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Love_spirit
Circle Of Power


Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22497464 - 11/08/15 07:11 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I once had a drug addled skag for a stepmom that would run her mouth endlessly and never fucking listen, lieing about any random detail in her life to try and sound interesting. It was such a godsend when I got the chance to kick her to the curb. You seem sweet though. I think the kid would be lucky to have you in his life.
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concrete_666
fungus among us


Registered: 04/14/14
Posts: 654
Loc: the land of the free
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: bloodsheen]
#22497486 - 11/08/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Which came first, the chicken or the egg? If heaven was perfect, how was there a fallen Angel, before sin?
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: concrete_666] 2
#22497503 - 11/08/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
concrete_666 said:

Quote:
concrete_666 said:

Thank you for your contributions.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: bloodsheen]
#22498833 - 11/09/15 01:30 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
OsculateOfDemise said: I always get super horny right before my period but once it starts I usually am in a lot of pain so the idea of sex usually turns me off. Though it normally doesn't stop me if my partner is riled up and wants some fun.
Weird, the couple days right before my period is when I'm the LEAST horny. The 3 or 4 days before my period comes are like the 3 or 4 days out of the entire month that I want nothing to do with sex. And that's how I usually know my period is going to come, is if I lose my drive suddenly. Then it comes back, and the day of my heaviest period is the day I enjoy sex the most. Orgasms help a lot with the pain.
Quote:
bloodsheen said: I was really drunk when I posted that I hope this guy gets scared off and I was totally expecting to get completely railed in here. Glad to see I had kid gloves on compared to the rest of you 
Uzziel's got your number. This is just you jerking yourself off. You'll make this guy fall in love with you, make him toss aside all of his scruples and morals, possibly do a bunch of drugs, possibly not see his kid as much, and in the end he won't be the right person because there is no right person for you. Not at this point in your life anyway.
My ex used people the way you do. Treated humans like a giant chemistry lab, "lets just add a little of this and try a bit of this...nope, that didn't work, throw it in the sink and try again."
Funny how even though every single person essentially said the same thing you're still gonna pursue this guy to the bitter end. And by funny I mean it makes me want to give up on humanity
I'm really not like that though. The only person I really gave up on was my last ex, and that's just because he was perpetually unhappy. I mean, could YOU be happy with a person who was temperamental and moody every single goddamn day? We're not just talking about 1 bad day out of 100 or even 20 good ones. We're talking about somebody who is perpetually miserable every single day and is irritated pretty much 24/7.
And even still, I gave it a legitimately good shot. I did the best that I could, and tolerated him for as long as I could. He was quite literally the worst person possible for me however.
See, I'm a chill, optimistic, happy, laid-back type of person. But I'm also very receptive to other people's feelings, so if I'm around people who are angry or upset all the time, it starts affecting my psyche negatively. No no, the perfect person for him would either be some autistic girl who can't sense or react to people's feelings, or another person who is just as miserable and moody as he is. They can both be perpetually unhappy and miserable together for the rest of their lives together. Not for me.
In a perfect world, I would totally take back my ex from 3 years ago, as well as my ex from 5 years ago. I'll admit, I screwed that relationship up. My ex from 5 years ago wanted to get married and was also baby crazy, but I was 25, still young, not ready to settle down to just 1 person, and was more interested in exploring polyamory and alternative lifestyles. So I gave him up. That one was just bad timing. I wasn't ready to get married or have a child at age 25. I always saw myself settling down in my mid 30's. Had I met him like 7 years later though, things would have been perfect.
Well actually, now that I think about it, I would not take back my ex from 3 years ago. He was the perfect guy in almost every way, but the only problem with him is that he was perpetually insecure. Constantly going through my Facebook and my phone every day, and I let him, because I had nothing to hide. But we have no hard feelings against each other. If he called me or if I called him and needed something from him, we would have each other's backs.
I'm still friends with a majority of my exes. The fact that most of them still want to be friends with me, is just proof that the breakup was mutual, and that I did nothing of the sort such as "use them."
I know exactly what I like. That's why I choose the people that I choose in my life. 99% of guys that I meet, I want nothing to do with them, or I let it be just a 1 night stand.
Edited by Crystal G (11/09/15 01:49 AM)
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G] 1
#22499212 - 11/09/15 07:10 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
And even still, I gave it a legitimately good shot. I did the best that I could, and tolerated him for as long as I could. He was quite literally the worst person possible for me however.
Do you see what you've written here? Compare it to what you wrote about him in the pub after you first met. Talking about how the chemistry is perfect, the guy is perfect, how you're going to marry him, etc.
My point is: you fall hard and fast for guys. The army dude, the personal trainer, the Peruvian from Philly, all of them the same at first. And then you look back at what you called incredible and see how awfully flawed it is. I'm seeing a real pattern here.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22499227 - 11/09/15 07:20 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Do you see what you've written here? Compare it to what you wrote about him in the pub after you first met. Talking about how the chemistry is perfect, the guy is perfect, how you're going to marry him, etc.
My point is: you fall hard and fast for guys. The army dude, the personal trainer, the Peruvian from Philly, all of them the same at first. And then you look back at what you called incredible and see how awfully flawed it is. I'm seeing a real pattern here.
Oh yeah, that's absolutely true. I'm a very intense and impulsive person, and this shows through in my love life. I fall hard and fast for them, and they fall just as hard and fast for me. Almost all of my relationships have either ended up with a proposal by the end of the week, or me moving in with them by the end of the month.
I will say though, I was never in love with my personal trainer. I never fell for him. I always kept him at a distance, because I knew he was a scumbag, but I loved having him around because he was nice eye candy.
In any case, I have taken your guys' advice, about "taking things slow." I have several other dates booked this week. I'm broadening my horizons, instead of fixating on just 1 person this time.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22499228 - 11/09/15 07:20 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Crystal, what is your reason is for never wanting to have kids?
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: yogabunny]
#22499339 - 11/09/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said: Crystal, what is your reason is for never wanting to have kids?
I don't like the idea of having tons of responsibility. I can't even commit to buying a car, because I don't want the responsibility of having payments and all that crap. Whenever I have bought a car, it's always been something worth under $500 so I can just pay once and never have to worry about ditching it or setting it on fire whenever I move or don't need it anymore. I can't even commit to living in the same city or working the same job for more than 2 years. I like change and new experiences in my life.
I don't like the idea of not having any alone time.
I don't like the idea of not having a good night's sleep for years and years. I've always needed much more sleep than the average person. Some days I still sleep as much as a teenager.
I like seeing all the 0000's in my bank account, and everything that I have worked for will quickly turn to 0 in less than a year if I have a child right now at this point in my life. Things I want to do in life: I want to start a business, I want to travel, these are all things you cannot do with children until they're a certain age.
Sometimes I think I would make a good mother and want a child, but I realize this is fantasy type thinking that sounds far better in my head in dreamworld than in real-life. Like "expectations" VS "reality."
Being a single mother is one of my biggest fears. It's such a big fear for me, in fact, that I've thought extensively about what I would do if I ever found out I was pregnant while in Brazil or Costa Rica or somewhere where abortions are not readily legal. Or if I was 6-9 months pregnant and the father left me or something. I would be one of those women that would probably freak the fuck out and drop their baby off at a fire station (which you can do anonymously and legally in California to a newborn baby). You can drop your baby off without giving your name so they can't track you down, and you can disappear off the face of the earth. And walk away.
Did I mention I enjoy walking away from responsibility?
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22499347 - 11/09/15 08:07 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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This being the case I would definitely not date seriously a guy who has a kid and after a couple dates is already talking about putting a baby in you.
I also don't want to have kids, but my reasons are different. If someone came into my life who already had a kid, I would be happy to be part of raising that child in a loving and supportive environment. Thankfully I am already in a relationship with a partner who feels the same way I do about it.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting children, but if I were you I would not get involved with this man. There is someone else out there who you can have just as great of a connection with who feels the same as you about children and life.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: yogabunny]
#22499416 - 11/09/15 08:38 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said: This being the case I would definitely not date seriously a guy who has a kid and after a couple dates is already talking about putting a baby in you.
I don't think he's being for real about the baby thing. I think that's just foreplay for him. Honestly, I do.
He's the type of guy that wants me to talk to him in bed about all the kids we’re going to have. He even admitted to me that that's what turns him on the most in bed and gets him to orgasm the fastest. He wants me to talk to him about our future and all this shit in bed. That's really what he asked from me.
I'm pretty convinced that talking this way is just a sexual thing for him. But I am not 100% sure, and I can't rule out the fact that he might have serious intentions about trying to impregnate me.
I have to admit, talking like that is really hot, even though the thought of having kids terrifies me. In a strange way, it's a HUGE turn-on. Kind of like how nothing terrifies me more than cops, and so consequently, my biggest sexual fantasies almost always involve cops or the SWAT team. Man oh man, I fantasize so hard about cops it's not even funny.
Edited by Crystal G (11/09/15 08:47 AM)
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Atrium
Cunt Tickler


Registered: 08/18/13
Posts: 1,284
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22500195 - 11/09/15 12:15 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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So crystal G finally hit her wall somewhere around 30? That's weird...
-------------------- The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it. The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Atrium]
#22500218 - 11/09/15 12:20 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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"hit her wall"?
I'm sorry I think you got lost on your way to the red pill, here's the right link: https://www.reddit.com/r/theredpill
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: yogabunny]
#22500379 - 11/09/15 12:58 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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What does the phrase "hit her wall" even mean? Because I haven't changed since I was 25. Before 25, I will admit I was a totally different person.
Edited by Crystal G (11/09/15 01:09 PM)
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22500456 - 11/09/15 01:16 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's a concept that "the red pill" & "MRA" types use to describe the point at which a woman ceases to be at her peak level of attractiveness and fertility. They say that when a woman "hits the wall" she becomes less desirable to "alphas" and starts getting kind of desperate to find any mate.
I actually got banned from the red pill subreddit for rationally explaining why I believe some of their main principles to be completely paradoxical.
If you enjoy torturing yourself by making yourself really angry, then go read some threads in the red pill subreddit.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: yogabunny]
#22500495 - 11/09/15 01:27 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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The thing is, I'm not really desperate to find a mate. I just find these types of guys psychologically fascinating. I'm actually kind of interested in exploring this "impregnation fetish" sexually, because so far I'm pretty convinced this is nothing more than a sexual fetish for these types of guys.
Personally, I find the whole concept of "alpha" and "beta" to be nonsense anyways. Because, #1, nobody is either 100% alpha or 100% beta, just like how nobody has 100% masculine or 100% feminine traits. People usually have a combination of both personality traits in them.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22500511 - 11/09/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude, you may want to find out if that impregnation stuff is just pillow talk, or if it's something this dude is about for real. You seem uncertain, and I get that that may be part of the thrill for you, but this guy could actually be mentally unstable and is trying to procreate with you.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Crystal G]
#22500523 - 11/09/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: The thing is, I'm not really desperate to find a mate. I just find these types of guys psychologically fascinating. I'm actually kind of interested in exploring this "impregnation fetish" sexually, because so far I'm pretty convinced this is just a sexual turn-on for these types of guys.
Personally, I find the whole concept of "alpha" and "beta" to be nonsense anyways. Because, #1, nobody is either 100% alpha or 100% beta, just like how nobody has 100% masculine or 100% feminine traits. People usually have a combination of both personality traits in them.
Dude, I don't think you are + I 100% think that the alpha beta shit is nonsense, as well as everything else these misogynistic tools have to say.
Another one of their theories is that the ideal female is around 23-24 and also never to date an female who has children, or who has "hit the wall". They think the best females only go for alphas and basically spend every waking minute of the day trying to become alpha to attract these females, and they generally refer to human interaction and relationships like the narrator of a nature documentary.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22500556 - 11/09/15 01:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Dude, you may want to find out if that impregnation stuff is just pillow talk, or if it's something this dude is about for real. You seem uncertain, and I get that that may be part of the thrill for you, but this guy could actually be mentally unstable and is trying to procreate with you.
Soooooo I didn't even think about that, and I totally might have let him inside of me without protection. It's cool though, because he didn't cum, and I was nowhere close to ovulating I'm pretty sure.
Do I regret it? No way..... he felt fucking amazing! YOLO 
He doesn't give off the vibe that he's mentally unstable to me though. I mean, he's nothing at all like the LAST guy that tried to impregnate me.
So, I didn't share this story on the Shroomery, but a few weeks ago, I actually DID run into a guy who was legit completely mentally unstable and wanted to wife me up and impregnate me. I was standing around on the street in Beverly Hills, and this guy driving a Maserati calls out to me and asks for my number. I gave it to him thinking, "Why the fuck not?"
Dude ended up being a crazy psycho stalker. He was half Persian, half Italian, so basically incredibly passionate and intense and insane to the point that it was WAY too much, even for me. In the 2 hours after I met him, he pulled some weird shit.
Within the hour it took me to drive back home, he called me over a dozen times, 3 out of those calls which I picked up to tell him "I'll be home in 20 or 30 or X amount of minutes," only to have him call me back again the next minute later.
I call him after I get back home, and here is already what transpired via phone call and text: -he is already insisting I meet his parents and move in with him, says he will "take really good care of me" -he is already insisting I be 100% faithful to him -he is already talking about how he is going to fuck me so hard he impregnates me, and is talking about the perfect little daughter he has always wanted and is going to have with me -tells me he loves me with his heart over and over again, and talks about what a beautiful wedding we would have -keeps sending me diamond ring and heart emojis -talks about how God meant for us to meet on that street in Beverly Hills, so we could be together for the rest of our lives -He is crying, saying he misses me, says he wants to marry me on New Year's Eve and is already planning out our wedding and shit
Bear in mind, this guy did not even know my name yet. I never even told him MY NAME the whole time we conversed with each other, nor did he asked.
The guy was fucking borderline psychotic, and I should have seen all the warning signs, but of course I ignored them all and just ate it all up instead. For some fucked up reason, I fucking LOVED IT!!!! It's like this guy had no borders or filter whatsoever in his mind, and this intensity and passion was admittedly a huge turn on for me. Dude. Is. FIERCE. Can you imagine what this guy must be like in bed?!?!?!??!
So I was on the phone totally egging him on, like "Yeah, keep talking to me like that baby."
EVEN THOUGH I could already tell this was going to end up horribly for me, and he was probably going to end up losing his shit and murdering me when he finds out all the guys I've been talking to. HAHAHA. Dead. DEATH BY TKO AHHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!! FUCK, I'm so fucked in the head.
I ended up having to say, "Hi. I'm totally ready to marry you, but only as friends. And in exchange for giving me a cushy lifestyle, I will give you a baby, and you can have her. I will sign away my parental rights and everything. She's all yours."
Still didn't work deterring him. So yeah, I totally egged him on at first, and he blew up my phone a million more times before I eventually stopped returning all his texts and calls after the 3rd day. For 3 whole weeks he called me from different numbers so that I wouldn't know it was him... and he would leave me 3-minute long voicemails of him just breathing heavily on the other end.
For weeks and weeks, every day I would receive around a dozen 3-minute long voicemails of him doing this every day, just breathing heavily or jerking off on the phone like a psycho maniac, until gradually his calls became less and less frequent and eventually stopped.
It was really interesting observing the whole thing though. I've never come across anybody that intense before. Even though it was very short-lived and I never got to experience a relationship with him first-hand, I can only imagine the craziness that would have ensued.
All I have is one question: How the fuck does a crazy person even get a Maserati?!??! That's what I REALLY want to know!
Edited by Crystal G (11/09/15 02:25 PM)
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: yogabunny]
#22500590 - 11/09/15 01:57 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said: Another one of their theories is that the ideal female is around 23-24 and also never to date an female who has children, or who has "hit the wall". They think the best females only go for alphas and basically spend every waking minute of the day trying to become alpha to attract these females, and they generally refer to human interaction and relationships like the narrator of a nature documentary.
Yeah, that's all bullshit. If what they say is true, the stereotypical "alpha" is going to peak sometime around ages 16-20, and declines in their "alpha" manhood from age 25. (This is actually a legit fact, men decline in testosterone every year once they hit age 25.)
According to these men, women are hypergamous in nature. Yet we find that in modern day society, stereotypical "beta" types make the most money. People like Steve Jobbs, Bill Gates, your typical neurosurgeon or Wall Street investor, they're not stereotypical alpha types.
Your stereotypical alpha is probably going to be bald, with a beer gut, working at a gas station by the time he's in his 30's. He literally has nothing that's attractive to women by the time he's hit age 30.
The whole thing is nonsense. If the whole alpha/beta thing were true, then we'd find that young guys in their teens and early 20's are the most lucky with women, but we often find that these types of young men have the opposite experience and strike out with women time and time again.
Personally, I think believers of this theory took high school social politics a little too personally. High school social politics usually doesn't apply once people venture out into the real world.
Edited by Crystal G (11/09/15 02:11 PM)
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Had the Most Amazing Date Tonight--But He Has a Child (Dealbreaker for Me). What to do? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22500821 - 11/09/15 03:06 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Dude, you may want to find out if that impregnation stuff is just pillow talk, or if it's something this dude is about for real.
Either way it's fucking weird.
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