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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Nah
I've been fired from boatloads of jobs. Just take anything. Work hard and honest and then you'll have a good reference again. Half of them don't even check your references.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Anatoly
Stranger

Registered: 03/02/17
Posts: 43
Loc: Browntown
Last seen: 2 days, 1 hour
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I've been fired from two jobs due to drinking been unemployed about 8 months . I feel like I'm unemployable at this point.
12 years ago I left a six figure Operations Manager job before they fired me for being a drunk. Went to another Operations Manager job for slightly less but still 6 figures. Gone after 3 years. Drunk at lunch one too many times and hungover every morning.
Family kicked me out of my own house and I ended up in a halfway house where my family didn't contact me at all until after 5 weeks, and that was my wife bringing me the divorce papers to sign. After living in that halfway house for 6 months (which was free, and a good thing to because I had very little money left) my family wanted me back home and my son told my wife to tear up the divorce papers.
Almost 9 years later and along the way I have taken a lot of jobs that previously I would not have considered because they would have been beneath a bigshot like me.
I am now working about 5 miles from my house, go home for lunch everyday, 7 of the 9 people in the office are members of AA, I can come and go as I please, and I am making more money that I ever have (or deserve). I have donated to that Halfway House the equivalent of $1000/month rent and then some. They saved my life.
I am truly blessed and I owe it ALL to AA.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Anatoly]
#24205541 - 03/30/17 02:20 PM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for sharing that! The cool thing is that your story is not unique...I've heard it put like..."AA is like playing a country record backwards...you get your dog back, your wife back and your pick-up truck back" lol...that doesn't always happen...some relationships are stressed way beyond ever mending...but, I'm glad yours worked out. My last drunk wound me up in Baltimore City jail....where I had just got out of 2-1/2 weeks earlier....that's a story for another time.
So glad you've joined the group Anatoly!
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Anatoly
Stranger

Registered: 03/02/17
Posts: 43
Loc: Browntown
Last seen: 2 days, 1 hour
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Thanks for sharing that! The cool thing is that your story is not unique...I've heard it put like..."AA is like playing a country record backwards...you get your dog back, your wife back and your pick-up truck back" lol...that doesn't always happen...some relationships are stressed way beyond ever mending...but, I'm glad yours worked out. My last drunk wound me up in Baltimore City jail....where I had just got out of 2-1/2 weeks earlier....that's a story for another time.
So glad you've joined the group Anatoly!
Thank you T!
Country music backwards......I love it. Glad I'm here. Glad that there are folks like you around cause I certainly couldn't have done it myself. Past history shows that. Thank God for AA. Thank AA for showing me a God that works for me.
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owls
just let go!


Registered: 02/22/09
Posts: 6,485
Loc: dancing
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Anatoly]
#24207693 - 03/31/17 09:44 AM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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hey guys just had this thread in my threads section. haven't been to this forum forever.
currently got 16 days sober. a new sponsor. am committed more than ever. all i want for my life is to live the program of alcoholics anonymous, be a part of the fellowship, etc. lol and i must have evolved a lot to be able to say that. because i used to perceive that phrase as being cripplingly limiting, now i know making my life that simple is truly a doorway to freedom 
god bless everyone and have another good day sober i might be back sometime
-------------------- i love you ♥ you are beautiful! COME TOGETHER, JOIN THE PARTY!! "what beith a man if he doth not enjoy cannabis?"
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: owls]
#24207977 - 03/31/17 11:51 AM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
owls said: hey guys just had this thread in my threads section. haven't been to this forum forever.
currently got 16 days sober. a new sponsor. am committed more than ever. all i want for my life is to live the program of alcoholics anonymous, be a part of the fellowship, etc. lol and i must have evolved a lot to be able to say that. because i used to perceive that phrase as being cripplingly limiting, now i know making my life that simple is truly a doorway to freedom 
god bless everyone and have another good day sober i might be back sometime 
Welcome. I'm so happy for you!!
It's an extremely liberating experience when you can admit to yourself that you're an alcoholic and you need help getting sober.
Once I was able to do that, EVERYTHING shifted. You can see it, if you go back to the beginning of this thread, just a little over a year ago or so. I was still saying "I don't see myself as someone who will never drink again" "I can moderate"
YEAH FUCKING RIGHT

For me it was hard to say the words because I thought of myself as a "functioning" alcohol. It's funny what one considers functional when one is consuming 1-2 bottles of wine per day
The last year of my alcoholism I put myself over 35K in debt (conservative estimate - $500/month of that was on booze).
Now I have my own business that is growing every month and I am on a path to erase all that debt in less than 2 years.
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: yogabunny]
#24209203 - 03/31/17 07:53 PM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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I got this weird stupid thing where for some reason I resent your sobriety
I don't understand how my own fucking brain works sometimes
Idk maybe I felt like if I confessed it I could get this goddamn negative animosity out of me
I really owe you an apology
I know it's weird
I'm sorry
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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I haven't checked in in a while. I've been taking a break from people in general. I work in seasonal work. Been out of work for 2 months. Seafood industry.
Just want ya to know I'm still alive. Binge drank again. I've disappointed myself. Hurting hard I can't feel my hands or my feet. Hell for a couple days. Fuck me. Comes in spurts. It's surprising reading on the Internet vivid nightmares and everything is the same.
Today was a brutal day. I'm an ex heroin addict and alcoholic quitting it.
I have my own religion but I'm going to pray for death. Until it passes. Wish me luck.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (04/07/17 02:54 AM)
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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I appreciate your honesty.
Do you think you resent it because I'm not in AA?
I know how you feel, though. There's one woman I know in recovery who is incredibly vocal about her progress on social media. She's constantly starting and stopping and I just wish she would try NOT talking about it publicly until she has like a year or so under her belt. I don't know why but her recovery process annoys me, and I feel guilty for not being more supportive of her because she's a colleague.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: yogabunny]
#24225299 - 04/07/17 11:04 AM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Im my years in the program...as a general rule of thumb....The people that talk the most about their sobriety or are always pushing it on others are the ones who consistently wind up drunk....That's just what I've seen.
Don't get me wrong....In my first couple years of sobriety...I just had this amazing warm, spiritual feeling and I wanted to tell everyone that would listen...lol...I wound up in jail off and on for the 1st 18 months and on home detention for several months after that. Lol...God has a way of bringing people back to humility. I've learned that my actions tell people a lot more than anything I say.....An old friend of mine used to say..."You're actions are so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying." Damn if that isn't true.
Honesty, Openmindedness, willingness and humility are huge parts of my sobriety and I fall short on them all...this is a journey, not a destination.
I want to thank you all for helping to keep me sober another day.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: yogabunny]
#24225798 - 04/07/17 03:50 PM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said: I appreciate your honesty.
Do you think you resent it because I'm not in AA?
I know how you feel, though. There's one woman I know in recovery who is incredibly vocal about her progress on social media. She's constantly starting and stopping and I just wish she would try NOT talking about it publicly until she has like a year or so under her belt. I don't know why but her recovery process annoys me, and I feel guilty for not being more supportive of her because she's a colleague. 
That's something I cannot do. People who know me know I have an incredibly addictive personality. I get addicted to people,places or things. I'd never post it on the face as it has a lot of people on there.
The most you'll get from me is a funny picture of a cat. Things I find funny. So I only talk to those people who are addicts and struggling with addiction. And they know my struggles as well. My battered soul.
Alcohol is the last drug I have to quit. It snuck up on me quitting heroin. I rarely smoke pot anymore. My goal in life is to sober up and become a drug counselor. I get it drugs are fun I'm not here to pass judgment. Lord knows I've shot up in every gas station bathroom in Alaska.
I burned something in my body that just craves more and more. I should probably quit cigs too but that's definitely a story for a much later day. Blech I hate myself right now.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Enjoywho]
#24225835 - 04/07/17 04:12 PM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Im scared to go to a new group. I live within a block of an na meeting. I don't know why. Well i think it's because I'm not up to Par. I met some truly amazing people that taught me amazing things in Montana.
Aa is a great thing. I was skeptical the first time I went. They did a step one meeting for me and all there stories were the same. As addicts are natural story tellers. Everything ran so true. I still got my big book damn near the whole thing is outlined. A place for addicts to get together and story tell.
Every person in there was a business owner and captains of industry in there field. All are addicts. It was very impressing.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: yogabunny]
#24225838 - 04/07/17 04:14 PM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
I appreciate your honesty.
Do you think you resent it because I'm not in AA?
Partly. And another part is me being an asshole. It may not seem like it but I'm working out on that, too.
Enjoywho, stay strong man. Sobriety doesn't gaurantee happiness but it helps so much. I believe in you. You can do it. It's gets better everyday. Ups and downs of course but steadily better even when other things go bad.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Ya man I know. I have strung some Sobriety together. I feel better and better every day. A dude from my group noticed that I was actually happy one day and commented on it. I know your not faking it. I did a back hand spring and just laughed. Depressants are my thing. Dulling my senses.
What got me was the death of my dog. I have clinical depression and they wanted to give me pills. I said no and did the next logical thing. I got a dog. best friend I've ever had. Everyone that knew me knew Mr dog. Lots of tears were shed. And I gave up my Sobriety worst mistake of all.
When I'm around people I'm always happy. I'm the happiest person you'll ever meet. I'm a good story teller. It's only when I shed the mask I wear I'm actually pretty depressed chronically. I've had bosses tell me you reek of alcohol but your such a great worker. So many chances. So many burnt bridges. I want to be the best at what I do. It's apart of my addictive habits.
I get bored of things incredibly fast. I've already improved your effectiveness by a 1/3rd. They just look the other way on it. Until I quit. Mostly as I'm withdrawing and took one to many sick days. Unreliable.
Addicts are captains of industry. Once you quit you just get addicted to other things. I like to work so that's mine.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (04/07/17 05:02 PM)
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Enjoywho]
#24225912 - 04/07/17 04:47 PM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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I love my dog more than I've ever loved any person on worth. So I feel you. I'm sorry about that.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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It sucks man. I taught him to climb mountains. To be a proper dog of society. I don't care enough about myself. Its why I continue to wreck my body. I'm good at a lot of things when I'm sober however I'm not great at anything.
He was exactly like me. Talkative and an asshole at times. It's been about 6 months now and I still get a bit choked up every time I talk about him. The only thing I truly cared about. When I wrote out my list of people I've wronged at times. My dog was at the very top.
He would argue with me. I dunno if dog is a language but I spoke his. Very smart dog. Half husky half terrier. A mutt just like me.
I was in Montana when an aggressive form of cancer was killing him. A lot of my thoughts at that time were how do I get my dog to me? He would love Montana. I settled on getting him as a service dog as a recovering alcoholic. So he could take the greyhound for free. Broke my heart. I'm not sure how to fix it he was only 5.
I keep thinking it's my fault. Smoking in my car. I dunno.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (04/07/17 05:35 PM)
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Enjoywho]
#24239348 - 04/13/17 04:41 AM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hmm I watched a really interesting movie tonight. It's a will Ferrell movie on Netflix titled Everything must go.
I thought I was getting into a light romp will Ferrell movie but it's about a hard core alcoholic. So many things are on point definitely give it a watch.
One of my favorite scenes is him hitting withdrawal and not having any money to pay for more. He's shaking his known empties still tips them into his mouth to get that little scum drop at the bottom. Boy have I been there.
Very well played a really good and true look at alcoholism.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 18 days, 15 hours
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Enjoywho]
#24265347 - 04/23/17 12:56 AM (6 years, 9 months ago) |
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Had 4 days on the wagon but came hame to my oldest pup passed away. So fell off for 4 days. Back on. Feeling pretty good about the whole thing actually.
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Good luck
So sorry about your dog
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 18 days, 15 hours
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Thanks, been eating better and using different coping paths in my head. I also am really enjoying my job which helps immensely.
Love my pup but he had a good second half of his life with me. Was just expecting a couple more years. He went peacefully.
It does feel freaking amazing waking up and not being all dehydrated and foggy.
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