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Offlineshivas.wisdom
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did the buddha ever feel sad?
    #22740546 - 01/05/16 04:38 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

people often say i look happy--"bet always has a smile on his face”--and i find it tragically hilarious because i think i'm actually pretty darn sad--or... maybe just 'not-happy'--i‘ve never quite been sure if those two are the same thing--but i definitely don't feel happy all of the time so i wonder how this concept of me being the 'happy guy' came around--am i just better at keeping my sadness hidden from the outside world?--or maybe i don‘t know what it really means to be depressed, like the guy in california who breaks out the winter jacket without frost ever even making an appearance--and this is why my thoughts often turn to whether the buddha ever felt sad, because it provides a third alternative--that yes, i am sad--but that this doesn't have to prevent me from being happy--and i think that's the one i prefer

i've spent most of my adult life alone, not sure if folks realize this--and tho rarely was i ever literally alone (perhaps a couple of weeks at most) in this world of cell phones and instant messaging, it's normal for days to go by without me coming into any meaningful social contact--and so i often wonder if perhaps the tip o'the iceberg that folks get to see of me is the happy joyful and energetic soul i'm known for--and i just hold back my own tired sadness until all eyes are eventually off me--and i can see how this could end up as a little vicious cycle of sorts--i put on a smile because i'm gonna actually be hanging out with my friends today, only to have them comment on how great i am to be around, since i’m always so happy, so that when the next time comes up where i go out and socialize, i'm likely to not want to prevent others happiness by letting them see my sadness, so instead i'll focus on the parts of me that are happy, and so on...--rinse and repeat--and to a large extent, this doesn't even bother me--i'm still aware, personally, of my sadness--i'm not ignoring it--but i don't see any immediate solution either, what with being related to existential dilemmas, and so i see no reason to burden others with an awareness of suffering they can't relieve--in my case, misery doesn't like company--and sometimes i think that it's only because i have truly experienced sorrow--a sadness deeper than most are aware is inside me--that i'm able to find limitless reserves of compassion and loving-kindness within-gthat i can happily increase my suffering a thousandfold if this would only lessen the sadness of those around me-gi don't know how to end my own sadness, but it's easier to bear knowing that i've helped others to not feel the same way

but at the end of the day, when i say goodbye to friends and return to my life of solitude, the only individual left to be recipient of my compassion is... my self--and so for the majority of my time this is what i do--allowing the seeds of compassion to root thru my being so as to provide others with the beautiful flowers--but it can be lonely--i guess sometimes i just wish to hear someone ask me "gee bet, you look sad today--what's wrong?”--but this almost never happens--why?--am i really hiding it so well?--because thru this writing i've convinced my self that it most definitely isn't the second option of not knowing sadness--and i can't really answer this question because i don‘t understand the subtleties of social interaction--i'm pretty much a book, open for everything to be read or closed--but i‘ve learnt over the years that most people aren't exactly like this, rather operating across a spectrum of half truths and unsaid implications--heck, sarcasm goes over my head, i never even had a chance keeping up--and so maybe what passes for tenuous concealment in my mind is actually an autoclave of emotion--or maybe folks do recognize my sadness, and i just fail to recognize their overtures-'but if it was the latter, wouldn't it be safe to assume that at least some folks would increase the obviousness of their approach rather than assuming i was blissful in my ignorance-'but beyond a couple lotus blossoms from spain reminding me that ”there is nothing missing”, this hasn't happened--a compliment i was given once (and a complement is how i took it) explained how i was the kinda person you didn't have to wait for--and well, i think, that sums up how most of my friends feel--bet is there if you need help, but don't worry about helping bet--and i can‘t but blame my self, because nothing is stopping me from simply asking for help--but it's dangerous to open up an autoclave while it's still under pressure--my past is dotted with a few markers where an attempt to open up and heal only ended up burning me and those i was closest to--and it gets harder and harder to open up each successive time, because i worry for a possible future where i may shut my self off even from my self, rather than keep repeating past failures over and over i again--and so, in all honesty, tho i've not closed my self off to hope, i‘ve come to accept that perhaps my path in life is one of loneliness--that i'm not meant to share such a bond with another human being-'and that, tho this does mean that my life will not include some things that perhaps i once thought it would eventually come to include, it has also allowed me to have my own unique experience in life and make me the person i am today--and ican be happy with that

it's a hard truth, but one i recognize, that my lives of wandering and loneliness go hand in hand--the fact that i'm lonely is also the reason i'm able to wander freely, without feeling homesick or missing loved ones--i've gone all over the land, from the peaks of mountains down to deepest valleys, and have grown to feel comfortable amongst these wild places; but the landscape of a woman, i fear i've forgotten--if ever i knew--and i'm apprehensive to touch or be touched, the sensation is so unfamiliar--what else is there for me to do but move on,  hoping things will be different over the next horizon-'and so move on i have, and beautiful moments i've lived, and it's really not so bad-'maybe it's just my way of mentally handling it, but i really don't think anything in this dualistic universe of ours is solely good or bad--and often, the bad is even required to make the good 'good'--it's a balancing act but--whaddya know?--it's my experience that each life has enough good to balance out the bad, only sometimes we choose to focus on the bad to the point that we become blind to the good--and so, i guess that i rather focus on the fact that my past has been filled with so many varied experiences, and that my future holds so many more--glimpsing beauty in my present surroundings more often than not--it gives a nicer feeling than musing over the depths of my loneliness does--i mean, my life won't miraculously change along with my viewpoint--but you'd be surprised at the wonders a changed mind can have on your daily life-'it's working for me apparently, because i'm pretty sure i love my life--and i'm not even really that alone, i know i have many friends who care about me--i've just learned to stop feeling bad about not finding a specific bond that my mind has built up as existing, and instead learnt to appreciate my friends for who they are, do everything i can to help them while our paths run parallel, treasure our moments together, and then hold no regrets when our paths one day separate-'but, even so, i still feed sad sometimes

and this leads me to another difficult truth of the life that i've been dealt-'i am sad, i don't have anyone i'm able to show this too, and so i'm driven to create or go insane--i’ve grown too fearful to open up that autoclave of a heart while others are present anymore--instead, i reveal my emotions just to my self when i'm all alone--doing everything i can to find their expression in a physical medium--transferring that emotional energy out of me in the process--before closing back up and reentering society--maybe even to share the final outcome of those terrible mental reactions-'and i can't help but reflect on the fact that my travels, fuelled by the same force behind my drive to create, neatly furnishes my mind with a deep pool of countless experiences in order to inspire me in the act of creation--translating my own personal awareness of joy and beauty into something that's able to inspire joy and beauty in others--my sadness even turned into a gentle poignancy-'and so do i even want to stifle my sadness?--maybe i can truly be happy while still being painfully aware of my sadness--and that it is just the unique combo required to push someone into the life of wandering poet--and well, i really do enjoy my life and value every moment--the ups and downs--so should i look more to understanding sorrow as intimately as i do joy-gor could i still live this life of mine ifi wasn't lonely at my core?

and this is why i wonder about the buddha...-'i know he started out sad-'his awareness of suffering is what put him on his own path--but did he eventually come to transcend this sadness, or did he just learn to understand the need for sorrow in life-'did he experience sadness without attachment, or did his non-attachment destroy sadness?

and i don't really know how to figure out this answer besides meditating on the self...

and to keep on wandering...


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22740861 - 01/05/16 05:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

The Buddha experienced compassion.  I doubt being in multitudes of ecstasy is at all sad.

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: Morel Guy]
    #22740896 - 01/05/16 05:55 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Of course he did. He was human.

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22741066 - 01/05/16 06:26 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

whether we answer a simple yes or know won't deal with your feelings
and meditation works, but 99%, of the time not quickly
so in the meantime if healthy one can do some volunteer work, etc.
some people find this guy Noah Elkrief helpful

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUmIWUO-oHqQIPFbwDfTjWA


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Offlineshivas.wisdom
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: Morel Guy]
    #22741171 - 01/05/16 06:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Morel Guy said:
The Buddha experienced compassion.  I doubt being in multitudes of ecstasy is at all sad.



compassion is not a state of ecstasy tho, but a form of love that arrises thru a deep understanding of suffering (at least as i understand it)


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Offlineshivas.wisdom
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: GoldenEye]
    #22741182 - 01/05/16 06:52 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Of course he did. He was human.



i agree,

and this is why i wonder about the buddha...--i know he started out sad--his awareness of suffering is what put him on his own path--but did he eventually come to transcend this sadness, or did he just learn to understand the need for sorrow in life--did he experience sadness without attachment, or did his non-attachment destroy sadness?

i'm not sure how to go about answering this question


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Offlineshivas.wisdom
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: laughingdog]
    #22741224 - 01/05/16 07:00 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

laughingdog said:
whether we answer a simple yes or know won't deal with your feelings
and meditation works, but 99%, of the time not quickly
so in the meantime if healthy one can do some volunteer work, etc.
some people find this guy Noah Elkrief helpful

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUmIWUO-oHqQIPFbwDfTjWA




yea, i try to keep my self occupied--helps to avoid those downward cycles of rumination

and i don't think a yes or no answer will solve anything, and to be honest, i already think that the buddha did feel sad--i guess that is more the title of this essay, rather than the penultimate question

the question i think i'm more focused on is 'did he experience sadness without attachment, or did his non-attachment destroy sadness?', because the answer to this question will strongly influence the question of how i should respond to my own sadness

as it stands now, i don't know if i should expect sadness to one day go away, or if it will always be present in this existence and i just need to learn to accept it


will definitely be checking out those videos you linked tho, thanks


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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22741315 - 01/05/16 07:17 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I take my view point partly from Shinzen Young who has both a website and youtube videos. As I understand it progress in meditation occurs in stages, first concentration is developed concurrently with a background diffuse focus; then after awhile various things occur such as insight into impermanence, and also occasional bliss states, and generally greater happiness---but all this eventually matures out into equanimity.
Long before we reach this stage, meditation already begins to show a way to experience feelings without so much aversion/repression, or attraction/clinging. They are just another (somewhat out of control, like all phenomenon) passing and changing perception.
I recommend  both Shinzen and Culadasa (who have websites & youtube sites) are westerners with both scientific and  meditative knowledge and are non sectarian, on this subject for more accurate answers.

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Offlineshivas.wisdom
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: laughingdog]
    #22741368 - 01/05/16 07:28 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

thanks for the imput, i'll check them out and report back


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: GoldenEye]
    #22742285 - 01/05/16 11:25 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Of course he did. He was human.





Exactly. Siddhartha of the Gautama clan was a historical human being. As such, he must have experienced the full range of human emotions. His teaching was about not becoming inordinately attached to one's emotions, or to anything else except perhaps the Dharma and the Sangha as vehicles for non-attachment.  In many Zen monasteries, there is no image of a Buddha in the rock garden, but sometimes just a large rock - formless when compared to the artistic form of a carved stone Buddha. So even attachment to the historical Buddha is discouraged. Thus the saying: "If you see the Buddha on the road, kill him."


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #22742341 - 01/05/16 11:47 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

A monk asked Yün-men, "What is Buddha?" [雲門因僧問如何是佛]
Yün-men said, "Dried shitstick." [門云乾屎橛]


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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom] * 1
    #22742354 - 01/05/16 11:51 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

You are inordinately attached to the emotions of sadness and loneliness. I do not think that you are familiar with the concept of the "Pain Body" as explicated by Eckhart Tolle in his amazingly helpful book The Power of Now. If indeed you are seeking relief for your woes, and I do not automatically assume that you are, you should read Tolle's writings on the "Pain Body." However, as a clinical hypnotherapist for many years, I have seen too many individuals who identify so completely with their pain that they choose against losing it! It gives some people a sense of specialness, like the Vietnam veteran who limped for 40 years from an injury long since healed. His leg hadn't hurt in decades, but if I helped him to stop limping people would stop asking why he limped, and he would not be able to boast that he was a wounded war veteran! :eek: Unbelievable! The result is that now he REALLY limps because all that feigned limping ruined his hip joint!

The EMO[tional] adolescents I used to counsel romanticized their sadness, loneliness, angst, and depression, and often received shit-loads more attention for their sad demeanor. They dressed the part to identify themselves (until school uniforms prevented that). All I know of you is what you've written, but you seem to be luxuriating in your loneliness rather than languishing in it. :shrug: So what is it, pro or con? I've experienced lots of loneliness in my life. In my first 39 years on the planet 1/3 was married to the wrong woman and that was a whole different kind of loneliness - loneliness while cohabiting. I had painfully few friends in childhood, never a girlfriend til near the end of college, more loneliness and living alone after that, and more still after my divorce. I have been blessed with a loving wife for the last 19 years, but I am an Introverted Thinker in an Extraverted Feeling culture. Maybe you are similar. I don't fit in with Miami culture, but I'm more a man out of time, than of place. I have discovered though that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. They are differentiated by pleasurable and painful states of mind. Neutrality can be achieved, but again, I don't know whether you're bitching or boasting. If you choose not to open up to friends, find a therapist to help you sort out the problem. Meanwhile, there is some self-help in this:



--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

Edited by MarkostheGnostic (01/06/16 07:45 PM)

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #22742374 - 01/05/16 11:59 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

judging from my inward reaction to reading your post,  i'm gonna have to reflect on what you've just written--i think you've hit pretty close to home


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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22742706 - 01/06/16 03:33 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

enlightenment isn't happiness, supreme bliss or any of that.

The 'bliss' is satori, its superficial, in my experience, you become an unofficial master of the universe for maybe 1-3 months.

Than tragedy usually strikes, and that superficial bliss turns into spiritual introspection...

and then it just keeps going.

The enlightened are on a path, of never-ending initiation to the cosmos.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom] * 1
    #22742812 - 01/06/16 05:19 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

your main question is this:

Quote:

the question i think i'm more focused on is 'did he experience sadness without attachment, or did his non-attachment destroy sadness?', because the answer to this question will strongly influence the question of how i should respond to my own sadness




There is no evidence Siddhartha Gautama existed. So I would really dig that and not hero worship. it is absurd and quite ugly to imagine someone never felt sad again. Sadness is part of life. I am surprised you include this idea because earlier you said something like you can't appreacte the good unless you know bad and vice verse. Exactly, to be REALLY non dualistic is not going 'beyond' sadness and joy, good and bad, whatever that would even mean. It is deeply understanding that you cannot have sad without joy, good without bad, darkness without light, death without life and vice verse. This mystery which is life is not conflicting opposites or opposites to be transcended, but dynamic living reality which is forever changing, forever alive and not static and dead like the rigid concept you can only have one part of a dynamic -eg only have 'ternal life', or in secular concepts 'when your dead your dead'

Ec~static is a state of being, most often inspired with the help of psychedelics, when you suddenly see and feel and understand beyond the static conceptual matrix. See beyond what religious and cultural conditioning (both East and West) as instilled in you since you were little. Cultures that make you have to play roles, wear MASKS. Like you feel with this peer pressure to always have the goddamn smiley mask on when you really feel seriously sad and lost.

it is awaful when you have to live images others have of you, and this causes terrible ditress even leading to self-harm, addictions and even suicide. Another example is the poor kid whose parents push an image of them being a 'high achiever' in school when really the victim does not want their parents dream at ALL, but it is so drilled into them that even they often cannot acknowledge the contradiction but it causes deep distress nonetheless
Another one is the gay child trying to be 'straight' to please parents, friends, and society! And people in relationships who put on masks to pretend also

Forget 'Buddha'. IF he was real he was some cat with a totally different life living in totally different times (wasn't he supposed to be an ex-prince?!) different culture. You are a modern cat living in a more and more insane world of cell phones, video games, 'war on terror' BS, '9/11', threat of bombs raining down + nukes, threat of the very natural world being destroyed for all. I think it is insane for people NOT to feel sadness with what is going on. I worry more about people walking round all happy wappy and self-obsessed!! They are shallow and dead to me.

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: zzripz]
    #22743500 - 01/06/16 10:53 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

another approach
what goes on in your body when you are sad?
what is your body posture? Head position? depth of breathing? etc

now just for fun pretend to be happy, or be happy whatever...
What is your body posture? Head position? Depth of breathing? ETC

Go back and forth,
What is going on?

a zen type would tell you you have conceptualized Buddha!
When Monk sits upright in meditation posture
Monk is Buddha
sadness might pass like cloud
but sadness cannot be indulged when engaged in good Zazen
you are Buddha, manifest it


on another note Abraham Lincoln fought depression all his life, it was called melancholy then, he sure didn't let it stop him from accomplishing...

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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22745145 - 01/06/16 05:53 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

shivas.wisdom said:
Quote:

GoldenEye said:
Of course he did. He was human.



i agree,

and this is why i wonder about the buddha...--i know he started out sad--his awareness of suffering is what put him on his own path--but did he eventually come to transcend this sadness, or did he just learn to understand the need for sorrow in life--did he experience sadness without attachment, or did his non-attachment destroy sadness?

i'm not sure how to go about answering this question




if truly unattached, what would it matter whether there was sadness or not? one would not be sadness

or am I missing something :smile:

the fundamental problems the buddha hit in the story were old age, illness, and dying


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22745151 - 01/06/16 05:56 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

shivas.wisdom said:
Quote:

Morel Guy said:
The Buddha experienced compassion.  I doubt being in multitudes of ecstasy is at all sad.



compassion is not a state of ecstasy tho, but a form of love that arrises thru a deep understanding of suffering (at least as i understand it)





Ecstasy is a deep state of love and not talking MDMA here.

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OfflineKickleM
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: zzripz]
    #22745181 - 01/06/16 06:04 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

zzripz said:
your main question is this:

Quote:

the question i think i'm more focused on is 'did he experience sadness without attachment, or did his non-attachment destroy sadness?', because the answer to this question will strongly influence the question of how i should respond to my own sadness




There is no evidence Siddhartha Gautama existed. So I would really dig that and not hero worship. it is absurd and quite ugly to imagine someone never felt sad again. Sadness is part of life. I am surprised you include this idea because earlier you said something like you can't appreacte the good unless you know bad and vice verse. Exactly, to be REALLY non dualistic is not going 'beyond' sadness and joy, good and bad, whatever that would even mean. It is deeply understanding that you cannot have sad without joy, good without bad, darkness without light, death without life and vice verse. This mystery which is life is not conflicting opposites or opposites to be transcended, but dynamic living reality which is forever changing, forever alive and not static and dead like the rigid concept you can only have one part of a dynamic -eg only have 'ternal life', or in secular concepts 'when your dead your dead'

Ec~static is a state of being, most often inspired with the help of psychedelics, when you suddenly see and feel and understand beyond the static conceptual matrix. See beyond what religious and cultural conditioning (both East and West) as instilled in you since you were little. Cultures that make you have to play roles, wear MASKS. Like you feel with this peer pressure to always have the goddamn smiley mask on when you really feel seriously sad and lost.

it is awaful when you have to live images others have of you, and this causes terrible ditress even leading to self-harm, addictions and even suicide. Another example is the poor kid whose parents push an image of them being a 'high achiever' in school when really the victim does not want their parents dream at ALL, but it is so drilled into them that even they often cannot acknowledge the contradiction but it causes deep distress nonetheless
Another one is the gay child trying to be 'straight' to please parents, friends, and society! And people in relationships who put on masks to pretend also

Forget 'Buddha'. IF he was real he was some cat with a totally different life living in totally different times (wasn't he supposed to be an ex-prince?!) different culture. You are a modern cat living in a more and more insane world of cell phones, video games, 'war on terror' BS, '9/11', threat of bombs raining down + nukes, threat of the very natural world being destroyed for all. I think it is insane for people NOT to feel sadness with what is going on. I worry more about people walking round all happy wappy and self-obsessed!! They are shallow and dead to me.




I was reading this post and it struck me: I used to be very open with my emotions. To positive response, generally. Sadness was out and open, happiness, frustration, anxiety. It didn't matter to me. But at some point I stopped being selfish about it and started focusing on making other people's days better. And that led to me smiling and being happy for the sake of others. Not for me, but for others. To smile and see someone smile back is MUCH better IME than to frown at someone because I had a crummy morning and I have the ability to connect and bring them into that. I'd rather connect and have them beam! Not exclusively but generally.

Just saying, I don't follow all of your post for that reason.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: did the buddha ever feel sad? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #22745635 - 01/06/16 07:47 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

shivas.wisdom said:
judging from my inward reaction to reading your post,  i'm gonna have to reflect on what you've just written--i think you've hit pretty close to home




Namaste.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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