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Offlinepineal666
Just one of theinfinite pathsto Heaven...

Registered: 01/12/04
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crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not?
    #2249841 - 01/18/04 04:56 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Hello, first time posting a trip story.

This was my third time taking mushrooms, the two times before have been great, just seeing stuff move around and laughing a ton, some revelations but nothing incredibly mind-blowing. I've had a fascination with just how far I could take a mushroom experience, I've wanted to have an intense introspective/spiritual journey, and this last time I think I got it. First off, we were at a super nice cabin on an island, the driveway to the cabin went through a heavily wooded area, that went to a clearing where the house was. The backyard was a small grass area overlooking a cliff. This cliff had a path that led to stairs that led to the beach. I was with three good friends, 3 people I know kind of well, and two people I hadn't met. I ate an eighth of shroooms, washing it down with odwalla c monster. An eighth is the dose I always take. I always seem to come up quicker than others, but this time was crazy, I was tripping about ten minutes after eating, I started seeing visuals that I don't usually see until the peak of my other trips, from the beginning I knew it was going to be different.

We took a walk out on the driveway of the house through the woods, walking out I went in front of everyone to get away from the flashlights, then lagged behind when everyone went back. The trees were huge, not quite making a canopy but were silhouetted against the deepening blue sky. The ferns on the ground looked like plant arms waving and reaching to me. They were nice, welcoming. I turned and saw a fern as big as me, its arms were outstretched about to embrace me, it felt like my feet were rooting in the ground, and that the forest was welcoming me. I knew I wasn't a tree, and the forest knew that too, but it was saying that if I was one, I would be a good one and that I was welcome anytime. Veeerrry nice, it was a great feeling to be accepted. But I wanted to see the house and the ocean before I decided where to stay so I waved and said goodbye (literally) to the forest and walked through the house and out toi the cliff and path. Anytime there were plants around it felt like they were reaching out to me, caressing me soothing me, I would grab and felt like I was holding hands with someone important to me.

I made it down the crazy path and got to the beach. I explored around a bit, but then my body high became really strong and I had to kneel to stay up right. I looked and the stars were swinging and dangling, I looked up farther and saw that the stars were attached to the ends of tentacles of various sea creatures who were swinging their arms and reaching down to me. I stared up and asked someone, god, earth whatever, if I could see everything, I wanted to see it all. I got no immediate answer but decided to head back up to the house.

Once I got to the house my visuals were inasane, there was not a single thing that was moving or acting as it should, colors were shifting things were melting. Usually on mushrooms I have to concentrate on things to hallucinate, but this time it was all just going, there was no need to try and hallucinate my reality seemed completely changed. I walked to the front where an wood carving of a native american chief stood. I looked at the forest in the driveway and back at the chief, and it nodded its head towards the direction fo the forest. I took its advice and walked again on the driveway. At first I was welcomed back into the forest but then I encountered to me to be a giant wolf's head lying on the forest floor, I walked towards it repeating to myself "must remember, must remember..." it was dark so it appeared silhouetted and undetailed but I was sure it was a wolf's head, about as tall as a man and loong. At first I took it to be the spirit of the drug, but I looked more around me and realised that I was surrounded by all things evil, acts of rape and murder and other horribleness were being acted out by tree limbs and just random shit all over the place. Its important to say though that I wasn't frightened by this, nor did I think that the forest itself was evil, I was just taking a walk in the forest and had encountered the essence of evil walking the same path. I stayed for a bit, once again feeling invited, this time by the wolf, I looked at my surroundings and said "with all due respect I must decline, this is not my place" and turned around and walked away.

I walked back into the house, thanked the indian and went to the bathroom. I came out and my friend had changed the entire downstairs it was dark now lit by lavalamps and incense, infected mushroom on the stereo. I went to the upstairs deck to have a cigarette and talk to people. The cig was good, the people on the other hand... well everyone kept talking about how they maybe they were coming up, they could feel a body high, and here I was on some insane journey, I felt like my presence was scaring them and that if I talked about what I had done they would worry about me. I decided to go back to the ocean.

At the ocean I tried to explore and enjoy the drug like I usually do but found this impossible. My experience so far was not good or bad, I can only describe my feelings as intense and difficult to process. I sat down against a log and looked at the sky. Geometric patterns began appearing and flying, forming a tunnel that came to my face. I closed the tunnel and saw the tunnel biurghter and stronger, I opened my eyes and it was still there. I did this multiple times realising that there was no difference between having my eyes closed or open. I went through the tunnel and then it opened into the sky again, where thin wisps of cloud outlined the form of a large and seemingly good being that reached to embrace me.

From this point on I went on a complete head trip at first I was exhilirated but later succumbed to loneliness and guilt. I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't form sentences, and I felt guilty about the whole trip. I felt I had been selfish asking for it all and as punishment I had been shown everything very quickly, I had experienced death and heaven in a matter of minutes. I felt like we live our whole lives for these moments and I had seen them early and temporarily, and that from now on my life would be lived without purpose. I was really depressed and stressed out. I was then worried that since I had seen God or something like it, that I wouldn't be able to relate to even my closest friends, I knew I was on drugs but I thought that the experience was so real and intense that I would never shake it.

After time though I calmed down and realised that I didn't have to take everything in the trip as it was, and that I had to filter what was actually meaningful and what was actually just tripping on drugs. but still the loneliness and just general depression remained through the night and about the half day, but now I feel better, mostly back to normal. So thats my story, I don't know if anyone cares but I felt like I needed to write it out and this place seemed like a good place to put it. I guess I wanna know is: does this happen often? The other people tripping took the same amount and didn't trip nearly as hard, in fact they found the trip to be weaker than previous ones. I guess I just don't understand why the difference would this drastic, and even talking to people about their strongest trip, no one has even come close to experiencing what I did. Anyway, if you made it this far thanks for reading and have a good time with the mushrooms. I personally am done, I got what I always wanted and don't wanna go back again.


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Offlinestefan
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2249928 - 01/18/04 06:07 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

sounds like you just had a very strong trip. sometimes feelings (also bad ones) can be quite overwhelming.


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Anonymous

Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2250209 - 01/18/04 12:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Wow, great report, I didn't mind reading it at all.

Sounds like an amazing experience, yes it is common. I can get to that 'heaven' every time on mushrooms, but I usually have to go through hell first. Mushrooms really help you understand the necessity of good AND evil, imho


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OfflineViaggio
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: Organic]
    #2250354 - 01/18/04 01:40 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Nice trip report. I really like how you connected with the forest...sounds cool.

If your tripping companions had full stomachs, or close to it, that probably contributed to their weaker trip. Was your stomach close to empty? Typically, I eat my shrooms on an empty stomach or close to it. This combined with my rapid metabolism usually results in visuals within 10-15 minutes.


--------------------
"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


Edited by viaggio (01/18/04 01:41 PM)


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OfflineRuNE
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2250903 - 01/18/04 06:44 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)


"crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? "

I'm not sure i understand the question.  :smirk:


That was a well written trip report.  As been said, the difference in your trip and your friends' trip was probably due to an empty stomach.  It's sad that you are leaving the world of the mushroom, but i'm glad to see you've learned such a valuable lesson(s) before you did so.  I hope you keep this knowledge for many years to come.

We must all eventualy deal with an intense trip here and there.
Its how you deal with it that matters.

Good job.


--------------------
~Happy sailing~


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Offlinepineal666
Just one of theinfinite pathsto Heaven...

Registered: 01/12/04
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: RuNE]
    #2253702 - 01/19/04 08:04 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

hey thanks for the responses. I guess what I was trying to ask was not if people had the exact same trip before, but if people had had similar feelings and seen things they interpreted the same way I interpreted the things I saw. It seemed odd to me that I would reject evil and be embraced by good and come out of it feeling as bad as I did. Its also weird that in between the moments of seeing evil and good, moments that I would assume to be the most intense introspective parts, were filled with quieter moments that had a more personal and less universal kind of introspection. Its those smaller moments I think of most now, and they seem to be the ones that I can actually learn from. I see the whole thing as just a waking dream, my subconcious was just shooting randomly and projecting it in front of my eyes, and like normal dreams a lot of it is random and meaningless, but there is always something there that is affecting you in your normal life.


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OfflineViveka
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2254257 - 01/19/04 10:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Beautifully descriptive language, pineal666. Reading your report reminds me of my first few times.
Quote:

It seemed odd to me that I would reject evil and be embraced by good and come out of it feeling as bad as I did.



Perhaps you realized something about "good and evil" that shook your foundation.
Quote:

Its also weird that in between the moments of seeing evil and good, moments that I would assume to be the most intense introspective parts, were filled with quieter moments that had a more personal and less universal kind of introspection. Its those smaller moments I think of most now, and they seem to be the ones that I can actually learn from.



I know exactly what you mean somehow. Those "moments" as you describe them remind me of the feeling of integrating your ego back to baseline during and after an intense trip.


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Offlinepineal666
Just one of theinfinite pathsto Heaven...

Registered: 01/12/04
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2254887 - 01/20/04 02:46 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

ok, so now that I have some distance from the experience the idea of doing shrooms again ain't so bad, but definitely not any time soon. I guess my questions now are: Since I've had thios experience, if I were to trip as hard as I did last time would I be able to, um, what are the words... deal with it better? Would I be able to enjoy it more, or is it just a fact that when you trip hard it always seems overwhelming?

Also, I always seem to have some sort of downer on my trips, and they usually revolve around people not being there and wanting to be with them or having people but not being able to talk to them. This always happens on the comedown, which I've heard a lot of people describe as pleasant. I imagine whatever solutions there may be will probably be within myself, but it never hurts to ask others. thanks.


Edited by pineal666 (01/20/04 02:48 AM)


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2254909 - 01/20/04 03:06 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

deal with it better?




Tripping is a learned art. Anyone reading this must admit tripping with a first timer is a completely different experience than tripping with your friend of ten years. You'll keep expanding your mind while still being revealed new worlds. It's kind of, well, like following your old footsteps around your mind. You need to learn to embrace and accept anything you encounter, because ultimately your mind is creating it for a purpose.

Not all comedowns are pleasant. Weed helps a lot. If I didn't have my girlfriend around on a trip I don't know what I'd do (she even trip-sat over the weekend  :heart:). It's frustrating not to be able to talk to people while you're in the moment, but you need to take these positive reflections back into reality and act on them.


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Offlineshad0want
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: Adden]
    #2262324 - 01/22/04 10:48 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

If you say you have only tripped three times and the first two were all around pleasant, I would think that you are most likely to have good, problem-free trips again, and you may not even hve to worry about "dealing." 

I am hardly an experienced tripper, but i feel confident in saying that it is most definitely possible to learn how to get through tough spots.  I don't know how long it takes for other people.  It seems to be a quite gradual process for me, but there does seem to be a steady, significant progression.  Mushrooms were my first "real" psychedelic.  The first two times, all hell broke loose. It took me two days to get over the second trip.  Ever since, the scariness/loosing it factor has gone down some, but all but one trips have incorporated some serious, overly intense/difficult/heart-wrehcning time -which in retrospect is always very interesting, but still really fkn HARD.  However, each time it is becoming much easier to recognize/deal with/get over. 

As for downers at the end of trips, i think that too is somethign that can be worked on with time, as you learn to recognise the patterns, and probably deal with them consciously outside the context of the trip first, so you can "accept" them more easily while tripping.  Also, does nitrous do anything for you?  I'd enthusiastically recommend whippets for doing away with whatever ails ya :smile:


--------------------
What? Surely, you did not take me seriously?!


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Offlinepsilojoe
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: shad0want]
    #2314744 - 02/08/04 04:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I think if anyone gets involved with psychedelics with any degree of seriousness, the 'bad trip' is an inevitability that you will eventually have to deal with, and there is simply no way to prepare yourself for the potentially devastating effects it can have. Tripping is a learning process and it can teach you so much about the reality you live in, the world and the way everything fits together but like most things in life, it had a good and a bad side. Just remember that many millions of people in the worls have very similar experiences with psychedelic drugs and you just have to cope with it in the best way you can


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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: psilojoe]
    #2319428 - 02/09/04 10:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

those poeple that were scared of your prescence, they were just pretending not to trip. that has happened to me so often. this girl i know took coke/acid/shrooms at a psytrance party and fell asleep in 3 hours the second time i tried to get her to trip. the first time we snorted maybe 50mg of dpt each and she again, fell asleep.

i've had it happen with other poeple two. its great wierdness, but probably for the best, don't want to go around blowing up poeple's minds ya know.


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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Offlinecrazychemist
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #2319844 - 02/10/04 12:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I wouldn't say that is usually sleeping.  I took 3.7g of my homegrown on new years and was "sleeping" for almost three hours.  What was happening in my mind was anything but sleeping.  Three hours of internal agony thinking I was dying or going insane.  I would say it was a bad trip, but that didn't stop me from trying again and having a blast.  Take bad trips as they come.  Before the 3.7g trip I was taking only about 2g max at once of purchased (probably shitty) shrooms.

I agree with the nitrous, that makes the trip even more insane.  :mushroom2:


--------------------
The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room.
-Waking Life


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Re: crazy trip, wondering if it is common or not? [Re: pineal666]
    #2320787 - 02/10/04 10:56 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Two friends and I each swallowed an eighth one day, rather unexpectedly, I had been saving the three 1/8ths and they convinced me we should do them that night. What followed was no mushroom trip I had ever experienced before - it rivaled my most intense LSD trip and even an LSD/MDMA combo as far as intensity go.
What struck me most in your trip report was the tunnel that appeared indiscriminately. I was sitting on a couch in a living room which was wallpapered with yellow paper that had vines and birds and leaves all over it. At first the visuals were standard, with all the wallpaper shifting and growing.
All of a sudden - everything went fractal. I waved my hand in front of my face, and it left a trail of what I can only describe as shattered glass imposed on my reality, refracting everything I saw. Through this fractal glass, I followed one vine that was travelling fast. It hit a doorway (which contained no door, just a frame), and when I tried to follow it into the doorway, it felt like my eyes were moving in directions they never had before.
And the tunnel appeared. And everything around me swirled and ebbed and flowed and Ani and Larry (my trip-buddies) were swirling through one another, moving around the room in a completely different time-frame from me as I travelled through this tunnel of past, present, and possible future. I saw everything, and nothing, and when I tried to close my eyes to groove with the David Bowie and get some closed-eye visuals, it was exactly the same as when my eyes were open - I could still see the room to some extent as an afterimage, still swirling. (Earlier in the trip, dancing around to Radiohead, I had closed my eyes and seen a wireframe image of the entire room. Eyes still closed, I reached out to where I thought certain furniture and walls were, and found them.)
As I went through the tunnel, I couldn't decide if things were good or bad. I had visions of myself committing suicide, but they weren't scary. Timothy Leary describes such experiences in his awesome book The Psychedelic Experience, which I STRONGLY suggest you read before your next trip. It has definitely helped me. My visions were actually just one, on repeat: viewed from a camera on the top floor of a closet, I am walking towards the closet, climb up (just like in those anti-gun commercials), pull a huge knife out of the top shelf, and then just slide it into my chest. When it would happen, I would feel myself die, and then enter another lifetime where everything was just as I had left it, and it would lead to that same knife-plunge moment.
Someone videotaped the trip for 45 minutes on and off, and listening to myself and smoking and really pondering the trip, I realize what happened. I also was looking for that Heaven, for the clear light. But I held on to it. And I tried to understand it. In that one moment when I followed the vine into the doorframe, I left my reality and tried to make sense of a higher one.
Next time, just let it happen. That's the best advice anyone can give anyone. Don't judge what you see as evil or good (it's hard, I know) but just watch it. And if anything seems evil or bad, just laugh at it, say "No." and go somewhere else.
I don't know if that helps at all..I just wanted to share.
Anyway, this is what I found.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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