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Invisibleunam sanctum
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Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: gopher]
    #27751346 - 04/25/22 09:37 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

\


Edited by unam sanctum (04/26/22 08:15 PM)


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: unam sanctum]
    #27751803 - 04/26/22 08:52 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Yes it's easy to feel it's identity and to brag about how much you drink or how bad it is, that's called "junky pride", even in sobriety it can crop up with people doing a 5th step, trying to shock a sponsor/sponsee with details

I don't know of any AA meetings today, but I know a big book focused SLAA meeting at 2pm est (3hours from now), you could still relate to the underlying feelings of addiction, if you want to check it out I'll post the deetz


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


Edited by gopher (04/26/22 08:53 AM)


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Anonymous #24

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: gopher] * 1
    #27758395 - 05/01/22 05:46 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Another day sober.  I am just really thankful for it.  I woke up kind of feeling sick today.  It reminded me what it felt like to be hung over except without the anxiety and mental anguish.  When i was drinking i felt like this multiple times a week except it was much more horrible.

In a weird way im kind of thankful for feeling sick today because it gave me a slight taste of what my life was like when i was drinking and it made me appreciate this sobreity I have now.

I am really happy im not subjecting myself to that self induced hell today.

I hope you are all doing well.


Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:42 PM)


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Anonymous #24

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Anonymous #24]
    #27769030 - 05/08/22 06:41 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Still sober.  I have more good days than bad. 

Sometimes the bad days can be good because they remind me I need to work the program and continue doing the work to remain sober and figure out why im feeling weird when something feels off and to go to meetings.


Right now the reason im feeling off is because im about to make a major move back to the US.

The reason im feeling weird about it is because im going back to a city where I started falling deeper into alcoholism. 

I am happy to be returning to the states.

Once i get back there my number 1 mission is to seek out AA meetings there.  Ill be there for either 6 months or a year then ill be getting out of the military and hopefully starting a new career back in my home state.


Writing this out has helped me kind of figure out why i was feeling wobbly.  Its funny how stress sneaks up on you.  I think I would have that figured out by now but now and then it does get the drop on me before i realize it.

Thank God for the program though because its given me skills to recognize when its happening and then what to do once i recognize stress is starting to fuck with my head again.

I  go to meetings now and start working the steps and dealing with my mental bullshit  instead of running away from it by drinking  or supressing it in other ways.

Peace


Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:43 PM)


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OfflineCaptainTrips420
SevereConvict

Registered: 09/28/21
Posts: 1,902
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Anonymous #24]
    #27792567 - 05/25/22 04:21 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

After a experience with a psychedelic I realized how I’m making myself feel sick like I’m going out of my way to harm to myself because it feels good until it wears off. Anyway I’m actually pretty serious about quitting drinking I just can’t enjoy it unless I’m drinking 200+ml and I feel like trash in the morning like I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to live addicted to alcohol but I don’t have the ability to attend AA. Im hoping I can do this myself but I don’t even feel like drinking at all is the strange thing. I know I’m going to regret it if I do but I feel like I just have after effects from tripping yesterday. Im worried I won’t feel like I do currently and drink. I can see how my life could still be wonderful without alcohol and that’s something I wouldn’t have comprehend a few days ago. I have definitely been cutting back though I didn’t drink daily but only because I’m convinced I’ll get addicted quicker.


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: CaptainTrips420] * 1
    #27792699 - 05/25/22 06:25 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

You can attend online meetings, didn't I give you the link for my Wednesday one?

Good luck either way


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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OfflineCaptainTrips420
SevereConvict

Registered: 09/28/21
Posts: 1,902
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: gopher]
    #27792742 - 05/25/22 06:50 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

I keep forgetting and I also wouldn’t be able to speak I got people watching me clueless about my recreational activity’s. If they find out I’m drinking or using illegal drugs they would have me fired from my job and unable to leave the property. It’s a small miracle I get away with so much but it’s all the more reason not to drink. I also can buy more video games LSD and weed. I have a theory I can eat a tryptamine and a week later a lysergamide and then repeat a week later without developing a tolerance. HPPD doesn’t happen to me I don’t get after effects from psychedelics except a greater perspective on life.


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: CaptainTrips420]
    #27793378 - 05/26/22 07:41 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

You dont have to speak, just go and listen for a while and learn the ropes

If 12 step is for you though, you will eventually feel compelled to speak, they will pose a topic that you think is perfect to speak on

Anyways you can always lie if someone asks, dont say you are drinking, you just enjoy the rooms, little tidbit, AA is full of people who dont drink


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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OfflineRobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice
Male

Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 29 days, 2 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: gopher] * 3
    #27800557 - 05/31/22 04:05 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Hi, I'm Rob.  I'm an alcoholic and I'm detoxing today, tapering.  I had a good sobriety run in 2019 after drinking a 750ml Vodka daily and a 1.75L on weekend nights, it took about 10 days to finally tame it.  I went about 6 months sober then fell into the couple beers & couple shots after work each night, sadly to say it's escalated to a six pack a night and a 12-pack weekends, sometimes more.

This Memorial weekend I knew I would slip, waking up to beers and drinking all day.  So sick of this cycle, I missed work today (thankfully I own my own business).  My dad passed last month and it started escalating.

I'm done with this BS although I've said it many times, I want my dad to look down and be proud.  Thank God for my understanding wife.  I'll be touching back in here daily just to absorb the good vibes.

Day 1!!


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: RobZombie68] * 2
    #27800995 - 05/31/22 11:57 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

This isn’t snarky or sarcastic or anything. I’m serious as fuck. I got the simplest advice and if you follow it you’ll have a 100% success rate. Do not, under any circumstances, put any alcohol in your mouth. When I dried up I decided I’d call 911 before I drank.

You went six months but were you going to meetings. You got to remember, everyday for the rest of your life is a fight for your life. You forget the horror of alcoholic drinking and it’s back into the the abyss. Back to the despair.

Don’t drink. That’s all it is. You don’t even have to do anything. It’s the absence of behavior. It’s simply not doing something. Even a dumb ass knucklehead like me can NOT do something.

Stay strong brother. Use every weapon in your toolkit. If it’s God it’s God. If it’s your group it’s your group. If plain will power didn’t work last time then build a new arsenal. It’s the fight for your life. Don’t drink.


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[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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Anonymous #24

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #27801650 - 06/01/22 03:57 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Welcome Rob!  Its good to see you!

One thing that helped me when i was in the beginning was just watching and listening to other peoples experiences.  I listened to alot of rock stars stories of recovery. Alice Cooper has an awesome story.  A dude i found recently who has a really interesting story is Anthony H.  He is an oscar winning actor who was in a famous movie called Silence of the Lambs.

Like seriously especially if you cant make it to a meeting but you are feeling the madness start to fuck with you watch these videos.  They help alot.


Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:43 PM)


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Anonymous #24

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Anonymous #24] * 1
    #27806708 - 06/05/22 08:12 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

443 days sober.

Its been awesome.

Stressed though by things completely outside of my control fucking up my move back to the US.

It will all be solved somehow.  Just taking it as one of those to accept the things I cannot change type of situations.  At the very least none of this was caused by my own actions haha.

However its really soldifying my decision to get out of the military.  I cant really tolerate the incompetence of this shit for much longer.    I personally believe i was born an alcoholic but the Military without a doubt accelerated the progression into my alcoholism. 

The more I progress in sobreity and free myself from coercive influence's like alcohol, soceital shit and financial stuff.  The more my desire to serve disapates.  I paid off all my debts, im working the program to keep alcohols influence at bay.  Now really the final debt i have to pay is one of time to complete this military contract which i only have about a year left.

Ill have 10 years of service once this contracts over and im just completely done.  I have no desire to go to the reserves or ever wear a military uniform again.  Almost as much as i never want to drink again.  In my mind alcoholism and the military are kind of intertwined and occupy similar spaces in my mind and heart.


Edited by Anonymous (08/17/23 01:43 PM)


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: RobZombie68] * 1
    #27806774 - 06/05/22 09:28 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

You hanging tough Rob?


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
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Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #27831761 - 06/22/22 01:21 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

I've just finished reading the entire R.I.P forum in the vets lounge and it just takes my breath away like a boulder sitting on my chest. For those of you who do not have access to this thread yet, here is the list of Shroomerites who have passed on, mostly due to opiates or alcohol/opiate/benzo combination od's. It's just so depressing...



Ripper
LorTab
Dreamer987
Jeelix
Hippie3
psilocybe_cubensis
ngnyus
hevvy_psi
UncleLuke
A0999
Pnut
Aaronumbra
ViBrAnT
D4A2N0K
Mr Mushrooms
NJDevil
mariasabina
Hanky
Todcasil
Muppet
DepthToTheCore
0xyg3n
Enter
Wolfgang
Noiso
TrancedShroom
spun
tony serro
Bats
Cubie
igwna
hungrygoldfish
RandalFlagg
matts
Joshisstoned
KillerSpores
JuniorMajesty
aNeway2sayHooray
lepkaun
Phred
LordSenate
Jamio
Imperfectiam
Lallafa
Nirvhead
mattritt
LakeViewMJ
Diploid
ZippoZ
GnuBobo
zappaisgod
AheardOfYaks
Acidic_Sloth
OrgasmicBanana
mile69
Morbiddoctor
Solitude
woodruss67
Dankington
Rob Cypher
Pseudopod
ThatKidWithTheFace
Shlong
Toilet duk/Le canard
Cyclohexylamine/Tymoteusz3
CosmicJoke
ModestMouse
Blissedout
Jvells
Icelander
Mush 4 Brains
tbozezfire#1
TripityDooDaDay
Tito123
fantasylndvictm
keyohnah
Big Worm
MrSinister
Fungi_X
BothHands
MarkostheGnostic
Zombi3
PFShroomer
Captainpaps
ThaiLipaYai
Gretchenmeister
JokeShopBeard
Taco Chef / Novumorganum
Vinsue

Rest in peace, friends


Edited by mndfreeze (03/18/22 01:33 PM)

It's so easy to tell someone to "Just stop drinking or using" but can be a mountain range to cross for someone trying to stop. I make no bones about it...I am truly lucky and blessed to still be sucking air and to be sober for a few 24 hrs. My moment of reckoning came in a jail cell in 1999 when I couldn't deny my alcoholism because I was shaking out of my skin from withdrawals and couldn't blame it on coffee or whatever else I could think up. Booze was coming out of every pore in my body....I couldn't keep a single thought for more than a second and my mind was racing...a thousand things going through my head and I couldn't grab on to a single one of them. I had just got out of jail 2 weeks earlier for my 4th DUI...this would be my 6th.

I had been to AA / NA for 10 yrs on a court slip before this...always comparing myself out and telling myself that if I wanted to stop, I would but I certainly wouldn't do it because someone told me to.

Turns out, that is what drew me back into AA...the mere fact that no one told me I had to stop drinking...just that if I wanted what they had I should take some suggestions. The one recurring suggestion that I had avoided for those 10 years was to do a simple thing like ask a God of my understanding for help. "Ask for help and mean it" they said. It took all of that time and beating myself up to finally get to that point. I finally desperately mumbled out "God help me, please" and then went to a meeting when I was bailed out. It was that humble request aimed at an entity that I wasn't sure even existed that changed my life forever and started me on a journey of healing and forgiving and humility. I simply had to do a few simple things (suggestions) The cofounder of AA Dr. Bob Smith, who was a physician would give a prescription to newcomers that said:
1) Trust God
2) Clean House
3) Help others
This was the 12 steps broken down to their simplest form and I could grasp that. For me and for a lot of others, AA or even NA was my last chance. Please, if anyone here is struggling and just needs an ear, please PM me with your phone number and I'll listen to you.

This list is way too long.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Anonymous #29

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #27833227 - 06/23/22 04:12 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Jesus christ. God save us.


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #27833523 - 06/23/22 07:25 PM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Thanks for putting your heart out there Thay


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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OfflineCaptainTrips420
SevereConvict

Registered: 09/28/21
Posts: 1,902
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #27835681 - 06/25/22 08:11 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

I haven’t drank in exactly 7 days. I really can’t stop thinking about alcohol though I don’t know how to stop missing it. I could read the big book but I have had a change in mindset I really understand “and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” They always said that at the meetings and I never thought I could not be angry about getting my money stolen or having people treat me bad but I really understand it doesn’t matter and I should live to make the world a better place not dwell on the past.

1P-LSD really helped me overcome past anger I’m no longer upset at anyone but myself because I can get out of trouble it’s just I’m too addicted to not drink. I wish I had more self control maybe I should pray I don’t know what to do I feel like I should work on my problems but every time I think about alcohol to hard I want it.

Now I have a job I could buy any alcohol in the store it’s harder than ever not to drink because I can definitely afford the cheap stuff I’m used to. Problem is I do actually enjoy some alcoholic drinks flavor on 1P-LSD I was imagining the taste of Budweiser at one point so hard I swear it was like I had just drank some. It makes my mouth watery just thinking about it. I have a problem and I admit it I just don’t think I can do much about it.


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: CaptainTrips420]
    #27835693 - 06/25/22 08:28 AM (1 year, 7 months ago)

Quote:

  I haven’t drank in exactly 7 days.




I think there’s a 4 day milestone then a 12 day milestone.

It’s shocking how hard early sobriety is

You’re doing great.


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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Invisibleblazedandconfused
Male

Registered: 06/23/13
Posts: 107
Loc: mothership
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #27839868 - 06/27/22 10:24 PM (1 year, 6 months ago)

I really appreciate everyone sharing their experience in here, especially those still struggling or learning how to live a new life. It reminds me of what I was like and renews gratitude for where I am now.

I came to AA after I unsuccessfully tried everything else I could think of(numerous times for scientific accuracy :wink: ). I just couldn't stay stopped, no matter the pain I felt and caused. For me it wasn't as simple as just not drinking, I was fucking hopeless. I thought I was just a POS because I couldn't develop the willpower to stay stopped, but really I was just very sick.

Now I'm free, I go anywhere normal folks go and don't struggle with thoughts of picking back up.  I owe that freedom to the people who helped me along the way. I pay it back by helping others down the path that I took.

My hope is that anyone who was as sick as me and is desperate to make a change finds their answer to their dilemma.


--------------------
of all the things ive lost i miss my mind the most.


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OfflineCaptainTrips420
SevereConvict

Registered: 09/28/21
Posts: 1,902
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: blazedandconfused] * 1
    #27841068 - 06/28/22 05:39 PM (1 year, 6 months ago)

I’m really worried because I haven’t been drinking mostly because the only store close to me doesn’t sell alcohol. Tomorrow I will have the opportunity to buy some because I’m going home but I’m going to try to quit I’m very serious about wanting to. I’m also trying to quit nicotine. If I make it to next Saturday that’s two weeks of not drinking I just need to think day to day though. It’s not as easy to quit as it sounds.


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