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 DTCharlieB
yum yum fish.
Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1,027
Loc: Yak attack 
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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 Re: What would it be like not having kids?  [Re: danielx]
#22979158 - 03/06/16 12:31 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
danielx said:
I always feel like when you talk to parents about having kids they are a very biased source.
Its pretty taboo for parents to say they regret having their kids, and how awesome life could have been, and tell you shouldn't. They seem to typically rave on how worth it their kids are, even if their situation is shitty. Sometimes I wonder if its the truth, if having kids is just such a beautiful natural thing that is worth it, or if these parents are just afraid to say otherwise.
I did talk to a woman in her 50s who chose not to have kids, and she lived what I would consider an amazing life- traveled, nice things, hobbies, etc. Yet she told me her life is feeling unfulfilled at this point because all of her friends have kids, and grand kids, and she feels like she has no one. Was her amazing life worth it? I don't know, im still trying to figure that out.
I was gonna say I hear people say kids are the best thing that has happened to them. That term gets thrown around alot. But I know for sure alot of parents who say this truly actually believe it. And others seem to say it to look good. You can usually tell what their priorities really are.
Man I spend all my free time with my kids. I think about them at work and it makes me happy to think about them. I spend a lot of time with them and when I cant I get sad at times. To me they bring me more entertainment and joy then any friend could. To have your son look at you and copy things you do and look up to you is the most amazing thing in the world. By far brings up goos emotions I never though even existed. It may be cliche but the only downside is worrying about them getting sick or hurt. If they are hurt or sick my stress and anxiety levels go through the roof. But thank God thay isn't the case 95 percent of the time.
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I like lasagna.
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 tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,332
Loc: subtropics
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: DTCharlieB]
#22979172 - 03/06/16 12:33 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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A human baby is the most helpless thing on the face of this planet. It would expire within a certain amount of time without anyone or thing to take care of it to a certain age,period!
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!
Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward 
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22982089 - 03/07/16 10:00 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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What I am saying is that even though this site is not a proper representation of the US population, eventually most of you will have kids
There is no right or wrong about it
In my twenties I did not want to have kids. Still do not really want them (even though I have one and one on the way). I think this goes for most guys. Men do not have the biological imperative to procreate like women have. We just want to spread semen around 
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Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...
A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.
 
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,332
Loc: subtropics
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: Tripsurfer]
#22982117 - 03/07/16 10:12 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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WOW, still "really don't want them" and yet you have 1 and 1 on the way?  This is what really baffles me about people and them having kids. You're just going along with it because,oh well, might as well do it, everyone else is? You love that person (GF/wife) so much you are sacrificing what you really want? Pussy is a helluva drug! Congratulations and good luck by the way, you're a much braver man than I. I mean it truly, not in a sarcastic way. I respect most people that have kids, it's the ultimate commitment. Just be the best parent you can be.
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover
Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#22982124 - 03/07/16 10:15 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Sometimes I daydream about busting into a pedophile human trafficking ring and machine gunning everyone involved so I can rescue all the little children and set them free.
Sort of like the Catcher in the Rye.
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In dust we trust
PCP Saved My Life
Registered: 12/02/15
Posts: 2,013
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#22982137 - 03/07/16 10:19 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
WOW, still "really don't want them" and yet you have 1 and 1 on the way? This is what really baffles me about people and them having kids. You're just going along with it because,oh well, might as well do it, everyone else is? You love that person (GF/wife) so much you are sacrificing what you really want? Pussy is a helluva drug! Congratulations and good luck by the way, you're a much braver man than I. I mean it truly, not in a sarcastic way. I respect most people that have kids, it's the ultimate commitment. Just be the best parent you can be.
Thats the thing, when it really comes down to it, people just do it because it's "normal" and thats what "you're supposed to do"
It just amazes me how many people can't just think for themselves and live life basically as a zombie
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,332
Loc: subtropics
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: Great Scott]
#22982140 - 03/07/16 10:21 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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FUCK YEAH! I'll back you on that! They never get severe punishment! There are drug offenses that are more harsh than a molestation case. If we immediately shot them in the head when found guilty, I believe it would cut down on it a bit, Shot on sight no matter where they were on the planet I say. This subject is an entirely different thread though! Great segue.
People should adopt more, but not me,lol. I think the laws about gays adopting are stupid as well. Hell so many people want to adopt and they can't. Again another thread.
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,332
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
In dust we trust said:
Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
WOW, still "really don't want them" and yet you have 1 and 1 on the way? This is what really baffles me about people and them having kids. You're just going along with it because,oh well, might as well do it, everyone else is? You love that person (GF/wife) so much you are sacrificing what you really want? Pussy is a helluva drug! Congratulations and good luck by the way, you're a much braver man than I. I mean it truly, not in a sarcastic way. I respect most people that have kids, it's the ultimate commitment. Just be the best parent you can be.
Thats the thing, when it really comes down to it, people just do it because it's "normal" and thats what "you're supposed to do"
It just amazes me how many people can't just think for themselves and live life basically as a zombie
Some people cave to the pressure of family/friends/media/society. Some people actually don't get inheritances if they don't have kids. There are many goofy reasons why they do.
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover
Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#22982179 - 03/07/16 10:34 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
Some people actually don't get inheritances if they don't have kids. There are many goofy reasons why they do.
LOL that's fucked.
"Mommy, where do babies come from?"
"Well kiddo, they come from mommies and daddies who are trying to cash!"
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topdog82
Death Spirit
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 1 month, 25 days
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#22982181 - 03/07/16 10:35 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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I personally feel that most parents sort of regret having kids but they just don't say because its sort of fucked up. I don't want to be that guy
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,332
Loc: subtropics
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982193 - 03/07/16 10:40 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
topdog82 said:
I personally feel that most parents sort of regret having kids but they just don't say because its sort of fucked up. I don't want to be that guy
I agree! "Don't be that guy". I have met many women that do not want kids either, they are out there.
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topdog82
Death Spirit
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 1 month, 25 days
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
#22982214 - 03/07/16 10:51 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said:
Quote:
topdog82 said:
I personally feel that most parents sort of regret having kids but they just don't say because its sort of fucked up. I don't want to be that guy
I agree! "Don't be that guy". I have met many women that do not want kids either, they are out there.
Look I am just making the point that its really silly that people just ASSUME that they will have kids without questioning it
if I meet the right girl, and it feels right then I will do it. But if I don't I am perfectly fine just sort of hitting on young women, lifting and doing yoga for hours, playing guitar, becoming the best in my field in the world. These are options. I am about 60% leaning towards no kids. But theres 40% of me that open minded
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982223 - 03/07/16 10:54 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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I can only speak for myself here, but I've never regretted having my son. I do get a bit down when, for example, there's a show I want to go to in NYC at short notice and I can't go. I'm like, "damn, this baby is really cramping my style right now." But I've never thought, "damn, I wish this baby had never been born." To me, there's so much I've gained from parenthood that the sacrifices I make are a toll I gladly pay. I'm sure there are parents out there who do regret having kids, but those are shitty parents, deadbeats, etc. I think it's normal for parents to miss the freedoms they once had, the money, but I don't know how many of them feel that loss as a regret that their kid was ever born. I've certainly never felt it; as frustrating as fatherhood can be, nothing in my life has ever given me such joy.
I can tell you though, had I not waited until my mid 30s to do this, I might regret it. I don't know how people in their teens and early 20s have a kid without resentment over it. At that point in my life, I was partying, traveling, just doing whatever I wanted and loving it. But as time went on, I became excited for a new chapter in my life, one that isn't all about myself. But if I'd had a kid super young, I might not feel so excited about it.
And having kids young works for some people. I guess it all boils down to the individual.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982226 - 03/07/16 10:57 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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To address your last post: yeah, it's absurd to have kids just because "it's what people do". When I was your age, I swore I never wanted kids. But people change. Having kids is a big fuckin deal and should not be done with an "eh, whatever" attitude, or because of societal pressure. There's definitely something noble about NOT having kids too.
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topdog82
Death Spirit
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 1 month, 25 days
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22982230 - 03/07/16 10:58 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said:
I can only speak for myself here, but I've never regretted having my son. I do get a bit down when, for example, there's a show I want to go to in NYC at short notice and I can't go. I'm like, "damn, this baby is really cramping my style right now." But I've never thought, "damn, I wish this baby had never been born." To me, there's so much I've gained from parenthood that the sacrifices I make are a toll I gladly pay. I'm sure there are parents out there who do regret having kids, but those are shitty parents, deadbeats, etc. I think it's normal for parents to miss the freedoms they once had, the money, but I don't know how many of them feel that loss as a regret that their kid was ever born. I've certainly never felt it; as frustrating as fatherhood can be, nothing in my life has ever given me such joy.
I can tell you though, had I not waited until my mid 30s to do this, I might regret it. I don't know how people in their teens and early 20s have a kid without resentment over it. At that point in my life, I was partying, traveling, just doing whatever I wanted and loving it. But as time went on, I became excited for a new chapter in my life, one that isn't all about myself. But if I'd had a kid super young, I might not feel so excited about it.
And having kids young works for some people. I guess it all boils down to the individual.
Well my issue is that I feel that if I want to get married and start having kids I would need a girl in her early 20's. I want them as young as I can legally/socially acceptable I can get them. I want the youngest possible girl because biologically thats ideal and also I want her to have as much energy to deal with my little dirty diaper maker 
But thanks for the input mate. I guess if all the right things all into place, then I will go ahead and do it. But I will do it only when I feel I have done what needs to be doneQuote:
Burke Dennings said:
To address your last post: yeah, it's absurd to have kids just because "it's what people do". When I was your age, I swore I never wanted kids. But people change. Having kids is a big fuckin deal and should not be done with an "eh, whatever" attitude, or because of societal pressure. There's definitely something noble about NOT having kids too.
yep. im glad I am not the only one. I am just saying that 70% of parents are really incompetent and I feel that you should only do it if you have really thought about it. I feel most people enter in with that attitude
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982234 - 03/07/16 10:59 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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You've got a good handle on this.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982237 - 03/07/16 11:01 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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If you do have a kid, make sure he gets 2.66 bassinets in the natal ward. 
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topdog82
Death Spirit
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 1 month, 25 days
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22982239 - 03/07/16 11:01 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said:
If you do have a kid, make sure he gets 2.66 bassinets in the natal ward.
Ill throw a fit if he doesn't
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,332
Loc: subtropics
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982259 - 03/07/16 11:08 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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You guys seem like good parent material! This is great! I wish more people really thought about having them as well. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but like burke said, you got a good handle on this. Waiting until 30's is a good idea too. I had a friend whose dad remarried and had a kid with a mid 20 year old in his late 40's-early 50's. So he had a baby brother when he was mid 20's.
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Still_tripping
Lord yes!
Registered: 10/07/15
Posts: 747
Loc: A small hot country
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: What would it be like not having kids? [Re: topdog82]
#22982290 - 03/07/16 11:21 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
topdog82 said:
Let's say I decided I don't want to have kids. What would this look like?
Wakeup, workout/yoga, work, come home...?
What would I do every evening? Is there anyone out there who is older and more experienced?
What would you do all day? I mean if I seriously just decided to not have kids I would lift like 2 hours a day and do yoga daily too. Eat a lot of food, play tons of guitar I guess. And sleep 8-9 hours a day. But that would get boring quick. Is there any solution here? Could not have kids and just not be bored?
I take it you must have kids since you seem to be totally at a loss as to what to do with free time without them.
I'm older, a lot older, and for most of my life I've had no kids around and believe me when I say there are lots of things to do to keep busy. Think back to a time when you didn't have kids and simply project that into a future. So what are the kinds of things you might find yourself doing? Well here's a part list of what I've done;
- married & divorced 3 times with I don't know how many GF's in between
- motorcycle through northern Thailand and Burma
- learn to fly micro lights
- fly through the Fish River canyon in Namibia (similar to the Grand Canyon)
- scuba dive the Caribbean, Florida, Vietnam, Zanzibar
- travel around Mongolia, Africa, China, Vietnam, South America
- teach & run a scuba diving shop on a small island in the Caribbean
- go on a safari through Tanzania
- four wheel through the northern mountains in Namibia on a week long trek
So yes there are lots of things to do without having to watch an extra 2 hours of TV a night just because there are no kids.
That said 10 years ago I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful woman who had 2 boys, 3 and 14. Kids are fun because now I have someone to play with. The young one is now a very accomplished scuba diver at aged 13. The older one had a bike at 16 and they both went flying with me. The advantage was that as I was significantly older than most start with kids I was able to afford to bring them into my interests, something I couldn't have done in my 20's.
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