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OfflineJustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #23161907 - 04/27/16 04:00 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
I've updated the title of the thread so people know we're having our first live meeting here on Tuesday May 3rd at 9pm EST.




Sweet. I'll be here.:thumbup:


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!



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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #23162109 - 04/27/16 05:11 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

:thumbsup:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23162656 - 04/27/16 07:11 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

booze is a bastard.  It's not a problem, it's not a problem, it's not a problem, oh shit it's a problem but i'm already balls deep in the swamp.  It's a sly devil that sneaks up behind you and slits your throat.

One day I woke up and said "shit, I don't remember any details of the past 6 months..".  That's when I knew I needed to change.  I quit for 3 months and things got..clearer.  I thought I could do it socially and succeeded for a while, but slowly one drink turned into 2, 2 into 4, and you know how it goes from there.  Back to the boozin' and womanizing life. 

I'm on about 9 days off myself right now.  I decided I needed to quit when I hooked up with one of my best friends blackout drunk.  Someone I really care about and wanted to sleep with for as long as I've been her friend.  I remember fucking her and not even knowing who I was fucking.  It wasn't supposed to happen like that. 

This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with, probably because I have become reliant upon it when I deal with hardship.  Girlfriend breaks up with me?  Booze.  Feeling stressed? booze.  Any problem is easily solved when your 4 drinks deep..

I am an alcoholic.  There is no such thing as one drink for me.


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


Edited by TheMovement (04/27/16 07:12 PM)


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement]
    #23162685 - 04/27/16 07:19 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

My name is William, and I am an alcoholic.  I drink nearly every day (besides the past 9 or so ) because I figure, why the fuck not.  I drink and I womanize.  That's what I do outside of the work and school environment.  Hell, sometimes I even drink in the work place.  I drink and hit up women because I am bored with life and fill the void with hook ups and booze.

I recently made a pact with myself to stop fucking everyone and it feels like I have a gap within myself.  I've been ~2 weeks celibate and 9 days sober.  I still get thoughts every day to hit up random girl X or go to the bar and have a drink/pick up chicks. 

I've become so dependent on it.


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


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InvisibleNobler Hino
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement]
    #23163039 - 04/27/16 08:50 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
My name is William, and I am an alcoholic.  I drink nearly every day (besides the past 9 or so ) because I figure, why the fuck not.  I drink and I womanize.  That's what I do outside of the work and school environment.  Hell, sometimes I even drink in the work place.  I drink and hit up women because I am bored with life and fill the void with hook ups and booze.

I recently made a pact with myself to stop fucking everyone and it feels like I have a gap within myself.  I've been ~2 weeks celibate and 9 days sober.  I still get thoughts every day to hit up random girl X or go to the bar and have a drink/pick up chicks. 

I've become so dependent on it.




I feel you man, I'm in the same boat only you get more pussy than me lol

Stay strong bro


--------------------

"The sacred mushroom takes me by the hand and brings me to the world where everything is known. It is they, the sacred mushrooms, that speak in a way I can understand. I ask them and they answer me.”
– Maria Sabina


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement] * 2
    #23164044 - 04/28/16 06:03 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Hi William!

When I first checked into this thread 5 months ago I was still actively drinking and under the impression that I could moderate :lol:

I now have 110 days alcohol free, and the concept of moderating is just a funny joke for me. I've been trying to get sober for almost 6 years.

For me prayer and support have been the two biggest helping factors in my sobriety. Whether you pray to God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster; prayer work because it changes your thoughts. Changing your thoughts changes your actions and before you know it you are creating a new life, one in which you have a bunch of other things you can do to help you get through a stressful day or moment - take a bath, a walk, breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, listen to music the uplifts you, exercise, etc etc.

I started by just saying to myself "I don't want to drink" periodically throughout the day. It took a while, but it's finally working. 

My mentor says "Just make it to your pillow tonight without booze" and that's what I do.


--------------------


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Invisiblevinsue
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23164572 - 04/28/16 09:57 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

I guess I'm a little early for next Tues., 9PM is past my bedtime anyway.:oldman:
I started typing this about 4 AM yesterday, I keep adding stuff, hit continue, get distracted by new posts and forget to hit send.
Quote:


I got a question. Who here in their sobriety is going through a tuff time?


I have tough days almost every month it seems,
mostly around the full moon(it seems), like last week(and every full moon since Xmas).

When I was a 20 something we had this game we sometimes played on full moon Fri&Sat nights called "Spot the Loon",
a spinoff from the very real, freedom preserving game barroom drug dealers play called spot the narc.:uhoh:

Couple friends and I would get a nice corner table for dinner and stay there till closing.
Object of the game was to stay a bit sober(coke helped):smirk:
and casually observe people getting shitfaced while we peddled our wares.:dealer:
We'd bet on who's getting cut off or thrown out, or punched first, or next...good times:grin:

I've never been officially diagnosed with anything but depression
associated with my heavy drinking(and drugging).
I did see a shrink when I was 19 about anger issues,
(that stopped when that girl dumped me and I discovered that:syringe: goes good with:faded:):facepalm:

Now that I'm 2 years dry I'm acutely aware that I may need real medication.
Mood swings, mini panic attacks, total body and mind exhaustion, runaway thoughts,
random RLS, HPPD...not all the time but sometimes pretty strong.:insano:
I think some of y'all can relate.

I finally will see my shrink on Cinco de Mayo, LOL
hopefully he'll prescribe something other than Remeron.
I was on that before and after my rehab, didn't care for it after awhile.
i was also getting Naltrexone shots once a month the first year,
really helped with the cravings.

Regardless, me having a drink is not an option anymore. If I need to
I take another puff. I have no plans to stop MJ(or psychs), although many/most AA's don't use anything.

Nobler Hino, this might be an option, meetings on line.https://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/list
give you an idea what it's about.

Be well people...:hug: . . . :peace:


--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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OfflineJustForToday
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
    #23165650 - 04/28/16 03:41 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

I see. Thank God everything in life is temporary. Wouldn't it suck to have to read this post for the rest of eternity because time doesn't go on anymore? This too shall pass. My point being is if any of you go through tough times, remember it's only temporary. And tell yourself, just for today I won't drink. Only for today.

I've never known anyone who can catch moments. Moments happen all the time then they became memory. But moments can never exactly happened like they happened before right? BOOM. :mindblown:


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!



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Offlinejordanhess0319
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23167198 - 04/28/16 10:36 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

jordan, addict-alcoholic,

    sorry to go off topic but im just curious how you approach the magic mushroom since we are on a forum that is about mushrooms. do you see them as just another drug, or a helpful medicine/tool ? 

for years i struggled with both alcohol and drugs, smack mostly. in and out of jails and treatment centers, you know the drill.

anyway i started growing mushrooms a couple of years ago and i think they have helped me in a way that i can only describe as, helping me connect with parts of myself that i never saw or didn't know were there. also helping me see how fucked up the way i was living was and how beautiful the world can be. im not saying that mushrooms were a "cure" by any means. there was allot of hard work and learning involved as well to get sober, i just see them as a tool for spiritual growth.

what do you guys think ?

and i love the idea of having meetings on here, lost my licence so i cant drive so shroomery meetings would help.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: jordanhess0319] * 1
    #23168200 - 04/29/16 07:14 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Hey Jordan!

Welcome :bunnyhug:

First I should say that I'm not really super "IN" the program. I check in here. I have the support of a couple of mentors who have more time sober than me, and I have been to 2 meetings.

Personally, I still use psychedelics therapeutically, and I do not plan on stopping. I am actually about to leave for a weekend ayahuasca retreat in a couple hours. Doing two ceremonies back to back.

I am VERY VERY VERY protective of my healing experiences with plant medicines and other psychedelics because they are crucial to my recovery. I would not be here today if it were not for ayahuasca. Period.

I think because a lot of people in AA literally can't do ANYTHING without abusing it, they can't understand the concept of using something a handful of times a year as therapy. This is honestly one of the big things holding me back from working the 12 steps seriously. I also plan on getting my medical cannabis card soon and using high CBD tincture medicinally for chronic pain.

As far as alcohol is concerned though, I have absolutely no control and I cannot touch the stuff.

:shrug:


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Offlinejordanhess0319
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
    #23168313 - 04/29/16 08:04 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

cool thanks for the response !,
i just was curious is all. i got that same vibe from meetings and treatment centers i've been to. im happy to hear that you feel the same way about psychedelics as being medicine. im not real religious or anything so for people who are afraid of the god/higher power aspect of recovery, these sacred medicines can really help help you become spiritual and connect with nature and the world that cannot be explained unless you have one of those experiences.

they don't mention it in the aa/na books but, bill wilson's spiritual awakening was due to an lsd experience and he tried to push the idea of using it to give people that edge or leg up on recovery but everyone just sadly pushed it away.

and yea im in the same boat as you, cant control my use of drugs or alcohol, as long as i can do mushrooms for personal growth i think ill be ok.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: jordanhess0319]
    #23168812 - 04/29/16 10:50 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Welcome Jordan...I have been a sober member of AA for over 17 yrs. now...I like to just call it "a few 24 hrs." I use the big book as a guide for myself and dozens that I have sponsored through the years. The big book warns us to beware of "vicarious" pleasures. Vicarious means surrogate or substitute. What I glean from that is to stay away from things that will mimic your behaviors from the past or will mimic the drug of your choice.

I use psychs as a spiritual resetting and only do them once or twice a year. Bill Wilson didn't try LSD until he was sober for many years, but saw extreme potential in it's possibilities to treat alcoholism. He was pretty much chastised by the hard liners  from the group that he himself was responsible for creating. That same reaction is mirrored today by the groups hard liners based on misunderstood stories and propaganda. They say not to take anything mood or mind altering...which of course is ridiculous because most of them drink copious amounts of coffee and smoke packs of cigarettes anyway. It would also direct some from taking necessary psych medicines for depression and such. I personally know of one idiot in the group that chastised a girl for taking psych meds...the girl eventually stopped them and two weeks later hung herself.
The reason I use the big book as a guide is because nowhere does it say to not take anything mind or mood altering and especially doesn't say anything about not taking meds to help you . All the idiots can be set straight by asking them where it says what they're preaching in the big book. 99% of the time, they cannot ..as many of them have not even read the basic text.

One thing I am on the fence about and will not do myself is smoke weed...simply because I have seen many members drink again after substituting weed for alcohol. To me...if you smoke everyday like you drank..you are just substituting. On the flip side of that...I think it is better to smoke weed than to be a out of control drunk...so, like anything, that is a personal choice.

I hope I have helped clear some things up.:sunny::peace:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Offlinejordanhess0319
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23168982 - 04/29/16 11:49 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

i shouldnt have said that without being sure thank you for correcting me. i thought it was in the beginning of his recovery he tried it, even so still pretty cool of him to give a psychedelic a chance.

that is a sad story about that girl who was ridiculed for psych meds, if you need them you need them.  you did clear some things up for me, thanks man !:smile:


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OfflineJustForToday
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23169043 - 04/29/16 12:12 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
Welcome Jordan...I have been a sober member of AA for over 17 yrs. now...I like to just call it "a few 24 hrs." I use the big book as a guide for myself and dozens that I have sponsored through the years. The big book warns us to beware of "vicarious" pleasures. Vicarious means surrogate or substitute. What I glean from that is to stay away from things that will mimic your behaviors from the past or will mimic the drug of your choice.

I use psychs as a spiritual resetting and only do them once or twice a year. Bill Wilson didn't try LSD until he was sober for many years, but saw extreme potential in it's possibilities to treat alcoholism. He was pretty much chastised by the hard liners  from the group that he himself was responsible for creating. That same reaction is mirrored today by the groups hard liners based on misunderstood stories and propaganda. They say not to take anything mood or mind altering...which of course is ridiculous because most of them drink copious amounts of coffee and smoke packs of cigarettes anyway. It would also direct some from taking necessary psych medicines for depression and such. I personally know of one idiot in the group that chastised a girl for taking psych meds...the girl eventually stopped them and two weeks later hung herself.
The reason I use the big book as a guide is because nowhere does it say to not take anything mind or mood altering and especially doesn't say anything about not taking meds to help you . All the idiots can be set straight by asking them where it says what they're preaching in the big book. 99% of the time, they cannot ..as many of them have not even read the basic text.

One thing I am on the fence about and will not do myself is smoke weed...simply because I have seen many members drink again after substituting weed for alcohol. To me...if you smoke everyday like you drank..you are just substituting. On the flip side of that...I think it is better to smoke weed than to be a out of control drunk...so, like anything, that is a personal choice.

I hope I have helped clear some things up.:sunny::peace:




Well said! I personally don't use anything as I take psych meds and it would not be good for my mental health. I have in the past wanted to try ibogaine but it is a schedule 1 substance.


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!



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OfflineJustForToday
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday] * 1
    #23174081 - 04/30/16 08:53 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

I celebrate tonight 2 years!

Shane, Alcoholic.

Man has it been a rough year. My first year in sobriety I didn't do my steps. I suffered the whole year from the insanity of alcoholism. I didn't know I was an idiot. I was dishonest. Had many sponsors and fired them over my 4th step. I finally finished my steps at 18 months sober.

At 15 months I hit my breaking point. I was living at halfway at the time. A lot of things happened and I found myself about to lay on the railroad tracks on dixie and end my life. I wrote my suicide not and left it on my bed. I went to the gym hoping it would help. It made it worse. As I was about to walk out and do it. My sponsor.. hadn't been to the gym in 2 months because his son came from colombia to visit. He just happens to walk in right as I'm walking out.. THAT WAS GOD doing for me what I couldn't do for myself. I told him. And he said, "Shane if you don't finish your steps, you will drink or you will kill yourself." So after that I got serious. I finished my steps and started sponsoring other guys. I started taking suggestions.

Then at 19 months sober life began to happen..

My mom passed away sept 11th. That almost took me out but it didnt. I went to meetings more, called my sponsor more, talked with other alcoholics and started sponsoring more guys. Then I got sick.. Coming off of a psych med.. I ended up losing my own place.. lost my good job.. ended up in detox nearly dead.. I came back to Florida after visiting Georgia and ended up homeless on the streets with all my stuff.. STILL DID NOT DRINK.. and then.. as everyone is aware.. I fell in love for the first time in my life and got my heart broke soooo deeply.. I dreamed of her for 4 weeks straight.. What did I do? I WAS LIVING AT MEETINGS. I went to 4-5 meetings a day crying over her and grieving because it's normal. I Even tried to hit a women's meeting once.. LOL:lol: But I kept coming back. I kept talking to other alcoholics. And best of all I GOT MY FAITH BACK IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. He is the only reason i'm here and He gets all the praise glory and honor.

I'll end with this.

When we come in we are all like survivors on a life boat. But stick around long enough and it becomes a cruise!! Thank you.


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!



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Offlinestarsky7
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23179711 - 05/02/16 11:16 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

9am EST as in New York time? Lol, I could just google this, but i'm a lazy junkie.


--------------------
"In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences" - Robert Greene Ingersoll


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Offlinestarsky7
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23179715 - 05/02/16 11:16 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

JustForToday said:
I celebrate tonight 2 years!

Shane, Alcoholic.

Man has it been a rough year. My first year in sobriety I didn't do my steps. I suffered the whole year from the insanity of alcoholism. I didn't know I was an idiot. I was dishonest. Had many sponsors and fired them over my 4th step. I finally finished my steps at 18 months sober.

At 15 months I hit my breaking point. I was living at halfway at the time. A lot of things happened and I found myself about to lay on the railroad tracks on dixie and end my life. I wrote my suicide not and left it on my bed. I went to the gym hoping it would help. It made it worse. As I was about to walk out and do it. My sponsor.. hadn't been to the gym in 2 months because his son came from colombia to visit. He just happens to walk in right as I'm walking out.. THAT WAS GOD doing for me what I couldn't do for myself. I told him. And he said, "Shane if you don't finish your steps, you will drink or you will kill yourself." So after that I got serious. I finished my steps and started sponsoring other guys. I started taking suggestions.

Then at 19 months sober life began to happen..

My mom passed away sept 11th. That almost took me out but it didnt. I went to meetings more, called my sponsor more, talked with other alcoholics and started sponsoring more guys. Then I got sick.. Coming off of a psych med.. I ended up losing my own place.. lost my good job.. ended up in detox nearly dead.. I came back to Florida after visiting Georgia and ended up homeless on the streets with all my stuff.. STILL DID NOT DRINK.. and then.. as everyone is aware.. I fell in love for the first time in my life and got my heart broke soooo deeply.. I dreamed of her for 4 weeks straight.. What did I do? I WAS LIVING AT MEETINGS. I went to 4-5 meetings a day crying over her and grieving because it's normal. I Even tried to hit a women's meeting once.. LOL:lol: But I kept coming back. I kept talking to other alcoholics. And best of all I GOT MY FAITH BACK IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. He is the only reason i'm here and He gets all the praise glory and honor.

I'll end with this.

When we come in we are all like survivors on a life boat. But stick around long enough and it becomes a cruise!! Thank you.



CONGRATS! Good, good, good shit mah man!


--------------------
"In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences" - Robert Greene Ingersoll


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: starsky7]
    #23180598 - 05/02/16 03:15 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Congrats Shane. This thing called life is a journey, not a destination...you remind me of just that.:sunny::peace:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleBlueIndian
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23181475 - 05/02/16 07:03 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Taking a seat here...

I'm BlueIndian and an alchy. I had just turned 15 and got black out drunk for the first time on Halloween night 1985. Puked all over myself and almost broke my nose. My mother woke me up every hour asking how many fingers she was holding up to make sure I was alive. The hangover was horrendous...would have thought that would have been enough. But no...somehow I thought that was fun. Being the 80's a teenager it got to where crack was easier to get a hold of and that was my thing for the next 2 years. Quit school because of too many days missed. Kicked out of the house at 17...I moved in with a relative who bought my beer so I traded a crack habit for a booze habit.

It's been a looonngg tiring 25-30 years of it. How my wife has stayed with me I don't know. My kids have seen and heard more fucked up shit than kids should. I have broke an arm, wrecked cars, broke house windows and been to jail because of it. Shortly after the broke arm 11 years and 3 days ago I attended my first AA meeting. I was broke...a man asked me how I broke the arm. "He said well..at least it got you here". When I told him it was my first meeting he asked if I had the big book I said no I'm broke...he bought me one and gave it too me.

I tried the program. Maybe not like how it was supposed to be worked. But I did make it 3 weeks once while doing meetings. Unfortunately I was born this way and have no will power. I did give up hard liquor 13 months ago. None since then. I let my wife down when she needed me most and that was it on the vodka. But the 15 beers daily is no longer working. I know that. Gonna read along and hope something sticks.
Thanks for letting me share.


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InvisibleBlueIndian
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: BlueIndian]
    #23181667 - 05/02/16 07:52 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

And I will say I'm kind of put off by sitting in a dingy church basement listening to someone 15 years sober who I feel sometimes they don't remember what's it's like to try to sober up. Almost like time has eased that struggle to them....IDK just the way I feel...

But when I was in my mid 20's I had older friends who drank way too much. I at least felt like "Hey I go to work every morning and limit my binging to the weekend." "I'm not going to wind up like that".....well it's happened. I remember the 3 weeks sober....only 3 weeks in 25+ years. My eyes were clear..my hands didn't shake. My brain wasn't foggy. But that feeling is so foreign to me...it's like I feel "too good" and need a drink to calm myself down. I watched my mother be destroyed by drinking and what it does to the body and mind. Maybe I drank to not see that clearly.

One of my kids recently turned 21. He doesn't drink and for that I am so thankful. He has seen the results of mine. I don't have to tell him not to...his eyes have seen it his whole life. And that hurts and makes me disappointed in myself. I can't go back and change things I know that. Time for me to look forward and stop looking back...it just leads me to another drink to kill that pain.


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