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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Bipolar experiences?
#22506932 - 11/10/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've recently started seeing a psychologist again and have been told I'm most likely bipolar 2. Getting referred to a psychiatrist for an actual diagnosis but it's unlikely to be any different.
I was earlier told I might have a lesser form of BPD which is QBD but that didn't explain my overall mood swinging behaviors.
I have long depressive episodes with sporadic hypo-mania in between where I feel normal for a while, the thing is that being hypo isn't supposed to be normal. I'm either hypo-manic or depressed but rarely in the sanity of the norm.
If anyone else has experiences with bipolar I would love to hear it because I don't really know what to do or think. I'm getting therapy but it doesn't start till after the psychiatrist in several weeks.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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HardTrippin
The Ambivalent



Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 1,303
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22507015 - 11/10/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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My mother is bipolar. She was VERY delusional too. She is on medication now so she's good. I would take what the doctors prescribe, and see if you can ween off the anti-psychotics (if there are any that you have to take). Just ask your doctor about that. There are varying levels of manic depression so I don't know how bad yours might be or if you even need much more than mood stabilizers. Just sit tight for now. No point in worrying too much about it. I would get more than one opinion though for sure.
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"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Oceanshore23Forest
Salviaatoorr



Registered: 01/28/14
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i was diagnosed with schizoaffectvie disorder which schizophrenia with bipolar disorder but ive recently completed my cosntant suicidal state with medecine and am no longer depressed so its just mania and schizophrenia, plus insomnia
-------------------- Jenny, jehny, sean, taliesen, taylor I was the Head honcho And...... i still am Jonas is everready matthew is a psychiatrist Marcus is a therapist Arthur has Appeared ..... https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1Gz8gmpPZTDdbWY7sNa3D5PGER3mxvp2 The drugs i use: Day: Clozaril 400mg, Zyprexa, 15mg, Seroquel 20mg, Risperdal 6mg, Invega 9mg The all in One Curved Rounded Pillar, Klonopin 1mg, Truvada The now mushroomm, Tivicay the Daydreams mushroom, Gabapentin 600mg Night: Lithium 300mg, Ativan 3mg, 5Htp, Trazodone 100mg, Hydroxyzine 2 at sleep time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWWopjG9URo&nohtml5=False
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Toadstool5
A Registered Mycophile



Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 1,359
Loc: The Golden State
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22507104 - 11/10/15 09:06 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Type 2 here too. Never full mania only hypomania in the evenings when the sun goes down or occasionally during the day.
In a nut shell and IME...
Psychiatric meds are dangerous and crude, suicide is definitely a risk, drug usage can be dangerously heavy, psychotherapy works good for depression and CBD or exercise help with hypomania.
Not all BP is serious and life threatening but it can be. If you are ever holding the gun or noose and can't take it any more, voluntarily place yourself under observation at a mental health institute. This honestly saved me twice from shooting myself 
It's not really too bad of a disorder once you find your routine and coping mechanisms. For me thats smoking CBD dominant cannabis when i'm manic, talking to friends or doctors when suicidal, and avoiding violence at all costs. It's pretty easy to become violent when you are depressed or super energetic.
-------------------- If you do not know where the mushroom products you are consuming are grown, think twice before eating them. - Paul Stamets AMU Teks Stro's Write Ups
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: Toadstool5]
#22507810 - 11/11/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Not interested in any meds except microdosing psilocybin.
The more I talked about it the more my life made sense and my decision making was a little clearer. I've always had a fear of knives because I have the feeling of wanting to stab things when I have one. I'm not suicidal and have never been in a fight so the thoughts always frightened me.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22507873 - 11/11/15 02:26 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I was diagnosed with it when I was a lot younger (probably around 12 or 13) and I never doubted the diagnosis was correct. In the past I sort of had 2 personalities and they just switched randomly for no reason at all. One was stable and even happy, and in a split second I would become very erratic and even start to seem a little delusional. I really don't feel like breaking it all down, so I'll just leave it at that.
Anyways, meds never helped me, nor did talking to a psychiatrist. I just sort of grew out of it over time and normalized to some point in between those extremes. Didn't happen for a very long time, well over 10 years from the diagnosis (and diagnosis itself is not the start of it all). I still suffer from it to some extent, but is no where near as bad or common.
I don't really have any helpful input on it.. I just got lucky I think. There are many people who live with this their entire lives and in direct contrast to me, only get worse as time goes by.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: Shroomslip]
#22507879 - 11/11/15 02:33 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think just being aware of it is helpful, I've felt the same with having 2 personalities, one being hypomanic the other rather depressed. I've felt like this for several years if not a decade.
I had 6 months of normality on shrooms, most people weren't able to handle or enjoy them as much as I did and maybe the bipolar explains that too.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22507901 - 11/11/15 02:51 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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It doesn't. Shrooms are bad for me more or less. I generally do not handle them well. I stopped all together awhile back because I just gave up. I'll get 1 good trip and it'll be followed by numerous bad ones no matter how I prepare. Your ability to handle shrooms is almost definitely related to something else. I don't have problems with any drug, just shrooms. Even other psychedelics I can handle just fine.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: Shroomslip]
#22507914 - 11/11/15 03:06 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I did 4 months of heroic dosing to trip but then 2 months of microdosing as medication for my mood swings.
I could handle the heroic doses because my moods were already erratic well before the shrooms. Microdosing actually stabilised my mood and I felt fine, normal on those days. 0.3-0.8g dry psilocybin cubensis.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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abltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut




Registered: 06/16/09
Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22507931 - 11/11/15 03:28 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Everyone's bipolar because guess what, everyone goes through ups and downs. I've met plenty of people with "bipolar disorder" and they were just neurotic, self-fulfilling, self-confirming behaviors brought on by some doctor that wants the repeat business. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was younger but I realized how full of shit that diagnosis was for me and for like 99.9% of everyone else ever diagnosed with it. It's just not that common of a disorder to have, but it's very commonly diagnosed. Bullshit.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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Everyone has ups and downs, not everyone flips from one to the other instantly and with no provocation.
I don't really disagree with you, conditions are greatly over-diagnosed, but .01% being diagnosed correctly? There's no way that is true.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Have you ever been completely happy then had a leaf brush your eyebrow only to fall to your knees and burst into tears for no apparent reason? If something similar happens once it's probably nothing, If similarly intense mood swings are the norm, that's not normal.
As a humble opinion, you seem to have a lot of internalised anger from the way you write, you may have symptoms of BPD/QBD with troubles expressing your emotions. BPD is the opposite spectrum of bipolar and it'd make sense that you could have developed it if you were diagnosed as bipolar when younger.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
Edited by sudly (11/11/15 03:41 AM)
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refried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22508035 - 11/11/15 05:46 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I have bpd and bipolar disorder and add. Life is hard. It's about 100x harder because you appear healthy and nobody knows how hard it is for you to live with yourself or tolerate even the slightest injuries or perceived slights. Basically it's like being severely disabled except you get none of the breaks that somebody in a wheel chair is afforded. I'm mostly very depressive, often for months at a time.
Medication helps me a great deal and I don't believe it's possible for me to function without it. I have been on meds for nearly a decade and with regular therapy my life is manageable. I wouldn't go trying to fix yourself with microdosing shrooms. Finding the right meds is a terrible process and can take years but that's what you have to do.
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Toadstool5
A Registered Mycophile



Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 1,359
Loc: The Golden State
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Quote:
Everyone's bipolar because guess what, everyone goes through ups and downs
I don't think you quite understand bipolar disorder. Everyone does experience ups and downs but bipolar disorder is more akin to energy and no energy. You can be hypomanic and suicidal or depressive and happy. I have been very calm and unemotional when hypomanic or depressed too 
I do agree with you somewhat, we all have ups and downs and it is WAY overdiagnosed. Probably because they benefit from more patients and pharm sales.
I don't think it should be labeled as a mood disorder because emotions are not a disorder. However it should be recognized as an excitatory/inhibitory disorder of the brain.
Shrooms have helped me before but thc has potentiated hypomania significantly. With shrooms i hardly take 3.5 any more and normally take 0.75 to 1.8g without ill effects. I would avoid stimulants and depressants and tread carefully with psychedelics and disassociatives.
With meds i tried several anti convulsants like lamictal, ssri's, dopamine reuptake inhibitors, and mood stabilizers. They didnt work for me and had bad side effects but for some people they are a life saver
-------------------- If you do not know where the mushroom products you are consuming are grown, think twice before eating them. - Paul Stamets AMU Teks Stro's Write Ups
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MushyMatt
LSD-25



Registered: 10/13/11
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: Toadstool5]
#22509878 - 11/11/15 03:33 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm diagnosed bipolar 1, if you have any questions about it or need to talk during low cycles I'll be happy to answer or talk. 
Bipolar is a disorder I wish upon no one..
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Reborn - 6/08/13
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22509958 - 11/11/15 03:51 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: Not interested in any meds except microdosing psilocybin.
Are you in an area in which you can pick cyans, azzies, or pan foen? Especially foen (even though it isn't active in the classical sense).
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: sudly]
#22509972 - 11/11/15 03:54 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: Have you ever been completely happy then had a leaf brush your eyebrow only to fall to your knees and burst into tears for no apparent reason?
I'd say once a month, but now that I'm healing from being on pain medicine, I've noticed that post acute withdrawal syndrome severely exacerbates it, or both happen in tandem.
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refried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: Toadstool5] 2
#22509985 - 11/11/15 03:57 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Try Lamictal with Abilify as a combo. Lamictal alone provided me some relief for depression but when I got on abilify the combo was life changing. Biggest thing is racing thoughts subsided and I could actually sleep halfway decent for the first time in my life.
btw, to the moron above, nobody in their right mind would wish this condition upon themselves or anyone they loved or cared about. Sadly, your mindset is what makes mental illness stigmatized to this day and fuck you and your "ups and downs" get the fuck out of the thread because you clearly are misinformed and your little anecdote doesn't say shit so you contribute nothing. think before you post. 
also, it's actually true that many more people are bipolar than are diagnosed. there's such a societal stigma that people would rather have any other thing wrong with them than to mention they have bipolar or any other mental illness. if you have mental illness many doors are shut to you in life and you must suffer in silence, thus many do not seek treatment. The ones you hear about who seek treatment are at least brave enough to do so and hopefully can find some measure of peace in their lives. Those that do not simply drink themselves to death or gamble, or whatever else even committing suicide. But drinking at the bar every day to self-medicate is percieved as ok as long as you are not labeled mentally ill. /rant
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: refried] 1
#22510008 - 11/11/15 04:01 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
refried said: also, it's actually true that many more people are bipolar than are diagnosed. there's such a societal stigma that people would rather have any other thing wrong with them than to mention they have bipolar or any other mental illness. if you have mental illness many doors are shut to you in life and you must suffer in silence, thus many do not seek treatment. The ones you hear about who seek treatment are at least brave enough to do so and hopefully can find some measure of peace in their lives. Those that do not simply drink themselves to death or gamble, or whatever else even committing suicide. But drinking at the bar every day to self-medicate is percieved as ok as long as you are not labeled mentally ill. /rant
Yep. It's funny though; someone born with a bad heart never gets shit for it. Someone's born with some misfiring in their brain and, at times, treated like shit over it. No one asked to be bipolar. I'm sure none of you wanted this. It's a heavy cross to bear, but it feels good knowing you're not alone. That was the worst of it for me and I think it took 4 years to get properly diagnosed.
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Toadstool5
A Registered Mycophile



Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 1,359
Loc: The Golden State
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Re: Bipolar experiences? [Re: refried]
#22510080 - 11/11/15 04:18 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
also, it's actually true that many more people are bipolar than are diagnosed. there's such a societal stigma that people would rather have any other thing wrong with them than to mention they have bipolar or any other mental illness.
Really? I wonder how many people are actually bipolar
I shouldn't be so surprised though, many people would rather have a brain tumor instead of a mental issue. It's really sad how people view mental health.
-------------------- If you do not know where the mushroom products you are consuming are grown, think twice before eating them. - Paul Stamets AMU Teks Stro's Write Ups
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