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sui
I love you.


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Been drinking a lot, dealing with stress, not able to find work, my diet sucks, Im lacking motivation, but its not too bad, drank one beer today, I had a little over two yesterday, didnt finish the last one. I found some good weed though and that helps.
Was up to a twelver a day for a week or so. The stress from not being able to eat as healthy as i like and not being able to save money, Is getting, to me and it doesnt help to deal with the stress by buying beer. Least its not whiskey though!, I never drank a tone of liquor.
The fridge gets delivered on monday. Its going to be nice to be able to store food, It will improve my mood, and Ill be able to create some better routines for myself. Being able to get up and drink some coffee and have breakfast before i go out and make my money for the day will be awesome. Plus i wont have to immediately spend the money i make if i want to eat something.
I really like drinking beer, but i dont want to drink 12 a day.
I feel like my motivation will improve, I feel like crap and it is unmotivating if you feel you have to skip meals in order to save money. It makes it hard to want to be at my house if i cant make healthy food and just end up out spending what money i have.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Bumholio]
#25651265 - 12/01/18 06:55 PM (5 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm on the wagon. I'm drinking a twelver whenever I sit down to drink lately.
It's making me feel like shit.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: sui]
#25651288 - 12/01/18 07:10 PM (5 years, 1 month ago) |
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I resist against AA a lot. My dad was in the program all growing up. He is still pretty active and is on the board of the local meeting hall. I feel like it would be easier for me to not drink if my social life was better than it is. Ive been bored and lonely and I've been drinking alone. I get like 5 tallcans and stay up all night drinking. I can't seem to shut my brain off and sleep at a normal hour. It's pretty lame.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I relapsed.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: sui]
#26357726 - 12/02/19 06:40 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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I think it was three days.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea] 1
#26359666 - 12/03/19 05:40 PM (4 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's pretty crazy. I started 24 hours ago abouts.
Totally lost track of time, usually I have a better handle on the passage of time. Tonight it was crazy, it felt like I blacked out but I didn't. I realized it was noon the next day and was like 😮 wtf.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I'm struggling today. Lonely depressed hungry sad. I'm trying to busk some money but I have no motivation and am playing like shit.
This sucks.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I'm pretty close to getting drunk.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I've had one beer in two weeks. I just broke and got one.
I feel like shit.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I became homeless by choice to play guitar everyday. I'm amazed at how easy it was for so long. 10 years went by before I even knew it.
Now I don't know what to do. My entire family has ostracized me.
Nobody will hire me. My resume is shit and the medical problems are piling up with no way to deal with them.
I have a cyst in my palm from overdoing the guitar, but if I stop playing I starve.
It's not getting any better. So now my options are go to work and fund war and nuclear weapons and I just do not agree with it.
I donnt feel I can be a moral person and pay taxes for war and nuclear weapons.
My mother said, "I can't have a relationship with you if your playing guitar on the street"
I think about suicide all the time now. I'm priced out of California and have no hope of renting anything there, I have never driven cars so I can't even get anywhere have anywhere to sleep or put my things.
I keep losing everything. I went through 3 guitars this month and am on my 4th.
I'm sick and tired of the hypocrisy of American society. Ugh.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Love you too bro. Not having weed around is making me crazy.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
Edited by sui (01/17/23 04:46 PM)
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I know right?
I keep telling myself I'm gonna start AA. And I can't find the motivation.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Guitar is the only thing I have ever found better than any drug, almost better than love.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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I just found a big book in my closet!
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Bill W took LSD and wanted to incorporate it into the program.
He was sober for 20 years but depressed, and LSD helped him.
Also when he died he was begging for a shot of whiskey and they withheld it.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Quote:
Prolific Koi said: What got him on Aa

What what do you mean? He was one of the founders in the 30s he wasn't exposed to LSD until the 50s.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#28426377 - 08/08/23 09:20 PM (5 months, 17 days ago) |
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Bill w was one of the first people to ever do LSD before it was widely available
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday] 1
#28428381 - 08/10/23 12:39 PM (5 months, 16 days ago) |
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Depends on the situation I guess.
Problem I have with AA is all the god talk.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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sui
I love you.



Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
#28428566 - 08/10/23 02:56 PM (5 months, 15 days ago) |
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Sure but, that can and a lot of times does involve psychedelics.
Our ideas of religion were influenced by psychoactives in the first place.
-------------------- "There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix
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