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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
I'm too fucking nice.
    #2253574 - 01/19/04 07:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

God, I'm such a pushover. I never stand up for myself. I have this one friend that will come into my room at random times and play either my guitar or keyboard and play the only two chords he knows back and forth over and over again. Normally this doesn't bother me all that much, but sometimes he'll do it when I'm already listening to music. I wish I just had the nerve to tell him "Shut the fuck up and let me listen to my Tool album!" but I can't. I've always been uncomfortable with asking for things.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibleBi0TeK
elephant man

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 3,002
Loc: Yorkshire Moors, Great Br...
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2253680 - 01/19/04 07:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

silversoul7 said:
sometimes he'll do it when I'm already listening to music. I wish I just had the nerve to tell him "Shut the fuck up and let me listen to my Tool album!" but I can't. I've always been uncomfortable with asking for things.




I know where your coming from. Try to take a more diplomatic approach and just say "Hey, do you mind! I'm trying to chill to some music here! Maybe some other time?"


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PROMOTE BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.


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Offlinesykobish
ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 17,805
Loc: Toronto, eh?
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2253883 - 01/19/04 09:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

You gotta stand up for yourself otherwise people will continue to walk all over you. They will always try to go that extra more until it's to the point they can do whatever you want and when you DO say something, they'll think you are an asshole or something. Say something now. You don't have to be mean about it.. Just let the person know that you don't feel like it right now or something along those lines.


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I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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Offlinefungulus
member

Registered: 08/17/03
Posts: 131
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2253886 - 01/19/04 09:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I did the same thing until the dude broke my guitar string cause he was gakked and playing Metallica. He was a fucker and I didn't have the balls to tell him so because I was afraid to lose a freind. But what kind of freind shits on you?

Sometimes conflict is needed in order to re-define a relationship and create necessary boundries. Deal with it and you'll feel much better. You said it yourself"Shut the fuck up and let me listen to my Tool album". Now say it out loud!


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: fungulus]
    #2254399 - 01/19/04 11:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

How dare he taint Tool with his two-chord nonsense?! Just tell him that he sucks!


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2254668 - 01/20/04 01:07 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Your too nice? Now hows that for being egotistical! jk!  :laugh: I wonder if my friend is like that. Sometimes i get angry when people arent direct with me. Its not that hard to do, but i know where you are coming from.

My friend never says when he is annoyed or anything, its like hes too polite. I try to respect his boundaries though. but i guess i dont like it when im not getting any feedback. He is too nice when it comes to some things.

I bet if i were in the same room as you, i would probably piss you off until i made you tell me to shut the fuck up! Then i would annoy you some more, then i would say i was sorry, then just be at peace.

I remember telling my friend one time. "will, stand up for yourself damnit! dont let people walk all over you"

People will come over to his house and keep him up forever and eat food and shit, i think hes learning to stand his ground though.
--------

Dave... if you read this, stfu! you know your guilty too  :eyemouth:


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What?


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2255060 - 01/20/04 05:26 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

you fucking pushover dude...

gimmie your shoes


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2255063 - 01/20/04 05:30 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

heh honestly though I see what you mean..

I've learned that when it seems like ASKING for something is difficult, I will make statements that compliment the result I'm looking for.

dude walks in and starts playing guitar right as The Grudge gets pumping, instead of trying to say "ahem umm hehe hey uhhhhhh excuse me man could you possibly hold off until after this album to play the guitar?" one could try "Man this CD is the SHIT!... I wish I could hear it over the guitar." haaa :wink:


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: Strumpling]
    #2255122 - 01/20/04 06:18 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

The Grudge has to be the best song ever.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,944
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2255273 - 01/20/04 09:17 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I used to have the same sorta problem....then I found a neat technique. Humor.

Use humor to tell them what you feel....


Use humor along with asking for something...

Humor makes everything EEEEAAASSIIEERRR. And Happier. And thus, better.

:grin:  


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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/24/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2255308 - 01/20/04 09:41 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Just tell him that he sucks. And you want to listen to your album instead.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,944
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2255373 - 01/20/04 10:21 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

However...I think Ped would say something like.....

"You must first learn to respect yourself before you can expect others to respect you."

I can tell you probably might be lacking in at least some areas of self-respect by the looks of your...room. :wink:

I'm saying this with all due respect, mind you.


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Invisiblezeta
Stranger

Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 3,972
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2256282 - 01/20/04 04:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I can't resist walking all over people like you


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: sykobish]
    #2256529 - 01/20/04 05:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

sykobish said:
You gotta stand up for yourself otherwise people will continue to walk all over you.




there could be no more truth in this statement.  you must do this or you will be walked on forever.  the trick is finding the appropriate means of telling people how you are feeling.  you can either piss people off or not while trying to get them to obey your will.  the key in not being seen as an asshole is the choice of words and tone that you use.  acting like you care about their feelings may come into play in certain cases for those people that you really do dislike  :wink:.


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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OfflineSheepish
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Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
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Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2258761 - 01/21/04 03:37 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

It's time, my friend, you grew some balls! Yes, I have the same problem, but I have come a long way from the supernice pushover. I'm still a nice guy, but these days I tend to take less shit from people (after 21 years of being alive, you tend to reach breaking point quite often). Next time someone REALLY frustrates you, don't just smile about it. Confront them, right there, RIGHT NOW. You don't have to be a dick about it, just say sternly "What are you doing? I'm trying to relax and listen to this album. If you want to play my guitar, do it in another room, or come back later." There's many ways you can phrase this, and you MAY come across as a dick sometimes, but it happens. If they're your friend, they SHOULD understand.
I remember the first time I REALLY put my put down with my friends - one of my buddies decided he would get a grope fest going in the back seat with my other best friend (a girl). I may sound like a grinch, but I find it pretty insulting when people do that in MY backseat, while I'm driving THEM home. I've made exceptions before, but this was practically dry humping. I let them have their fun, then after I dropped her home and it was just me and my friend, I said to him in the coldest voice "Don't you ever fucking pull that shit in my car again". It sure surprised him, but guess what? He never did it again :wink:
Try it - surprise yourself.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2258932 - 01/21/04 05:21 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

nah fuck that guy, if it's yours then if he's a good frined he'll respect you. if not then do what you need to do. i sued to be that way too, until I decided not too. it's really that easy. be an ass sometimes doesn't hurt.

then again he may not even be considering you or think that everythings cool since they do it all the time, what would make this one time different? you know what I mean?


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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OfflineHBS
Male

Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: silversoul7]
    #2259956 - 01/21/04 03:37 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

i used to be the epitome of a push-over guy, i was definitely WAY too nice a person --

one day i started getting fed up with people taking advantage of me and/or taking out their upsets on me because i used to just take it and be quiet ... so i started standing up for myself, lightly, not being brash or doing anything i would regret ...

but just from suddenly speaking up for myself and not putting up with BS, everybody was taken aback and some people were just like 'i dont know why youve changed but you have, and i dont like it'

all it means is that i wont put up with shit anymore

if i was in your situation, i think the wrong thing to do is be an asshole and say 'shut the fuck up' ... just be calm and say 'id appreciate it if you could play later because right now im listening to music'

not being walked on doesnt mean suddenly turning into a prick (no offense, of course, you know i like you ... but if somebody said something as harsh as shut the fuck up to me id sure let them know that i was pissed as fuck)


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Offlinedaba
Stranger
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Registered: 12/30/02
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Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: HB]
    #2260122 - 01/21/04 04:37 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

HB: Shut the fuck up :grin:


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Fold for The Shroomery!


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2261305 - 01/21/04 11:43 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

SkorpivoMusterion said:

Use humor to tell them what you feel....

:grin:    




"Kidding on the square!"  Al Franken wrote that if his last book did two things, he'd want it to get Bush out of the White House and get "Kidding on the Square" into the American lexicon.  It's a funny term referring to kidding around and telling the truth at the same time.  That's how he described his confrontation with Paul Wolfowitz, in which he told Paul "So, Clinton's military did great in Iraq, didn't they?" and Paul looked at him for two seconds and then said "Fuck you."


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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OfflineInjectTruth
Wasting my Time,Waiting for theEnd
Male

Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 778
Loc: New Jerusalem
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: I'm too fucking nice. [Re: sykobish]
    #2263708 - 01/22/04 09:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I dont understand why people who are nice should change, I feel people who are inconsiderate should learn to change. If Im in MY room, with MY music, and MY guitar, what makes YOU think YOU can be involved. Why should I have to waste energy to correct your problem? It reminds me of Siddarthas incarnation previous to that of the Buddha. A holy man, meditating deep in the forest, is come upon by a horse riding warrior. The warrior attempts to get the meditators attention, but fails, as his concentration was deep. The warrior began shouting, and soon after, hitting the practioner. He was not jostled. The warrior was so confounded by the ascetics unwavering focus, that he began cutting his ears, nose, and limbs off. Needless to say, Siddartha died. He was rewarded by coming back as The Buddha. But the warrior, never figured out why the meditator wouldnt defend himself.


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On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an
individual casts off outmoded and restricting standars of
thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express
CREATIVELY his relationship to his immediate environment and
the social structure as a whole.

http://www.OrganicPharming.com - Ethno Shopping Portal


Edited by InjectTruth (01/22/04 09:14 PM)


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