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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22642067 - 12/11/15 10:10 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Ive been really scared lately

I've been drinking about a half a case of beer(15) and lately it just hasnt been doing it for me. alcohol used to really help me calm me down and help but lately my mind has been going crazy in circles and the booze just doesnt do it anymore.

I joined an alocholic supprt group online a few hours ago but havn't gotten any responses yet so i figured i'd pop into the shroomery.

i know i need to get into AA and actually help myself, but damn, its so hard. I'm scared to go because 1: i have horrible social anxity and 2: i'm not sure if i can actually stop drinking. i feel like my brain really does 'need' it and i just dont know what the fuck to do

I need to get up and help myself but its so fucking scarey. i dont know what to do


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #22642207 - 12/11/15 10:48 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
How bad are your withdrawal symptoms in the morning, gresh?





Its hard to tell apart the withdrawls from straight-up nuttty-ness that is me

But generally, in the morning i start out "half awake" for awhile, which basically means i'm still dreaming

once i wake up completely, my heart jumps to about 150-180 BPM. my upper body starts pounding and i sweat alot.

before i actually wake up its 50-75.
I used to be able to drink my heart rate down but it just doesnt work anymore. ive had several beers and then switched to wine and my BPM is still high and my mind is racing


I'm working really hard to fix this shit and clean myself up though


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22748816 - 01/07/16 03:23 PM (8 years, 22 days ago)

Just got kicked out of rehab for argueing and flicking a cigarette at someone(think uncle ruckus from Boondocks). was in for 21 days and now i'm 18 days sobor. no local meeting today though so ive got to wait till tomorrow. thank god theres no alcohol in the house.


Edited by Adolin (01/07/16 03:24 PM)


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22754493 - 01/08/16 09:11 PM (8 years, 21 days ago)

just got back from my first actual AA meeting(rehab was NA-centered). it was nice, alot of old folks. several of them introduced themselves after the meeting. they seem like nice people in general. the speaker was great, funny too. been clean since 71

planning to go to another one at noon tomorrow and maybe one around 6 after dinner


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #22766926 - 01/11/16 05:52 PM (8 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
How's it going Gresh?




Pretty well. still no sponsor or home group or anything though, im mainly just going to meeting and listening to get a feel for them. i just got back from a 12/12 meeting, and i was a few minutes late because i went to the wrong church. felt very awkward walking in late. they were all nice people though, i was probably the youngest there by like 15 years

Cravings are pretty minimal, but ive been eating and craving carbs alot since i got out of rehab and need to cut back on that because i'm already overweight


Quote:

JustForToday said:
Extremely super depressed right now...




Whats up JFT? anything in particular getting to you? or is it just one of those days?


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22802411 - 01/20/16 08:53 AM (8 years, 10 days ago)

31 days sobor today.

My cat passed away early this morning. Probably not a sobriety threatening thing for most people, we had her for 17 years though which is basically as far back as i can remember. She had a long happy life though and wasn't sick very long. I'm not gonna let it get to me. sure will miss her though :sad:


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: SpencerPhillips]
    #22827130 - 01/26/16 03:32 PM (8 years, 3 days ago)

Quote:

Sylus said:
Spencer (Addict/Alcoholic)

GOD could mean "Good Orderly Direction"

If you choose not to believe in God. You would still be widely accepted.





Lol. people at the local club that i go to most of my meetings at use "Group of Drunks" and say AA itself is their higher power

Quote:

You're not really sober if you're using ANY mood and mind altering substance, which I totally agree with, because all it is is another form of escape, which makes us addicts in the first place.




I think thats nonsense myself. Lots of people who are in AA also use anti-depressants or need to use seizure medication.  Plus, tobacco and caffeine are both mood/mind altering substances and huge portion of the people who go to AA use them. Then you also have alot of people who use hydroxyzine or valerian tea, etc to help them sleep

I havn't been in the program long but ive never heard anyone say that those things are unacceptable.

i would personally get pissed off if someone said i wasnt sobor because i use an anti-depressant and sleepytime tea. those arent even comparable to alcohol.

i dont use psychs anymore but it wouldnt bother me at all if someone said they used them.

Bill Wilson himself experimented with LSD in the 50s and said it could be of great use, although not a replacement for AA by any means


Edited by Adolin (01/26/16 03:34 PM)


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #22955153 - 02/28/16 01:29 PM (7 years, 10 months ago)

70 days clean today (12/21/15)

been thinking alot about using. not necessarily booze but stims. but i know if i go get some adderall or something i'll want a sedative for the comedown and i know vistaril won't cut it. kind of losing my momemtum and motivation since getting clean. ive been so bored lately. meetings are enjoyable but i just dnt feel like geting up and going today.

just going to drink some coffe and keep smoking like a chimney i guess


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Loyola10]
    #22955210 - 02/28/16 01:49 PM (7 years, 10 months ago)

yeah i have a job lined up in tech support but i'm waiting till i'm done with outpatient rehab, its 3 days a week plus they make you get your paper signed at 5 meetings

been trying to get back into gaming but i always get bored like 1/4th through the game and start a new one and then get bored of that. Its kind of why i'm missing stims, cause i know if i took some adderall i could keep myself occupied for hours.

been reading alot as well, started a new series called the chronicles of thomas covenant. its good but i only read about an hour a day cause the small text is hard on my eyes


just talked to my sponsor for a bit. Apparently he traps fish and crawfish and then lets them go cause theres too much mercury in the water :wtf: why trap them :lol: hes a cool guy though. hes into computers like myself


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #22955313 - 02/28/16 02:20 PM (7 years, 10 months ago)

.


Edited by Adolin (02/28/16 02:23 PM)


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23059979 - 03/29/16 05:21 PM (7 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

JustForToday said:

Mark with 17 years!





:kaneclap:


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OfflineAdolin
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: starsky7]
    #23126965 - 04/17/16 10:29 AM (7 years, 9 months ago)

welcome to the thread, and early congrats on 11 months!! i bet you can't wait to get that 1yr coin. i know i would be excited. i'm only coming up on 4 months myself but feel pretty great already. ive been keeping myself pretty occupied, boredom must be a big trigger for me


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23186116 - 05/03/16 07:57 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

Brian, addict-alcoholic

I feel that i had the first step down when i decided to go to inpatient. I knew i was an alcoholic even before that, and i pretty much just decided "well, fuck it" and i kept drinking even though i knew it was way out of control.

Alcohol eventually stopped giving me relief from my anxiety and existential dispair and i knew i had to find a way to stop or i would end my own life. So i called a rehab.

In rehab i was told by my councellors that, no, i hadn't taken the first step. I still think i did though. i had no problem admitting i was powerless over the booze and anything else that dulls my mind when i stepped through those doors into the noisy rehab center(they were having a christmas party that day)

I always remind myself that i'm powerless though, kind of like starting the day with an extra first step. i'm only just over 4 months sobor but sometimes i already think i could go have a few beers and be alright. first thought = wrong i guess.

anyway, thats my thought on the first step atm


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: JustForToday]
    #23652779 - 09/17/16 10:57 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I'm looking for an opinion on something guys and gals.

First off, i havnt been to an AA meeting in about 3 months. I feel perfectly fine with that though, i get sobriety help elsewhere. But i really like the AA chips.

i have the first few chips, and i'd like to get my 1 year chip when the time comes. however, i would feel like a dick showing up to a meeting after not being there for months, getting a 1Yr chip(they probably wouldnt even believe ive been sobor) and then not going back

Do you guys think it would be bad karma to buy a 1 yr chip online? I'm kind of superstitious, so i think i maybe just shouldnt get a 1 year chip at all, if i cant get it the right way.

What do you guys think? Is buying a 1 year chip, even if i have been sobor, asking for trouble? Do i even deserve one if i havn't been attending AA?


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #23797555 - 11/03/16 12:48 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I stopped going to AA months ago. It helped me a ton in the beginning but i had no reason to continue after about 6 months of it. it became a repetitive chore and just made me think more about alcohol. Booze rarely even crosses my mind anymore, i just know i cant have any ever again and leave it at that. Dont even drink/use in dreams anymore.

Good luck Ra :sun: Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk


Edited by Adolin (11/03/16 12:50 PM)


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #23797681 - 11/03/16 01:26 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

TheFakeSunRa said:
How long have you been sober?




a bit over 10 months


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: TheFakeSunRa]
    #23870442 - 11/26/16 08:43 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

TheFakeSunRa said:
How much did you drink at your heaviest?




Not sure if this is a general question for everybody or not, but at my worst it was about 3/4ths of a 5th of gin or vodka per day. That did last long though, and i basically had to switch to beer.

So about 80% of my drinking 'career' and up till the end i was drinking 15-20 Natural ICE cans a day. It was pretty much the maximum ammount i could physically drink without constantly puking (and i still puked alot, basically every day)


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23940694 - 12/19/16 03:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have a lot that i'm thankful for right now. I'm 363 days sobor, and my life has taken a 180 since i entered rehab

Before i entered rehab, i was vomiting every day, sometimes multiple times. I was drinking about 18 5.9% beers a day, and it was the most i could physically consume. Throwing up after drinking too much, or eating with a stomache full of beer was the norm for me, and it was pretty painful and was fucking up my throat. I went from vomiting 100+ times last year, to literally one single time this year

I was constantly weak and my body always ached. Just walking down stairs to grab beers exhausted me. Now i lift every day, although i probably still dont get enough cardio (working on that...)

I sat in front of the computer 24/7. Now i have other hobbies. Reading, live streaming, woodworking when its warm outside. I've also become enamored with Cigars and Pipetobacco, which isnt healthy but still better than drinking. Make my own pipes when its nice outside and i'm able to sell them for about 50$ a pop.

I also get a lot more respect from my family, and i think i have alot more respect for them as well, for some reason. They stuck through all the bullshit and never gave up on me.


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #24113845 - 02/23/17 04:06 PM (6 years, 10 months ago)

made 14 months on the 21st. Things are going great, Got a little depressed in the winter but its been sunny and warm all week and it really recharged me. Spending alot of time outside practicing with my lathe

I feel confident that at least half the reason ive been having a good time with sobriety has been all the hobbies ive picked up. Especially reading and woodworking. Read every night for a few hours, and already finished 9 books this year. Had to put woodworking on the backburner for winter but its great to get back to it

Still not going to meetings but i read Grapevine quite a bit and enjoy that. Worth the subscription


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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous (Come and share thread) [Re: Anonymous #13] * 2
    #24565737 - 08/19/17 05:42 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Coming up on 20 months sobor on Monday

Things are going well. I havnt been to an AA meeting in a long time (probably about a year) but i still read Grapevine and this thread, and browse a couple other sobriety-related forums occasionally

I've said it before and i'll say it again: Hobbies are important to me, I wouldnt be able to stay sobor if i was bored all of the time. About a year ago i started making tobacco pipes and i'm getting to the point where i always have one commissioned. Its not a great way to make money(and what i do make goes into more tools and supplies), but i love making them

Also still reading a lot, I have a goal of finishing 50 books this year and i'm ahead by 3(34 so far). Its a nightly thing and i never feel right going to sleep without at least reading a couple dozen pages

Theres very little that i miss about drinking/drugging. Every once in awhile i think a drink or toke might be nice, but the next thought is always of the damage it will likely cause because i know it will become a constant thing right away

Anyways i just wanted to pop in and let everyone know i'm alright


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