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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#22955153 - 02/28/16 01:29 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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70 days clean today (12/21/15)
been thinking alot about using. not necessarily booze but stims. but i know if i go get some adderall or something i'll want a sedative for the comedown and i know vistaril won't cut it. kind of losing my momemtum and motivation since getting clean. ive been so bored lately. meetings are enjoyable but i just dnt feel like geting up and going today.
just going to drink some coffe and keep smoking like a chimney i guess
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Loyola10
Stranger

Registered: 02/06/16
Posts: 863
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin]
#22955193 - 02/28/16 01:45 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gresh said: 70 days clean today (12/21/15)
been thinking alot about using. not necessarily booze but stims. but i know if i go get some adderall or something i'll want a sedative for the comedown and i know vistaril won't cut it. kind of losing my momemtum and motivation since getting clean. ive been so bored lately. meetings are enjoyable but i just dnt feel like geting up and going today.
just going to drink some coffe and keep smoking like a chimney i guess
Throw yourself into your work or a hobby do something you enjoy
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Loyola10]
#22955210 - 02/28/16 01:49 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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yeah i have a job lined up in tech support but i'm waiting till i'm done with outpatient rehab, its 3 days a week plus they make you get your paper signed at 5 meetings
been trying to get back into gaming but i always get bored like 1/4th through the game and start a new one and then get bored of that. Its kind of why i'm missing stims, cause i know if i took some adderall i could keep myself occupied for hours.
been reading alot as well, started a new series called the chronicles of thomas covenant. its good but i only read about an hour a day cause the small text is hard on my eyes
just talked to my sponsor for a bit. Apparently he traps fish and crawfish and then lets them go cause theres too much mercury in the water why trap them hes a cool guy though. hes into computers like myself
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Loyola10
Stranger

Registered: 02/06/16
Posts: 863
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin]
#22955232 - 02/28/16 01:55 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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It's been a struggle for me to get off stims however it's been two years and I can be quite productive I don't even drink coffee anymore. Just stick with it I know this probly sounds cliche but don't take shortcuts in the long run it will hurt. Also try getting a regular workout routine I feel so much better after a good run.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#22955247 - 02/28/16 02:00 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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I can't call myself sober anymore. I'm not strung out or daily using anything, but I've been partying again honestly.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Dark_Star]
#22955290 - 02/28/16 02:13 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Gresh what's your first name?
And it's cool Dark Star. To thine ownself be true.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#22955313 - 02/28/16 02:20 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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.
Edited by Adolin (02/28/16 02:23 PM)
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Adolin]
#22955321 - 02/28/16 02:22 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Added you now! Congrats on the big 70. That's a milestone. I remember we used to talk before some years back. You've come a long way. Stay the course my friend!
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#22958226 - 02/29/16 10:46 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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still cant make it past a few days. not sure what hope i have lately no days i can stay sober, sad to say
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Soularize
slanted and enchanted


Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#22960319 - 02/29/16 11:16 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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I feel you, man. I had several months clean this past summer and lost it after feeling like nothing but a blank page during the last few weeks of my sobriety. Somebody will probably follow this post up by simply stating that we need to work a more rigorous program or something. It's tough sometimes just keeping your engine going in this life, this life that seems to be in the business of crushing people, regardless of whether your're an alcoholic or a "normy" or whatever other type of humanoid might exist. Just hang in there. Fall apart if you must, just not down. A friend of mine assures me that our souls are just stuck in the heaviest point of the pendulum.
I'll probably stop posting in this thread because I don't feel like I have enough positivity to offer right now, not when it comes to sobriety anyhow. I wish all of you fine people the best
-------------------- "All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Soularize] 1
#22961513 - 03/01/16 10:45 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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In my experience Soul, The people who smile all the time are usually locked away in a psych ward. The highs and lows of early sobriety look like an EKG on a graph...our goal is to get them a little more like a sin wave. "This too shall pass" comes to mind or "It's always darkest before the dawn"...Just realize that there is absolutely nothing that gets thrown your way that a drink will make better. Just don't drink today...tomorrow is only tomorrow, today....I went to jail twice during my first year of sobriety...and, if I looked at my life on paper...I would have been a failure.By not drinking and not dying a day at a time, I have achieved some quality long term sobriety. I had to get out of myself and learn to help others as best as I could. One last thing....I know it sounds hokey...but try asking God for help against that first drink and to do his or her will. If it doesn't work for you...you don't have to tell anyone that you did it.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#22963544 - 03/01/16 08:34 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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The hardest day of my life.. I'm still sober. I didn't do it. I came so close to sitting at the bar and ending but God saved me tonight.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#22964688 - 03/02/16 08:15 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Good for you....that would be a"great day"...you got through that...you can get through anything. Was there anything in particular that you recognized God's influence?
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#22966137 - 03/02/16 04:00 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Good for you....that would be a"great day"...you got through that...you can get through anything. Was there anything in particular that you recognized God's influence?
He finally told me to leave that fucking adulterous woman alone because I'll go even more insane crazy and delusional.
A friend in my program just happened to be walking by as I walked the green mile (to the bar). He saved me.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
Edited by JustForToday (03/02/16 04:01 PM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#22968908 - 03/03/16 10:19 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
A friend in my program just happened to be walking by as I walked the green mile (to the bar). He saved me.
Kinda funny how that happened...huh? One example that comes to mind with me in my early sobriety...around 2 or 3 years sober, I think...I had tickets to see Santana at a pavilion...The girl that agreed to go with me cancelled at the last minute, so I went by myself, kinda bummed....I remember sitting there under the pavilion looking around at everyone ...they all seemed to have a beer in their hand...and the thought came across my mind....WTF....I could drink a beer and no-one would know....then I hear my name from someone behind me...lol, it was one of my friends from my home group directly 2 rows behind me.....The thought of a cold beer was gone...I had prayed that morning and before I left home to God to help me not take a drink.
I don't believe in coincidence anymore.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Soularize
slanted and enchanted


Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
#22969920 - 03/03/16 03:53 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Wow, that is actually really awesome, and pretty trippy!
-------------------- "All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Soularize]
#22971866 - 03/04/16 05:51 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Update. We have one person celebrating this month! If you are also celebrating please drop your first name and sober date. I will add it. On the last Saturday of this month I will come back and ask you how you did it.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Soularize
slanted and enchanted


Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#23005857 - 03/14/16 12:51 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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I spent 90 dollars at jack in the box this weekend, I lost my phone, and I fell down outside a bar last night, clipping the back of my head on a bench before reaching the pavement. I'm going to see my doctor later today, just to make sure I didn't do any serious damage. Feels like there are at least 2 or 3 lumps back there, and it hurts bad. I'm looking into rehab options in my area and will probably be checking into one shortly, likely beginning this week.
For anyone who reads this, and is maybe considering relapsing, please don't. It's a jungle out here, why go back into "the shit"? It's still shitty, trust me. That doesn't change. Of all the bruises and cuts and aches and shakes and all that other crap, I can say for sure that in my own experience as an alcoholic, the spiritual pain reigns supreme. I wake up every morning in cold sweat and dread, wishing I was a different person. The humility and remorse I feel is almost unbearable. I don't know how I even do this, or how anyone does. I've started to actually wonder if this world would be better off without me. And I don't ask that question in a self-piteous or melodramatic way. I really mean it. I just seem to fuck things up, and leave a lot of people pissed off or even disturbed.
Anyway, I was asking myself lately what it would be like to die as a sad, miserable drunkard. Physically I'm sure it would suck, though I'm not really all that concerned about my body. But my spirit, or soul, or whatever other name you call that thing, what happens to that? I just want my spirit to be free and at peace for once. I've decided that I will not die a drunk, and am committing myself fully to anything and everything it takes to never have a drink again. I probably won't be back on here for some time, depending on how practical the rehab options are. Wish me luck.
BTW - I did not eat all 90 dollars worth of jack in the box. I handed out about 20 jumbo jacks to homeless people downtown yesterday. Most of them were quite appreciative.
-------------------- "All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Soularize]
#23006252 - 03/14/16 03:11 PM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sounds like you made the decision....may be the best day of your life. Maybe say a prayer and ask for help....something like...God, please help me to stop this nonsense...help me to not drink and drug...help me to do your will, not mine. Short and sweet....What do you have to lose? I said a similar prayer as that 17 yrs. ago on this very day from a jail cell and haven't had a drink since.
This God shit really does work Soul...just ask.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] 2
#23008668 - 03/15/16 08:24 AM (7 years, 10 months ago) |
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Picked this up at my 7:00 a.m. meeting. Today is 17 yrs. since my last drink.....Not sure if you can read it, but the words around the chip say " To thine own self be true"...From that and the 12 steps come this odd feeling called "peace of mind"...not overrated.

I tell newcomers to not get caught up in lengthy periods of sobriety...when, in fact....all any of us have is today and those todays add up one day at a time.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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