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 hex_enduction
satta massa gana
 
Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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 Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through?  [Re: Crystal G]
#22947630 - 02/26/16 07:39 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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I was gonna post my sob story but it ain't shit compared to what some of y'all have been through  y'all are tough to go through all that abuse.
This thread is too sad for me though, I have enough hatred for humanity as is
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Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs
sunshine said:
Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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LeningradCowboy
Yes, my name is you?
Registered: 08/01/15
Posts: 1,962
Loc: Siperia underground
Last seen: 3 months, 4 days
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: Masked]
#22947645 - 02/26/16 07:47 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you.
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From tundra with love!
FREE HAMHEAD 2020!
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana
Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: LeningradCowboy]
#22947653 - 02/26/16 07:52 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
LeningradCowboy said:
waking up from nap and find out that my partner has hanged herself on next room.......Not nice, not nice at all......
Opiates involved...................
This was truly horrible to hear sounds like something out of a really sad Iggy Pop song
I hope things are better these days  The opiate situation over in Russia sounds like some truly dark shit
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Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs
sunshine said:
Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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 Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,655
Last seen: 11 seconds
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: LeningradCowboy]
#22948166 - 02/26/16 11:11 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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I think suicide is the most heartbreaking. Mostly because you think about what you could've done to stop it. After 4 suicides in my family in 2 years I now realize without watching someone 24/7 there isn't much even the closest family/friend can do.
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R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many 
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,655
Last seen: 11 seconds
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: hex_enduction]
#22948173 - 02/26/16 11:13 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
hex_enduction said:
I was gonna post my sob story but it ain't shit compared to what some of y'all have been through y'all are tough to go through all that abuse.
This thread is too sad for me though, I have enough hatred for humanity as is
Hey shit happens in life. Doesn't mean you can't be in the mindset to make the rest of your life beautiful and live for the lost loved ones and to show cheating hoes that you can do way better.
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R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole
Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Roxy. College. Took a year to get over it. 20 years later she somehow found me. Mind you this is before there was an internet to speak of and my name is so fucking common you would get thousands and thousands of hits anyway. I have no idea how she did it. She was coming to NYC so I met her. Then I saw her in SF when I went to my sisters Reno wedding. She couldn't hurt me anymore. Until a few weeks ago when I found this.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/sfgate/obituary.aspx?pid=173228621
She was fucking gorgeous in college. That hair was orange.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings
Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: zappaisgod]
#22948404 - 02/26/16 12:20 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wow.. I see.. Sooo..
Basically.. met this girl at work.. beautiful and intelligent.. One day when walking back to my desk I slapped a sticky note on her desk that said, "You're gorgeous, SP". One of her coworkers seen me do it.. kind of funny because nobody was there on her account.. Anyways. She found it was me and we started talking soon after that. She ended up being a woman who goes to church all the time and prays. At the time my neurotin detox had just started to flare it's ugly head. So she would pray with me every night over the phone. I wasn't praying to God anymore as I had already given up faith.
So she brought me to her church.. and just being around her started being too much. I started to care for her. Then one she says.. "I'm married". She has two kids. I should have backed away but I didn't. We started hanging out more and more and one day we found ourselves holding hands. Some more months went on and I got sicker from coming off neurotin. Brutal agonizing withdrawals. Then one day. It was a moment I'll never forget. We took a good look at each other in her car before I was getting ready to go in my place. We sat there looking at each other for God knows how long then we started to kiss. Listen. I've had my fair share of kissing with women down here but this was different.
My heart felt like it was going to explode. I went in after that. 3 weeks later.. She brought me home from work.. We sat there yet again in her car with her in a revealing blue dress. My plan was to go in. It was hard not to. She took my hand and put it on her thigh. And here I am thinking to myself.. this is wrong and we should not do this. She thought the same. She kept apologizing. Next thing I know we were making out like never before. And I quickly realized this and got out. All that fucking week. All I was thinking about was that kiss. I had it. So I asked her if she wanted to come over that weekend.. She came over. We were watching a movie. I couldn't even keep my eyes on the screen just looking at her? Next thing you know it, it was happening. I had a sex few times but this was much different. What happened that night i'll never forget. Such passion. Such an emotional connection. She was the first I ate out.. She liked that stuff more than sex. Next thing you know. She comes over again the next weekend. We watched a movie and did it again. And this shit touched me so deep down. just writing this is making me go crazyyyy. I was cooking for her after sex. I'm an amazing cook btw. Giving her foot rubs. Temple massages. Foot rubs. Everything. Only because I cared for her that much. Then after that I ended up getting so sick coming off the neurotin I took myself to detox and treatment. She was the only one besides my dad I was talking to there.
Fast forward. I'm out of treatment and back in Georgia. A lot is going on with her husband and her it's getting out of control. I haven't mentioned him yet which I will now. She has been with guy for 5 years. The first 2 years were magical for them. After that he became harsh and started treated her like shit 24/7. Wayyy before I came into the picture she wanted to leave. It was a financial issue. She needed her mom to come from Jamaica to come take care of the kids because the husband was either working or not helping with that at all. Then would get the divorce. She also needed a better job. So back up. Let's talk more about the husband. 2 months into our relationship he starts getting more crazy than usual. For instance, she was going to work one day, this was towards the end. Her fucking brakes went out in her car with her kids in there and she ran right through a red light unable to stop. She calls this mother fucker and he just hangs up and leaves her there... That makes me furious beyond anything I can imagine.
Basically.. This guy has her on lock. Financially mainly. And she is only staying with him because of the kids. He started watching her phone records. She wanted a different phone and he wouldn't take her off the plan. He seen she talked to me for hours every week. So what this Jew dumb cock sucker do? He runs a background check on my number and some fucking guy who owned it before me pulls up. Apparently he is from delray and he is this hatian drug dealer who has been to prison many times. He presented this background check to her later on. He knew for a while about this. He knows it's not me now. I changed my number after that. He started looking at my facebook making fun of her for going with a white guy. I actually ran a check on myself just recently and there are no charges on my record since I haven't been in trouble in 7 years. Proooof.
Sooo he asks for his marriage back. And for a long time she prayed for this thing but then she started praying for us to be together. Soooo now. She went back. And I gotta sit and take it. All those months and weeks. Imagining a future. Saying she loved me. It means nothing now. I am not selfish anymore, you understand? If I really was I would show her husband her naked pictures or pictures with her panties in my mouth or pictures of us TOGETHER BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT WE DO. Not anymore. That is not the way of AA. The way of AA should have been don't fuck around with a married woman now I'm paying big time. Wish I could erase it out of my memory. I mean really.. I would stare into her eyes and get lost. Listen to me. I don't need sex with her. Just her company. Now he is improving and it's looking like it's gonna work out but you know something I HOPE IT DOES WORK because I'm not selfish. I would like to hope that family gets destroyed but that's not love.
8 months down the drain.. so much emotion invested into one person. I found myself lately pondering if I should go to the trap house and try heroin. I could try it to this song I always listen to and just drift away. I still got her panties. And other things that belong to her. I have a giant coloring book for her kids. She says. "Everything I've ever secretly desired you do for me." But you know. I'm glad she burned me. The pain is more than I can bare but I did this to myself. Now I gotta suck it up and keep going. I never had a first love. She was it.
I've just been in another world lately. And everyone in my life knows it. I can't even do simple tasks. I close my eyes I see her smile. I dream of her.. She always there I just want the thoughts to go away. I've just been going to meetings crying my eyes out because it's what you do. She says, if it doesn't work out this time, she'll leave. That gives me hope. I can't realize all hope is gone. All hope is gone. It needs to be. Or I'm going to be insane crazy and delusional. I've been debating on going back home to live with my dad. I won't have to worry about things going bad down here if I relapse. I need solitude. I need pain pills.
"We made decisions based on self that put us in a position to be hurt."
Here is what I get told all the time.. "You can have any girl you want" "You're very good looking and handsome."
BUT I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE I WANNNNT HEEEEEER..  
Ive never felt like this in my life.. not even with my mom. That's still tough I'm fucked up beyond repair. I'm counting down the days until I fuck up even more and take my first drink and drug. I don't give a fuck I'm pissed.
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Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
Edited by JustForToday (02/26/16 12:25 PM)
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings
Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: JustForToday]
#22948424 - 02/26/16 12:27 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
Edited by JustForToday (02/26/16 12:28 PM)
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana
Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: JustForToday]
#22948449 - 02/26/16 12:38 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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That's rough dude, but I'm sure you know as well as anyone that heroin isn't going to make shit any better. Anyone who has been heartbroken will tell you that there's one thing that will make the pain go away, and that's time.
Gabapentin wd sounds like fucking HELL too, major props for making it through all that. How long were you on the stuff?
Hope things look up for you soon. I'm pretty close to the brink myself and I hate seeing people as bad or worse than I am
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Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs
sunshine said:
Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings
Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: hex_enduction]
#22948457 - 02/26/16 12:41 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Neurontin was so bad almost as bad as Xanax.. The worst part was the insomnia, and the nausea. Anxiety out the ass too.
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Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana
Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: JustForToday]
#22948482 - 02/26/16 12:47 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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The time table of it all is what really scares the shit out of me. A slow ass taper and then weeks of brutal wd on par with heroin or Xanax... no thanks
That said. I'm considering getting my hands on some pregabalin to help me kick benzos, I don't plan on staying on it for more than a few weeks though
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Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs
sunshine said:
Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,836
Loc: Ottawa 
Last seen: 5 hours, 2 minutes
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: JustForToday]
#22948602 - 02/26/16 01:33 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
JustForToday said:
What happened and how did you make it? Interested to hear what people got to say..
There was this girl I kept as a friend with benefit. I didn't realize I fell for her until I lost her. It fucked with my head for 2-3 weeks..
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 Moonshoe
Blue Mantis
Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: JustForToday]
#22948618 - 02/26/16 01:38 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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For me worst was when I was in love with this gorgeous boy who had a boyfriend . It tore me up crazy bad because I was head over heels in love with the boy. I suffered a lot for months.
Eventually he left his boyfriend for me though, so it had a happy ending (pun intended)
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE
Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: Moonshoe]
#22948627 - 02/26/16 01:39 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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cum intended
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"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees
R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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r00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed
Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Worst heartbreak you've ever been through? [Re: Patlal]
#22948654 - 02/26/16 01:47 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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I got all this bullshit beat My GF/wanted to marry got terminal Cancer took 6 years in the bottom of a bottle to come to terms. Occasionally I think of going to her grave but I'm scared of what it will do to me. Will I just cry or will I go off the hook again? So I just don't.
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 Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings  And all time Champion thread killer.
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