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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24611799 - 09/07/17 03:03 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Oh trust me I believe you. What sets me off is boredom.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #24611905 - 09/07/17 03:57 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I will speak on my own experience.  Pure hallucinations, dreams that are lucid with disfigured faces.  Auditory hallucinations, paralysis.  Seizures.  Feeling like ghosts are in your place.  Seeing things that "aren't there".  The feeling of "impending doom" is a rich one.

I now think of the term "spirits" as in regards to you will actually meet them.  It's not getting in that is the problem, it's getting out.  What really is a hallucination?  What really gets me is when I've shared one with someone because that tells me something was really there.  I think some people are just more open to these things, some people don't believe anything.  Some people believe stuff.  Some people just take to answering the door when something knocks, like it's nature or a gift.  Some people don't know a door even exists.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9] * 1
    #24616641 - 09/09/17 05:50 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Oh trust me I believe you. What sets me off is boredom.




This is key. When I was clean I was working 19 hours a day. Just something to do. But I'd rather work than drink.

Constantly filling my time with work. No wonder all these people have all of these nice things. They traded drinking for work. Which is an addiction all on its own. One of my sponsors was a terribly hateful person. He just wants his daughter to call him. Well if you act like you do it's no wonder she won't.

No matter that your clean that doesn't make you a good human.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #24625452 - 09/13/17 07:36 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Attended my first AA meeting yesterday it was interesting in a church. People kept offering me cake and coffee. I was the youngest by far it was a bunch of old timers it was a good experience though everyone was very friendly.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #24626592 - 09/13/17 03:06 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Congrats, that shows intention. :highfive:

I've been to two so far and have been given 4 numbers and 1 chip, they seem pretty willing to help.  I don't know if all of these circles are this way but it seems like a wide open group that I found, not much is off topic.  It's not a misery loves company thing but it's cool to meet actual people that have taken this shit as absurdly far as I have and are actually willing to talk about it.  That is one thing that usually doesn't come up in convo when out in the "real world"

Keep on trucking homie :thumbup:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #24626731 - 09/13/17 03:58 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

That is what we do...it does my heart well to hear that you're not making excuses not to get to meetings anymore. Getting numbers (from guys) is crucial but don't be turned off if they do not always answer right away when you call....that's why you get more than one number.

My old sponsor was an ex city cop that would literally go through hell with me if I was trying to work the program and wouldn't give the time of day to someone that was bullshitting him....he was sober over 40 years then and was a busy guy...but, he would always call me back if he didn't answer right away.I learned so much from that man about how to live again. Most of what I learned was that you have to stay busy helping others..."a grateful drunk won't drink" is what he used to say and "gratitude is an action word"


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24626734 - 09/13/17 03:59 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
That is what we do...it does my heart well to hear that you're not making excuses not to get to meetings anymore. Getting numbers (from guys) is crucial but don't be turned off if they do not always answer right away when you call....that's why you get more than one number.

My old sponsor was an ex city cop that would literally go through hell with me if I was trying to work the program and wouldn't give the time of day to someone that was bullshitting him....he was sober over 40 years then and was a busy guy...but, he would always call me back if he didn't answer right away.I learned so much from that man about how to live again. Most of what I learned was that you have to stay busy helping others..."a grateful drunk won't drink" is what he used to say and "gratitude is an action word"



Whats the difference between a good and a bad sponsor?


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #24629212 - 09/14/17 03:17 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

A good sponsor is not there to be your friend, he is there to help guide you through the program of AA and that means work the steps and apply them to your life. That doesn't mean that you won't become friends...but, that is not his/ her #1 concern.

He should walk you through the big book with intensive one on one work. He doesn't only show you the way, he lives it. I schedule a 2hr. meeting on top of regular AA meetings every week for a 1 on 1 with my pigeons and we read and discuss the big book from start to finish...by the time we are through the book, they are usually starting to sponsor people themselves.

A sponsor should be available by phone 24/7 as long as you are still not drinking. I tell any pigeon that I have to never call me when drunk...we all know, you can't talk to a drunk....most times, they don't recall the conversation anyway.

Good sponsors don't judge. There should be a connection that you feel when picking one....they should have their life together for the most part...we all know stuff comes up and no one is perfect.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #7

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24630472 - 09/14/17 10:53 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Stuff like that gives me faith in humanity...that good, selfless, caring people do exist and they're all among us in this world.

Makes me want to do something charitable.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #24631795 - 09/15/17 11:57 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

The truth of the matter is.....we do it to keep ourselves sober.Some would say that, in itself, is a selfish act.

I was told to ask to do God's will every morning upon awakening....that act seems to take the selfish edge off.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24633637 - 09/15/17 08:26 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I definitely want to get back into group. I'm going through a really tough detox. Like being dead would be better than this. My last home group were some of the best people I've ever met. They were always doing fun things and inviting me. When I was living in Montana and didn't have any friends.

My household is a mess. I get told how useless and worthless I am as a human being. I usually go buy more alcohol. If I didn't have to flee my house every day I'd probably be through this detox. I'm so done with my family. I just want waking up in sickness to end. Than I'll probably just end up leaving and staying at the mission. There I can't drink. I know I'm better than this madness.

I also think something might be seriously wrong with me health wise. As this is usually a tough process but it's gotten a lot worse. The puking blood probably doesn't help.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24638350 - 09/17/17 03:04 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Puking blood is never EVER a good thing. Keep in mind that alcohol is a solvent and its molecular structure resembles flat shards...after drinking like you do for as long as you have, it can wear through tissues....if it wears through an artery wall in your esophagus, you will most likely bleed out or choke to death on your own blood. Rarely do people live through this....it happened to my brother, but he was one of the lucky ones. Usually, it happens where the esophagus meets the stomach.

I have a good friend that stayed sober at first and is now 5 or 6 years sober by staying at a Salvation Army. He got jobs there as a truck driver and later he was put into intake. This helped him alot.The mission sounds ok to me....anything to get you out of your own head...my sponsor calls this..."Listening to the idiot"
Good luck man, I know you can do it...you have a great head on your shoulders. Please  :pm: me if you ever want to talk.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineisthisreaI
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24663145 - 09/27/17 01:22 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I experienced those kind of DTs bro, sleep paralasys hallucinations demons the works. Its amazing I would go through literal mental and emotional schizophrenic hell for days, and then relapse again when I felt slightly better, go on a bender for a few weeks, and then go through it all over again. I have DTed on the streets, in hospitals, jail, in a nice house with food/shower its all the same nightmare. 5 days dry am glad I found this thread..


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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: isthisreaI]
    #24663364 - 09/27/17 05:55 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

isthisreaI said:
I experienced those kind of DTs bro, sleep paralasys hallucinations demons the works. Its amazing I would go through literal mental and emotional schizophrenic hell for days, and then relapse again when I felt slightly better, go on a bender for a few weeks, and then go through it all over again. I have DTed on the streets, in hospitals, jail, in a nice house with food/shower its all the same nightmare. 5 days dry am glad I found this thread..



What's helping me is just just taking it one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time. I'll mentally say I'm not gonna drink today not sure about tomorrow but not today. Its helped tremendously.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9] * 1
    #24663520 - 09/27/17 08:05 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I never promise myself or anybody else that I won't drink tomorrow...just not gonna do it today. Those todays add up.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24663620 - 09/27/17 09:04 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
I never promise myself or anybody else that I won't drink tomorrow...just not gonna do it today. Those todays add up.



My first few days it was hour to hour holy cow that was miserable


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #24663687 - 09/27/17 09:22 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Yes....time always comes down to "right now" and there are a ton of them in early sobriety. I will say, for myself anyway, that those moments become less and less frequent as the days pass.

Pretty much the only time I think of a drink now is either when I'm in a meeting or on here and my memories are not fond.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24663734 - 09/27/17 09:39 AM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Yea I hear ya it's definatly more good than bad. One thing that still kills me is the dreams where I'm drinking I'm terrified that I relapsed then wake up.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #24664409 - 09/27/17 02:00 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

I had them for 6 or 7 years....It is a great feeling when you finally come to and realize that it was only a dream though. They are certainly terrifying when you are in the middle of them. You sound like you are on a pretty decent foundation.:awesomenod:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #9

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24664492 - 09/27/17 02:27 PM (6 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
I had them for 6 or 7 years....It is a great feeling when you finally come to and realize that it was only a dream though. They are certainly terrifying when you are in the middle of them. You sound like you are on a pretty decent foundation.:awesomenod:



Well I'm hitting meetings left and right talking to people who have been sober 20 30 even one guy 45 years!


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