i couldn't really imagine trying to define myself in words, I have a hard enough time trying to express my feelings with these things. you are who you are partly because of how you handeled life on a day to day basis. To me this is the essence of building character. I think your character will partly show to others. people can get an idea of who you are, a really good idea even, but never really know.
so then I am left with myself. how do I be myself? I think that this question need to be answered with a deep breath and a clear mind. to me, a person is being themselves when they stop trying to think about whothey are and what they are doing, and rather do it. to be yourself, you need to experience yourself.
anyone ever see the movie "About Schmidt" basically it's about a person who tries to find himself at a very old age? lots of people have said this (especially in these midlife crisis), when in fact things change all the time. a sitaution arised finally that forced him to look at himself in a different way. he tries to be something else, when in fact, he could be everything and only decides to look at one specific aspect. we need to look at the whole picture, and that is complex. I change a lot and change often, how could I pinpoint myself with a few words?
my views on god have changed in the past 3 years. my views of god definately affect my character, and my opinions of things. since this one view has changed, so has my character (jsut a tad) and so has some of my opinions.
I guess just try to stop complicating things and stop forcing myself to be one thing more than I already have to. yes I think society severely limits how many choices we get. I remember playing a video game "knights of the old republic." when you talked to somone, you had a variety of choices of things to say, but of course I could not type what I really wanted to say. if you said one certain thing, you get light side points, or you could get dark side points. You character, copuld change many times, and it does, especially if a situation arises that threatens your life.
I sometimes find myself surprised by what I say. Like sometimes I would say something, and realize that I had never had that type of thought before. just guess I have to realize that I have the ability to be anything, it's just depends on the situation that will determine how I act.
-------------------- Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.
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Wow... fucking good posts, all around!
Every single moment we've been here and every experience we have had end up contributing to who we are. We are a sponge, we absorb it all. Not only that, but we can take the information we have sucked in and we can arrange it and label it and give meaning to it towards whatever end... We find that we like playing music but not being out in the snow naked....
So everything we've picked up with these senses and what we do with it in our mind makes us who we are. We "see" the world and we make a map of it in our mind. It becomes who we are.
So ja, we play a part in creating who we are.. but who we create ourselves as all depends on what was put into us and what is still being put into us. Regardless of whether or not we are actually conscious of creating ourselves... we are still making decisions based on what we have been given to make decisions and those decisions are continuing to contribute to who we are.
How many people make every choice while acknowledging that it is creating who they are? Wouldn't we then truly living like we wanted to? And, obviously, how we want to live is being determined by what we have experienced before... life is a complex maze like that and most people get stuck in it... living through ideas of who they are from the past and everything...
There is always the moment right now and all things obviously will change, and yesterday's model of the world is no longer valid because yesterday has flown into today.. we might be where we are right now because of yesterday, but it is today's choices that get us to tomorrow... and shit...
Its a balancing act. I've had a lot of different and even conflicting experience... I could take what is in me and go in any direction with it that I chose. Awhile back I chose which direction I wanted to push myself in and every moment since then has at least somewhat revolved around heading in that direction (depending on which moment. )... now there is a lot of momentum and it defines me when I used to not be definable....
Who I am is not in which direction I am going, but what direction I am going really contributes a lot to who I am, because I've had so much experience towards it... What you think ends up setting who you are in stone, because what we think defines our experiences and what they contribute to us... Just because you have had to walk ditches and pick up trash doesn't mean you enjoyed it or seek to do it more! (personal preference, as some people adopt highways... but that is the point! hehe)
If you are ever blessed with the necessary input to be able to try out self reflection and to truly think, then you have been blessed.
Oh, and to add, I also think that everything we identify with here isn't TRULY us, and that no matter how much something about us is "set in stone", it isn't really set in stone... everything is open for change, and if change pulls you in a different direction, then hey, stop holding onto dead ideas and go with the flow! Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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