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Offline2141zach
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Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 765
Last seen: 6 years, 22 days
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22924078 - 02/19/16 05:58 PM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
I got some freaky ass sleep paralysis last night. Bitch was whispering in my ear "ive choked people in their sleep before, i have no problem with it"

I was like "god will destroy you, help me god" lol

The demon went away and came back like 5 minutes later. She said something like "i got two more people while i was gone, god cant help you" or some shit like that.

Yes I actually had a conversation with a demon :eek:

I Hate how i can feel its breath on my face and hands on my neck. Shits so freaky




hey man ive had dp for 6 months and had lots of sleep paralysis too. Its gotten way better by the way how are you doing now? Any way the "demon" in one of my sleep paralysis visions kept repeating there is no light in here over and over. scary stuff I know exactly what you mean it gets better though.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22928372 - 02/20/16 10:37 PM (8 years, 4 days ago)

Still depersonalized. it comes in phases, but its always in the background. I'm used to it now though, I feel like I've always been this way, even though I know I haven't. I guess I've pretty much accepted it, and given in at this point and quit trying to "fight" it. It seems to get really bad at night.

I honestly find it hard to not blame drugs, even though I know how irresponsibly I used them. I started using them while my brain was still developing (like age 12-18 type shit). I guess I'm just suffering the long term damage of doing basically every fucking drug in existance while my brain was being developed. I started out on hard shit too, like opioids and benzos, not weed. And I used them a lot. Like nearly weekly, for a few years. I mean I didn't use only benzos and opioids weekly, I used everything I could get my little junkie hands on. Then I met a dude who had every type of stimulant imaginable, and thus began my 1 year long high on amphetamine :lol:. I mean really though, I was beyond addicted.

So, no success story here. I'm assuming, shit I'm willing to bet that for every waking moment for the rest of my life I'll suffer from DPD. Its just who I am now, 4 years. 4 years this fucking disorder has taken from me. I honestly wish I could go back and tell 12 year old me not touch a single drug until I've turned 18 and learned some self control. The only drug I actively use now is nicotine and I only use that because I dont have the willpower to quit.

Oh, and the sleep paralysis thing? Its a gift in disguise... I've had some amazing lucid dreams thanks to sleep paralysis.


Edited by xbloodwhipx (02/20/16 10:42 PM)


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Offline2141zach
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Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 765
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22928976 - 02/21/16 06:47 AM (8 years, 4 days ago)

Ya the sleep paralysis is interesting not necessarily a bad thing, I think its good it comes and goes in phases that means its leaving.:thumbup:


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Offline2141zach
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Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 765
Last seen: 6 years, 22 days
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22930343 - 02/21/16 03:15 PM (8 years, 3 days ago)

Do you have those moments of clarity every once in awhile that seems normal for a sec or two? Also have you smoked weed or used psychedelics while you had DP just wondering hope you don't mind if I ask. I smoked weed for a while occasionally but have stopped. Im thinking of using kratom occasionally for anxiety. Hope you feel better soon man, don't give up.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Registered: 05/28/04
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22931041 - 02/21/16 06:04 PM (8 years, 3 days ago)

Sleep paralysis is the condition where you are primed and ready for an out of body experience.

Whenever you find yourself in sleep paralysis, visualize and intend to float up out of your body.


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Offline2141zach
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Registered: 05/24/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22931067 - 02/21/16 06:13 PM (8 years, 3 days ago)

Yes I plan on doing so in the future I experience it pretty frequently I guess compared to most people.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Registered: 07/16/10
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22933579 - 02/22/16 01:14 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

didn't read any of the other comments, but ya DP goes away. I had it for a year or two. STOP SMOKING WEED. Number one move that reduced it. Weed reacts badly with some

Vaping and edible don't cause it as much. Stay and healthy and patient. Eat healthy, sleep on time, and excercise. Maybe see a therapist and socialize here and there

DP fucking SUCKSSSSSS. I think ketamine and MXE also activate it. Just stay sober honestly. Kratom helped in a wierd way


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OfflineTheMovement
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Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22933582 - 02/22/16 01:15 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Weed sucks too.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: TheMovement]
    #22933591 - 02/22/16 01:19 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
Weed sucks too.



ya i got bored with it. Smoked it for 2 years straight. IDK why I just dont enjoy it. My highs got dull and boring


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Offline2141zach
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Registered: 05/24/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22933634 - 02/22/16 01:42 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

I know what you mean but I smoked a little today I feel like it helps if I accept the high instead of fighting because it causes me to turn inwards.


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OfflineTheMovement
faeirie princess in training
I'm a teapot


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22933641 - 02/22/16 01:44 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
Quote:

TheMovement said:
Weed sucks too.



ya i got bored with it. Smoked it for 2 years straight. IDK why I just dont enjoy it. My highs got dull and boring



Yeah the high starts to suck.  I only enjoy it at shows really :shrug:

It's just so god damn boring and lethargic.


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: TheMovement]
    #22933693 - 02/22/16 01:55 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Ya it gets repetitive almost immature compared to psychedelics but thc and cbd are so good for you. I also have trouble resisting when I'm bored. But I know what you mean about getting boring.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach] * 1
    #22933979 - 02/22/16 03:30 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

weed at this point in time is like smokable down syndrome for like 4 hours. I just go from functional and awake to dumb in seconds


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22934003 - 02/22/16 03:37 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Ya thats basically what I feel like right now lol.


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Offline2141zach
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22934262 - 02/22/16 04:36 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

This kratom is helping though, some nice bali on sale however i think im done with weed for good now. unfortunately


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22934953 - 02/22/16 07:05 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

kratom is the only drug i use other than nicotine. and its very infrequently.


anyway,

Quote:

2141zach said:
Do you have those moments of clarity every once in awhile that seems normal for a sec or two? Also have you smoked weed or used psychedelics while you had DP just wondering hope you don't mind if I ask. I smoked weed for a while occasionally but have stopped. Im thinking of using kratom occasionally for anxiety. Hope you feel better soon man, don't give up.




I do have moments of clarity, but thats normally before the DP hits me really hard. Most of the time I'm inbetween normal and depersonalized. So it got a lot more mild then it used to be.

Thanks for the kind words :smile:

I've smoked a lot of weed, and weed is what gave me my first true depersonalization feelings. I smoked a 1.5 gram joint really quick after not smoking awhile back in 2012, and I still remember that high. I literally lost complete control of my actions. It wasnt laced and people normally dont believe me and call me a pussy, and say "weed cant do that", but I was literally blacked out from intense anxiety and an extreme high, and felt nonexistant. Different from ego death, it was like a really bad nightmare.

I also tripped a few times on shrooms. never really made my depersonalization worse strangely.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: topdog82]
    #22934964 - 02/22/16 07:09 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
didn't read any of the other comments, but ya DP goes away. I had it for a year or two. STOP SMOKING WEED. Number one move that reduced it. Weed reacts badly with some

Vaping and edible don't cause it as much. Stay and healthy and patient. Eat healthy, sleep on time, and excercise. Maybe see a therapist and socialize here and there

DP fucking SUCKSSSSSS. I think ketamine and MXE also activate it. Just stay sober honestly. Kratom helped in a wierd way




The thing is, I almost forgot this, It was literally gone for most of 2015. Occasional panic attacks, but never a constant depersonalized feeling. Then in like august I started smoking everyday for what the fuck ever reason and smoked from like august-october. I was getting my old highs again, like how weed felt before DP (relaxed trippyness, cool headspace). Then boom, I smoke one day and slip back into DP.


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Offline2141zach
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Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 765
Last seen: 6 years, 22 days
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22934992 - 02/22/16 07:18 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Thats weird cause everything from alcohol to weed feels different, you didn't have problems with shrooms though? That kinda makes sense there more stimulating.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Registered: 07/16/10
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22935068 - 02/22/16 07:40 PM (8 years, 2 days ago)

meditation did wonders for my DP. But weed is enemy #1. Has your DP improved since posting this two years ago? If so how much?

Also, I just wanna say I can relate. I have had DP for years and its like a dark cartoon. Fucking sucks. You will get through it


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 2141zach]
    #22936429 - 02/23/16 07:33 AM (8 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

2141zach said:
Thats weird cause everything from alcohol to weed feels different, you didn't have problems with shrooms though? That kinda makes sense there more stimulating.




No problems from shrooms but that was probably because I was already seriously depersonalized the first time I tripped, and had never experienced shrooms before DP so i couldnt compare it to anything


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