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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 18 days, 15 hours
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#24115973 - 02/24/17 11:42 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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going to jump on the wagon tomorrow, new job makes it a lot easier to not drink, just need to get my social obligations in line where i don't need a few drinks to enjoy them. it has been nice not being totally a drunk recently.
lots of good things going on in my life and need to keep them on track rather then just drinking.
edit.
i know some of you still dabble with other things then drinking, i mainly just drink and smoke cannabis, have you found balance in still using some substances?
i don't think i ever want to go full sober, i enjoy the perspective shit too much but wouldn't mind cutting way back on drinking.
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Edited by ReposadoXochipilli (02/24/17 11:47 AM)
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Memories



Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 10,484
Loc: Suwannee River
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
#24116309 - 02/24/17 02:29 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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@Thayendanegea
Thank you, brother! It feels so much better to be sober. Ironically, it's looking like this relapse is going to end up strengthening my sobriety. It crushed the delusion that i could control my use and allowed me to get desperate enough to get away from a relationship that had been keeping me miserable throughout my entire sobriety.
And just having today makes sense to me in a way i couldn't grasp before.
I ask God to help me stay clean and sober multiple times throughout the day, and thank him/her/it and the end of each day.
@Gresh, Keep at it!!! Finding new hobbies has been essential for me. 
Quote:
yogabunny said: Glad you're back. Was pretty worried about you for a minute there. 
Thanks! 
I felt awful when you tried to help me out one night and then i just went and got loaded the following day. 
On a positive note, started incorporating yoga into my powerliting and jiu jitsu routine.
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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy


Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Memories]
#24117446 - 02/24/17 09:58 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hey everybody checking in. Decided to put down the bottle once again, come to the conclusion that alcohol has been in the way of me getting what I want out of life. I was doing quite well for a while but for some reason just got caught in a rut and my drinking increased.
I wrote a very simple list: What I want, how do I get it, what's holding me back. Guess what was in the holding me back list for each goal... Two days clean so far.
I've been trying to identify why I feel the sudden urge durring the day to get blitzed. And so far I found that I have a lot of anxiety around figuring out what to do with myself during a certain time of day.
I've been very isolated and alone lately, which i think drives me to depression/drink. I don't have a lot of friends near me and the ones I do have are either typically busy or we have a conflict of interest.
Today I was watching tv and a guy poured up a drink of brandy or whiskey into a glass and I said to myself,"that looks really nice right about now." That's how impulsive I am, I forgot all about wanting to stop and just like that im about to head to the liquor store where I don't have to say a word and my bottle is out on the counter..
Impulsivity is a problem for me made even worse by drinking. So anyways I remembered my goal. But your mind tells you hey fuck it what's the difference if I drink some today? And really one day wont make a difference. I'll drink today, and then tomorrow, and the day after and so on.
So I fought the urge and before i knew it, it was off my mind and fine again. It was maybe a 30min window (if that) of craving and then the cravings subsided.
I've been addicted in the past to other drugs, opiates being the worst. Opiates were a bitch to stop, by comparison not drinking is a lot easier. That's part of what I think actually makes it difficult for me. That I can in fact stop if I want, I don't have to drink. I won't get sick if I don't drink. And drinking isn't doing any kind of dramatic immediate damage, so it's so easy to just forget it all and have a drink....stay in my rut
I ate healthy today, went grocery shopping to finally start in on having the healthy diet I've put off for so long. I got so much more done today too because I wasn't busy drinking/sleeping it off. I'm very happy, pleased with myself.
I can see how my pint of vodka a day habit will change into something hard to get out of the longer I do it. I feel lucky I have no wd to worry about. The only thing I get is at a certain time of day like clock work I'll get some gnarly anxiety that I have to talk myself out of.
Well that's my story, hope you're all well or on the path.
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
#24119402 - 02/25/17 06:00 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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My biggest strife with the big book is I only read stories once. Im not going to re read them as reading generally distracts me from my life. If it's a good enough story. I can identify with the book etc. But I'm not going to dog ear every phrase that applies to me. Some of the older members look like they're going to church. What the fuck.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
#24119417 - 02/25/17 06:09 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Nailed it. I was never a drinker except for parties or whatever. I moved to Washington and I haven't stopped drinking since. I hate myself alcohol is the worst I'd rather be back on heroin why I left in the first place.
Everyone expects me to drink all the time. It isnt the last drink it's the first. I can't stop and I hate myself for it. I'm fine when I'm not drinking. But everyone always makes me drink all the time. I'm 26. Ran into an old friend want to grab a drink. Sure.
In Montana I learned how to be sober. You isolate yourself from your friends and your peers and be depressed. Working 16 hours a day helps to.
Edited by Enjoywho (02/25/17 06:11 PM)
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
#24119553 - 02/25/17 07:24 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
Edited by Amanita86 (02/25/17 08:19 PM)
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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy


Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
#24119568 - 02/25/17 07:30 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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I get you, but still no one can make you drink. No gun to your head or anything. But maintaining alcohol abstinence does seem to sometimes isolate you. I have pretty good will power when I know what I'm doing is right. It's easy to forget though time to time, when your mind decides to tell lies and plays tricks on you to drink.
I 150% understand you though as I sit here in my home all alone on a Saturday night. But you just gotta find something to keep you busy. Which is what I'm trying to do now. Sobriety gives you a chance to catch up on things you've been putting off and also allows you to dig more deeply/thoroughly into your interests or possibly find new ones.
Day 3 clean!! Hope I keep it up. I was thinking about putting a big sign up by my bed to remind me of a few things each day. Laugh but it works.
Actually when I did it in the past, a friend saw the signs and compared me to the stereotypical psychos you see on tv with all kinds of weird pictures/writing plastered all on the walls. Ha
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
#24119666 - 02/25/17 08:18 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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There is no gun to my head but having to go buy alcohol for my mother all the time that's what started it. Up in Alaska. I was a dope and drug addict. If I'm going to have to go to the store I might as well get something too. Alcohol was my last drug of choice. I've done them all. Any way you can.
Many people that have known me from that time. You got clean but you picked up your mother's addiction. Huh. You aren't wrong. Your absolutely right. Shit I still have most of a gram of wax I bought over a month ago. I've cleaned myself up. Zzz
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
#24120545 - 02/26/17 06:32 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enjoywho said:
Everyone expects me to drink all the time. It isnt the last drink it's the first. I can't stop and I hate myself for it. I'm fine when I'm not drinking. But everyone always makes me drink all the time. I'm 26. Ran into an old friend want to grab a drink. Sure.
I used to feel that way too until I realized it's still always MY choice to drink or not drink.
Like, you have the option in that scenario to say "how about a bite to eat or a cup of coffee instead?" and then explain why. If that person is really your friend then they will understand and support your sobriety.
If they are not and they feel threatened or weirded out by your sobriety then, sorry but they're not fucking worth your time and energy to have to poison yourself to be around them.
I know it puts us in a vulnerable position and in a place where we feel like we might be being judged, but, really - why does EVERY fucking human interaction, celebration etc have to center around alcohol?
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
#24120592 - 02/26/17 07:07 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
I know it puts us in a vulnerable position and in a place where we feel like we might be being judged, but, really - why does EVERY fucking human interaction, celebration etc have to center around alcohol?
That's a good reason to go to actual meetings. My home group has BBQ's, holiday parties, dinners with other groups, bonfires, nature hikes, obviously all without alcohol. At the end of the meetings the chair does "announcements for the good of AA" that usually includes 4-5 events coming up.
Of course, that might not be available everywhere.
Like you're saying though you got to find positive people and positive things to do.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy


Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
#24121623 - 02/26/17 03:26 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'd love to check something like that out, I've been desperately longing to meet new people who share an interest that's not drug related..Its difficult to find surprisingly, and I know I'm not alone. If you're a drunk/druggie, that's who you attract.
Alcohol free for yet another day. Day 3 or 4, doesn't sound like much but it's the longest I've gone without in quite a while. Im desperate to change things up in my life.
Sometimes I'm troubled by what i feel is the inherit meaninglessness of life, I wish I could believe in the God delusion. truly... I feel so passionless about life sometimes. Its hard to move past this dark depression and anxiety I have. I'm longing to be truly happy again. These past few days ive felt so much more coherent, sharp and present
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
#24121719 - 02/26/17 05:25 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Day 4 is huge.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
#24132688 - 03/03/17 01:41 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Good job to everyone that's made progress!!!
I made it a week then crumpled like a piece of paper. Total self destruct mode.
Ah well. Try it again I guess.
Stopping in here is always inspiring, positive or negative.
The shaking is temporary and the fucked up dreams are just more of a reason to attempt to slow down,
IT IS POSSIBLE
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #4]
#24139499 - 03/05/17 06:22 PM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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The 24 hours a day book is fucking retarded.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Quote:
ReposadoXochipilli said: going to jump on the wagon tomorrow, new job makes it a lot easier to not drink, just need to get my social obligations in line where i don't need a few drinks to enjoy them. it has been nice not being totally a drunk recently.
lots of good things going on in my life and need to keep them on track rather then just drinking.
edit.
i know some of you still dabble with other things then drinking, i mainly just drink and smoke cannabis, have you found balance in still using some substances?
i don't think i ever want to go full sober, i enjoy the perspective shit too much but wouldn't mind cutting way back on drinking.
That's the hardest part of it. Ran into an old buddy I hadn't seen in a while. Man I'm so proud of you. Want to grab a drink? I haven't stopped drinking since he left last Friday.
It's not the last drink that gets you drunk it's the first. I guzzle water about a gallon a day but I'm always dehydrated. I look like shit. I forget to take care of myself. I don't think I ate today and that's bad. I have all these skills to take care of myself and alcohol takes them away. Well if I have a beer I'm totally going to cook. Sounds like a lot of work.
I'm an addict through and through. Alcohol is the hardest thing to quit as I don't do drugs anymore. It's cheap available and everywhere. Even shows on TV glorify the fuck out of alcohol. It's so God damn frustrating.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
#24140217 - 03/06/17 12:35 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
Quote:
Enjoywho said:
Everyone expects me to drink all the time. It isnt the last drink it's the first. I can't stop and I hate myself for it. I'm fine when I'm not drinking. But everyone always makes me drink all the time. I'm 26. Ran into an old friend want to grab a drink. Sure.
I used to feel that way too until I realized it's still always MY choice to drink or not drink.
Like, you have the option in that scenario to say "how about a bite to eat or a cup of coffee instead?" and then explain why. If that person is really your friend then they will understand and support your sobriety.
If they are not and they feel threatened or weirded out by your sobriety then, sorry but they're not fucking worth your time and energy to have to poison yourself to be around them.
I know it puts us in a vulnerable position and in a place where we feel like we might be being judged, but, really - why does EVERY fucking human interaction, celebration etc have to center around alcohol?
I know this to be truth. And it's what I just elaborated on. I'm an ex drug addict and became an alcoholic. I'd much rather be back on drugs than this. I can't function at the most basic level.
I don't drink much coffee. Caffeine tweaks me the fuck out. Hell going to aa and all the free coffee id gag on the walk home. Fucking Christ I'm trying to be sober. Sugar salt and caffeine. The last drugs we can't be judged for.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (03/06/17 12:42 AM)
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho] 1
#24140256 - 03/06/17 01:39 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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I honestly just didn't like how cultish it was. But I met a ton of good people there. Admitting fault is something that terrifies me and I just stopped going.
I don't like to be touched and that seems to be the rituals of aa and na. Which I do by certain people I trust. Talk I don't feel like it. I have nothing to say except I feel better. You hear the same stories over and over. God will solve your problems. You just need some Jesus. We can't do drugs anymore you fill that hole with are lord and savior Jesus Christ.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Shroomhunter53
Exi5t



Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 160
Loc: Tertiary sediments above ...
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Thought i would share a cool perspective I recently read,
By Zahrah Sita The word “alcohol” is said to come from the arabic term “Al-khul” which means “BODY-EATING SPIRIT” (also, is the origin of the term” ghoul”).
In alchemy, alcohol is used to extract the soul essence of an entity. Hence its’ use in extracting essences for essential oils, and the sterilization of medical instruments. By consuming alcohol into the body, it in effect extracts the very essence of the soul, allowing the body to be more susceptible to neighboring entities most of which are of low frequencies (why do you think we call certain alcoholic beverages “SPIRITS?”). That is why people who consume excessive amounts of alcohol often black out, not remembering what happened. This happens when the good soul (we were sent here with) leaves because the living conditions are too polluted and too traumatic to tolerate. The good soul jettisons the body, staying connected on a tether, and a dark entity takes the body for a joy ride around the block, often in a hedonistic and self-serving illogical rampage. Our bodies are cars for spirits. If one leaves, another can take the car for a ride.
“Essentially when someone goes dark after drinking alcohol or polluting themselves in many other ways, their body often becomes possessed by another entity.” – Stefan JacobsA great look at the truth of alcohol! We must ask – what dark agenda has been being played out by allowing alcohol to be legal and heavily promoted in our modern culture.
As an empath and spiritual intuitive I have an extremely difficult time being where there is a lot of alcohol served or where many people are drinking. I can see and feel the many “dark” spirits that gather, waiting to prey on the inebriated souls.
Most of my experiences with alcohol led me into experiences I later regretted.
In 2007 I was taken into a vision and shown just what this post is explaining. A few years later I came across writing from Parahamansa Yogananda where he also explained this phenomenon.
As we strive to heal, awaken, and transform our world – I pray that we wise up to the dirty trick played upon humanity in regards to alcohol. Non-benevolent forces have wanted to keep us oppressed, disempowered, and asleep.
It is ironic that psychedelics are illegal in much of the world (mind expansion and spiritual connection) … yet alcohol (spirit extraction) is legal!
How many of us have seen families broken and lives lost because of alcohol and alcoholism? Do you think it makes us smarter or healthier or overall better people?
It’s time to change things. Let’s stand behind shunning alcohol and learn how to live awakened and empowered lives!
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SyzygisticSoul
Shroom Yawner


Registered: 04/19/16
Posts: 1,696
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Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Awesome input Shroomhunter53! These kind of facts and concepts really helps put things into prospective! I enjoyed the read
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
#24140412 - 03/06/17 06:04 AM (6 years, 10 months ago) |
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I will never forget one of the old guys. Who just rambled and told stories. You could always get a good laugh from him. I shook his hand one time thanking him for it.
Well I believe the world doesn't have enough laughter in it. No reason to be all serious all the time.
I'm the same way it was a bummer meeting without him around
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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