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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23009002 - 03/15/16 10:41 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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at least you fed some people that needed it. dosent 90 bucks worth of jack in the box weigh a lot? anyways i made it two days without a drink. then i broke today and got something . its a vicious cycle. just being left without anything to cure the boredom and self loathing is hard. im going to continue to work at it though, cant give up
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#23009031 - 03/15/16 10:49 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: at least you fed some people that needed it. dosent 90 bucks worth of jack in the box weigh a lot? anyways i made it two days without a drink. then i broke today and got something . its a vicious cycle. just being left without anything to cure the boredom and self loathing is hard. im going to continue to work at it though, cant give up
Do you have a job? Going to school? Both of those things will help with the boredom.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#23015580 - 03/17/16 04:11 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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What's your first name and sober date? I will add it to the list.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart



Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] 3
#23015887 - 03/17/16 08:27 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Just found this thread, right on time, too.
on 17 years. This will be long (kinda a Step 5 thang) so 
Happy St. Patricks day, a holiday that's mostly about getting shitfaced these days. This will be my 3rd one in a row without the drink. Before that, I was that guy, wearing lot's O Green, already , with pints in every pocket at 10AM on my way to the NYC parade. I've taken off work, without pay, to drink on this holiday. This is me 15? years ago. (I found that sweatshirt on a demo job site, FTW )

I'm Vince, an alcoholic and drug addict, though I don't really admit to the addict part, reason justification excuse being that I quit heroin, coke, most pills back when I was 25 or so, and I don't use psychs much, I was just a beer drinking pothead and I kinda like Kratom lately.
I was drinking at 6 or 8, Pops always had a case of
 Parents had lots of card party's and by helping fetch or clear drinks, I could score free sips. In 1969 I found my brothers pot stash. I was 12.Started huffing stuff, too. I quickly learned that by dealing drugs, my drugs were free, plus the money, then the power then the bitches. Had a pharmacist hook up for anything, he loved the pot. I searched my PDR for new pills and placed an order. I've had pharm coke right from the bottle. I'll leave the junkie stuff out, but I'm still kinda proud of not ODing, in some wierd way. This was happening when John Belushi ODed. Alcohol was always there, though especially during the dreaded pot droughts, lol. I ran hard until I went to prison for 13 months for slingin' meth. ( I love that word 'slinging', thats some newskool shit) 24 years old. I lost my 6 year Union job with Amtrak.
Found work doing Asbestos removal right when that industry was starting. Was married 7 years, then divorced. I drank every day throughout my 23 year career, weed was always there, plus a lot of coke. I was a successful supervisor. Not much drug testing then except Fed. jobs. I could still be working for CDI (imploding buildings)if not for the drink.

Injuries, knee and foot surgery and I stopped working and really started drinking last 10 years or so. Here's my first feeble attempt. https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/22255012#22255012
My sober last drink was Jan. 3,2014, right before I left for 28 day rehab/detox. Wife said go there or GTFO I was done, beatup, sick, pitiful really, plus I had to be sober 6 months to even start any hep C treatment, something that really needed attention.
I got on medicaid, got multiple doctors and dentists fixin' me, and am now virus free(that 1 anyway ), still feel like shit most days, but I know a drink won't fix that.
I recently quit (ran out of) kratom(1 year use), quitting tobacco off and on, cutting back on(running out of) the pot. My head's been really off lately...had a panic attack over nothing, crazy mood swings, hyper sensitive to light reflections, shadows, certain sounds and smells. I actually got a psych referral from my doc 'cause I've just been feeling way too crazy lately. (1st available date is Cinco de mayo, another drinkin' holiday)
I have almost ALL the symptoms of PAWS, which I haven't had in over a year, and sometimes it's pretty bad/strong/whatever. Even my last few 3g. trips were kinda meh...
I know I've sacrificed some brain cells along the way, especially some of the developing ones before I went to jail. I always liked to over do it.
The wife( who has experienced my insanity throuh good and bad 20+ years ) actually just refilled an old script she had for prozac so I'm trying that until I see my shrink. Most important thing is, even with all this BS, I didn't reach for a drink. I thought about it a few times, but I couldn't throw out 2+ years.
I'm gonna go put on some bagpipe music now and cry a bit(a good cry) and then maybe some Poughes... Stay sober my friends especially today, maybe do something kind today... . . .
--------------------
"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: vinsue]
#23016247 - 03/17/16 11:11 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thanks for that Vince...you certainly earned your seat...A lot of parallels between us. My sobriety date is March 15, 1999 but my last drunk was at a downtown Baltimore St. Patricks Day parade. I am not Irish but always claimed to be on that day.lol. I don't remember my last drink or anything after around 5:00 that day...I was doing the annual bar hopping green beer thing...the last thing I remembered drinking / eating was a green jello shooter...don't know if any of you have had them before...basically, jello made with vodka.
Anyway, I had just got out of jail for my 5th DUI 2 weeks earlier and was back at it with a vengeance. So, I came to with glass hitting me on the side of my face...the glass was from my jeep side window and it broke because a cop busted it and had a glock pointed at my head.My deadbeat gf was in the passenger seat and a different cop had a gun pointed at her.There were lights flashing and sirens wailing everywhere plus it was snowing to beat hell. I had no fucking idea what I'd done or even where I was...the first thing the cop said was put your hands on the steering wheel asshole....and I did...when I think back...I think how lucky I was that I was coherent enough to do what he said...had I tried driving off or even reached in my pocket..I wouldn't be here right now.
Next thing ya know I'm lying face down in the snow with my hands being cuffed behind my back....thinking...I must have finally done it...must have run over somebody or something...then I hear the cop laughing and saying...."He's only drunk". I knew if the cop was laughing that I didn't hurt anyone and my jeep didn't seem to have any extra dents. Bottom line is they followed me 13 blocks driving the wrong way in a one way street lights on and sirens wailing...must have looked like the OJ bronco thing.
Anyway, went to jail that night again shaking like a leaf...later on, alone in a jail cell...I came to terms with my disease....haven't drank since thanks to God and AA.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Capybara1
Stranger

Registered: 03/24/16
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23041798 - 03/24/16 03:20 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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I still love my cognac though     
-------------------- ..Lord, protect me from my friends..
...I can take care of my enemies...
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Capybara1]
#23055382 - 03/28/16 03:11 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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That is a good description of the terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair that only an alcoholic understands.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23059844 - 03/29/16 04:51 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Sorry for my absence. We have one celebrate this month.
Mark with 17 years!
How did you do it Mark? What happened this year? How did you make it?
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#23059979 - 03/29/16 05:21 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
JustForToday said:
Mark with 17 years!
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Loyola10
Stranger

Registered: 02/06/16
Posts: 863
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin]
#23060009 - 03/29/16 05:30 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gresh said:
Quote:
JustForToday said:
Mark with 17 years!

That's truly incredible I however am at 17 hours
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Loyola10] 1
#23060490 - 03/29/16 07:31 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Congrats mark!
And congrats Loyala on 17 hours. Get your head to the pillow w/o booze tonight and you'll have 24 hours under your belt in no time.
I'm day 80 alcohol free today.
As I mentioned in another thread I went to a couple of meetings last week. I can see how they're beneficial, and I think I will start going regularly. It's like free therapy . It's also just a relief to be around other people who have gone through the same things as me - to laugh with them and cry with them, and know that I don't have to be alone through this.
--------------------
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#23062441 - 03/30/16 08:28 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
JustForToday said: Sorry for my absence. We have one celebrate this month.
Mark with 17 years!
How did you do it Mark? What happened this year? How did you make it?
I did it a day at a time....all any of us has is 24 hrs....as soon as you get 24 hrs. sober, you are closer to your next drink than you are from your last.
I start my day with a simple prayer..."God, please help me to not take a drink today and to do your will, not mine.".....I have done this prayer every day. I then say some prayers to people in and out of the rooms that are in some state of need. Then go about my day...offering thanks at least once before I retire at night. If I can lay my head on the pillow sober, I can wake up sober and begin again. I also go to at least one or two 7:00 am meetings a week at my home group to be there for any newcomers that would ask for help...I don't solicit help.
I remember the first year the most...that's why I love one year anniversaries. Just trying to get through one of everything...birthday, fourth of July, memorial day, New years...all those times I drank more furiously...what a great feeling it was to get through them...I wound up going to jail twice in my first year because of DWI stuff I had accumulated and when I wasn't in jail, I had an ankle bracelet on.
I've met dozens of friends through the years who have helped me get through anything that has come down the road. By sponsoring people, I have also witnessed first hand the devastation that this disease carries with it. It wrecks entire families.....there have been homicides and suicides and people just dying from the disease itself...But, I have also witnessed moms being moms again and dads being dads...families getting back together and recovering together...this is what keeps me going...many miracles every single day.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: yogabunny]
#23062449 - 03/30/16 08:30 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said: Congrats mark!
And congrats Loyala on 17 hours. Get your head to the pillow w/o booze tonight and you'll have 24 hours under your belt in no time.
I'm day 80 alcohol free today.
As I mentioned in another thread I went to a couple of meetings last week. I can see how they're beneficial, and I think I will start going regularly. It's like free therapy . It's also just a relief to be around other people who have gone through the same things as me - to laugh with them and cry with them, and know that I don't have to be alone through this.
This is awesome stuff bunny.....and Loyola, 17 hrs. is almost 24 hrs....That's all any of us have really.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Loyola10
Stranger

Registered: 02/06/16
Posts: 863
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] 1
#23062455 - 03/30/16 08:34 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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This thread has inspired me to go to a meeting. I'm so sick of waking up hungover the majority of the time. I felt great this morning and was way more productive.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Loyola10]
#23062701 - 03/30/16 10:11 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Very cool....go to a meeting sooner than later then. Alcoholic minds have a way of talking us out of shit...the more time passes, the less likely you are to go....the disease will tell you you're doing just fine.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Loyola10
Stranger

Registered: 02/06/16
Posts: 863
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23063035 - 03/30/16 11:46 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Very cool....go to a meeting sooner than later then. Alcoholic minds have a way of talking us out of shit...the more time passes, the less likely you are to go....the disease will tell you you're doing just fine.
What drives me crazy is I have tried to quit before and usually last a week or two then I rationalize it saying I've earned it . No more I want to stop for good.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Loyola10] 1
#23063508 - 03/30/16 02:26 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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That is actually part of the problem, Loyola....stopping for good seems like an unattainable goal...breaking it down to a 24 hr. period is attainable. Look, I have 17 yrs. of sobriety and I still won't promise anybody that I won't drink tomorrow...just not today...those 24 hr. periods soon add up to a week...then a month...then a year...so on, so forth.
Alcoholism is the only disease that tells you that you don't have a disease....it centers in the smarter part of our brains and we can't out think it...it always wins in the long run if we let it. That's where the higher power comes in...try just asking your hp for help like I said I do...to just not drink today. I call mine Source or Spirit of the Universe...just some power bigger than myself. What do you have to lose? If it doesn't work then...oh well...my guess is that it will.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23066482 - 03/31/16 08:57 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hi people. I am wondering if there is a way to look at this program in a way that does not involve God. Let me make it more clear for my sake. I can see God as being many things. Does this relate to a religion??? I do not mean to insult anyone here and I mean no negative words. I just would like some answers.
Edited by Anonymous (03/31/16 09:15 AM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #3] 4
#23066863 - 03/31/16 11:28 AM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Use whatever your conception of a power greater than yourself is...Some call it God, one of my friends calls it Gus...Great universal spirit.
AA is in no way a religious program....it is, however, a spiritual one. Some people use Good orderly direction...G.o.d. as a start or "group of drunks" even as a power greater than themselves.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #3]
#23067496 - 03/31/16 02:09 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Hi people. I am wondering if there is a way to look at this program in a way that does not involve God. Let me make it more clear for my sake. I can see God as being many things. Does this relate to a religion??? I do not mean to insult anyone here and I mean no negative words. I just would like some answers.
I met a guy in a meeting last week who has been sober 24 years, and says he still takes issue with the God thing and much of the other language. Yet he still attends 6 meetings a week and has been sober for almost a quarter of a century!!!
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