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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24083605 - 02/12/17 01:10 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

I need a hug.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


Edited by Amanita86 (02/17/17 05:30 PM)


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24083613 - 02/12/17 01:16 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

It would also be nice if I had a missus too.  But apparently that's hard to accomplish when you never go out, or talk to anyone..  For some reason I'm really angry right now.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleNobler Hino
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24083804 - 02/12/17 05:39 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

I feel your pain man, i drank all day yesterday from the time i woke to the crash.
Started with champagne, then rum, then jager, then more rum, then jager, then more rum....

No hangover at all either, guess my body thanked me for it.

My heart was racing at the end of the night tho, freaked me out a bit.


--------------------

"The sacred mushroom takes me by the hand and brings me to the world where everything is known. It is they, the sacred mushrooms, that speak in a way I can understand. I ask them and they answer me.”
– Maria Sabina


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Nobler Hino]
    #24083884 - 02/12/17 06:56 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Once I started drinking super heavy all the time I stopped getting traditional hangovers. My bowels were hella fucked up though. And I had a hard time rehydrating no matter how much water I drank.

But I never puked or got the spins or nausea or got a headache a couple aspirin wouldn't kill. I never got to a point where I didn't want another or one right when I woke up.


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24084241 - 02/12/17 10:11 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
It would also be nice if I had a missus too.  But apparently that's hard to accomplish when you never go out, or talk to anyone..  For some reason I'm really angry right now.




:lol:

I can vibe with your posts I know exactly what you mean. Sobriety is boring. I've had to completely isolate myself from ever having fun or doing anything. Then I get lonely and will go out drinking to be around people.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24084326 - 02/12/17 10:37 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Sobriety is boring.




No it isn't. That kind of hits the core of why I go to meetings. To learn how people make these positive adjustments.


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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OfflineConnoisseur

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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: psych_fck]
    #24086432 - 02/13/17 03:14 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

psych_fck said:
Hi I'm Christine and I'm an alcoholic/addict

I just wanted to share and update you guys on my progress so far. I came down to south Florida for detox and treatment at the end of July. Today I have over 6 months clean from alcohol and all mind altering substances and 7 moths clean of self harm. Today my life is way more than I ever thought possible, for once in my life I'm not financially  dependent on anyone but myself, pay my own bills, my own rent, my own groceries ect. I have genuine friends in recovery and an amazing boyfriend who just flew down here from New York to visit me.

      I am still living in Florida and making a new life for myself down here. I have a higher power of my own understanding and am learning to cope with my emotions and to be okay with myself without trying to escape by any means possible. I started making art again and mediating..... Life is far from perfect but I have much more than I ever had in my entire life. It feels really good to be physically, emotionally and spiritually stable. Keep fighting the good fight and thanks for letting me share




And then I asked her why she looked so happy now
She said "I finally like myself, at last I like myself" - HC

:heart:


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #24087230 - 02/13/17 01:14 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

TheFakeSunRa said:
Quote:

Sobriety is boring.




No it isn't. That kind of hits the core of why I go to meetings. To learn how people make these positive adjustments.



Exactly


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: psych_fck]
    #24087237 - 02/13/17 01:18 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

psych_fck said:
Hi I'm Christine and I'm an alcoholic/addict

I just wanted to share and update you guys on my progress so far. I came down to south Florida for detox and treatment at the end of July. Today I have over 6 months clean from alcohol and all mind altering substances and 7 moths clean of self harm. Today my life is way more than I ever thought possible, for once in my life I'm not financially  dependent on anyone but myself, pay my own bills, my own rent, my own groceries ect. I have genuine friends in recovery and an amazing boyfriend who just flew down here from New York to visit me.

      I am still living in Florida and making a new life for myself down here. I have a higher power of my own understanding and am learning to cope with my emotions and to be okay with myself without trying to escape by any means possible. I started making art again and mediating..... Life is far from perfect but I have much more than I ever had in my entire life. It feels really good to be physically, emotionally and spiritually stable. Keep fighting the good fight and thanks for letting me share



Thanks for that Christine...It does my heart good. One note of caution....don't take your foot off the gas. We have a "daily reprieve" based on our spiritual condition....I cannot keep any sort of peace of mind today based on what I did last week.:sunny::peace:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24087254 - 02/13/17 01:27 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
I have blue eyes, I'll blame it on that.  Plus the na blood so I'll get extra sympathy.  Maybe a hug or something.

Well guys I fucked up.  Not drinking, I have zero intrest in that (all things considered), but I did pop a few xanax over the past couple days.  Nothing abusive, but for insomnia.  Technically it wasn't abuse but the alc and xanax were what I was trying to stay clean from so I fucked up.  I don't know how many days I was at but I guess that goes to zero now.  Back to the drawing bored.

On a completely different note, I have the itch to get fucked up and go all Pantera or Slipknot.  I love music.  I need some kind of release.  This sobriety shit is like watching paint dry.  I'm glad I intimately know the consequences so it won't be happening but man I wish I could get some gas in my blood stream.  Give me fuel give me fire give me that which I desire..

I got ahold of some dmt freebase.  Pure 100% spiritual medicine.  Really some amazing stuff for spiritual reflection.  It will be of great help in the coming years for growth and behavioral tuning.

I'm just in one of those ruts where I don't feel like participating in areas of this life that I have no choice in being a part of.  I also think it's about time to go to church and have a session with the cacti.  It's nice how the short time sober has changed my soul and mind to where I can use these tools and not want to just seal the deal with a shotgun because of my seeing how horrible of a person I am.

It's like before when someone would say they really liked me or how wonderful of a person I am and in my head would think "what the fuck is this moron talking about, I'm obviously a wretched piece of black hearted shit".. now it's like, "well that's good, let me know if I can help you down the line".

Truth be told I would love a Belushi cocktail and a bottle of whiskey.  I'd settle for a cup of coffee though, but ain't got none.  Right now the sitting here sober thing is eating at my mind like a pack of pirhanas.

Usually I can just ignore it but right now it's not giving up on it's nagging.  So that's where I'm at, back to zero.  Yay me..



Yogabunny was courteous enough to post an online Big Book at the beginning of this thread. Maybe try reading some...There are stories at the back but you should start at the beginning. The program of AA is outlined in the first 103 pages. If any of my pigeons were having a particularly rough day and were thinking about drinking,  I would tell them to read pgs. 84-88 and do what it says. These pages are sort of a nutshell of the program...more so steps 10 and 11 but they are very helpful.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24087559 - 02/13/17 03:38 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Ive already read it. I have both books and they sound like me. I like the stories at the end personally. I'm not alone in this world. I've quit all drug use but drinking I can't seem to stop. It's not even a drug I prefer. It's frustrating.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24088719 - 02/13/17 11:52 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

I think I have some chemical missing in my brain that most people do have.  When I'm sober it's just dead in there.  That may be the whole basis behind me using.

The only ones I use for positive are psychs, they help me.  All that other shit is a self medicating of sorts.  This isnt my world man, but it's mandatory to participate.  And I can't even get by with that, I have to trick people into thinking I'm happy and want to be there so it's like I have to put in the work we all do, plus all the extra work to put up this facade that keeps them from catching wind that I despise...everything.  And I'm introvert, so it's fuckin exhausting just being around people.

Boo hoo woe is me.  Nobody gives a fuck, nor should they have to.

Here's how I would explain it.  I am oil, the world/people are water.  Oil and water don't mix.  When I was drinking, I was diluting myself and therefor mixing with the water just a little better.  Now that I'm not drinking and not diluted anymore...that oil and water is back to having a very distinct and apparent separation.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.  Excuse what I say, as I am in the midst of a very rage saturated moment in my life and during these times I find it best to just go blank and not say shit. - :peace:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24088728 - 02/13/17 11:56 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Illusory problems for Imaginary people in a Fictive world in an Unreal universe.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #24088752 - 02/14/17 12:09 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

What?


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24088806 - 02/14/17 12:45 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
I think I have some chemical missing in my brain that most people do have.  When I'm sober it's just dead in there.  That may be the whole basis behind me using.

The only ones I use for positive are psychs, they help me.  All that other shit is a self medicating of sorts.  This isnt my world man, but it's mandatory to participate.  And I can't even get by with that, I have to trick people into thinking I'm happy and want to be there so it's like I have to put in the work we all do, plus all the extra work to put up this facade that keeps them from catching wind that I despise...everything.  And I'm introvert, so it's fuckin exhausting just being around people.

Boo hoo woe is me.  Nobody gives a fuck, nor should they have to.

Here's how I would explain it.  I am oil, the world/people are water.  Oil and water don't mix.  When I was drinking, I was diluting myself and therefor mixing with the water just a little better.  Now that I'm not drinking and not diluted anymore...that oil and water is back to having a very distinct and apparent separation.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.  Excuse what I say, as I am in the midst of a very rage saturated moment in my life and during these times I find it best to just go blank and not say shit. - :peace:




I'm sorry if this has been stated before but how long have you been sober?


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #24088815 - 02/14/17 12:57 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Since around Dec. 20th or so..  I popped a few xanax a couple days ago and then again today so zero.

Half tempted to pop 3-4 more and try to sleep for 24 hours.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24089075 - 02/14/17 05:37 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Do you have a prescription?


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #24090218 - 02/14/17 02:28 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Ive already read it. I have both books and they sound like me. I like the stories at the end personally. I'm not alone in this world. I've quit all drug use but drinking I can't seem to stop. It's not even a drug I prefer. It's frustrating.



That's great that you've read some of the texts. Knowledge and faith alone are not sufficient to recover from this disease....It requires putting what you have read into action.

It also requires throwing in the towel...admitting that this liquid beat us...full surrender. I needed to get that through my head first...before anything else made any sense to me.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineThe Influence
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Amanita86]
    #24091728 - 02/14/17 11:06 PM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Fuck man I have been reading all the posts since my first post in this thread and haven't posted since cause I found every excuse to keep drinking. So fucking sick of myself, my daughter drew a picture for me with the word beer in hearts all over. I asked her why and she says "thats what you love the most" (I actually want to take a picture of it and show you guys casue of how sad it really is)....shit broke my heart...not enough to stop though. 

I have an amazing family and wife, just waiting for the day I wake up and find my life in pieces....again.

:feelsbadman:


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: The Influence]
    #24091978 - 02/15/17 01:34 AM (6 years, 11 months ago)

Stop drinking

Draw a picture with her name in hearts and tell her you love her the most

Use every weapon in the arsenal

Meetings, prayer, sponsor, rehab, determination


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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