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 LosAndreas36
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 Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ? 
#22505696 - 11/10/15 03:45 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hello people. I'm from Russia, yeah i know english, but not perfect, but i hope you can understand and help me  okay, i tried some kind of psychedelic drug in january 2014. Dosage was 30 mg, white powder. Trip was nice but after i felt headache (often after effect of that drug). It was 2c i think or something, with beatiful visuals but not very deep. Then i started to experience some strange things. It was looking like my IQ droped down. I was slow, really easy stared at 1 point in front my eyes, it was really difficul to turn my sight away (like indica stone, you know). it was like in foggy dream i guess, i think it was derealization. subjectivly it was hard to concentrate and think. also when i was "stoned" (it really pissed me off because it's easy to get stone, even in toilet, or at traffic light. some visual noice, floaters, and shit was noticable, but i'll tell more about this later. but those symptoms gone, idk how and when. then i did some cubensis, but cake was moldy, and i thought my kidneys problem was about eating shrooms from moldy cake, but before cubensis i was in car accident, and i think that was kidney problem, but motuh ago i was in hospital for week, my kidneys are good so, i ate them, it was best trip in my life. i alwasy reministing about it, and i want almost to cry. then i ate them 3 times more (last time in june). in july, i tried euphoric stimulant, after that was few days very heavy hangover,(slowness, i guess even derealization, i was tired because no sleep, and even after sleep i was feeling like i was in hell and came back) i thought i did damage to my brain. but it was gone i guess, can't really remember. then i did shroms again (beggining of August), cake was moldy too ( it must be without any contamination, but in wild shrooms are growing with mold and other shrooms, so they are no sterile, i think that is not problem) trip was difficult, bad one, but after i felt myself good or neutral (can't really remember my feelings after trip)..then, in few weeks, smoothly started feel weird. some stone feelings, some slowness. after that i smoked marijuana, like 10 or more times in september, marijuana coming down and hangover was really weird, also very strange thoughts while high, like i'm fucking mental patient..then i did weed again (in middle october) with 17 cubensis shrooms, i did not remember alot, but it was not bad trip (even euphoric bcz of weed i guess) with hangover and headache next day (some experience hangover even from weed, like me in last mouths, and with shrooms it's not very surprising...)..so i'll tell what i feel now
1. slowness (but now not. after some coffeine i feel better and even can dance, but mind still slow or weird, like in smoke you know), slowed thinking (subjectivly)
2. feel myself like brain damaged or oligophrenic, while can speak even on philosophical themes, even not in my main language,(sorry guys, my english not ideal, i think i can practise with you guys)
3. visual things like floaters, some visual noice, afterimages when look at sky (sky seems bright, sometimes very), light, or even on just things, or when coming in dark room. also very strange feeling when i look on geometric things like exercise book (square sheet), a regular square tiles, sometimes wallpaper looks strange (wallpapers i think because of snow) , or even my jacket, sleeve on pereferic sight it can flash or look weird, i can't explain it, it can move or just look weird. i think some traces but not very heavy. almost everything, except afterimages and noice is when i'm stoned (look down what i mean by stoned)
when i look at the some pages (websites with wavy structure or even if not wavy), and turn my eyes away, i can see wavy or fluted shit in few seconds, like 5 or about so. it's afterimage? if yes, i experience it often. it's like you watch the sun, and you can spot after it,. when i look at words, i notice them like they outlined or with halo, can't say if its visual noice or something else. blue field entopic, but i think it's normal.
just tried to stare at wallpaper for few seconds, noice, and it's very strange, few of the pieces of wallpaper changes, it's maybe because of light, not everywhere i can see that. i think i experienced something like this while trippin shhroms
4. in centre of sight some little sparks sometimes, it's hard to notice, or that because of visual snow idk they are pretty same
5.memory is bad, can forget words or things, but i heard derealization may be reason
6. main, (with mind slow and bad memory, and staring in point in front of my eyes, like indica stone,) the derealization (or maybe it's not). world seems distant, mind is foggy, really foggy, everything is not like it have to be. like i'm under hood, not just visual perception is distant , mind is foggy and distant too. year ago i experienced shit like that, ( i even came to psychiatrist) and i was also experiencing feeling of no thought, "empty head"
7. sometimes hard to speak, idk why, voice seems weird, i can say shit inapposite, or say something without any reasons, so i'm very inapposite. sometimes forget words. (probably depersonalization? voice seems weird )
8. hypochondria and paranoia, i think i'm brain damaged, oligophrenic, schizophrenia, and other mental disorders. people often say something against me, or wanted to call cops and shit (even if they are not, i think they are going to do bad things, or watch out for cars, even sometimes watch for cops. no hallucination just suspicion and mistrust. (there is reasons for worry, but not so paranoid)
9.after run (i started running, thought that this will help me) i felt myself really worse, stoned as fuck and fogged. it's getting worse after physical exercise. also i think i'm feeling myself better tonight than after waking up.
10. when stoned, and my eyes stare at 1 point, then can unfocus and it's really hard sometimes to move my body (even when my eyes stoned i can type, that what i'm doing now, sometimes hard to move in another pose, while can speak and do something, so body and sight are "nailed". also strange feeling in body (like i'm becoming stone, excatly stone, or froze)
11. some headaches but it's maybe bcz of smart drugs, they are dilates blood vessels so not sure.
i'm sleeping from 5 to 7 hours, sometimes 8, somewhen 8-12, or more and i still feel myself foggy and slow.
so it's not always easy to speak with other people, hard to concentrate bcz when i relax even on 1 second i start to stone. people just can notice i'm abit slow and that's all, if i don't tell them they probably will not notice my troubles, so i think maybe it's ALL subjectivly and i'm not brain damaged? even no IQ lose? hppd isn't brain damage, i want to know is this is hppd or i burn my brains bcz of drugs ? not heavy use
it may looks like brain damage but i think the foggy mind, memory, and distant and strange perception it's worst, visual things not getting me sick. i think it's DP and DR, not encephalopathy. i did review of my head blood vessels is okay, some little troubles with venous drainage in one side, but it's not bad. i did smart drugs, lots of them, they maybe even helped me, but my mind and perception are still foggy and distant. i have seen neurologogist, i think i visited 3 or even more. they said, vasoneurosis, astenia, hypochondria (3 different diagnosis from 3 doctors), said sleep more get rest and shit, but it started in summer, i was sleeping alot when it started, so idk. sometimes it was even hard to read a book, but now i think i'm able to read.
p.s sorry for my english, i want to go sleep now, and you know that i think i'm very stupid after that starts,,,so sorry.please tell me can be this HPPD ? in my opinion, i want it to be DP DR not braindamage
p.s2 no depression when i think it's hppd and it will gone, when i think i will live with that, i feel myself bad. but still good mood at all, i try to keep it
p.s3 The visual problems of HPPD can occur along with other mental ailments. Of these, the most prominent are anxiety, panic attacks, depersonalization disorder, and depression.
p.s4 i really hope that is HPPD, because then i will not really worry about it. also i don't use drugs anymore. even weed. weed relax body but mind become paranoid as hell.
if you can say something, please, help me, because doctors are don't know what is HPPD and they will put in me in a psychiatric hospital or drug treatment clinic, although I have no dependencies and I can exist in a society, even with foggy perception.
Edited by LosAndreas36 (11/10/15 03:47 PM)
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LosAndreas36
Wheel of Time
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Re: Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ?Hello people. I'm from Russia, yeah i know english, but not perfect, but i ho [Re: LosAndreas36]
#22505715 - 11/10/15 03:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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i was eating few shrooms once, once 6 shrooms, and other trips was with 13-17 cubes, so it was heavy, really
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LosAndreas36
Wheel of Time
Registered: 04/05/15
Posts: 414
Loc: Another dimension
Last seen: 3 years, 26 days
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Re: Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ?Hello people. I'm from Russia, yeah i know english, but not perfect, but i ho [Re: LosAndreas36]
#22505734 - 11/10/15 03:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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yeah, also when i'm "stoned" i can feel some sort of vibration, also i'm VERY sensitive to din and light
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LosAndreas36
Wheel of Time
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Re: Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ?Hello people. I'm from Russia, yeah i know english, but not perfect, but i ho [Re: LosAndreas36]
#22508101 - 11/11/15 06:38 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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okay, one thing i want to tell, i feel myself better tonight, not morning...when i wake up i feel like i'm back to life after death, coming back to this world, like when i was sleeping i was in nice warm grave, when i wake up, i come back to life, i feel myself like zombie...so much fog and slowness...
i think the cure is heatly lifestyle, last trip was mouth ago, so i stop using any drugs. i use piracetam and Pyritinolum, also Acidum aminophenylbutyricum, (fenibut, our russian smart drug, not bad also even recreational )
or this can be mycotoxicosis after dealing with moldy cakes? breathing probably too..my lungs kinda ok, some cough but not very much
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 micro
bunbun has a gungun
Registered: 05/09/03
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Quote:
LosAndreas36 said:
Trip was nice but after i felt headache (often after effect of that drug).
It's a vasoconstrictor. When you were off it, you felt the change in your vascular system and it gave you a headache.
For the rest of post, it sounds like you were tripping, had an intense experience and then had flashbacks, which are more common after smoking weed or in some other altered state.
I wouldn't think mycotoxicosis given the time frame and you wouldn't get that from moldy cakes anyway unless you were eating them, along with the unknown mold, which happened to contain some mycotoxin. Your lungs wouldn't be affected unless it's either simple allergies or you are immunocompromised and that wouldn't be mycotoxicosis but rather an infection. I wouldn't call it HPPD since it isn't permanent from the way it sounds and unless it is significantly affecting your work or school, or home life it wouldn't be classified as such, anyway. Also, the fact that it gets worse when you are stoned supports this as well. From what I have read the only thing I can pull out of it is a probable case of hypochondriasis :V
Then again, time will tell. Yes, you should take a substance break and live a healthy lifestyle or at least make *some* kind of change. It will at least get you to stop thinking about this anyway.
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Konyap
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Re: Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ? [Re: micro]
#22516504 - 11/13/15 12:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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you shouldn't feel any different from shooms once the trip is over
i've been in similar situations, hppd goes away after a time
i think it's the smart drugs honestly, you should be getting your brain vitamins from fish or flax seed oil instead
and even then it's just for 'health'
shrooms probably make you better at memorization and they stimulate neurogenesis, but if you aren't learning anything you're probably just being over sensitive
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micro
bunbun has a gungun
Registered: 05/09/03
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Re: Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ? [Re: Konyap]
#22516554 - 11/13/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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it's not hppd
it's not from phenibut
most of it can be explained as either
a) normal optical illusions; try staring at one spot for a long time and you'll see what I mean
the brain has a way of "filtering out noise" which it does for a reason
if you see the same thing or hear the same thing constantly it will look or sound strange eventually
b) problems i.e. scratches on the cornea that weren't noticed previously
c) floaters
d) blood cells
e) bright light
f) hypochondriasis, stated in the op and rather obvious from the hospital visit
g) really good weed
i could wager it is all of these things combines and several i'm not thinking of
just not hppd, mycotoxins or phenibut
also hppd doesn't just "go away"
if it does it wasn't hppd
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LosAndreas36
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Re: Mycotoxicosis or HPPD ? [Re: micro]
#22532785 - 11/16/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Weed was good, but it started before i started to smoke it (like 10-15 times in september, and 1-2 time at year before september, it started in august-september, week or 2 ago i started to smoke). Yeah, it may be optical illusions, now i think so too...but fuck my fog, and derealizaton, when i think that i'm going to live in this smoke i just don't want to live. maybe i should trip some? just want to make with no contam, bcz if i think that it's because from cake it very bad. also i feel it 24\7, just sometimes it's abit better (i guess) sometimes (after hard working, or physical exercise) getting worse...idk what to do, going to see psychiatrist,
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LosAndreas36
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Guys, it's not getting better. my eyes stare at one point, and sight..i dont know how to explain, it's shifts...or this is blind spot, idk. it's like probably like two thousand yard stare, unfocused. also brain fog and everything i wrote above it's still present
memory is freaking bad...taking smart drugs are not help
guys, it's can be mycotoxicosis ?
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LosAndreas36
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http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/3454667
brain fog, short memory problems, it's all mine...
don't know what to do, don't want to live with it
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LosAndreas36
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Guys it's still on, i feel myself like in fog. can't think and remember thing very well. it's getting worse. only thing i'm sure in, it's not HPPD, it's brain damage probably? really trapped
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Mr.GuessWork
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You definitely sound panicked. Vasoneurosis is an interesting idea. I have no idea if that's what's causing you trouble, but it's an interesting idea to think about. Probably the best thing you can do is to be patient.
I don't know what to tell you, but if you search HPPD on this website, you'll find some other threads where people describe similar problems. I agree with the suggestions to stop all drug use for the time being. I think another guy on here complained of similar problems for somewhere around a year, and I'm not sure if he's back to normal now. I think he was using one of those 2C family drugs too.
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LosAndreas36
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Hello pal! Thanks for answer. I don't know. I ate shrooms 7 times, weed around 50-60 times (smoked weed 17 times in january, it was heavy enough, so i stop it for a while.) I used speed, or it was bath salts, i'm not sure mate, but i think that was harmful... i can't change my past, i have to do something now. If it's serious organic brain problems, will i recover? Again, thanks for visiting my topic. I'll try to search something. Also i want to note, i felt "foggy" few times in my life, after usuing psychedelic (i think it was 2c family, 30 mg dosage, white powder, trip looks like 2c-t2), so that was some fog after trip, but not very long it last. Before that trip i felt something like that once, i took tricyclic antidepressants... So that' it. Now it last all the time, no clear days and shit.
maybe that's mycotoxicosis, because i took shrooms that was probably moldy, not shrooms but cakes, but RR said that's it's okay, if you dry them and eat. Dunno really.
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Mr.GuessWork
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I doubt you got mycotoxicosis from eating moldy shrooms. I doubt that's enough exposure to cause a problem for this long.
Did your doctors do any blood work? Did you have a high or low white blood cell count? I expect to see an abnormal WBC count if you had mycotoxicosis. I'd take a break from drugs for a while and see what happens. Take a vacation or something if you can. If it doesn't go away, then go back to the doctor, and focus on symptoms like the brain fog. I'd suggest not mentioning the visual distortions too much and not mentioning the drug use too much. Something else might be wrong with you too. Lots of stuff can cause symptoms like brain fog.
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LosAndreas36
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Thank you for answer! I did, now i sometimes use MJ. Nothing works mate, vitamins, smart drugs, nothing! doctors don't know what is it. I did MRI , it's okay. I don't give a sh*t about my visual stuff, it's not very annoying, i don't even notice it anymore. but brain fog, and i feel myself like i'm out of this moment in time. that i'm not okay and not sober
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LosAndreas36
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Hi to all. almost nothing changes, now its like 8 months since this shit started. What to do :? I tried smart drugs, tried everything, i start to live with it, its not that bad anymore, i mean This fog and stupor still present anyway. My memory is really bad, can't remember anything.
I have a thought, once after my shroom trip i felt myself that i'm insane, because i was unable to think correctly, my mind was really slow and stupid, i was unable to understand connections between things etc. It was terrible HOUR or so after visuals came down, but i was still affected by shrooms. trip was difficult though. Then i felt myself okay, after effectes wore off. It was 16 may 2015, like a 3 mouth before my fog appeared.
i did enough good dose, i think, because it was intense
doctors can't say anything, then think i'm anxiety or something, okay, maybe, but what about memory? my eyeballs easily stare at 1 point ahead of me, then can unfocus, if i stare at 1 point. also i have something like..emm, idk how to explain, what i watch, its like i watch only with my eye, not both eyes, but its just a feeling, i do watch both eyes anyway. so i "correct" my sight, by focusing again. imo i think its just because of unfocusing, like my sight glue to one thing, really hard to explain...
i tried mimosa hostlis plus harmala once, it wasn't bad at all, not very intense, maybe 1-2 lvl of experience. and smoked weed, a lot of weed. i ran out of it, so i dont smoke it for week, maybe two. nothing changes. as i said before, when this fog started, i wasn't smoking weed
i want to trip shrooms, tried to grow them like 3 times, and always contams or so, i use PC, UV, sterile teks...idk...
maybe i'm just braindead? i do study, hanging around, etc, watching movies, reading books, living a live like before, but i dont feel my life is very good since that.
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LosAndreas36
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i'm sure its not HPPD, maybe this is brain damage, or mycotoxicosis. but i think its brain damage, since my memory went very bad.
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LosAndreas36
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is that real to recover from brain damage ? if cause was a RC (tried 3 times in my life, first one i think it was 2c or something, 30 mg powder dosage. second time nbome i guess, small dosage, and a-pvp last time, i think a-pvp caused a brain damage)
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LosAndreas36
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last thing i want to notice... i do enjoy life anyway, i want to live, after all my experience i felt love to life, to people, nature, etc, a lot of insights. i will live even in case i will never recover from it. i had a thought about suicide, in my first hard trip, i thought suicide is only way out of trip. but after all it was really awesome..amazing experience, that affected my life in root, and i'm happy because of that
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Mr.GuessWork
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If you can't fix a problem, then the next best thing you can do is learn to live with it. That may be your best option at this point. It sounds like nobody really has much of a clue as to what's going on with you. If the problem is reasonably stable, then I'd start to learn to live with it to the best of your ability.
People don't usually fully recover from permanent brain damage, and I'm still not sure that's what happened with you, though it may be the case. However, people do often learn to live with serious brain damage, and people can sometimes recover some of what they've lost. I suggest you find a good neurologist and tell him about the drugs you took, the onset of your symptoms, and the changes in your memory and such. Tell him you think you might have suffered some brain damage and ask if there's any way to evaluate that possibility. An MRI can only tell doctors so much. It only images structure in the brain, and it's resolution is limited. You could have some kind of damage that can't be seen in an MRI (a good neurolgist will understand this). An fMRI might give some better data, but as far as I know fMRI machines are more or less only used for research purposes and you're going to have a hell of a time getting access to one, even if you can find a doctor with the creativity to take you seriously.
You also do sound a bit anxious for what it's worth.
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