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Anonymous #2

Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Cjmckay]
    #25955068 - 04/25/19 04:18 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

I'm going on 7 months clean from h. I was struggling really bad the past few days, really wanted to score. Picked up some kratom instead, still disappointed in myself. I feel kratom holds me back.


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OfflineDoc9151M
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Fert Nitty]
    #25955176 - 04/25/19 05:17 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Fert Nitty said:
What's up fellow junkies. I have been away from shroomery for over a year now. I lost my phone with all my acct info and couldn't remember my passwords or passwords to the email addys used to recover my passwords SMH. So I quit the forums for a while.

While I've been away I made and lost progress with getting off opiates (heroin primarily) I went to detox twice, then had 4 months clean, doing great before fucking up. I'm now fully physically addicted to IV heroin, though functioning with a decent job, home, and happy relationship with my girlfriend.

I actually decided to do what I always said I wouldn't. - I am waiting on my Dr. appointment to get on subs..

That's my update for anyone who cares, I Dont know if yall are any of the same people that was on here a year or 2 ago when this thread was made - crazy it is still going! - what happened to connoisseur? I see he is banned. Him and I were pretty good friends. I haven't talked to him in a long time and I feel bad. Anyone know the scoop on him?



Welcome back, I just realized I was posting anonymously and I don't give a shit who knows, if anything I say is useful to a fellow struggler, I say "good".

I have struggled with opioids for many years (over 20 for what it's worth), my struggle comes from chronic illness, if I was hooked purely from recreational use and knowing what I know about long and short acting opioids, using a long acting opiate to get off of short acting opiates should be done with the smallest dose for the very minimum amount of time.

I have experience with both methadone and Buprenorphine, trust me when I say that withdrawal from long acting opioids like the two mentioned is way more difficult than being sick for 10-14 days detoxing from short acting opioids like heroin and oxycodone or hydrocodone.

My methadone withdrawal while taking buprenorphine lasted 6 months, it was better than 6 months with no buprenorphine.  Sleep only came for 2hrs a night the first 6 months,  night sweats that soaked the bed like I pissed myself, massive body load. The only things I didn't have was restless legs, vomiting and diarrhea.

When I quit taking percs, oxy,junk like that, I was sick 10 days, by day 14 I was well but physical pain kept me going back.

After years and years of bullshit I have settled on the methadone clinic, but I have to make it until the 3rd of May, it's going to be a nightmare but I don't fuck with street dope like H.

I wish you all the best my cosmic brother, you can beat this shit,  figure out why you are abusing your self and fix it, this is definitely a life or death situation and life is worth living, especially if you can still walk and talk all on your own.


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Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593


Edited by Doc9151 (04/25/19 05:17 PM)


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InvisibleYonatin
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Doc9151]
    #25955763 - 04/25/19 10:18 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

I would agree too with what Doc said, Sub withdrawals are a long process. It took me 3 tries to finally do it and it was only successful the third time because of two reasons. 1 it had to be because my insurance went away and I wasn't going to pay $8 a strip taking two a day. And 2 I stayed as stoned as I possible could for the first 2 weeks. It helped with sleep and the aches but, that's when I I started getting depressed. I'm clean now and hope to keep it that way. The last time I used was 2 almost 3 years ago. I'm going on 2 years now without Subs and haven't felt better. If I were to do it all over I would start subs to get clean and then taper off of those as quickly as possible. I hope the people on here can get the help they need. I know how hard it is to navigate through this addiction and it takes a strong will to leave it. The best decision I ever made though was getting clean, I still have cravings and I expect to for the rest of my life but I know it can be done. Good luck to anybody that needs help and I can help anyone out if they need, you can either ask here or DM me.


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Edited by Yonatin (04/25/19 10:18 PM)


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OfflineFert Nitty
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Yonatin]
    #25956394 - 04/26/19 09:15 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Oh believe me, I know. I'm 15 years into opi addiction, and I have utilized subs, done, PST, immodium AD, kratom, pretty much anything you can use to mediate W/Ds. I have always avoided going full on sub maintenance though, for the very reasons described. I've kicked h in jail with friends who were on methadone and subs and by the time I was feeling okay,, they were near peaking with their W/D symptoms.

I now understand that I won't ever be able to stay away from opiates forever. At least with subs the whole nit n grit hustle of copping, shooting, spending hundreds of dollars per week just to stay well will no longer be a part of my life. It is exhausting, expensive and horrible for my love-life (my girl does t do opiates - never has.


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OfflineFert Nitty
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Fert Nitty]
    #25956398 - 04/26/19 09:16 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Noone knows what happened to connoisseur? Or where he may've gone?


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OfflineDoc9151M
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Fert Nitty]
    #25957112 - 04/26/19 03:14 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Fert Nitty said:
Noone knows what happened to connoisseur? Or where he may've gone?



Im sorry my friend,  I don't know,  didn't realize he was banned


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593


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Invisibletrvptamine
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Fert Nitty]
    #25963988 - 04/30/19 07:44 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Fert Nitty said:
Noone knows what happened to connoisseur? Or where he may've gone?



He found god.


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OfflineFert Nitty
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: trvptamine]
    #25966753 - 05/01/19 06:35 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trvptamine said:
Quote:

Fert Nitty said:
Noone knows what happened to connoisseur? Or where he may've gone?



He found god.





Hold up, you're joking right? Don't tell me that he really died..


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InvisibleMush 4 Brains
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #25969335 - 05/03/19 01:36 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Mush 4 Brains died of an overdose on Tuesday night.

He was my best friend. He died just a few miles away from my house alone in a motel room. He was clean for 7 months and now he's dead and I'm absolutely devastated.

Please be careful out there.

His last post from a week ago:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
I'm going on 7 months clean from h. I was struggling really bad the past few days, really wanted to score. Picked up some kratom instead, still disappointed in myself. I feel kratom holds me back.




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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Mush 4 Brains] * 1
    #25969856 - 05/03/19 10:07 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

This is terrible news.:sad: So sorry for your loss and the loss of another very cool member here. Fuck!


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineDoc9151M
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #25970655 - 05/03/19 06:24 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Thnk you for sharing the fate of Mush 4 Brains, unfortunately, this is a sad side effect of this disorder and the only thing I feel NA got right: Jails, institutions and Death, you are guaranteed 1 or more of those when living in active addiction.

All though the methadone clinic is a pain in the ass in the beginning,  it's the best decision I have made. Street dope was never really a thing for me, but man the prescription shit had me twisted and is just as dangerous with the exception of knowing exactly what and how much I was taking with the pharmaceuticals.

Mush 4 Brains seemed like the kind of person I could have gotten along with really well, he will be missed. I'm sure if he could speak to us now, he would tell us all to do whatever it takes to free ourselves from this tragic trap, thanks to everyone that shared their methadone clinic experiences, you know most likely saved my life and I am very thankful for each and every one of you sharing your struggle, it does make a difference.

Best wishes and good vibes,
Doc


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593


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OfflineDoc9151M
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
    #25970672 - 05/03/19 06:36 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Fert Nitty said:
Noone knows what happened to connoisseur? Or where he may've gone?



I was going through the thread and saw what happened with connoisseur, he asked for his account to be permanently banned for some reason,  it was 5-6 months back. It's on page 32.

Edit: I'm hoping he found peace and is just getting away from old habits and temptations, think that's what dude meant by saying he found god.


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593


Edited by Doc9151 (05/03/19 06:39 PM)


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OfflineFert Nitty
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Re: Opiate addicts support group [Re: Doc9151]
    #25970674 - 05/03/19 06:36 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Mush4brains died too? Wow. This is tragic.
I'm sorry, I am still in shock to hear that about Conn, can anybody else confirm what was said about him?  I don't  wanna believe it is true


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OfflineFert Nitty
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
    #25970684 - 05/03/19 06:40 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Doc9151 said:
Quote:

Fert Nitty said:
Noone knows what happened to connoisseur? Or where he may've gone?



I was going through the thread and saw what happened with connoisseur, he asked for his account to be permanently banned for some reason,  it was 5-6 months back. It's on page 32.





Yea, he would do that. I had his phone number on a phone that I broke a long time ago, we used to talk everyday, and I fell off with the heroin and kinda isolated myself.

I tried to go through all my shroomery messages to see if he had sent me his # back in the day, but it looks like I sent him mine and he texted me from there, smh


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Invisibletrvptamine
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Fert Nitty]
    #25971486 - 05/04/19 04:11 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

No he didnt die. He came to believe in god. Now he trys to force his beliefs on to everyone else and not in a nice way either.


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InvisibleYonatin
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: trvptamine]
    #25975463 - 05/06/19 10:21 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trvptamine said:
No he didnt die. He came to believe in god. Now he trys to force his beliefs on to everyone else and not in a nice way either.



That’s the worst, I live in a state where that seems to be the norm. I’m not going to rag on him for it because I don’t know the context, but I’ve dealt with this my whole life from the Mormon church. As long as it makes him happy I guess that’s all that matters.


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OfflineFert Nitty
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: trvptamine]
    #25976691 - 05/06/19 09:53 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

trvptamine said:
No he didnt die. He came to believe in god. Now he trys to force his beliefs on to everyone else and not in a nice way either.





Damn, almost just as bad.. Was he Bible-thumping on the forums? Any clue how to get ahold of him?


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OfflineDoc9151M
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Fert Nitty]
    #25977508 - 05/07/19 10:04 AM (4 years, 8 months ago)

Well, I have to say that I am in a much better place today, the Doc at the clinic cleared me to take my dose to where I need it and that I could get a medical marijuana card if I wanted.

The other clinic in my area is fucked up, you can't take anything over the counter like cold remedies or take prescription medications like marinol, xanax, valium,  marijuana and they only take you up 10 mg every 3-4 days. The one I'm going to let's me go up 10mg a day.

If you really feel like you can't stop using,  go to the clinic,  let them help you,  it's not something that is terrible, a little inconvenient at first but you won't be chasing dope or getting dope sick anymore,  not to mention the cash you will save.

My habitat on the outside was easily $500 a day, I now pay $480 a month and am getting to a dose that keeps me comfortable and feeling normal. No need  to feel embarrassed about going to the clinic either, I had all kinds of fears until some of you shared your experiences with me and now I can see it was the best thing for me.

Stay safe my brothers and sisters, I love each one of you and know/understand your struggle with dope. Get Help, don't become another victim of the beast.


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593


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InvisibleYonatin
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Doc9151]
    #25983937 - 05/10/19 12:28 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

I feel like I am always drawn to opiates whether I know they are around or not. I recently have stumbled across a bottle of Lortabs at this house I'm living at and now that's all I can think about. I've been off opiates and clean for 3 years but, it's more like I haven't had a chance to get high in 3 years, at least that's how it feels. Now I just happened across these pain pills and now I am obsessing over whether or not to pinch a few off the top. The consequences of getting caught would be life changing as in I'd probably be kicked out of the house or have the cops called on me for taking some but, why do I keep thinking about them so much. It's like all of that doesn't matter as long as I get high. It seems like no matter how hard I try my life circles back to opiates, because now I'm thinking about scoring some H instead of taking a pill or two. Fuck!! I hate this! It fucking sucks living with this demon inside of me!! I'm already at a low point in my life and now I'm facing this, it's all too much. If I just had one friend to talk that we could go and hang out and do something to take my mind off this it would help a lot, unfortunately I don't even have that in my life right now, so I come to you guys for some DESPERATELY needed words of wisdom. To make things worse my using dreams are coming back and two nights in a row make it that much harder to  not think about all of this fucked up shit.


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OfflineCjmckay
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Re: Opiate addicts support group (moved) [Re: Yonatin]
    #25984678 - 05/10/19 06:53 PM (4 years, 8 months ago)

What's worked for me is mindfulness meditation. Getting in a position to observe the thoughts and sensations during cravings. Not getting caught up in the whirlwind. Practicing it is key so you can change the way your brain reacts. I finally am starting to enjoy the clarity, and even booze isn't appealing anymore.
I did a good job of isolating so I feel ya not having anyone to talk with. N.A. meetings might help. I don't like the whole higher power stuff, but there are other people who get it. I'm thinking about checking them out again. Just for the people, not the 12 step stuff.


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