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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22914439 - 02/17/16 03:44 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I went to 2 AA meetings the other day voluntairly. It was nice talking to people who get addiction. Lot of good  thoughts as well. I plan on going more but I need to kick again. Alcohol wds are a fucking bitch. And Im an ex heroin addict. 3 years clean of that.

They were all really nice but they all grilled me too.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #22921586 - 02/18/16 11:26 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I dunno what your talking about. The meetings I go to they hand coffee out like candy. I don't drink coffee though but whatever.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #23462913 - 07/21/16 03:10 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I immediately crash and burned. I love aa the people are so nice. But I fucked up as things were going to well. And now I'm sick as fuck. Again. I got 20 days then got depressed and lonely everyone is going out having fun and just leaving me behind.

I felt like I was a leper and now Im balls deep in wd. Which makes it even harder. I know exactly what can make my skin stop crawling. All though I'm not shaky I'm not as deep as I've been before. But it feels so much harder now. Fuck man this sucks. I was happy it was so nice not thinking your still sleeping but I'm rolling side to side. I dream a lot when I finally do. I lived multiple lifetimes. Fuck I need to puke it's only been 4 hours. Fuck.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #23462926 - 07/21/16 03:13 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I strayed from the group for a day. And I just wanted to be normal. I can only work and sleep so long. And the majority of my life has been spent not sober. I'm still trying to figure this out.

The past 2 days I have considered suicide 50 times a minute. But nothing sounds fun and my friend took my guns.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23462956 - 07/21/16 03:24 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I know it is. I did it and got 20 days. It's a lot harder because of the withdraws. I'm 4 years clean of heroin and switched to alcohol as its a depressant. I would take h wd over alcohol any day.

It's cheap and everywhere. Fuck.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23462961 - 07/21/16 03:27 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JustForToday said:
I was just lucky I had no money otherwise I would have bought more which I am thinking about now..



Quote:

JustForToday said:
I was just lucky I had no money otherwise I would have bought more which I am thinking about now..




I had a really good job. I still have money. I'm just buying things that I haven't even touched. And chain smoking. Money has definitely helped me sober up in the past. But that is not an issue. Well i'ma have to clean up and get more work. Which I'm already being offered. But I just can't seem to wake up. I know it's going to take 3 days I haven't gotten to the purge yet but it's a nightmare.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #23462980 - 07/21/16 03:34 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

My sponsor asked me in a week? Ive gotten to the point I'm far more susceptible to the effects of them. I don't even drink caffeine. A sip of an 8 Oz cup I'm jittery bouncing off the walls. It's why I don't really consume drugs anymore.

Nah I wouldn't ever do that it would break my mom's heart. And I'm too much of a pussy. But that is the thought going through my mind every time the waves come. All I really want is to be talked to. That's what makes me not think about it anymore. Well it's pushed to the side.

My friend just came by and we watched a bunch of funny videos. Laughter is my favorite drug. Serotonin is the shit.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23462996 - 07/21/16 03:39 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JustForToday said:
Go to a detox. Alcohol should not be discontinued on your own. I've been through benzo withdrawal, went to a detox and still almost died from it. Don't wait any longer go right away.




Beds are always full. I know what needs to happen. It's going to take 4 days and a taper. I've been doing this for 5 years. It's a nightmare I honestly wish I just knew someone with a benzo script. I'll totally spend cash on that.

It's 3 days of shitty life. First day shit. 2nd is generally purge night as I call it. Dumping sweat and toxins. But I dream incredibly vividly. 3rd day still not super OK but your at the edge of the woods. Eat a lot and consume a ton of water. Vitamins help too as your not going to really want to eat at all. I just got done force feeding myself.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement]
    #23463102 - 07/21/16 04:12 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

The first step. Your powerless. All the people in my group are captains of industry. I was talking to someone. Why is that as its something I noticed. Because we don't like to be told what to do. A huge thing is about control.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement]
    #23463112 - 07/21/16 04:15 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
I'm so scared to put down the bottle.  It has been my coping mechanism for a while now.  Theres this bug in my head that tells me to drink and then i drink.  I'm up to nearly 700ml of whiskey a day right now and thats being conservative.  I don't know what to do I know it's killing me and taking control and I feel powerless.



Quote:

TheMovement said:
I'm so scared to put down the bottle.  It has been my coping mechanism for a while now.  Theres this bug in my head that tells me to drink and then i drink.  I'm up to nearly 700ml of whiskey a day right now and thats being conservative.  I don't know what to do I know it's killing me and taking control and I feel powerless.





I'm terrified to be awake right now. Every minute feels like an hour.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23463145 - 07/21/16 04:25 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Can't. Until next year. :shrug:

But that's exactly how I feel I've gone through all of the options for killing myself in a minute. None of it sounds painless and I can't do that to my Ma or siblings. Just gotta deal. Curse God or whatever and sweat it out.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #23463167 - 07/21/16 04:29 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Can't. Until next year. :shrug:

But that's exactly how I feel I've gone through all of the options for killing myself in a minute. None of it sounds painless and I can't do that to my Ma or siblings. Just gotta deal. Curse God or whatever and sweat it out.



Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Can't. Until next year. :shrug:

But that's exactly how I feel I've gone through all of the options for killing myself in a minute. None of it sounds painless and I can't do that to my Ma or siblings. Just gotta deal. Curse God or whatever and sweat it out.




But yes I'm back at group. That's the important part. Dealing with this. But it's an hour of my day where I'm around people that understand and care. And my life got insanely better in 20 days.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #23463173 - 07/21/16 04:30 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I didn't consider rail road tracks though. :lol:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Enjoywho]
    #23463219 - 07/21/16 04:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

The fucked up thing about it is I went to a bbq from fourth of July weekend. I was playing basketball with there kids. There all way older than me I'm the youngest. That's when I got depressed as none of them really talked to me.

I went and watched the fire works. Fuck man give me a beer. I just hate bothering people.


They all have wives and kids. Ya I'm getting sober but I get the luxury of having someone to love. Which I think they shouldn't call it addiction they should call it bonding. :shrug:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Registered: 07/06/09
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #23463633 - 07/21/16 06:54 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

It's all about control. That's why what is it the 4th step is giving control to a higher power.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #23463751 - 07/21/16 07:36 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I'm spiritual. But if you aren't there just mantras. The serenity prayer I say over and over. Grant me the serenity. To accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. It's just a great thought to live by. A mantra.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Extras: Unfilter Print Post Top
OfflineEnjoywho
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Registered: 07/06/09
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement]
    #23464038 - 07/21/16 09:16 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

There's an entire chapter in the book to the agnostic/atheist. Some dude came in and the discussion was about it. I'm not here because I need a drink my wife just pissed me the fuck off. But he told this entire story about how his sponsor took him to a park with a group  of kids playing? Pick one. Why? That's your higher power.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Registered: 07/06/09
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheMovement]
    #23464052 - 07/21/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
That first drink.  Oh i'll only have one.  You wake up at 5 am and you pissed your pants, your house is a mess.

As soon as alcohol enters my system I have no control.  It doesnt help there is a liquor store right next door. 

I'm not drinking today.  Go get a nip.  No im not drinking today.  go get a nip.  im NOT drinking today.  go get a nip.ok yeah sounds good just 1 right?




It isn't the last drink that gets you drunk its the first. I spiral immediately out of control. I'm nowhere where I want to be.

What finally made me go to aa was going to the hospital. The doctor just told me holy shit you must have an insane tolerance. I was at.3 and I hadn't drank in 12 hours. You appear to be fine. Other than that your healthy and fine. Normal 25 year old. Shrug.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Extras: Unfilter Print Post Top
OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23465957 - 07/22/16 12:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Ya that's why I go. The point of his story was the fact it doesn't matter what your higher power is. It's not letting go as your self is what got you in this mess. Fuck man its so much harder sobering up again. I've done this a million and one times. This is a living nightmare.

Why can't I be normal. I knew exactly what was going to happen. No not this time. And Its not like it was super fun or anything. It hasn't been fun in years. I have the illusion that it is but I was so much happier in 20 days than I've been in 10 years.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Extras: Unfilter Print Post Top
OfflineEnjoywho
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Registered: 07/06/09
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23466575 - 07/22/16 04:06 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

The serenity prayer I recite constantly. I don't even realize I'm doing it. It's a great thought to live by.

Fucking super fantastic. Apparently someone has my wallet and is spending my money. Fucking just great all I want to do is get past wds. Now this. Fucking not making it easy one bit. When it rains it fucking pours. I just want to have 3 days to sober up as my body is just trashed. Fucking great. More to deal with. God fucking damnit. The world is not making this fucking easy at all.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Extras: Unfilter Print Post Top
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