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CaptainTrips420
SevereConvict

Registered: 09/28/21
Posts: 1,902
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Speckles]
#27957066 - 09/19/22 08:12 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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I was actually thinking about the steps a lot but I don’t think AA would find my higher power acceptable. I find LSD makes me go insane so much so that I actually can think out of the box and then as it wears off I restore my sanity. It’s definitely a power greater than myself I don’t at all control the stuff. I control my actions but not what it shows me sometimes it’s really depressing I had a trip where I realized that money is really the root of evil people will do anything to get ahead in life even if means hurting others.
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Prozac
Hotdogs


Registered: 12/15/16
Posts: 859
Loc: Miami, FL
Last seen: 6 hours, 33 minutes
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Four days sober. Yeah, I had a drink here and there but nothing more. Didn't blast myself with anymore liquor. One drink. Didn't get buzzed. That's progress.
Good luck to you guys.
-------------------- https://www.youtube.com/c/ExurbiA <<Check that out for puppy videos.
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Anonymous #29
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Prozac] 1
#27978373 - 10/02/22 05:16 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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1 month and 2 weeks or so in. Using Disulfiram to quit booze.
My head is clearer. It fucking is. No way around it.
My lows are less low. My depression and anxiety are still there but they arent as poignant.
I remember not long ago considering jumping off my building while blind on my second bottle of rum.
I'm literally cheating. This drug makes it so easy. All I have to do is make sure I take it in the morning and I cant lose.
I've lost .... jesus christ 8 kilos. I'm now 10 kilos away from what I weighed at 18. I'm looking more and more fit. The "chubby" factor is gone. The tone is coming in.
And I'm literally not even trying.
This drug is cheat mode. Fuckin FUCK. I cannot believe I escaped the hole I was in. And it didnt take any effort.
Thank god for this drug. Thank science. And doctors. And the other alcos who told me about it.
I'm astounded. And I dont deserve this. But I will take it.
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Anonymous #26
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The doctor told me it’s not hard getting people off alcohol it’s hard keeping them off alcohol.
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Milleresque
Stranger
Registered: 04/10/22
Posts: 326
Last seen: 2 days, 1 hour
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Hi all, I never explored this part of the forum before, despite several of my posts elsewhere mentioning my problems with alcohol.
After two months being entirely sober (mushrooms were the biggest help during this break) I had a beer on my birthday, which led after a few months to the complete break down of my relationship with my partner who I miss every minute, a forced move of address, complete loneliness and now something close to half a bottle of vodka a night.
I cannot with any certainty state that I have the alcoholic gene; the reasons for my self obliteration are probably complex, arising from issues of self worth, entirely poor decision making re my adult life (now well into my 30s) and an overarching impulsivity. But I can state that I have a serious problem, that I’ve promised myself a thousand times I had to quit, get out, break free, just stop treating myself like I’m someone I hate or don’t want to hear.
A lot of crying in the car park outside of work while I write this. I’ve been to a few AA meetings over the years but they never stuck, in part because of the “cult like” aspect of the thing, but mostly due to circumstances changing, employment getting in the way, etc.
I’ve had easily half a dozen rock bottoms and however I manage to pull myself out I know I’m close to getting to another…and I just don’t want this anymore.
So I guess I’ll tenuously post that I’ll try seeking out a local meeting over the next few days. I need people in my life, any people, because me by myself is just disastrous and in part I know I’m better than this.
Anyway have a great day everyone. I’ll try pull myself together so I can keep my job for another week
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Anonymous #24
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Still sober watching the x files
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:39 PM)
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RobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice


Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 29 days, 2 hours
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Has anyone had success with Tofisopam for alcohol withdrawal? I got some and took a 100mg tab and I thought I was going to have a heart attack, my mind and heart were racing so fast, it seemed to increase the detox effects 10-fold.
Any advice is appreciated. Maybe start with a 25mg dose and see where that goes. Currently switched to Etizolam to get me through the worst, I'm currently tapering the beers as well. I have 72 hours before returning to work clean, to shake this off and sweat it out.
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Anonymous #24
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Still sober. I cant believe how much my life has changed over the last year and 8 months and how rapidly its changing.
Ill find out soon if I can do this internship to begin an entirely new career that will end my 10 years of military service.
Its really tripping me out because if it gets approved ill be back home pretty fast.
Its really weird ending one chapter of your life and starting a new one but ive never been more sure of something even though i dont know exactly what im jumping into.
It felt kind of the same way as when i first joined the military.
Its really scary to think had i not hit my rock bottom with booze i probably would have reenlisted and been trapped in for longer doing something that was making me miserable and honestly sucking the life out of me just as much as booze was.
I am so happy I found AA and sobreity.
I am happy i joined but while working the program i realized that my military career was essentially me running away from my problems and a geographical even though i didnt realize thats what i was doing at the time.
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:39 PM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Congratulations Gilligan, It's good to see you doing well.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Anonymous #24
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620 days sober and 36 days away from starting an entirely new chapter in my life that I never would have been able to concieve as a possibility back when I was drinking.
I am starting to become the person I wanted to be when I was a Child.
Its very interesting how much the personaility changes the longer you are sober. I am very much reverting back to who I was when I was younger in ways.
Alot of those traits i used to believe were weaknesses that have been returning to me I am learning are actually strengths.
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:40 PM)
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gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire



Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 37 minutes
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I find I'm a totally new person influenced by my friend who is a square
My younger self was the alcoholic, I only feel like that when I drink and its mean
Mylast relaspe was a year ago august, where I found someone's ancient bottle of lorazapam, they still kicked my ass for being crumbly
-------------------- For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome. Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it. My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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When I think back to early sobriety which I consider the first eight years or so, I think that the biggest character trait change that came over me as a result of applying the steps to my life was the slow breaking down of ego. This is a powerful change and a complete opposite of my life as a practicing alcoholic.
I found myself thinking of helping others more than of self gratification. My old sponsor used to say "Try to do things that make you feel good about yourself rather than things that make you feel good." To me, the key to spirituality is in helping others. Believe me, the ego is still there just like another drink is always there....service is a way of damping them both down on a day to day basis. I think this is one of the main reasons that I do mushrooms a couple times a year....because I am shown my innermost flaws and what I need to work on during a high dose trip. Lol, I don't bring this fact up to random people in AA because there are many who would draw battle lines in the program. I have told some close AA friends that were curious about this but none of them have ever asked to try them and I have never offered without them asking first.
Anyway, mushrooms are not what my comments are about, ego and loss of ego as a result of the steps is. I didn't even do mushrooms until I was 11 yrs. sober. Every single day upon awakening I ask God to help me not take a drink today and to do his or her will. Another prayer that helped me was just asking to help me do "the next right thing" These both help to take "me" out of the equation.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
Edited by Thayendanegea (11/29/22 09:34 AM)
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Anonymous #24
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Happy New Years guys. Second new years sober.
I look forward to 2023. A couple days away from leaving the military being free again and starting a completely new life.
Peace and love to you all
Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:40 PM)
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Prolific Koi
CheeseHead



Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN
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Put up dem DATES! Seconds count. Late night prayin/meditating and was thinking if the shroomery had any positive experiences with AA. Came across this thread… I didn’t think for crap an Aa group would be on here. Wow wow wow God is good. Anywho, over a year now and life has been wonderful without booze or hard drugs. Mushrooms led me to Aa which then changed my life for the better. Obviously there is always gonna be daily work, but I have faith. Haven’t been to a meeting in a MINUTE! This is something I’ve have been thinking about since I am now diving into the world of mycology and I still want to keep my sanity. With that being said, I really think AA is what triggered my spiritual growth with God(higher power), others, and myself. But if it weren’t for the mushrooms, I don’t think I could have gotten there so quickly. Whether people agree with mushrooms and Aa, I could care less… it worked for me it can work for you and I’m sure it has also helped so many others. There is no excuse as to why I can’t help others as well who might be suffering with a disease that we all know has fucked up so many lives. I think that is what Aa is, help others to help ourselves. Multiply that with some Bible or some sort of higher power and WOWZAS… baby we’ve hit the promise land. 7/27/21 we here. Keep this shit going.
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Prolific Koi
CheeseHead



Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN
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Happy new year Quote:
gillagin780 said: Happy New Years guys. Second new years sober.
I look forward to 2023. A couple days away from leaving the military being free again and starting a completely new life.
Peace and love to you all
Happy new year!!! Love to hear it! Good luck on your journey! Keep us posted.
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Moonlightblue



Registered: 12/07/12
Posts: 455
Last seen: 1 year, 8 days
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Hello, After 15 years or more of alcohol abuse, I am 10 months sober today. Never could of done that before. The most 2 months. I am very happy today. Anyone can do it! Also, I turn 10 years on this site! Bless
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Prolific Koi
CheeseHead



Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN
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Quote:
Moonlightblue said: Hello, After 15 years or more of alcohol abuse, I am 10 months sober today. Never could of done that before. The most 2 months. I am very happy today. Anyone can do it! Also, I turn 10 years on this site! Bless
Happy for you man! that is a huge accomplishment! What a world we live in! Blessings on blessings!
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper


Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,377
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 3 days, 15 hours
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I went to a meeting for the first time in a long time today. I don't really feel much hope for myself
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Prolific Koi
CheeseHead



Registered: 12/26/22
Posts: 556
Loc: Lakeshore, MN
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Always hope! Ask God (or whatever higher power you believe in) for help, theirs is nothing too shitty he can’t help us fix. So many of us all struggle with the shit sucking disease, and all we can do is help one another to help ourselves! Lord… Grant us the serenity, to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Another day livin baby! Congrats on that and hell ya on that meeting I haven’t been to one in a minute… jealous lol. See now you got me trynna go to a meeting! God is good. Love.
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gopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire



Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 37 minutes
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Quote:
morrowasted said: I went to a meeting for the first time in a long time today. I don't really feel much hope for myself
I can give you a link to a big book thumping group, its mostly sex and love and codependt meetings, but they follow the big book to the word, just replaceing drinking with thinking, the book does say the disease is centered in the mind
There is a lit of alcoholics in the group too, so if you wanted a sponsor a fellow named kimia could hook you up with an alcoholic sponsor
The best time to do the steps is when you think life is hopeless, it gives you something to accomplish and feel good about
The step work is the only thing that kept me going last year, I was in a hopeless state of mind, I learned a lot
-------------------- For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome. Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it. My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy
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