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OfflineMemories
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #24541131 - 08/09/17 10:46 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

How've you been, yoga?

I just got 7 months sober.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Memories]
    #24543585 - 08/10/17 11:38 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Congrats, Memories!


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] * 1
    #24543730 - 08/10/17 01:00 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

teaching essential oils for recovery at Wanderlust Festival in June --

It was by FAR my favorite class to teach and I'll be teaching it again at my yoga studio next week :-)






About two weeks after this I celebrated 18 months alcohol free!


--------------------


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #24543879 - 08/10/17 02:17 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

That's Awesome YB! So happy for you!...You look really happy and content in those pics.:sunny:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineJustForToday
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24544098 - 08/10/17 03:59 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Damn Nicole I can't believe this thread had such an impact on you.. I'm glad I was able to help someone.:hug:


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!



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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #24544113 - 08/10/17 04:08 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

It's had a major impact.

I've come a long way since my second ever post in this thread (almost 2 years ago)....



Quote:

Nicole, alcoholic.

I'm kind of in the same boat as Malcom. I am still drinking but my drinking has reduced drastically in the past couple of months. That being said, I know myself well enough to know that it can really easily swing back to my usually bottle of wine per day in an instant.

I want to be sober.

Yet again and again I watch myself mindlessly drive to the store and buy a bottle of wine.

I think the last rationalizations that I'm hanging onto are 1) somehow drinking only red wine makes me fancy 2) I deserve it.

The longest I've gone alcohol free was 3 months in 2014. I thought that was it. The starting and stopping and failing at sobriety over and over again also just gives me a FUCK IT attitude.




moderation, :burke:


--------------------


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #24557277 - 08/16/17 04:14 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

m4dScientist said:
Back to the shroomery! Lol. Been on hiatus for over a year, just came back recently and been lurking around.

Anyway, I completed the 12 steps and realized I felt just as shitty when I was done as I did when I started. N I worked them with a SAVAGE of a sponsor, circuit speaker, dude who sponsors 30 guys and is everything I wanted to be as a human being. But I said fuck AA and dropped him as a sponsor and started getting high which I justified because im really an alcoholic. Funny how that works.

Anyway, been drug free about a month now (minus 6 ketamine infusions I did for depression which didn't do shit.) just checking in, hope everyone's doing aright.




Heeeeey!!!! Welcome back :hug:


Quote:

psych_fck said:
Today I have one year sober :heartpump::sunny:





Soooooooooo proud of you!


Also welcome home JFT. :flowers:




Going off Scientists post.

I quit heroin and switched to alcohol. Poor mistake. 30 people as a sponsor that's kind of nuts. When I was involved in AA this dude asked me if I had a sponsor and I was like uhh no. Still withdrawing from my last binge. He never really did anything with me. He's a busy guy. Younger dude like me with a baby and etc ya know.

I ended up with my painter friend as a sponsor just because he lived a stones throw away and he was always doing cool shit. He was a painter. We were never official. That shit bugged me the first one I had told me I have to call him every day. I don't like talking on the phone to begin with. I usually pace around and chain smoke when i'm on the phone. :lol:

I haven't been much sober but I haven't been drinking excessively. I work 7 pm- 7 am. 7 days a week if I want but I generally work 6 for my body to heal a little bit. I usually have one tall can to get my hips to stop hurting and pass out.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24557342 - 08/16/17 05:52 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Hey man.

I've always had a drug problem but I always convinced myself that it was never an issue because my alcoholism is so obviously fucking glaring that I convinced myself since it was MUCH more severe, that it was my only problem. But I know thats not true. So when I get high I justify it but in my heart I know I'm playing with fire hardcore.

Anyway, I didn't post that to bash AA. I think AA works for a lot of people. And some people in this thread are allllll about AA n I respect that. But it wasn't for me. Like the big books says AA does not have a monopoly on recovery. I know plenty of people who have been to AA and left because they weren't getting the help they needed, n they found something else and are now happy. But then there's guys like my old sponsor who are convinced that AA is the ONLY thing that helps, and for him it works as a miracle program.

You never know until you try it


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OfflineSonicTitan
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: m4dScientist] * 1
    #24557448 - 08/16/17 07:13 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

It has been 6 years or more since I was drinking/getting drunk every day. I still kind of fantasize about how "fun" it was but so glad not to be in that state anymore. Still have a drink once in a blue moon but spending every day for 7 years in a drunken/drugged state is something I never want to return to.


--------------------
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."



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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: m4dScientist]
    #24558082 - 08/16/17 12:28 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

m4dScientist said:
Hey man.

I've always had a drug problem but I always convinced myself that it was never an issue because my alcoholism is so obviously fucking glaring that I convinced myself since it was MUCH more severe, that it was my only problem. But I know thats not true. So when I get high I justify it but in my heart I know I'm playing with fire hardcore.

Anyway, I didn't post that to bash AA. I think AA works for a lot of people. And some people in this thread are allllll about AA n I respect that. But it wasn't for me. Like the big books says AA does not have a monopoly on recovery. I know plenty of people who have been to AA and left because they weren't getting the help they needed, n they found something else and are now happy. But then there's guys like my old sponsor who are convinced that AA is the ONLY thing that helps, and for him it works as a miracle program.

You never know until you try it




I liked AA a lot. Mostly because reading the big book and the people around me. I know all these stories. They make so much sense to me. My big book is completely underlined and my thoughts are over it writing.

These are my people. They get it. The stories are the same yet a little different.

I got to clean up than my end game goal is to be a drug counselour. I've done everything under the sun. If you ever go to Alaska I've shot up in every Holiday and Safeway bathroom there. Anchorage. Smoked crack in bathrooms at work. You name it i've done it. I really loved drugs.

Just meeting like minded people was a very cool thing. My first sponsor straight up asked me "Are you an ex junkie? Oh sorry I didn't mean any offense bla bla bla"

None taken yes I was. He spent some time in Seattle as I was in Montana at the time. Let me guess you picked up a bag of dope at 3rd and pike from a transient. Yep. Shared a laugh over that.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24558137 - 08/16/17 12:52 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Also you think you're fine when your high or drunk.

But everyone can see it. How hard you are slipping, its embarrassing.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24558322 - 08/16/17 02:24 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

My ex sponsor went from being a bank executive to living on the street with long hair and a beard eating out of Wendy's dumpster. He called a number he got from an old AA meeting and the guy came and picked him up, took him to his house...got him a shower and a haircut got him some clothes..then went to a meeting. He never took a drink the rest of his life. He also, eventually got his six figure banking job back.

He passed a while ago but he had a powerful message. This disease can take you lower than you ever think you could go and do things that you never thought you would do. God and AA saved my life, put the right people in front of me at the right time and I haven't craved a drink in a few 24 hrs.

You sound ready to stop the bleeding, please message me if you would like to speak to a knuckle head that knows how you feel.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24558378 - 08/16/17 02:48 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Tired of being sick and tired. I've spent the majority of the past 4 years wd'ing.

It is only getting worse. I couldn't stop puking one time. Puked up a ton of blood went to the hospital. Gastroentinitis and they didn't do shit for me and expect me to pay 1000 to them. I threw up outside the hospital in the parking lot. As my health insurance apparently doesn't work in other states.

That bill goes straight into the trash. Fuck them. I took the prescription they gave me and they tried to charge me 100$ for it. Than I realized it's fucking prilosec. I've seen the commercial a 1000 times. 12$ otc.

Alcohol wd's are a nightmare. I still drink as everyone always wants me to drink. A girlie I know wanted me to go to vegas with her as that's what I did for my 21st. I don't want to drink as much but get me started I will drink until I pass out. Repeat until i'm incredibly sick. Shaking, not able to sleep when that's all I want.

Nightmare. I'm sick of doing this to myself. The doctor told me straight up you probably aren't going to live past 30 if you keep doing this. Eh I didn't plan on living forever anyway. I'm a junkie I just keep living however. I didn't ask for this shit. Do things I hate for money so I can not live on the streets and eat out of trash cans.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineSonicTitan
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24561026 - 08/17/17 05:30 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Also you think you're fine when your high or drunk.

But everyone can see it. How hard you are slipping, its embarrassing.



I agree, that would happen to me on booze/benzos. Totally black out or so fucked up you wake up thinking you had a good night but really end up fighting your friends and breaking shit.


--------------------
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."



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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: SonicTitan]
    #24562802 - 08/18/17 01:12 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

*p[
Quote:

SonicTitan said:
Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Also you think you're fine when your high or drunk.

But everyone can see it. How hard you are slipping, its embarrassing.



I agree, that would happen to me on booze/benzos. Totally black out or so fucked up you wake up thinking you had a good night but really end up fighting your friends and breaking shit.




Them telling me all the stupid shit. Thinking I had a good night. That I can't remember so is the information even valid good or bad.

Super sweet we had a good night. All though I can't remember shit :rolleyes:

Stupid. But generally there just bad. Things that pop into my head when trying to sleep but reminiscing. Cringe worthy things. Ugh


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho] * 1
    #24562863 - 08/18/17 01:38 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Every 24 hrs that you don't drink is one more day with that shit in your rear view mirror. I came out of a black out once with a knife held at my throat and another time when some dudes fist was hitting my eye socket squarely...I have no idea what I did or said to these guys to get into these situations.

I came out of my last blackout when glass was hitting the side of my face...it was my side window in my jeep that a cop had just busted and there was a glock pointed at my head with the red of the safety showing....the cop yelling at me to put my hands on the steering wheel. There were lights and sirens everywhere and I had no idea what I had done....figured I finally ran over someone. Turns out I didn't...I was driving the wrong way on a one way street and the cops were trying to stop me for 13 blocks....That was my last drunk and I don't even remember what my last drink was.

I could go on and on with this shit...this was my 6th and final DUI...went to Baltimore city jail twice in my first two years sober...once for 3 months and once for 60 days. Had 10 years suspended sentence.Probation for the next six years. But these were just symptoms of my disease....it was in that jail cell after my last drunk that I finally gave in and admitted I was alcoholic...a day later I asked God for help......the best and worst day of my life.

Bottom line is, it doesn't have to be like this...I just had to ask for help.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] * 1
    #24563225 - 08/18/17 03:51 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Damn you got into some shit. I have never really been that bad, also people feel the need to protect me for whatever reason. I'm more emotional when I drink. I cry a lot. I noticed in 2 months sober I couldn't cry anymore. What made me break was my dog having to be put down from cancer at 5. I remember feeling sad but sober my emotions weren't as strong.

I got him for depression. Doctors wanted to give me pills I said no thanks and got a dog. He was my best friend.

I was heart broken just staring at a wall. Almost blank like i'm a sociopath. So I gave up my 2 months sober and got shit faced and cried for about a week straight. That's how I felt inside. I miss him a lot. 

God won't help you. The people who are around you will though and care. A lot of my friends shed a tear over my dog. He went everywhere. They all had a fond Loki dog experience to share.

I don't believe in the whole god aspect of it. I think that if AA wasn't so deeply rooted in Christianity a lot more people would stick around. I wanted to get clean not join a church/religion/cult. 

The people are what keep you sober. Finding sober friends. Finding people who get what others don't. etc


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineAnatoly
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24564570 - 08/19/17 08:48 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Damn you got into some shit. I have never really been that bad, also people feel the need to protect me for whatever reason. I'm more emotional when I drink. I cry a lot. I noticed in 2 months sober I couldn't cry anymore. What made me break was my dog having to be put down from cancer at 5. I remember feeling sad but sober my emotions weren't as strong.

I got him for depression. Doctors wanted to give me pills I said no thanks and got a dog. He was my best friend.

I was heart broken just staring at a wall. Almost blank like i'm a sociopath. So I gave up my 2 months sober and got shit faced and cried for about a week straight. That's how I felt inside. I miss him a lot. 

God won't help you. The people who are around you will though and care. A lot of my friends shed a tear over my dog. He went everywhere. They all had a fond Loki dog experience to share.

I don't believe in the whole god aspect of it. I think that if AA wasn't so deeply rooted in Christianity a lot more people would stick around. I wanted to get clean not join a church/religion/cult. 

The people are what keep you sober. Finding sober friends. Finding people who get what others don't. etc





No human power can relieve us of our alcoholism.....chose a god/higher power of your understanding, it does not have to be Christian at all.

What have you got to lose?  Not much it sounds like.....plenty to gain.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anatoly] * 1
    #24564579 - 08/19/17 08:55 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

I put my faith in people. Which can dissapoint me I suppose. But the large majority are decent human beings. That do care. God will never answer a prayer. Where was god as I was raised Christian when dad was beating my ma's eyes so black she couldn't work for months. As I started praying and realized that's useless and grabbed a frying pan. I was too small to do any real effect or stop it.

God didn't keep you sober. You did. Why AA is wildly ineffective. I was reading a study about the actual statistics behind AA and besides the lifers It's about 10%. Maybe we don't want to do any of the steps or that bullshit. Maybe we're just looking for sober friends. Or someone to talk to that understands. Than we get discouraged by all the lifers as it's very cliquey.

I got to writing out my resentments and shit. Things I hadn't though about in years. Made me want a fucking drink. I quit after one page. Nope not doing this.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Anonymous #13

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24564851 - 08/19/17 11:08 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
I put my faith in people. Which can dissapoint me I suppose. But the large majority are decent human beings. That do care. God will never answer a prayer. Where was god as I was raised Christian when dad was beating my ma's eyes so black she couldn't work for months. As I started praying and realized that's useless and grabbed a frying pan. I was too small to do any real effect or stop it.

God didn't keep you sober. You did. Why AA is wildly ineffective. I was reading a study about the actual statistics behind AA and besides the lifers It's about 10%. Maybe we don't want to do any of the steps or that bullshit. Maybe we're just looking for sober friends. Or someone to talk to that understands. Than we get discouraged by all the lifers as it's very cliquey.

I got to writing out my resentments and shit. Things I hadn't though about in years. Made me want a fucking drink. I quit after one page. Nope not doing this.




Me too. I don't have much sober time right now. But i'm thinking to myself, "since i've been praying for stuff for 8 years and never gotten it, that means i've just been talking to myself". Even having periods of sobriety in the program, I still never got what I asked for. People say, Well God won't give you what you want but what you need. I didn't get either. I also see other people get what they want shutting down that argument. I haven't called my sponsor in a week. And before that a month. I just can't come to terms with the idea of God actually giving a shit about me. I've asked for so much and only bad shit has happened to me. I don't think i'm going back to the rooms anymore. It's all fucking garbage as far as i'm concerned. You just get lucky in life or bad luck.


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