Subs are amazing medicine for people wanting to quit if used properly. The problem is most addicts don't REALLY want to quit when they have their first few breaks and end up going back too it pretty fast. Subs nor methadone will work in either of those scenarios. If someone is ready to really quit, both will work well if you stick with the program. IMO I found methadone easier because it still gives you a proper 'high' that most users crave in the beginning. A lot of people find it rough to go from getting euphoric every day to just sort of existing then end up relapsing. But methadone is definitely the longer program. It doesn't have to be crazy long like mine if you don't max your dose out when you first start but if you do then it will take some time to lower down again as the rate you can increase is far larger every day than the rate you can drop every week when you start the taper.
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: mndfreeze]
#25992101 - 05/14/19 11:41 AM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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Mindfreeze, Have you tried microdosing for the depression, it has really been a blessing for me, now that I'm on the methadone clinic things have gotten way better I went from 200-400mg of methadone a day, down to 100mg and life is good for the most part. I too have pain issues and had to come to the realization that I have to live with a certain amount of physical pain in my life and that I can not take so much medication, that I feel no pain at all. I now know that I can live a normalish life, even with the pain. It was finding that balance that is/was the hard part. The nurses at the clinic keep asking me if I want to raise my dose and I'm able to say no, that's progress for me.
Mindfreeze, my big brother jumped off methadone at 2mg, he had some symptoms for a few days to a week but he said it was much better than jumping off at 10mg, he made it several years until he fell from the neighbor's hay loft in the barn and broke his back, now he's fighting a different battle.
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 20,529
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26003780 - 05/20/19 03:39 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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Nope on the microdosing. I have specific issues with mushrooms, LSD is too troublesome and risky to acquire, and I'm too lazy for DMT extraction these days. lol DMT will probably be my psychedelic route here soon though.
I did a week of 2mg and today is the first day with nothing. Little moody but that's it so far. It has only been about 26 hours since I dosed though. We'll see how cranky I am tomorrow.
I have a fuckload of gabapentin still that was prescribed for my neuropathy and it handles things pretty decently still.
Sorry to hear about your brother. I'm a firm believer that there IS a point where heavy medication is called for and justified. It's half of why I went to a methadone clinic to begin with. It was far easier to get pain treatment by telling them I was a junky than it was trying to get it through my damn doctor. If I ever get cancer and am dying, or some other severe injury, I will have no qualms about going back on opiates. The problem for most people is the justification they need them for injuries not quite bad enough as they really have other shit going on they are trying to numb.
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: mndfreeze]
#26003967 - 05/20/19 05:25 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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I agree that tomorrow will be the tell tale day for you, I can usually make it 36hrs before dope sickness kicks in, but I hope it is very mild if anything for you.
I agree with you on everything you said, the methadone clinic has been a blessing for me, my doctors wouldn't give me what I needed as far as the methadone goes but they would pile on the oxycodone and I hate that stuff, methadone has made me feel normal, but the withdrawal is the worst thing I've ever experienced and I could never make my scripts stretch the month due to tolerance issues.
Now, things are much better, especially now that the clinic is letting me get a weed card to make up for when my dose start waning in the evening. I can smoke 2 grams of quality bud and I don't need anything else.
Opiates are definitely the worst choice someone could make to treat mental health issues, it would be much better to face whatever it is that is causing problems than ending up with an opiate addiction.
Unfortunately, mental health treatment is like standing down range and the doc using a medication shotgun to see what happens.
Mindfreeze, I'm sending you all the good vibes that I can muster my friend, you got this, stay strong.
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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Toxic enigma
High priest of his own madness


Registered: 05/26/19
Posts: 368
Last seen: 4 years, 11 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26013665 - 05/26/19 02:19 AM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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I hope this is the right spot for this, I'm coming to the end of the third week going cold turkey off heroin. Not entirely by choice lost my job along with a few other events ( car broke down). I only used for about 7 months so it could be worse. Probably don't need to tell anyone here the first week was the worst, my whole body ached, puked a few times, chills and cold sweats, really bad insomnia. The second week most of it had gone away but still struggled to even get an hour of sleep a day. Still didn't have much energy but started going on walks into town just to do something (the drug became so much of my daily life I fell oit of any hobbies I had before and found a library just a few blocks from where I live and a park with a fishing pond. I managed to get my mom to loan me some money for a fishing license so now atleast I have a few things I can do to get out of the house. In the last week I've been managing between three to four hours sleep a night, but I've been having almost lucid dreams about using almost every night and I wonder if this is normal? Anyone else have that happen?
-------------------- The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride". CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Toxic enigma]
#26014996 - 05/26/19 07:25 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's normal. Since you only used for 7 months it won't last much longer. Insomnia, depression, anxiety, stress, etc are all normal responses after getting off opiates until your body adjusts back to what it was before you used.
You should be proud of yourself for getting off the junk and do everything in your power to redirect that energy elsewhere.
If the after effects are bad, a doctor can give you a script for gabapentin and clonidine, which help with some of those after effects. I pretty much can't sleep at all without it.
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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Toxic enigma
High priest of his own madness



Registered: 05/26/19
Posts: 368
Last seen: 4 years, 11 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: mndfreeze]
#26015271 - 05/26/19 11:52 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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So far I haven't noticed much as far as depression or anxiety but I've had issues with both since I was a teenager, so it's hard to see much of a change there. I'm aware thoes issues are likely atleast in part factors in my addiction. As for redirecting my energy, as I mentioned before I've been going for walks, fishing at a local pond and going to the library. I also got my bmx bike out of the garage and I'm pricing the parts I meed to get my mountain bike working again. I used to be really big into bike riding but haven't for years, but now seems like a good time to try and get back into it.
-------------------- The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride". CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
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Loc: Gulf Coast USA
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Toxic enigma]
#26018088 - 05/28/19 11:09 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Welcome to the shroomery's opiate addict support group, we have some wonderful people here that really do care.
The drug dreams are normal and they will go away, the biggest problem is thinking that you got this under control and use again. For some reason, we seem to forget the hell we went through during detox and we use again.
My personal experience has been that each time I quit, then went back to using, my habit increased 10 fold each time and so did the withdrawal symptoms and the time using increased as well, it took 10 years from when I started using again to get back into sobriety.
As far as the sleep situation is concerned, try exerting yourself during the day, do as much as possible and it will help you sleep better. Most people feel so shitty that they don't do anything to exert themselves and they end up with a lot of pent up energy, even though you don't feel energetic.
Taking up a hobby is the best thing you can do to keep yourself occupied. My next suggestion is to find someone that you trust, tell them what you are going through and ask them for help. When you start getting the itch to use (it will happen) this is the person that you need to be around until the desire passes. Someone that won't cave in to your desires to use and someone that doesn't use themselves or that will get aggravated and leave you alone. I like to go camping when I feel like this, far enough away to where I can't easily gain access to my drug of choice.
Now, you also need to identify why you were using in the first place. Are you self medicating a mental or physical illness? You mentioned depression and anxiety disorders, have you ever addressed those issues with a professional? Have you ever tried micro-dosing psychoactive mushrooms or LSD?
I have issues with depression and anxiety that was caused by a couple strokes that left me partially paralyzed on my right side, micro-dosing Psilocybe cubensis has worked better for me than anything ever prescribed by a doctor. You can do a few half pint jars using the pf tek to grow enough mushrooms for a years worth of medicine. If you have schizophrenia, I do NOT recommend any psychoactive drugs whatsoever.
Well, hopefully you will get passed this and realize that you don't need to get high to enjoy life, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me anytime or post here in this thread.
Best wishes, Doc Lingo
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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personergos
Dude

Registered: 04/02/14
Posts: 149
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26018355 - 05/28/19 01:12 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Random post here. Just wanted to say hi I guess.
I used to come to this website pretty frequently a few years ago, and randomly thought about it today and wondered how active it still was. Crazy (and slightly cringe inducing) to look back on my old posts.
By the time I left the site, I think I had just switched from poppy seed tea over to oxy completely. Since then I naturally moved on to heroin, completely fucked my life up over the course of a couple years, and was finally able to get off the shit last February. I've been on suboxone since then and am currently tapering off of it with my doctor. The 12 steps helped me the most, but I realize a lot of people don't wanna go that route to get clean.
So yea, I don't know. Just wanted to (re)introduce myself and see how everyone else was doing. I've got about 16 months now, which I wouldn't consider long-term sobriety, but I'm always willing to try and help anyone that's struggling. Hope everyone's doing well today!
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Doc9151
Mycologist



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Loc: Gulf Coast USA
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: personergos]
#26018723 - 05/28/19 03:51 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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I tried the NA route, couldn't relate, but my suggestion is do whatever you have to to get clean. We would walk naked in a snowstorm to get a dose during active addiction, why not do whatever it takes to clean up, for me it's the methadone clinic, which I used to frown on, but now it's saving my life, irony.
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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personergos
Dude

Registered: 04/02/14
Posts: 149
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151] 1
#26018733 - 05/28/19 03:55 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yep. What works for some doesn't work for everybody. Just gotta find the best path for yourself.
I can relate to that. Used to talk mad shit about people on methadone/suboxone, but I don't think I would've made it through my first couple months after treatment without subs. I think I just saw people finding a way to get their lives back on track and got jealous, because no matter how many times I tried I couldn't do it myself.
Whatever gets us away from that lifestyle is a good thing in my eyes.
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JustABoxOfRain

Registered: 07/20/17
Posts: 197
Loc: Under my LSD bedsheets
Last seen: 4 months, 14 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) *DELETED* [Re: personergos]
#26018814 - 05/28/19 04:30 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Post deleted by JustABoxOfRain
Reason for deletion: Change of opinion
-------------------- Brotherhood of Eternal Love I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe. I was not offended, for I knew I had to rise above it all, or drown in my own shit
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Toxic enigma
High priest of his own madness



Registered: 05/26/19
Posts: 368
Last seen: 4 years, 11 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26018914 - 05/28/19 05:12 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Doc9151 said: Now, you also need to identify why you were using in the first place. Are you self medicating a mental or physical illness? You mentioned depression and anxiety disorders, have you ever addressed those issues with a professional? Have you ever tried micro-dosing psychoactive mushrooms or LSD?
I have issues with depression and anxiety that was caused by a couple strokes that left me partially paralyzed on my right side, micro-dosing Psilocybe cubensis has worked better for me than anything ever prescribed by a doctor. You can do a few half pint jars using the pf tek to grow enough mushrooms for a years worth of medicine. If you have schizophrenia, I do NOT recommend any psychoactive drugs whatsoever.
I was seeing a therapist a few years ago but scedualing and financial issues cut that off too soon. Both the anxiety and depression are social related in my case, being an introvert on top of social anxiety makes it kind of hard to find people to talk to about things lile this. The micro dosing thing sounds like it's worth giving a shot. I used to row my own mushrooms years ago (used to frequent the forums here under a differant name as well) and still have the pressure cooker and a few bags of grain left and I habe thought about getting back into it again.
-------------------- The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride". CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: JustABoxOfRain]
#26018924 - 05/28/19 05:16 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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No sense beating yourself up, what's done is done. You should be asking yourself what are you going to do now, are you really sick of using, do you like the cycle of insanity? Making excuses and feeling bad about shit you can't change is only feeding the beast.
You know what you did wrong, now fix it and take it as a lesson learned and move forward my friend. I kept making up all kinds of reasons to use, but I rarely thought about reasons not to use or why I was medicating in the first place.
I wish you the best my friend, but please don't beat yourself up, learn from it and get stronger so you can kick that shit for good, because you know that ain't no way to live.
@Toxic enigma, hit me up and I will send you some spores if you want, microdosing has definitely been a blessing for me.
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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Toxic enigma
High priest of his own madness



Registered: 05/26/19
Posts: 368
Last seen: 4 years, 11 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26019792 - 05/29/19 03:51 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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I would actually appreciate that Doc, I'll send my address to you on a pm. Take me a little bit to get the rest of what I need together because everything else got destroyed when I stopped growing, unfortunately at the time things were getting too hot around me.
-------------------- The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride". CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.
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Doc9151
Mycologist



Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Toxic enigma]
#26020103 - 05/29/19 08:37 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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I got you.
--------------------
  Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593
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Toxic enigma
High priest of his own madness



Registered: 05/26/19
Posts: 368
Last seen: 4 years, 11 days
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
#26023765 - 05/30/19 08:01 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
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Had a really rough day today. Started out with running out of liquid for my e-cig so I'm going through nicotine withdrawal on top of things. Went to the library and on my way back ended up crashing my bmx bike into a car that was going the wrong way up my street. Bashed up my knee, feels like I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and got a bruise on my head. After being yelled by the guy I ran into and him threatening to sue me several times even though he drove right past two wrong way signs. PAbout this point I was having a full on manic episode, put my bike in the garage and smashed an old vacuum. Calmed down a little bit and went into the house where I find out the external dvd player I've Been using to watch movies has stopped working, snapped again and punched a hole in the bedroom door and smashed a mirror. After this I broke down in tears and started getting thoughts of cutting and suicide. From here I spent two and a half hours talking to the crisis hotline, to find out I easily qualify for the mental health program but to even get started I have to get to a place that's 13 miles from my house.
-------------------- The goal of life is not to arrive safely at the grave, but rather to slide in side ways yelling " holy crap what a ride". CAUTION: contents under pressure, highly volatile, may contain language of a vulgar, subversive or blasphemous nature, handle with care, point away from face when opening.
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