I'm looking for specifics, not be told "that's a bad thing to do". I want to know the actual repercussions. Also not looking for other alternatives. I hate to repeat myself, but the only thing I want to know is what it is physically doing to me or what it has done over the years. I'm pretty much begging you to not turn this into advising me of alternatives, this is not what this question is about. I don't want to sound like a dick, but I'm looking for specific answers and the only ones I want to hear are those specific answers. If no one here has them, then just let the thread die. Again I really don't mean to sound like a dick, but more often than not when I when I ask stuff like this, someone has to chime in with their miracle cure and what not. Let's just leave it at there is literally nothing you can say or suggest that I haven't already thought of or tried.
Let's also get this out the way up front as well, my parents were one of those people who drugged their kids just to make them go to sleep from a very early age. I've got a ridiculous tolerance to it now as over the years I've had to take more and more just to sleep. I am not doing it because I'm a teenager who can't find a better high. It is literally only used to put me to sleep. Most people get drowsy when they take 50mg, 100mg makes most people unable to even stay awake. I take 250mg and it barely even registers unless I have a totally empty stomach, It's starting to far exceed that though. Oer the past few weeks, it's climbed to 375 mg. A little space out, even with the 250 doses. I take a smaller dose, and hope it helps me sleep, but when it doesn't, I take some more. After a period I know it should be working and just isn't, I increase the dose higher. This process may take 4-6 hours, if that matters at all.
Obviously this is a very high dose. I've wondered for years what it's done to me but never thought to really ask here, where someone might actually know. Yes I have asked my doctor(s), and it's useless to do so. All they ever say is "that is too much" with no explanation on the effects, even when asked what they could be. I have asked before on forums but it's been on totally drug unrelated sites and no one has any clue.
So does anyone here actually know? I'm not the brightest person and reading through pages of medical documentation tells me nothing, I just need shit broken down in simple to understand terms. As an example that I'm not verifying or claiming is the actual case, I mean like "eating a bunch of transfats can cause heart complications because it clogs things up, which means your heart has to work harder to perform it's normal function and was a job it was never designed to cope with". Something like that. Liver failure, why? Brain damage, Why? Just the basic serious effects and what about taking those doses causes those effects.
Ahead of time, I thank anyone who actually reads all this and can offer real insight. I literally am just curious.
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