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Anonymous #7
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #13]
#24565246 - 08/19/17 01:57 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've come to terms with being an alcoholic. I used to think that since I wasn't physically dependent and was often able to avoid drinking every day that i wasn't one.
It's like I had this picture in my head of what an alcoholic actually was and I didn't compare. I was always into other substances more, an addict yes but never an alcoholic, or so I thought.
The past few years I've been drinking more and more. I've always drank a lot, and I've always had a difficult time stopping when I started. But i picked up this habit in the last few years of always drinking alcohol hard and fast for the rush.
It's something that I started doing to cope with the pain and urges i felt while quitting heroin. Whenever I was in opiate wd I picked up hard liquor. When I was out of the acute stages of withdrawal the habit of drinking like that stuck with me and became a way for me to calm my anxieties depression and curb/satiate my opiate cravings.
Of course abusing alcohol makes all those things so much worse. There's a reason I was drawn to alcohol as an opiate addict, and there's a reason I would drink heavily and fast. Alcohol hits the opiate receptors (mu and delta I believe) but it's effects are short lived. It happens rapidly when first consuming alcohol but drops off after 20-30mins.
That would be why I drank the way I did, I was trying to maximize the opiate like effects/rush. Often times I would crave opiates after drinking because it was like a tease. An incomplete high.
I decided over 2 weeks ago that it was time to stop drinking and hear I am. Feels real this time!
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #7]
#24565453 - 08/19/17 03:40 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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I cannot describe my God because as soon as I start, I limit him or her. Mine is not a Christian God but I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that this God exists.People often confuse spirituality with Christianity...they are not the same, at least not to me.
I will also say that prayer alone does not work from what I've seen. It must be followed up with work...The old adage.."Faith without works is dead". All that means is that prayer will not work if I sit my ass on the couch every day and feel sorry for myself.I need to be actively trying to do some good some where whether with drunks or normal people. Please don't think that I'm this wonderful person who always thinks of others first because I am a long way from that...it's a struggle. I can promise you that if you do try this program and give it all you got, it will work for you as it has for me and millions of others...no smoke and mirrors...just a reliance on a power greater than myself and some work...that's it.
If anyone would rather speak than text just send me a message...I would much rather talk than type.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Anonymous #13
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24565666 - 08/19/17 05:12 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: I cannot describe my God because as soon as I start, I limit him or her. Mine is not a Christian God but I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that this God exists.People often confuse spirituality with Christianity...they are not the same, at least not to me.
I will also say that prayer alone does not work from what I've seen. It must be followed up with work...The old adage.."Faith without works is dead". All that means is that prayer will not work if I sit my ass on the couch every day and feel sorry for myself.I need to be actively trying to do some good some where whether with drunks or normal people. Please don't think that I'm this wonderful person who always thinks of others first because I am a long way from that...it's a struggle. I can promise you that if you do try this program and give it all you got, it will work for you as it has for me and millions of others...no smoke and mirrors...just a reliance on a power greater than myself and some work...that's it.
If anyone would rather speak than text just send me a message...I would much rather talk than type.
Praying didn't solve anything before in my life what makes you think it would help now?
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #13] 2
#24565737 - 08/19/17 05:42 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Coming up on 20 months sobor on Monday
Things are going well. I havnt been to an AA meeting in a long time (probably about a year) but i still read Grapevine and this thread, and browse a couple other sobriety-related forums occasionally
I've said it before and i'll say it again: Hobbies are important to me, I wouldnt be able to stay sobor if i was bored all of the time. About a year ago i started making tobacco pipes and i'm getting to the point where i always have one commissioned. Its not a great way to make money(and what i do make goes into more tools and supplies), but i love making them
Also still reading a lot, I have a goal of finishing 50 books this year and i'm ahead by 3(34 so far). Its a nightly thing and i never feel right going to sleep without at least reading a couple dozen pages
Theres very little that i miss about drinking/drugging. Every once in awhile i think a drink or toke might be nice, but the next thought is always of the damage it will likely cause because i know it will become a constant thing right away
Anyways i just wanted to pop in and let everyone know i'm alright
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin]
#24565767 - 08/19/17 05:56 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gresh said: Coming up on 20 months sobor on Monday
Things are going well. I havnt been to an AA meeting in a long time (probably about a year) but i still read Grapevine and this thread, and browse a couple other sobriety-related forums occasionally
I've said it before and i'll say it again: Hobbies are important to me, I wouldnt be able to stay sobor if i was bored all of the time. About a year ago i started making tobacco pipes and i'm getting to the point where i always have one commissioned. Its not a great way to make money(and what i do make goes into more tools and supplies), but i love making them
Also still reading a lot, I have a goal of finishing 50 books this year and i'm ahead by 3(34 so far). Its a nightly thing and i never feel right going to sleep without at least reading a couple dozen pages
Theres very little that i miss about drinking/drugging. Every once in awhile i think a drink or toke might be nice, but the next thought is always of the damage it will likely cause because i know it will become a constant thing right away
Anyways i just wanted to pop in and let everyone know i'm alright
Dude I remember messaging you years ago (Under a differenet username) and you would always be on insane amounts of drugs and I would always be so concerned for you. I'm very proud how far you have come man. I'm glad you turned yourself around. Continue doing amazing work!
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#24565804 - 08/19/17 06:11 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Appreciate it! Yeah for awhile, like 2012-15, i was using literally anything i could find. It was pretty bad
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin] 1
#24566470 - 08/20/17 12:46 AM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Been there done that. Good for you man gratz.
I hardly even smoke weed anymore. I bought a gram of wax for my pen in october. I still have over half of it. Alcohol seems to be the hardest to quit of everything. I don't even really do drugs anymore. I've done all of them so much it's not even that fun anymore. I'm more just thinking about how it used to be so much fun. Now not so much.
Like this is it? This is what I wasted so much of my time on? What a waste.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho] 2
#24567696 - 08/20/17 03:13 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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I got a little over 2 weeks clean from alcohol. Decided to quit after realizing that my habit was becoming similar to something I had dealt with in opiate addiction.
I never considered myself an alcoholic despite all the damage and terrible things I've done while drunk throughout the years. Even though I could hardly ever stop when I started, even though I knew and others told me that my drinking habits were unhealthy, I was not an alcoholic.
I was an addict sure but not an alcoholic because I didn't always have to drink and alcohol wasn't my preferred substance. Now I know that it's just another face of the same beast. After all most addicts/alcoholics don't stick to just one substance.
I could see that drinking was either going to bring me so low that I'd end up back on heroin/opiates whcih I've worked so hard these past years to finally quit... or alcohol would become my new "dope."
So here I am just over 2 weeks clean, hoping to finally make it work
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin] 1
#24567704 - 08/20/17 03:19 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's great Gresh...really truly awesome. Pretty soon it'll be 2 years, then 3...please remember that it all breaks down to today, that's the only thing that we have any control over.
At anonymous...maybe you should ask why prayer would not work. IME, prayer has never done any good fox hole style...like God, please get me out of this one. What my little prayer is every morning when I wake...is.."God, thanks for waking me...please help me to not take a drink today and to do your will, not mine". Then I say some prayers asking him or her to help some peeps I know that are struggling with life. I always say thank you at the end of the day after I have gotten through it without a drink.
That's it...the whole morning prayer takes 10 to 15 seconds. I think the key is asking for help to do Gods will, whatever it may be. Anyway, what have you got to lose, it surely won't make things worse.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #7] 1
#24567711 - 08/20/17 03:22 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Congrats on that 2 weeks man...no easy feat.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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SonicTitan


Registered: 05/17/16
Posts: 24,064
Last seen: 58 minutes, 31 seconds
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24581325 - 08/26/17 01:49 PM (6 years, 5 months ago) |
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Got drunk a few times this summer, way more tan normal since I would drink maybe once a year. I just know alcohol used to really drive me back then and wouldnt want to go through that again because its so easy to lose yourself. After drinking a few times in a row I find I really dont enjoy the buzz outside of a couple social drinks. Whiskey used to be my poison but now I can barely stomach smelling it.
-------------------- "We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
 
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24608681 - 09/06/17 12:45 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hey man. I never tell anyone what they don't need to know but I have referred to you as my AA guy. It seems like you're the only dude that gets what it's like to be in the tornado. Hey, I appreciate you.
I have so many people on me to get to a meeting but,...you know? Hard to burn a calorie when you're hallucinating ballsack because the liquor is wearing off.
You ever feel like you're a burden. People who are close talk about how they love you etc. but you're just like naaa, I'm fuckin garbage. I feel like I disrespect people just because I show up sometimes.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
#24608911 - 09/06/17 02:16 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanks, man...yeah, I know that feeling well...that feeling of constant guilt and remorse...of feeling less than. My whole vocabulary seemed to be "I'm sorry, followed shortly by fuck it" It's funny in a not funny ha ha way, but I really was just thinking about you...wondering where you been, getting ready to shoot you a pm.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Anonymous #9
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24608980 - 09/06/17 02:45 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Uh just had a scary experience a few days ago. I kept feeling like someone was calling my name but my apartment was empty is that common in withdrawal?
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24609200 - 09/06/17 04:04 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Forever trying to get it together. I just don't know anymore, maybe I'm meant to go in on this one. What kind of person needs someone to hold their hand. Brain issues man. I don't know man, I just keep turning it up, the antidote that contains the poison.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart



Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24609500 - 09/06/17 06:07 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
You ever feel like you're a burden? People who are close talk about how they love you etc. but...
I still feel that way sometimes. I just try to stay focused on what's best for me, today.  Fuck yesterday, fuck tomorrow, today is all I have. I still remember the past and have hopes for the future, but try to live for today.
I'm still learning to pray, too, not for what I want or need(plenty of that) but what my higher power feels that I need.
On the plus side my daughter finally ( 2 days ago) said she was proud of me for quitting my drinking, for staying stopped, and for helping her Mom quit, too. I was not expecting that, put a tear in my eye.
Quote:
I kept feeling like someone was calling my name but my apartment was empty is that common in withdrawal?
Probably fairly common. My withdrawals involved severe psychosis and hallucinations, major DT's, plus puking and shitting blood. I needed a week in ICU the last 2 times that I tried to quit on my own.
Soo... Hey y'all, Vince here, still an alcoholic. Still sober too.(3 years, 8 months, 3 days, but who's counting )
My wife finally decided that she needed to quit drinking, she's gone about 4 weeks now without a drop. I've been talking with her about it since before her DUI about 9 months ago, but I knew it had to be her choice, she had to want it. So far so good. Her determination encouraged me to quit tobacco around the same time, so that's good, too. Plus my orthopedic doc said he can't do ANY operation on my knees or shoulders if I'm still a smoker, so that's what I need to do, for good this time.
I helped her taper and provided a few of my Neurontins as needed to get her through the first 10 days or so. She didn't want to go in a detox, and she still has some reservations about AA, despite the incredible success and support it's given me. She's real happy though, lost about 10 lbs. the first 10 days without trying and that's encouraging her to keep going.
4 years ago she was giving me 3 choices: go to rehab, go to the homeless shelter or go to HELL.
I also cut my paxil intake from 60 mg./day to 30 and down to zero now. Tapered off neurontin from 300 mg 3X/day down to 2 then once a day and now zero. Stopped taking the wellbutrin, too. My shrink wasn't too keen on this, but he seemed to appreciate the fact that I did taper, not just stop. I felt a little angry about some small stuff for a few days, some unexpected sadness too, but zero thoughts on drinking.
It's nice to feel something though, those meds had me feeling like a zombie, no feelings at all.
Had to stop eating cookies, ice cream and cake for the most part, I was binging on it. Stopped eating kratom too ( over a year ago) because I was really starting to take too much too many times a day.
All in all can't complain (I will if ya ask me to) the Hep C is gone, liver shouldn't be get any worse now, no sleep problems, no digestive problems, high BP under control. Still have some crazy dreams almost every night, but not too many violent or drunk ones anymore and it's cheaper than going to the movies.
Sober living is possible, just try to not wait until you're 56 to do it. Be well everyone...
--------------------
"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
#24611315 - 09/07/17 10:59 AM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Wow....a lotta good stuff Vince. That is a shit ton of meds you tapered off of and cigarettes too.Glad your wife has seen to give it up...it is the attraction not promotion thing that has helped, I'm sure....along with the DUI.
Does my heart good to hear of your successes and keeping it simple.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
#24611327 - 09/07/17 11:06 AM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Uh just had a scary experience a few days ago. I kept feeling like someone was calling my name but my apartment was empty is that common in withdrawal?
Yeah, pretty common and pretty horrific and realistic if it is happening to you. My friend actually called the cops to his apartment because aliens were invading. Be careful on a straight cut off from alcohol if you are alcoholic and physically dependent. You can get thrown into a seizure and in many cases...die. This just happened to another old friend of mine.
Physical withdrawals should be treated in a detox unit if you can swing it. Iv you have some valiums, you can back down yourself or try tapering which is very difficult.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Anonymous #9
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24611548 - 09/07/17 01:00 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: Uh just had a scary experience a few days ago. I kept feeling like someone was calling my name but my apartment was empty is that common in withdrawal?
Yeah, pretty common and pretty horrific and realistic if it is happening to you. My friend actually called the cops to his apartment because aliens were invading. Be careful on a straight cut off from alcohol if you are alcoholic and physically dependent. You can get thrown into a seizure and in many cases...die. This just happened to another old friend of mine.
Physical withdrawals should be treated in a detox unit if you can swing it. Iv you have some valiums, you can back down yourself or try tapering which is very difficult.
I can't risk tapering even having a beer will set me off. I will ride it out it wasn't as bad last night. Sleep was difficult to come by and I was sweating profusely but thankfully no auditory hallucinations.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #9]
#24611681 - 09/07/17 02:07 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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It doesn't ever have to be that way again...don't forget that.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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