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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Double] * 2
    #28420669 - 08/04/23 03:41 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

Quote:

thank you for The No barnaby all purpose sports thread,

really appreciate it




lol you're welcome


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleDouble
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 796
Loc: Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Prolific Koi] * 1
    #28420785 - 08/04/23 05:36 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

What I still can't believe is that even after not drinking for 40 days & all the problems alcohol consumption has caused me - I still want to get fucked up every night

JUST WOW at this disease


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Invisiblesui
I love you.
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 1
    #28420844 - 08/04/23 06:37 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

I know right?

I keep telling myself I'm gonna start AA. And I can't find the motivation.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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InvisibleDouble
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Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 796
Loc: Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: sui] * 1
    #28420851 - 08/04/23 06:41 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

It's saved my life sui, at least for now


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InvisibleProlific Koi
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Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Double] * 1
    #28420856 - 08/04/23 06:48 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

In treatment I always thought “I can’t wait for the day where I can finally drink again” here I am 2 years later now feeling further away from that day than ever before lmao. I can honestly say I haven’t had the urge to drink in like a year now. I’ve had a shit ton of bad relapse dreams though haha. When I started mushrooms I felt a little off too and imo I was dosing too much for my program but they help so much now that I got a good schedule going. Who’s down to make it a priority to get a meeting in the books soon? It’s been well over a year for me now too. I owe it to AA, one of the biggest chunks is service, helping others!
God and Aa till I die


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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 1
    #28420917 - 08/04/23 07:35 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

Guitar is the only thing I have ever found better than any drug, almost better than love.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 2
    #28420920 - 08/04/23 07:36 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)



--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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OfflineSilentOcean
Stranger

Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 1
Last seen: 11 days, 19 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: sui] * 2
    #28420946 - 08/04/23 07:54 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

I've enjoyed my time in 12 Step programs over the past 3 years.  Maintained my sobriety for over a year during COVID lockdown after in-patient rehab.  But I was white knuckling it, and everyday I was miserable and depressed (hell, it was COVID and I was having a shitty time at work). 

Eventually, I found out about the Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, because the feeling of abstinence just fucking sucks.  I wanted to retrain my brain with Nal, that drinking just wasn't that much fun.  It works really well!

Only problem is, the little devil inside will tell you, don't take that shit for a couple days and lets go get fucked up...

So you gotta want to ruin your fun drinking, for it to work...just think about all the money you save, and how you're not destroying your life this weekend.    (...this is what I'm currently telling myself)  <3


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InvisibleProlific Koi
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Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: SilentOcean] * 1
    #28420956 - 08/04/23 08:02 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

1st 3 steps are everything for a long lasting program. Obviously all the steps have proven to show the best results But I get lazy. I have only been through the steps 1 time… it’s no cake walk. Ego is not my amigo, there is absolutely no excuse as to why I wouldn’t prioritize my life with the steps. Comes down to me reasons, this has never worked when it comes to Aa peace and serenity. I need to have faith, my past life has proven what happens when I want to take control. Death or misery. It was pretty black and white like that for me. In and out of the hospital, ruining relationships, needing a drink to function… now what life is that? I owe it to myself and the people who love me. There are so many other people who still live like I used to… I’m not helping when I don’t go to Aa and put myself out there. To be selfless and help save so many others like us!

Edit: Ignored both of you. No hard feelings I just don’t thinks these conversations will benefit anyone. This is Aa, we have a higher power here (God), if you can’t accept that fact, there is no reason you should continue to post on this form promoting the opposite of what Aa actually reflects. Just because you’re white knuckling, going through your checklist, without any faith involved and then coming on here making these bold claims and statements is crazy. I’m not saying you’re not doing the work but what is it for then? Sounds to me like a lot for yourself. Maybe I’m wrong but it’s not that selfish of a program, we need a higher power in Aa otherwise it should be called something else.


Edited by Prolific Koi (08/15/23 04:22 PM)


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Double] * 1
    #28421242 - 08/04/23 11:31 PM (5 months, 21 days ago)

Quote:

Double said:
What I still can't believe is that even after not drinking for 40 days & all the problems alcohol consumption has caused me - I still want to get fucked up every night

JUST WOW at this disease




it gets easier- keep it up

40 days is still really early recovery


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleDouble
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 796
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: SilentOcean]
    #28423180 - 08/06/23 02:36 PM (5 months, 19 days ago)

Well done SilentOcean! Keep it up :thumbup:


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InvisibleDouble
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 796
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa] * 2
    #28423257 - 08/06/23 03:30 PM (5 months, 19 days ago)

Thanks Sunra,


Hello My name is double & i'm an alcoholic. I wanna thank my higher power for one more day of sobriety.

A couple of days ago I had really bad neck pain and took a couple of painkillers. As they started to take effect & without noticing, I thought to myself - "this would go great with hard liquor straight"

It crossed my mind to drink in that moment but somehow didn't, I wanted to share that with yall

Have a blessed day & remember;

ODAAT!


Edited by Double (08/06/23 06:48 PM)


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InvisibleProlific Koi
CheeseHead
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Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Double] * 1
    #28423562 - 08/06/23 08:28 PM (5 months, 19 days ago)

Thanks for sharing double,

Very wise, happy you didn’t indulge. Those pain killers were tricky for me too but to each their own, what happened to your neck? Who knows it might have been nice if we weren’t addicts pounding some drinks down lol maybe in another life. I’d gladly pass now even if I knew I was somehow “cured”. As much as that pisses me off sometimes haha it’s a good feeling at the end of the day ain’t it? We got something to live for now, how blessed are we. A lot of days it doesn’t seem like that but most come around if we trust. Thanks for keeping me sober today and congrats on another 24. No better time to be sober than now, what a time to be alive.


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Invisibleunam sanctum
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Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Prolific Koi] * 1
    #28423600 - 08/06/23 09:08 PM (5 months, 19 days ago)

Lost my cousin a couple weeks back due to long term medical repurcussions of alcoholism.  Definitely the closest person I ever had to a sister, despite a substantial age difference. Maybe the only only person I ever really trusted with the depths of my soul and one of few that was always there for me, no matter what. I miss her very much and have been dealing with her loss in the midst of one of the lowest points of my life so far.

I haven't wanted to be here for a long time now.  I just feel empty these days. Even when the chips have been up I've always felt let down by my own existence.  Let me announce that the chips are most certainly not up for me right now. I know it's all fleeting, the pain and the pleasure, joy and sadness, ups and downs.  If I stay around and do what I know I should do, it's reasonable to think things will get better.  But I've been there time and time before and I never felt any solace, so it's a struggle to convince my brain that all that energy is worth it.  I just want to swim out to the horizon and leave it all peacefully and mysteriously.  There's only a few people that will notice and they are the only reason I won't.  For today at least.


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InvisibleProlific Koi
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Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: unam sanctum]
    #28423620 - 08/06/23 09:38 PM (5 months, 19 days ago)

Thank you for sharing unam sanctum. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard to believe we have purpose on the lowest of days… you sharing helps more people than you know, me included and I think that’s something important to notice. It’s when we persevere through these “days” and ask God(higher power) for help. Do we trust that we will be alright? Hasn’t he gotten us this far? If we don’t then we might not, but time and time again we are reminded he is by our side, if our eyes are open. If we aren’t doing the work, doing as much as the program as we can honestly, we’re fucked. But when we share, reach out, and ask for help wonderful things being to happen. It’s easy to forget but when we are reminded, ain’t it all worth it? I know if you stay around, keeping being the best version of yourself, you’ll find that you are one BA beautiful mofo! You got some good people in your life from what it sounds like, that’s a pretty good reason right there to keep kickin it. Bless and love today man, thanks for keeping me sane and sober today.


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Invisibleunam sanctum
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Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Prolific Koi] * 1
    #28423675 - 08/06/23 10:22 PM (5 months, 19 days ago)

I really appreciate your words prolific koi. What beauty I find in life is basically perseverance. Proceeding along and facing our circumstances as they come, without fear and without arrogance.  Stoicism shit.

To your health my friend
-trev


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InvisibleSpectacle
NOGAME


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 371
Loc: DOX ME SKYDADDY
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: unam sanctum] * 1
    #28425178 - 08/08/23 12:32 AM (5 months, 18 days ago)

Yoooo
I just found this thread.
Hi recovery shroomery family!!!
Anyone in PDX?


--------------------
:blueangel:  ASTRAL777  :blueangel:
124 actually sucks DICK but mainly for the clout


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Invisiblesui
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co. Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 1
    #28425314 - 08/08/23 06:16 AM (5 months, 18 days ago)

I just found a big book in my closet!


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: unam sanctum] * 1
    #28426179 - 08/08/23 07:19 PM (5 months, 17 days ago)

Quote:

    For today at least.




that's how you do it, one day at a time, i can't promise you it'll get easier because aint nobody know the future- but i was almost there- ready to fucking end it but things did get better for me - it's easy to lose hope but it's actually pretty rare for there to be no reason for hope - just reaching out on here shows you still got some hope and when there's hope there's a reason to soldier on to the next day

love to you


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleProlific Koi
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Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN Flag
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Spectacle]
    #28426259 - 08/08/23 08:12 PM (5 months, 17 days ago)

Quote:

Spectacle said:
Yoooo
I just found this thread.
Hi recovery shroomery family!!!
Anyone in PDX?



Ayoooo Welcome aboard brother! I am not…
I couldn’t believe it, mushrooms, aa? No effin way.


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