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OfflineFrog
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No, really, "DEATH"
    #2315292 - 02/08/04 08:57 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I had the opportunity this past week to be with someone to whom it was announced that his ex-wife had died in the middle of the night.

He was beleaguered from all sides to send his kids to the funeral. His choice was to not to send the kids to the funeral.

I, personally, don't believe in funerals. I think that funerals are for the living, not for the dead.

What do you believe? Should one go to a funeral to make the living happy? Is it a personal choice how to celebrate the death?


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315331 - 02/08/04 09:09 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I think it's entirely a personal choice, or should be.

I don't like funerals. They make me uneasy. I'm not sad when a person dies, even if they are very close to me, so it feels quite weird to be around so many people who are visibly sad. Plus it just doesn't look good to the sad people to have this guy sitting there who quite obviously is not sad. I've had bad experiences with that...

To me, there is nothing to be "sad" about when someone dies. I will miss their companionship, yes, but in my opinion they've gone to a better place anyway. I don't exactly feel happy about their death...but that would be the closest emotion I would mention.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: trendal]
    #2315339 - 02/08/04 09:11 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I'M SO WITH YOU ON THIS ISSUE!!!

I will be sitting there, so obviously not sad, because, personally, I am not sad when someone dies!!!


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineLlamanose
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315340 - 02/08/04 09:11 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I think funerals mostly serve as a way to remember the deceased, but mostly I believe they are for the family and friends to sort of "finalize" somone's death. I think they serve to give the mourning a chance to say their final goodbyes and help the family members get over it.


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Alice came to a fork in the road.  "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Llamanose]
    #2315390 - 02/08/04 09:25 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Llamanose said:
I think funerals mostly serve as a way to remember the deceased, but mostly I believe they are for the family and friends to sort of "finalize" somone's death. I think they serve to give the mourning a chance to say their final goodbyes and help the family members get over it.




But what if you didn't want to go to the funeral, for whatever, any, reason? Should the other members of the family respect that? Or should you have to go anyways?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: trendal]
    #2315395 - 02/08/04 09:26 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i used to think like that, like even if someone close to me dies i wouldnt really be sad, i mean, why would one be sad?...or so i thought.
my mother passed slowly and painfully due to fucking cancer, and when the time came i was prepared, but not ready, ive never had rougher time getting over anything, obviously its something that i think of everyday. i was sad, and still feel sad once in a while. when one faces death so closely its different....maybe its just me.
i ended up joining the peace corps and moved to Africa for two years, i guess i just had to 'get away.'


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if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: CleverName]
    #2315413 - 02/08/04 09:29 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

But should you have to go to the funeral, if you didn't want to? Or should you choose to go, would it be okay if another close family member chose not to go?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315425 - 02/08/04 09:31 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i went, and left as soon as possible, i wanted to go. but i believe its a personal thing, if one doesnt want to go, then whose to say that one should? thats just ridiculous to force someone to do something like that...


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: CleverName]
    #2315430 - 02/08/04 09:32 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Why did you go, if you didn't really want to go?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315447 - 02/08/04 09:36 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

read my post again, i wanted to go, but left as soon as possible, i didnt want to talk to anyone...she, my mother, asked me to go, if she wouldnt have asked i dont think i would have gone, i think she knew that, so she asked me before she passed...


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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OfflineScolecite
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315464 - 02/08/04 09:39 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Honestly these age old rituals, like funerals have to go. Do you know how much funeral homes make, or gravestone makers? I mean good lord, its just another way to make money.

You pay $ousands to be born $ousands to die. Complete bullshit.

And even after life, your erect phallic symbol will be promently displayed in an area (called a graveyard) much better suited for, heck I dont know, HOUSING, or FARMING land, I mean c'mon!


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: CleverName]
    #2315467 - 02/08/04 09:40 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I have had several close friends and relatives die. Each time I sat through the funeral trying to look sad.

A cousin of mine, who has been a very big influence in my life, is currently suffering from brain cancer and is not expected to live out the year.

Just to give you some comparrison.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: CleverName]
    #2315479 - 02/08/04 09:43 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

CleverName said:
read my post again, i wanted to go, but left as soon as possible, i didnt want to talk to anyone...she, my mother, asked me to go, if she wouldnt have asked i dont think i would have gone, i think she knew that, so she asked me before she passed...




Clever, I'm not trying to give you a hard time, but why did you go?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315482 - 02/08/04 09:43 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Ooo yeah they're so fantastic! I always have a great time at them.

I help put the FUN in Funeral!

lol honestly though I don't enjoy them at all, but I think it is nice to go if it was a loved one who's family you'll still see around - this way their family isn't like "fuck that person they didn't go to Susan's funeral.."


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Scolecite]
    #2315492 - 02/08/04 09:45 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Scolecite said:
Honestly these age old rituals, like funerals have to go. Do you know how much funeral homes make, or gravestone makers? I mean good lord, its just another way to make money.

You pay $ousands to be born $ousands to die. Complete bullshit.

And even after life, your erect phallic symbol will be promently displayed in an area (called a graveyard) much better suited for, heck I dont know, HOUSING, or FARMING land, I mean c'mon!




I SOOOOO agree with you!


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: trendal]
    #2315505 - 02/08/04 09:47 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

trendal said:
I have had several close friends and relatives die. Each time I sat through the funeral trying to look sad.

A cousin of mine, who has been a very big influence in my life, is currently suffering from brain cancer and is not expected to live out the year.

Just to give you some comparrison.




I appreciate the comparison.

Why did you go to the funeral, if you had to sit there and "look" sad?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315515 - 02/08/04 09:49 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

To please others...


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315526 - 02/08/04 09:51 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

a few reasons; closure, my father and brother needed me, my mom asked me...i told her i would and i wasnt about to break the last promise i made to her.
now, i do also believe that funerals these days are ridiulous and its ashame that its so expensive...when i die i want a celebration of my life, not a depressing gathering of my death. i dont want my family to waste money on a casket or a grave site for me. i know it doesnt really matter, but id like ito be cremated and my ashes spread in the ocean...


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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OfflineFrog
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: trendal]
    #2315531 - 02/08/04 09:51 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I don't get going to a funeral, or really, the celebration of a life that ended, just to please others.

Please expound. I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. (P.I.T.A.) I'm trying to understand. (But I do have another point to prove.)


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: No, really, "DEATH" [Re: Frog]
    #2315543 - 02/08/04 09:54 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Probably for much the same reasons that CleverName went to his mother's funeral.

In one case I had family members, whom I do care about, who were quite obviously sad and heartbroken over the death of someone we were all close to. In those cases I went to support them in their time of need. I may not like or enjoy funerals...but I am not above a little self-sacrifice to help people I care about.

In the case of my friend's death, I again went in hopes I could aid in the healing of my other friends who did take his death quite hard as well as hopefully his family.


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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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