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OfflineTheScientificMethod
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Registered: 02/20/14
Posts: 632
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Last seen: 21 days, 19 hours
Mushroom Diaries 13: A Stranger Joins (1.5 grams)
    #22495039 - 11/08/15 10:21 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Date: 6 November 2015

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: A lot going on in my life, but content with having a day off work.
Setting (physical location): Grand Canyon National Park
time of day: 8:30am
last meal: Breakfast of oatmeal and raisins at 6:30am

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (male)
body weight: (175lb)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): PES Hawiian Mushrooms + .25mg Xanax
Dose(s): 1.5 grams
Method of administration: Ground into dust and mixed in orange juice

EFFECTS
Administration time:8:30
Duration: 5 hours
First effects: 30 minutes
Peak: 1.5 hours
Come down: 2.0 hours
Baseline: 5.5 hours

Intensity (overall): (3/10)

Assessment
Pleasantness: (3)
Unplesantness: (2)
Visual Intensity: (1)


REPORT
I have been working a lot lately. I really can’t complain because I just finished a really long “vacation” of sorts, so it makes sense that I’d need to be working as much as I can right now to save up some money. But the fact is that it still sucks to be working so much. I had yesterday off work though, and so I was really determined to make something of my day.

It was the first time that I’d had a Friday off work in almost 4 weeks. When I left my friend’s place I told him to wish me luck because I was going to drive out to the Grand Canyon and “get weird.” I sort of did this as a means by which to force myself to trip. As anyone who’s read my trip reports knows by now, as much as I love mushrooms and as important as they have become in my life, I still don’t take them with ease; on the contrary, they give me a lot of fear and anxiety and trepidation. But by telling my buddy that I’d be doing that, it basically forced me into doing the dose this weekend.

I woke very early, ate a breakfast and drove for awhile to get to Grand Canyon National Park. I’ve tripped here before; in fact I tripped here on 1 gram about a month ago. So this time I decided to turn it up just a notch. I had two grams with me, but decided to be conservative and settled on 1.5 instead. I stopped at a gas station about 3 miles before the park and bought orange juice. I mixed the mushroom powder into the orange juice immediately, but didn’t dose it for about 25 minutes. So it soaked in the orange juice for that whole time. I hoped that this would bring on effects more quickly, and I think that it did.

I had eaten a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast because I knew that I’d be hiking that day. So I wasn’t going at this with a fully empty stomach. I’m sure that if I had taken the juice on an empty stomach that my system would have sucked it right up. As it was however, I still felt the effects within 15-25 minutes of taking the dose.

One reason that I like doing big hikes on mushrooms is because I can just sort of keep my head down and put one foot in front of the other. Although it could be dangerous to hike this trail on mushrooms, I’ve done it many times before, so I know the path very well, and I knew that if I started getting bothered by things that I could just take it one step at a time.

I definitely felt some body load, but it is quite possible that could have been caused largely by the .25mg of Xanax that I took at the start of the hike. I puffed my little vapor pen a few times on the way down the trail, but the majority of the high was from the mushroom. I’ve been listening a lot to that Stone Temple Piolets lyric, “Too much walking, shoes warn thin / Too much trippin’ and my soul’s worn thin.” Someone posted about that song in The Shroomery the other day and it’s really resonated with me. It’s not that I don’t get spiritual or personal value out of eating mushrooms, but it just doesn’t hold the same magic that it held when I was young and innocent to what I was getting into. Back then it was absolutely mind blowing, but the fact is that for at least all of the come up these days I’m just uncomfortable. The only part that I really and fully enjoy is sometimes during and right after the peak because I get all introspective.

At the beginning of this trip, probably at the one hour mark I was very introspective. I completely felt like I was sitting with a therapist who was analyzing my thoughts and putting pieces of my life together into patterns. It was a separation of the self from the… I don’t even know what to call it—“the other self?”.

I would absolutely say that the defining characteristic of the beginning of the trip was ideation and changing of my thought patterns—which is really just what I look for during psychedelic experiences. I did start to notice visual distortion, but it wasn’t all that heavy. Mostly the visual stuff had more to do with identifying patterns in the earth (just like how I was identifying patterns in my thinking) while these ideas came to me.

Two thoughts that were especially important to me and that came out of this trip were as follow:

First, there is this idea of what I’m doing or why I take psychedelics. Every time I get into entheo-space I have a tendency to build metaphors around what I’m experiencing. This is because I don’t think that it’s possible to describe the psychedelic experience without metaphor. So when I’m in the psychedelic state I tend to work really heavy to uncover the “perfect metaphor” for what happens after eating mushrooms or smoking DMT. I realized that my ultimate goal is to build a metaphor that someone can follow along with 100%. It will be step by step by step, and at each level, the listener will say, “yes, I’m exactly on the same page and understand what you’re describing.” Then, once the entire thing is built, you sort of “pull away the sheet” and reveal that it’s not a metaphor at all; rather, it’s a reality that describes exactly how things are.

Now let me take a moment here to confess that I don’t expect any of that last paragraph to really make sense. It’s an idea that came out of an altered state of mind and even within the trip I could see that the idea was hard for me to even work my mind around. Again however, it’s just words that I’m using here, so sometimes—especially in working with psychedelics—it is impossible to find an adequate set of words to describe the idea. Language only goes so far and can only do so much.

So the second thought/idea that came from this trip was an extension of William Blake’s “Nothing Lasts” statement. I saw this imagery of something akin to quicksand, and that represented time. And atop that quicksand was what everything in the entire world was built. It’s our life savings, our physical condition, our youth, our cities, our families—all of it, no matter how closely we hold it slips into that sand with time and nothing can last forever. It looked so futile when I watched this image—I mean why bother with anything if it all fades away and disappears in time? But then I saw an image of the plant. Somehow I could imagine a tree and how it could grow faster than the sand could suck. So even though the tree would die, it would give birth to other trees which would also outgrow the sands of time. I don’t know… I realize all of this sounds completely nonsensical. But it’s the best that I can do to lay out these ideas on the page. I don’t pretend that they make any sense.

***
So I was about at the peak of my mushroom trip at about 1.25 hours when something sort of strange happened. The trail that I was hiking was relatively quite that day; there were very few other hikers, so I felt confident that I would have this time to myself, but as I stopped to take a picture, this one guy caught up to me. He asked, “Have you hiked this trail before?” To which I told him that I had hiked it many times and I started telling him about the trail below our location. This was his first time hiking the trail, so I think that he valued my input about the different options that he had for his hike that day. Well, before I knew it we were hiking together. I was very self conscious about this because this was right when I was reaching the “peak” of my trip. The patterns in his shirt glowed with a high intensity and I could see these streaking patterns in the blue sky that I knew to be invisible to anyone who didn’t have mushrooms in their stomach.

That said, I also thought to myself that it didn’t really matter if this dude followed me. If nothing else then it was assuring to me that he didn’t notice my behavior to be weird. I thought to myself, “shoot, this could be a great opportunity to become more comfortable being social while on psychedelics.” I’m normally so reclusive when I trip because I worry that others can tell that I’m tripping, but clearly this guy didn’t get that impression at all, and as it turned out we hiked together for almost two hours.

We talked about a lot of stuff, and I know that it went pretty deep pretty quickly. I mean I wasn’t going to shift my thinking to “normal” just to meet this guy’s needs, so we talked about philosophies, dreams, hopes, youth, and mortality. I have to think that he found the conversation to be especially atypical, but at the same time, I’m just an atypical dude, so it wasn’t that far out of line. From time to time however I would catch myself saying something especially far out there and he wouldn’t know what to say in response. It was never enough for him to want to part ways however.

When we got down to the Colorado River together I asked him if he was going to walk down to the water itself or just stay on the trail and continue onward. I almost always just hike right by the river and never go down to the beach to hang, but at this point I was in a super-positive and warm place in terms of the trip itself. The mushroom had settled into my system very well and although I was well on my way down from the peak, I still had mushroom dust in my brain.

So this stranger and I took a 5 minute detour down to the river where I took off my shoes and socks and waded into the waters—something that I almost never actually do. It was nice. I was very introspective.

I walked over to one side of the beach where I had some isolation and I contemplated things. It was absolutely a good part of the trip here. I thought about all the times I’d hiked this same trail over the years and how different I’ve been as time has passed by. I also wondered why it was that I kept coming back to this place; what was it that compelled me to make this same journey again and again and again?

The stranger left me alone for about ten minutes before wandering back over to me to make more small talk. He told me about his life and how he’d survived cancer and the loss of his wife about three years ago. I almost cried, but managed to hold it together; maybe if he’d told me about this stuff during the peak of the trip I would have broken into tears, but as it was I just listened. I was so grateful to have him there to share the things that he’d been through with me. It felt really special to me and I thanked him for being so open. I even asked him for what advice he’d give me because he’d just turned 60 and I had just turned 30. It was really a great experience, and I’m glad that I ended up hiking with this dude.

Not long after that we parted ways and the trip rounded towards a conclusion. It was not an especially powerful mushroom trip, and I suspect that this had something to do with the fact that I’d eaten a relatively full breakfast. I don’t regret having eaten because of the physical activity that I went through that day in hiking the canyon, but I do know two things—the trip would have been heavier on an empty stomach, and I absolutely could have handled 2 grams rather than 1.5. I think that the next time I trip I’ll aim for 2-3 grams.

When I got back home that night I went to a sound meditation ceremony near where I live and after that I went to a friend’s house to smoke DMT. The friend had never blasted before and we arranged about two weeks ago to set yesterday as the day to do it. So we went back to his place after the sound meditation, I smoked 25mg (still processing my last heavy DMT trip so I didn’t want to completely break through), and he smoked 45mg. We talked for about a half hour after his trip and then I smoked some bud and went home. It was a long day but it was also a good and very fulfilling day. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to do all of those things and I’m grateful that I followed through with the plan to do it.

That’s all that I have to say about this particular psychedelic experience.


Edited by TheScientificMethod (12/25/22 04:30 PM)


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