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tangoking
Lover of Boletes



Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 952
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Last seen: 8 months, 17 days
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Romance 101
#22499723 - 11/09/15 10:09 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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So, I'm trying to figure out how to be "romantic." It seems to be pretty important to women.
In the movies (porn aside), I see some concepts of romance: candy, flowers, singing... stuff like that.
How can I be more romantic? Do I need to buy stuff?
@women: what's the most romantic thing that a guy has ever done for you?
Edited by tangoking (11/09/15 10:09 AM)
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Big Worm
Perf


Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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My ex was at my house one morning when we first got back together.
While she was sleeping I went to a flower shop and got a bunch of flowers and placed these colorful flowers all over her dashboard, steering wheel and seats of her car. I had to leave for work so I didn't see her reaction.
But she loved it.
Even sent pictures to her friends to subconsciously brag about how good of a man she had.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Your user name is tangoking. That sounds like a good start. The tango is insanely romantic (sadly,I'm not a dancer )
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Romance 101 [Re: koraks] 2
#22500130 - 11/09/15 12:00 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm a woman. The least romantic thing anyone has ever done for me was try to win my approval by buying me shit. How fucking shallow.
The most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me really is just centered around getting to know each other, usually with an adventure of some sort. (Going somewhere fun, hiking, dancing is a huuuuuuge turn on.) If I could recommend cultivating any one skill, it would be dancing. Hands down. Biggest lady boner. Umf.
But you mention porn in your post. So you need to evaluate what you WANT from women. Are you just interested in sex? If so, are you looking for ways to feign romance to convince women to fuck you? If so, dick move. There's ways to get that without entangling women's emotions. Women like to fuck casually too. But if you're looking for building a connection with people, then work on being romantic. It really is all about tailoring it to the individual, because if you use some cut and paste formula for every girl they will know and it won't work.
Edited by Anonymous (11/09/15 12:02 PM)
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tangoking
Lover of Boletes



Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 952
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Last seen: 8 months, 17 days
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I'm a woman. The least romantic thing anyone has ever done for me was try to win my approval by buying me shit. How fucking shallow.
The most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me really is just centered around getting to know each other, usually with an adventure of some sort. (Going somewhere fun, hiking, dancing is a huuuuuuge turn on.) If I could recommend cultivating any one skill, it would be dancing. Hands down. Biggest lady boner. Umf.
But you mention porn in your post. So you need to evaluate what you WANT from women. Are you just interested in sex? If so, are you looking for ways to feign romance to convince women to fuck you? If so, dick move. There's ways to get that without entangling women's emotions. Women like to fuck casually too. But if you're looking for building a connection with people, then work on being romantic. It really is all about tailoring it to the individual, because if you use some cut and paste formula for every girl they will know and it won't work.
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Anonymous #2
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I agree with the buying stuff.
Romance to me isn't the cliche flowers, chocolates, go to the movies or Wining and dining - although its sweet and a lot of girls like this. I find it can be a false expection.
I guess when you mature the romance isnt about that, to me its being able to just enjoy each others company. Spontaneous adventures are alway a winner! I enjoy being able to lay together and talk about whatever.
I love it when my man makes me feel special and sexy. Sometimes actions speak louder then words (i dont mean just sex either) its the touch, kiss.
In saying all this my hubby is not the typical romantic guy. And when we were first together, this would bother me a bit. But I have found many things that my hubby does for me that i find extremely romantic.
What do you think you have to offer?
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Depends. I buy tickets for us to do things. I surprise her with a bottle of wine after work. If she loses something she loved I surprise her with a new one. Those are purchases but it's not like buying her a gaudy diamond necklace she will never wear. It's the thought behind it.
Like previous people said, girls love when you plan to go do things. Plan a quick getaway. Take a class together. It's so easy man just listen to her and find out what she likes to do that you like. Be the leader.
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LackToast
Stranger
Registered: 08/28/10
Posts: 217
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listen to ano 1 she seems to want the best for you. except for the last part about wanting to bone ladies being a bad thing. she doesnt speak for anyone but herself... feigning romance to pump and dump hoes is part of the game, bitches know that already dont let them tell you otherwise.
also
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acidxprincess



Registered: 01/07/11
Posts: 1,884
Loc: Isla Sorna
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buy food, chocolate. have a few drinks together on the pouch on a nice night, put some music on and dance with her. walks are nice. just be lovey.
-------------------- "what do you call Discovery? I call it rape of the natural world."
"In the end the choice is all yours."
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
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Quote:
acidxprincess said: buy food, chocolate. have a few drinks together on the pouch on a nice night, put some music on and dance with her. walks are nice. just be lovey.
Also look like this

Most importantly, look like this
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,993
Loc: so many roads
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Reconsider basing your life around the movies, they lack reality.
Demonstrate some empathy and think of what kind of action would sweep YOU off your feet. IMO the most romantic gestures come from the soul and are well thought out. Make it personal and relevant, don't be someone you're not.
What does she like the most? Scents, colors, food...
If all else fails draw a bubble bath with some great smelling ylang ylang or lavender bath salts/essential oils. Light a gazillion candles, offer one of those spa-gel masks, a bath tub pillow, and play a guided meditation.
Let her unwind, and before she prunes up, be there with a big fluffy towel fresh out of the dryer.
This ultimate selfless act will be conveyed by not trying to bone her unless it goes in that direction. Seal the deal by making it about HER.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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tangoking
Lover of Boletes



Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 952
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Last seen: 8 months, 17 days
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Quote:
Anonymous said: ...you need to evaluate what you WANT from women. Are you just interested in sex? If so, are you looking for ways to feign romance to convince women to fuck you? If so, dick move. There's ways to get that without entangling women's emotions. Women like to fuck casually too. But if you're looking for building a connection with people, then work on being romantic. It really is all about tailoring it to the individual, because if you use some cut and paste formula for every girl they will know and it won't work.
I've been noodling on this post, and have come to realize that there are two different pieces of romance:
1. WHY be romantic 2. HOW to be romantic.
There's a variety of reasons for WHY. What do I want from her, and/or the romance? - Do I want her to say "I do" and be my everlasting love, and stay together 'till we die? - Do I want a piece of that fat trust fund that Daddy left her? - Do I want to tie her down, blindfold her, and torture her in ways that makes 50 shades look, well, gray? - Am I looking for a conquest? - Do I want to have a kid with her? - Do I want her on the back of my baseball card, for bragging rights? A trophy? - Do I want to romance her for romance itself; i.e., the act of romance is fun?
Irrespective of WHY, the HOW is why I posted this.
A while back a friend told me about a book called "The Five Love Languages." I'm not trying to sell you on the book, but it's 5-star Amazon rated, with over 6400 ratings. Therein, he broke down love into five different groups:
1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Acts of Service 5. Physical Touch
For me, on the receiving side, physical tough reigns supreme; the others are still nice. On the giving side, I tend to think of Words of Affirmation as bullshit, acts of service as a honeydo list, and quality time takes too much time.
Back to the original question, I think that a good place to start is to find out what moves the lady in question, and do that one. Does she like gifts? Flowers, chocolate, and jewelry. Quality time? Sit and play a game of Uno with her or something.
But Anon#1's post made me realize that I was asking more about the WHY than the HOW. The HOW is actually pretty clear to me.
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
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I agree with most of what you said. I think if you are willing to be cold and distant from what YOU want, "seducing" a woman can be pretty easy. Meaning you either become something you aren't or you are just a sociopath who enjoys manipulating people.
However, I definitely didn't think you meant romance as in a one night stand or "tricking" your girlfriend into doing something she would otherwise not agree to in order to please a "great guy." As you said, a violent sexual encounter or whatever.
I thought you meant as in to keep a girlfriend. How to not seem like an uncaring knob. If you just wanted to be a total sociopath then you don't need our advise, just read the book your friend recommended and keep your creepy assholish nature to yourself.
Not sure I understand which you are coming from anymore
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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space walk
Enthusiast



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 459
Loc: la la land
Last seen: 28 days, 16 hours
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Here's the book you're looking for, dude. I flipped through a copy at my friend's house. The stuff in here will totally work, but only because the majority of women are good-hearted and trusting people. Lying always works on trusting people. And sometimes they end up hating everyone for the rest of their lives because of how used one person made them feel by manipulating their good-hearted emotions. So don't do that. That said, here's the book; use it wisely: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-holes-Guide-Handling-Chicks/dp/0312310846
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Knowledge is the best gift; it's fun to obtain, free to give, and priceless to receive.
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Srirachi
Mold Hand



Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 11,411
Loc: Fare Thee Well.
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A woman once told me that making eye contact the whole time she told me about her day was the most intensely romantic, erotic thing that anyone had ever done for her.
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
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Quote:
Srirachi said: A woman once told me that making eye contact the whole time she told me about her day was the most intensely romantic, erotic thing that anyone had ever done for her.
I was just talking to a friend of mine about how sex meant less to me than extended eye contact. Humans have plenty of non-sexual reasons to touch each other but there is no reason to have eye contact for more than about five seconds outside of a relationship. Its really intense and intimate
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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earthfall.rpg
Stranger

Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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The answer that no one will tell you is that it doesnt matter. It is a numbers game. Ask out 50 women. Results will vary on multiple factors (looks, personality, confidence, etc.) But, at least one will have interest. You only need one. Unless you dont, then ask out 100. You will be rejected again and again. It is life. Get over it. Keep moving along.
Edited by earthfall.rpg (11/18/15 07:17 AM)
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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"Why?" to be romantic? Why would you be romantic, you ask?
Do you ever find yourself thinking about a scenario where you meet a woman, and she amazes you, and you want to do everything within your power just to get to know her? Do you ever think about that kind of woman, and how, when someone seems just perfect, flaws and all, you begin to grow in the scope and scale of your love and inspiration in life?
It's not just a dance, it's not just the flowers, though these things may come: But, as to the why, It's because you feel a depth of worthiness, passion, understanding and caring and you just can't wait to share that with someone special. Why? Because she's worth it, and so are you. That is where the passion comes from, the subconscious and sometimes wide awake voyage to the center of the heart. Why? Because you feel sexy and wild and you know that to reach this in another person can spark a passion to be unlike any other.
Connection, amigo, connection. Does it happen all elbows and awkward, or can you think about it, be with it, and dance in step?
That's my ideal, anyway. I'm really patient and don't go out of my way very often, but when I meet someone, I feel like the stars really align.
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ch1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner



Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Thanks everyone for your answers.
I still don't really get it... I'm not sure that I've ever been in love, maybe once... hard to tell. It all seems like the stuff of fairy tales; like a bunch of bullshit to be honest.
but maybe I should try, and it will make more sense.
-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Pay attention to her, and do stuff that makes her happy and shows you care. It's not about giving her shit. It's about giving a shit about her.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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BobaJones
Good Trip Gurpgork



Registered: 03/01/15
Posts: 149
Loc: Far out, man
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Quote:
sun_spots said: Pay attention to her, and do stuff that makes her happy and shows you care. It's not about giving her shit. It's about giving a shit about her.
 /endthread
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Woah
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TheMovement
faeirie princess in training



Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Quote:
BobaJones said:
Quote:
sun_spots said: Pay attention to her, and do stuff that makes her happy and shows you care. It's not about giving her shit. It's about giving a shit about her.
 /endthread
-------------------- Utwiddle.net In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one. BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT Join the Anarchy Camp! Down with Oppression!!
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space walk
Enthusiast



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 459
Loc: la la land
Last seen: 28 days, 16 hours
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Quote:
TheMovement said:
Quote:
BobaJones said:
Quote:
sun_spots said: Pay attention to her, and do stuff that makes her happy and shows you care. It's not about giving her shit. It's about giving a shit about her.
 /endthread
Nailed it.
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Knowledge is the best gift; it's fun to obtain, free to give, and priceless to receive.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 5 hours, 12 minutes
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Putt your dick in a box.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Romance 101 [Re: Patlal]
#22594645 - 11/30/15 01:05 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You gotta be wise enough to know when a gift needs givin'.. we've got just the one. Something to show her that she's second to none.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Quote:
tangoking said: @women: what's the most romantic thing that a guy has ever done for you?
Probably the most romantic thing a guy has ever done for me, was take me out on his motorcycle out to the desert and proposed to me. He also named his motorcycle after me.
I was like, "Why, cause it's fast and yellow?"
He was like, "Nahhh.... cause it's sexy and a thrill."
That dude was such a player
Other ideas: You can write poetry, write a love letter, make art. I'm the type that has written love letters a lot in the past. I have to be in the right mind-state though. Usually handfuls of Xanax do the trick for me
Not really handfuls, but, you know
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millzy


Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
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i do a lot of small stuff for my girl. she has three daughters and always comes home early sunday mornings from my place before getting them all up for church. i buy breakfast for everyone from a nearby bakery every time for her to take home whenever she comes out. i also pay for dinner, gas and generally try to help out in any way i can.
spending money is hardly the only thing you can do though. i've also baked cupcakes for her a couple of times. i get pretty fancy. i've done pink lemonade one time and nutella another time. both times they came out like ridiculously good. cupcakes are especially fun to make because it's like each cup is a little universe you get to create.
-------------------- I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger
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