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OfflinePhluck
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Bitterness towards the opposite sex.
    #2271330 - 01/25/04 12:58 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

A lot of people seem to develop this.

There's a general feeling that the opposite sex are silly, shallow, and generally the cause of all relationship problems.

The specifics of the complaints depend on which side you're on, but you'll hear them either way.

It seems nobody wants to take the blame for screwing anything up. Both sides are equally responsible, but the cries of "all men are pigs" or "women are selfish bitches" are relentless.

Why won't anyone consider the idea that maybe EVERYONE is flawed? Most people seem pretty quick to point out that the relationship problems had nothing to do with them, they were absolutely perfect, it was their partner that fucked them over. It seems fairly obvious to an observer that their anger over a failed relationship is causing them to lash out at their ex... but when the same observer is in that position, they have trouble accepting the idea that it wasn't entirely their partner's fault.

Instead of whining about the shortcomings of the opposite sex, perhaps you should try to find your own flaws and correct them.

It may be a little harder to think of yourself critically than it is to criticize others, but it's certainly far more beneficial.


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"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271335 - 01/25/04 01:01 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

It seems nobody wants to take the blame for screwing anything up.

Welcome to the world of Humans :smirk:

I'm not sure what else to say here, phluck, as you hit the nail smack on the head! Everyone should learn self-criticism before they learn to criticize others...


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Anonymous

Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271371 - 01/25/04 01:19 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

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OfflineFrog
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271385 - 01/25/04 01:22 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I agree. And it's really hard to have to look at yourself and admit to your own flaws.

I have been really fortunate that, for some reason, I don't extrapolate my failed relationships onto the human race. I still like men, in general. It's actually women I tend to have a problem with.

But I have met people who are bitter about the opposite sex because of a failed relationship. It's sad. What part of human nature is it that causes one to hate a whole gender for the transgressions of one member of that gender?


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Anonymous

Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Frog]
    #2271403 - 01/25/04 01:31 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: ]
    #2271412 - 01/25/04 01:32 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

:lol:


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InvisibleEvolving
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271419 - 01/25/04 01:35 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

It is natural to choose the easy way. It's emotionally easier to pick out perceived flaws in another than to honestly and objectively examine ourselves.


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To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: ]
    #2271420 - 01/25/04 01:35 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

  :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271426 - 01/25/04 01:36 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah... most people will probably agree with this, but you're still going to hear those people criticizing the opposite sex.

I was just thinking of a kind of bitterness towards women that many men harbour.

I think the combination of being raised to believe that women are pure and wholesome, and men's sexual frustration causes them to resent women for being attractive and sexual. A woman seeking sexual pleasure is a "slut". Women who dress sexy are vain and inviting sexual harassment... or if you want to be more PC, they're insecure and frightened of being themselves (either way there MUST be something wrong with them). This is generally fairly subtle, but it can manifest itself in more extremes, like forcing women to wear burkhas, or punishing women who have been raped.

There. That oughta add a little controversy.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271458 - 01/25/04 01:46 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Women who dress sexy are vain and inviting sexual harassment...

I was roller blading with my younger sister some years back in Newport Beach. She is gorgeous. She looks like that blond model, Christine Brinkley. She's 5'7", about 125 lbs., blond hair, blue-green eyes.

She was dressed in shorts and a halter top. Some guy, coming from the other direction with his friends, yelled out to me, "You're friend isn't as hot as she thinks she is!"

Of course, I gave the appropriate middle-finger salute.

But my sister, while having some other problems in my opinion, is not the type to "flaunt" herself. She is cute, she wears clothes that, on her, accentuate her sexiness. On an uglier, fatter woman, they'd just be clothes.

So why did this guy have to say that? It's his perception? His insecurities? And even if my sister wanted to dress sexy, so?

I like to wear sexy clothes. I like to feel sexy. I am a woman, and glad that I'm a woman. I think that people who try to downplay their sexiness have a problem.

When I go to court, I like to be a woman, not a man. I see so many women who are attorneys who downplay their femininity. (Sp?) I did that at first, also.

Now, I like to wear dresses, and nylons, and short skirts, and make-up and nail polish and be feminine, not man-ish and brusque, although I can be.

I see females that wear no make-up and they wear men's clothes, with low shoes, not heels. I love when I see a female attorney walk into court dressed in a sexy manner, almost looking like she's going to a party. It shows me that she's confident about herself, that she can dress like that, and has nothing to prove.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleEvolving
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271559 - 01/25/04 02:33 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Phluck said:
Women who dress sexy are vain and inviting sexual harassment...



What is deemed 'sexy' is in the mind of the perceiver. My wife is a strikingly beautiful woman (ask Swami). What appears 'sexy' on her wouldn't elicit a second glance on some other women. She doesn't intentionally dress 'sexy,' but if you were to gauge the responses of men that see her, you would quickly realize that they often perceive her as being dressed 'sexy.' I suppose this is why the Burkha was designed.


--------------------
To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.


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InvisibleAnnapurna1
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271581 - 01/25/04 02:42 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i think more than anything else..its the fact that the radical right profits from radical feminism..

http://www.duke.edu/~dcw4/opaper.html
http://www.backlash.com/content/gender/2001/02feb01/dmsh0201.html

as such..it is highly promoted by their media...ppl become man-haters and woman haters largely because the bosses told them to...


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"anchor blocks counteract the process of pontiprobation..while omalean globes regulize the pressure"...


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Anonymous

Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271878 - 01/25/04 04:23 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: ]
    #2271912 - 01/25/04 04:34 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Some people enjoy expressing themselves through dress, and enjoy the attention they get. Does this mean that they're insecure? Not necessarily. Quite a few insecure people I know do their best to stay in the background and invite as little attention as possible.

I think someone who goes to a party should dress however they feel they should dress. There's no denying that clothing can be used to control other people's attitudes towards you. Whether or not this is "shallow" is immaterial, even the most thoughtful person will still jump to some conclusions based on appearance, no matter how subconcious. I don't think you could change this without altering how the human brain works.

Does using this to your advantage make you insecure, or vain? Does using fashion as a tool to alter others opinions of you make you shallow? Some people might devote quite a bit of time to this, but I don't see how that's necessarily so awful. A lot of people dedicate their lives to making wood carvings, which is no more or less of an artform that fashion, but nobody would ever accuse them of shallowness.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271938 - 01/25/04 04:40 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Does using this to your advantage make you insecure, or vain? Does using fashion as a tool to alter others opinions of you make you shallow?




Um, get the rocks ready...

I SOMETIMES USE CLOTHING TO HELP MY CAUSE IN COURT.

When I got to court, I like to wear skirts because I have nice legs and most judge's are men.  :grin:

There was once this judge who was all business and no smiles.  All these male attorneys were going before him and he was so stern with everyone.

When it was my turn, he literally melted into this warm, smiling Santa Claus. 

Have to be careful not to have them too short, however.  Too short shows a lack of respect for the court.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2271966 - 01/25/04 04:51 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

How dare girls tempt me with their bodies.




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Anonymous

Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2272000 - 01/25/04 05:06 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2272005 - 01/25/04 05:09 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

"Why won't anyone consider the idea that maybe EVERYONE is flawed?"

I DO, men AND women, what a pack of MORONS! :smile:


I have been mad at a girl before , but even when I was really angry at her I didnt hate other women :smile:, hell I liked them more :smile:.

But I think there is a difference between the funny "for the sake of comedy" stuff that comics say about men and women , and some dude that wants to kill women, or a women that wants to sleep with men , even though she KNOWS she had aids, but this is her psycho revenge on men etc etc

The latter is twisted and fucked up, David Chapale talking about men and women is fucking funny!!!

I dislike the same qualities in women that I dislike in men. :smile:

There are a small number of women that I have meet that no matter WHAT she bitch from  hell I meet, I will still love women, the special outweights the garbage. :smile:

I wish I could say the same for women!, sorry girls, alot of us are retards!, like I said I dislike men and women.

Certain men I respect and certain women I love(and respect). :smile:


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Edited by Psilocybeingzz (01/25/04 05:10 PM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Evolving]
    #2272009 - 01/25/04 05:10 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

My wife is a strikingly beautiful woman (ask Swami).

Uh oh. Evolving must have found the love letters I sent to her. Actually I found her to be beautiful because she is as lovely on the inside as the outside. You are a "lucky" man and have good taste!  :eyemouth:

*Swami schedules another trip to Evolving's chalet...*


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OfflinePanoramix
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Re: Bitterness towards the opposite sex. [Re: Phluck]
    #2272081 - 01/25/04 05:35 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Hm, yeah, I've always tried to avoid bitterness towards the opposite sex, even when I'm freshly out of a relationship. I've always considered myself a feminist and have such awe and respect for women in general that I don't think any specific incident could damage my esteem for the whole lot of 'em.

I enjoyed that second link, Annapurna. As a fairly radical leftist myself it saddens me to see the feminist movement turning its emphasis from social concerns facing women and aiding working-class women to allowing a select few women share in the loot gathered from the exploited. Mind you, the increased control most women have been granted over their reproductive systems has probably had a lot to do with the Women's Lib movement, which I think is a very very good thing. Plus the world got to learn some important lessons about clitorises.

Just a totally off topic edit: You're a Kid Koala fan, right Phluck?


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Edited by Panoramix (01/25/04 05:39 PM)


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