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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
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Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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How do I deal with not knowing who I am
#22474079 - 11/03/15 11:58 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I don't have any identity for myself. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and feel like I lack the skills to go back to school and find something. I was pretty much moved through highschool without learning enough to function properly in this society. I feel like I'm just aimlessly floating through life without any sense of self I lack a good amount of social skills and have had this uptight nervousness these past few years that has stopped me from relaxing and enjoying myself.
It just feels like I'm in a job interview 24/7, like even around my friends I can't even sit in a relaxed fashion because I have this weight on me. Party's, festivals, even at home theres a lot of times I can't relax. I feel like my life is hopeless. Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of right? I have no real skills and no one here for me except for maybe one person and I don't know where to go from here
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
Edited by Rebelutionsssss (11/04/15 12:36 AM)
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Toadstool5
A Registered Mycophile



Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 1,359
Loc: The Golden State
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss] 1
#22474156 - 11/04/15 12:32 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of
Thats a bit subjective dude. I would argue that our only "purpose" in life is to eat, sleep, live, breed (optional), and die.
Everything beyond that is extraordinary, even having a hobby means you have a surplus of supplies and can now pursue greater, albeit unecessary to life, desires such as accomplishment.
You aren't too much of a lost drifter if you have an education and own a phone/computer to access the greatest tool of all man-kind in order to improve yourself!
You are on the right path and doing more than simply living. Believe it or not you do have a plan of action even if it doesn't seem like it. You simply have too much ambition and drive for a better existence
-------------------- If you do not know where the mushroom products you are consuming are grown, think twice before eating them. - Paul Stamets AMU Teks Stro's Write Ups
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss] 1
#22474184 - 11/04/15 12:50 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of right? 
Wrong.
Your whole purpose is being what you already are, i.e., being here now.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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Cujllickduo



Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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im sorry to hear this man. its honestly really touching as i feel the same and its just fucking endless.
i have nobody in my life thew except 2 family members my gran/granddad and i have my girlfriend but i doubt we will last, shes not a keeper.
You will pull threw i don't know how so i cant give advise on that which im sorry to say man, i feel your pain.
whats life if you cant live it happy,skatty. much love man it wont always be like this.
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Emacov

Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 115
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: I lack a good amount of social skills and have had this uptight nervousness these past few years that has stopped me from relaxing and enjoying myself.
It just feels like I'm in a job interview 24/7, like even around my friends I can't even sit in a relaxed fashion because I have this weight on me. Party's, festivals, even at home theres a lot of times I can't relax.
What brings up that nervousness? Is it a thinking about future or what others will think of you in your group of friends? Watch when that feeling arises and try to honestly find in yourself the root of it. If it is the insecurity about social skills: socialize more! If you worry about the other type of skills: experiment, search what interest and intrigues you, try new things which are or resemble things you admire.
Deep breathes always help as instant relaxation. Meditation in long run. It helped me to be more accepting and let go, to find peace and comfort.
Edited by Emacov (11/04/15 01:12 AM)
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Emacov]
#22474224 - 11/04/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thanks for all the replies everyone. It's just my insecurities that bubble up and then I find it extremely hard to just sit back and have fun. This has been happening more and more and even though I try and relax, take deep beathes and all that I just can't shake it
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi



Registered: 09/01/13
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Shake it off. Eat good food and drinks. Get high and dance. Have fun.
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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MoxyOx
Grazin'

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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: WhoManBeing] 2
#22475286 - 11/04/15 10:04 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You cannot find yourself, only create yourself.
Get to work, son.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: MoxyOx]
#22476380 - 11/04/15 12:29 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
MoxyOx said: You cannot find yourself, only create yourself.
Get to work, son.
This sounds good, but it is the road to hell. The truth is: You can't NOT find yourself. You ARE already and it is that ARENESS that is what you are. All you have to do is notice that you already are yourself and you've reached the finish line--spritually speaking.
Peole who choose to create themselves are opting for an endless journey on a treadmill path. At best they will create an illusion. Anything that can be built, can, and will be, torn down, and utterly so at that.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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MoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: champinhom]
#22476732 - 11/04/15 02:17 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You're not the same you were 2 seconds ago. You're constantly in a state of flux as your cells degenerate and recreate. Shed what you don't need, pursue what you like.
Or you can be like this guy above me and just stand still like a tree all your life.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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gbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB

Registered: 11/01/15
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: MoxyOx]
#22477179 - 11/04/15 04:08 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."
- I Don't Remember
Even though I love and believe that quote, it's still extremely hard to follow. We all want to be better at something, but most of us don't want to put in the work. We need someone or something to drive us, you know? For some it's loved ones, others it's a hobby.
Without that drive we're pretty much just Sims going through life without player interference. We'd stay on the computer/watch tv all day, shit, eat, sleep, and repeat. Repeat till a satellite falls from the sky and lands on our heads.
--------------------
"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!" "It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman." "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
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GoldenEye
...



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: gbeau9080]
#22477265 - 11/04/15 04:30 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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MoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: gbeau9080]
#22480512 - 11/05/15 10:29 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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The drive comes from within. When you really want to do something, you will. Not for an hour everyday, but slowly and surely if you commit a few moments in your week you will improve in that aspect. Such is the way with all things.
You won't become the best pianist, mycologist, singer, writer, fighter, or whatever you choose to appeal your time with; it's the process and the act of learning that holds beauty.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: MoxyOx]
#22480598 - 11/05/15 10:51 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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i dont know whats wrong with me i just have no drive.
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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eehoo
Stranger


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Grow a pair of balls and go crazy
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gbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB


Registered: 11/01/15
Posts: 204
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: eehoo]
#22480883 - 11/05/15 12:03 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
eehoo said: Grow a pair of balls and go crazy
Haha pretty much what I wanted to say. Fuck everyone else and do what makes you happy.
--------------------
"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!" "It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman." "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
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eehoo
Stranger


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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: gbeau9080]
#22480987 - 11/05/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah have you considered not jerking off any more?
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: eehoo]
#22481211 - 11/05/15 01:39 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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There are doors to whole other vistas of perception. It makes hanging around this place and going through the motions of living actually worth it... fortunate for us.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Hinny
The Missing Genre Link.


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 662
Loc:
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: circastes]
#22481291 - 11/05/15 02:01 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You just have to ride it out until you mature enough to not let it present itself as a problem any longer. We are always changing, growing, hiding and playing games with ourselves.
Start picking things out you have a small interest in, do little bits of research here and there - go at your own pace in everything and remember everybody who is alive and has ever been alive has the same predicament. It's just how you chose to go about it.
Some people switch off, some people work hard, some people have children, some people pursue hobbies, some peeople educate, some people invent - list is endless.
I'm 30. Was a smart kid, failed at school due to mass insecurities about life. Kept my head down and earned money whilst failing college three times - I couldn't relax, fit in or communicate properly with people. This year I've decided I'm going to stop working and go back to college and learn. The only way I can do this is after a few years of making an effort to be nice to strangers - smile, chit chat. It helps your confidence and you are the only obstacle to yourself gaining nothing from that so, yes, you will be wasting your life.
Mate, just be a good person and be proud of yourself - anything else is a bonus
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eehoo
Stranger


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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: circastes]
#22481733 - 11/05/15 04:14 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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just ride it out deal with it... the government and big corporations must love you sheep. be sure to go check out the next big film. fuck that shit... go out in a flame rock star style and just say fuck the world because thats whats up. fuck society . its immoral what they make kids do
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Edited by eehoo (11/05/15 04:17 PM)
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: eehoo]
#22482039 - 11/05/15 05:15 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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and what makes you not another sheep? no job?
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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IISkuNkII



Registered: 04/01/13
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I know how you feel rebelutions because for the past year and a half i haven't known myself anymore. My feelins/emotions are usually very dull/almost non existent. Sometimes they are even dramatic. I've been struggling waking up every day as it is. I hate myself and who i am. Basically everything about myself i hate. I've found exercise to help me keep my mind occupied. Have you tried exercising, jogging, running doqn the street?
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: IISkuNkII]
#22482134 - 11/05/15 05:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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i use to LOVE working out and running and all that because it kept me away from my depressive behaviors and bad habbits but now i have extremely bad shoulder problems from dislocating it a few times a couple months ago. i cant even do the one thing i loved that was actually good for me its brought me right back to where i use to be
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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IISkuNkII



Registered: 04/01/13
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Sorry to hear that man, hopefully your shoulder gets better here. I may not be the best conversator but i'll always listen if you ever need to talk.
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Tomandjerry58
Stranger

Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 5,212
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Im 34 and still really don't know who I am yet but I have started setting clear goals for things that im interested in.
Things that are realistically attainable and are also career paths which could be fun in the process.
This for me is one of life's great challenges. Because although you may love something deeply, the activity may just be hobby worthy or completely recreational.
Clear goals can occupy restless time...and although I agree with the above poster about being yourself. Being yourself is not setting an obtainable goals.
The starting point is a clear mind and body. Prep yourself and be the best person mind and body you can be, before you set career of life goals.
Setting goals with fitness, love and health should be the priority above anything else. Because these things are going to keep u alive, functioning and happy.
A question ive asked myself for around 5 years now..."what do I want to do?" The answer to this may often change with the times but make sure to keep asking!
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Tomandjerry58]
#22482526 - 11/05/15 07:00 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't hate yourself for God's sake... that's gotta be step one for anyone hating themselves.
It's completely useless to be that hard on yourself.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
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I literally relate to everything you have said. Have you ever had a drug addiction? Just curious, hope you don't mind me asking you this, or if you want to reply via pm that is fine.
Also have you tried some slow running or even walking to at least get some natural feel good chems flowing through your brain? I see you said you have shoulder pains, does it hurt when you try to run?
-------------------- ©️
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eehoo
Stranger


Registered: 09/26/15
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Lucis]
#22483676 - 11/05/15 10:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's pathetic how helpless the youth can be to these idiots. Too many people are willing to PM you and give shitty advice
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Edited by eehoo (11/05/15 10:40 PM)
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Lucis]
#22484056 - 11/06/15 12:11 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
IISkuNkII said: Sorry to hear that man, hopefully your shoulder gets better here. I may not be the best conversator but i'll always listen if you ever need to talk.
Thanks man I appreciate thatQuote:
Fennario said: I literally relate to everything you have said. Have you ever had a drug addiction? Just curious, hope you don't mind me asking you this, or if you want to reply via pm that is fine.
Also have you tried some slow running or even walking to at least get some natural feel good chems flowing through your brain? I see you said you have shoulder pains, does it hurt when you try to run?
I've never really had a serious drug addiction but I do sort of have a drinking problem, I still use psychs but that's about it. When I could work out I didnt really feel the need to drink but now I can't run and can barely lift a bag of groceries because of the pain I get. I'm even trying not to take my doctor ordered pain meds because I know what road that's going to take me down.
Think I'm going to make a list of pros and cons for a few different things tomorrow. I need to start making some goals before it's too late
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: IISkuNkII]
#22484084 - 11/06/15 12:18 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
IISkuNkII said:
I hate myself and who i am. Basically everything about myself i hate.
I read many books and these two are awesome. Self hatred is a big thing. Depression, rage, and addiction are giant issues for humanity, and many people don't even recognize their self-loathing.
Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair (Theodore I. Rubin)
There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate (Cheri Huber)
A few other thoughts . . .
Thinking you're not as good as others is like thinking you are better than others. It's pure ego. Ego often causes suffering.
The thing that messes us up most in life is thinking life should be different than it is.
Trying to "be yourself" is a form of suffering. Watch dogs, cats, ants, birds, and trees. They don't do anything but live.
Don't ever evaluate your worth on your accomplishments. That's a huge mistake.
When life is difficult, nothing is wrong. Never believe life should not be difficult. That's a delusion.
We have 30,000 - 60,000 thoughts a day, and up to 80% are negative. Anxiety and negative thinking are highly adaptive traits that helped our species survive. Watch hamsters. They don't have "ADHD".
The only thing that is wrong with us is that we think something is wrong with us.
Ask a goat what they want to do with their life. It's a meaningless question to non-human creatures,
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said:
I need to start making some goals before it's too late
I highly caution against setting goals.
I'd recommend trying to resist the urge to make goals.
Just live each day, with no goals, except for living . . .
Life had nothing to do with getting things done, becoming something, or accomplishing anything.
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Chakanooga
Always Lmao



Registered: 04/24/15
Posts: 2,710
Loc: Wonderland
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22484391 - 11/06/15 04:04 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Heed my words, Wanderers of Life.
Its never too late, I see some of you are in your 20s-30's or maybe even 40's not knowing what to do anymore, well if you think really deep about it, you can still do a lot in the span of a year, let alone 5 or 10.
Start now by investing into something, almost anything, preferably something you have any ideal interest in. If you have none, you will eventually find something. Still nothing? then start on what you feel is blooming in the economy right now.
Save money, invest, buy a car, think really hard and deep what you could create with your money, to make more money in the future, because it takes money to make money.
You should be at a point where you save enough money to almost want to try and start a small business, if not, save up and go to school to get a degree for what will help you and your plans.
Now, im not some big business man that is rich and successful, but im 21 and im doing a lot better then some of my family members, so if you do drugs, cut that shit out too, its just too expensive.
Godspeed.
-------------------- Official: Facemelter HyperspaceTraveller NostalgicGamer
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eehoo
Stranger


Registered: 09/26/15
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Chakanooga]
#22486476 - 11/06/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You will get advice from every possible angle. If you don't have the heart to do anything for yourself and think for yourself then I can see why things can be so confusing. Fuck what all these people say including me because nobody really knows anything all you can do is act from within and if it's in line with success then it comes. If it's not then you fail and you can't be afraid of that so stop being a baby and all you self help book writers eat my butt hole and stroke my shaft
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Tomandjerry58
Stranger

Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 5,212
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: eehoo]
#22487544 - 11/06/15 06:10 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Love the last two post ....rj tubs is obviously high as fuck lol No goals...just live man ...just live
I get high as a horses ass and still have goals. Execution is really where its at with goals tho, ideas are just ideas unless you act on them.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Tomandjerry58] 1
#22488120 - 11/06/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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"Be yourself" is a big one. So cliche but so true. You cannot both be happy and not who you really are.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Tomandjerry58]
#22488187 - 11/06/15 08:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
preschooler said:
rj tubs is obviously high as fuck
( not ) I'm playing the devils advocate that our worship of setting goals might be unwise and cause suffering.
One of the problems that comes with setting goals is when you reach a goal you feel good about yourself and when you fail, you feel like a loser. This causes misery by making life a huge roller-coaster.
Lao Tzu said . . . "A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving."
Some claim setting goals can be very limiting. If you're interested, the author of this article argues that, "Goals as a system are set up for failure."
http://zenhabits.net/no-goal/
This is as radical an idea as you will ever hear, as it goes against everything we've been taught. No other creatures on Earth set "goals", other than to just live! Think about that fact for a moment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, said it beautifully . . . “With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.”
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss] 1
#22489539 - 11/07/15 08:14 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of right?
I think if you can find a way to shift this perspective, you will find a lot more peace and happiness.
If you can stop beating yourself up and actually find forgiveness for yourself, I promise you the fog will clear. There's no set timeline for accomplishing x, y, or z in life. If anyone tells you there is, they're wrong and a complete asshole.
We have a student at the studio where I teach yoga who is 96 and didn't start her practice until she was 94! How amazing is that? It's literally NEVER too late in life to start something new and shift perspective.
About 4-5 years ago, I was in much the same position as you, and this video by Alan Watts helped me A LOT. Maybe it will help you too.
Regarding working out. I had a friend who shattered his knee a few years ago and could barley walk for over a year. He found ways to work out anyway, and so can you. It might not be exactly the way you did it before, but you can find SOMETHING that you can do, even with your physical limitations.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 9 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: yogabunny]
#22495024 - 11/08/15 10:16 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
. . . this video by Alan Watts helped me A LOT. Maybe it will help you too.
Alan Watts books, "The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are" and "The Wisdom of Insecurity" transformed my perspective.
Watts once said, “Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”
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TrippieHunter
Swagger of a cripple


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Damn bro I feel your pain. I'm in my mid thirties now and have felt this way since I was a kid. I was actually talking to one of my childhood bf's about
this, and he is in the same place. He told me something that actually kind of helped though, "he said do ya remember what coach would say, just fake it till you make it."
And as simple and stupid as that is, it's true.
Thing here is, I have a career, kids, sucky wife and a house. I don't have shit to feel bad about. But I can't stand it. It's all fake, none of it matters. If
I had the balls in my early 20's I would have just become a fuckin drifter. Work job to job, country to country. But NOPE I did as I was told, the
American way. I don't know bro, I don't think anyone has the answers. Just do you, what you want, what makes YOU happy.
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
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TrippieHunter
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22495152 - 11/08/15 10:56 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Oh and I second Alan Watts. He's fucking awesome. Died of his own addictions I believe, but he died happy. I remember his wife talking about shortly b4 he died,
he was playing with a balloon like a kid, happy as can be.
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
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RJ Tubs 202



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: TrippieHunter]
#22495190 - 11/08/15 11:06 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Everyone is on their own journey, and different things work for different people.
Regarding "Fake it till you make it"
I tried that for a couple of decades but it didn't work for me.
I'm 50 and within the last two years I've finally been able to stop faking being happy and trying to be who I think I "should" be and what I think others want me to be. It's hard work to be authentic.
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TrippieHunter
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22495210 - 11/08/15 11:10 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I agree that fake it till you make it, is only a temp thing. Get from point A to point B, but when nothing else is working this helps.
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
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Rebelutionsssss
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22495227 - 11/08/15 11:15 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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thanks for understanding guys i guess i should get these ideals of what a life should be like out of my head. im 23 and its just kind of hard watching everyone around me graduating with degrees and getting important jobs while im sitting here still trying to figure out who the fuck i even am. but even after all that work and effort i see it still doesn't make most people happy. i guess life is just a bunch of trial and errors so ill continue on my crash course 
i love each and every one of you guys, i hope we all can find our place in life
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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TrippieHunter
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Bro I tried school for years. I love learning but hate the program. Find a trade to get into. Your in the Bay you can do it. 90% of any job is showing up.
Electricians is a great semi easy career and they pay for you to get certified. Oh yeah and in about 4-5 years you'll be making more than most of your "successful" friends.
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
Edited by TrippieHunter (11/08/15 11:53 AM)
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gbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB


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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22495517 - 11/08/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
preschooler said:
rj tubs is obviously high as fuck
( not ) I'm playing the devils advocate that our worship of setting goals might be unwise and cause suffering.
One of the problems that comes with setting goals is when you reach a goal you feel good about yourself and when you fail, you feel like a loser. This causes misery by making life a huge roller-coaster.
Lao Tzu said . . . "A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving."
Some claim setting goals can be very limiting. If you're interested, the author of this article argues that, "Goals as a system are set up for failure."
http://zenhabits.net/no-goal/
This is as radical an idea as you will ever hear, as it goes against everything we've been taught. No other creatures on Earth set "goals", other than to just live! Think about that fact for a moment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, said it beautifully . . . “With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.”

lol I was going to argue otherwise, but I ended up agreeing halfway on my 6 page counter-thesis. Focusing more on the progression instead of the actual goal would be a lot more rewarding since it takes away the possibility of failure...to an extent
--------------------
"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!" "It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman." "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
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MoxyOx
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: gbeau9080]
#22495779 - 11/08/15 01:46 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Too many of us are hard on ourselves for failures, but failure is how you learn the definition of success.
"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried."
The best things in life are not easy, they take patience and perseverance above all else.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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Lucis
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22498141 - 11/08/15 09:39 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said:
I need to start making some goals before it's too late
I highly caution against setting goals.
I'd recommend trying to resist the urge to make goals.
Just live each day, with no goals, except for living . . .
Life had nothing to do with getting things done, becoming something, or accomplishing anything.
I always fail hard when I set goals because I beat myself up badly if I don't achieve them in the amount of time I plan out for myself, so I feel like it's best for me just to have an idea of what I would like to do and slowly doing it.
I do well slowly working my way towards what I want, rather than trying to get success to quickly, feel like I make mistakes when I try to attain success to quickly.
-------------------- ©️
Edited by Lucis (11/08/15 09:43 PM)
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RJ Tubs 202



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: gbeau9080]
#22501785 - 11/09/15 06:13 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
gbeau9080 said:
Focusing more on the progression instead of the actual goal would be a lot more rewarding since it takes away the possibility of failure...to an extent
Good point.
And some say if we abide by our values, there is no such thing as failure.
Quote:
Fennario said:
I always fail hard when I set goals because I beat myself up badly if I don't achieve them in the amount of time I plan out for myself, so I feel like it's best for me just to have an idea of what I would like to do and slowly doing it.
I hear you. It's wise to establish values and create strategies for how we want to live, based on those values . . .
Defining ourselves by our successes is unwise, as the rich will attest to.
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Bayneling
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22509118 - 11/11/15 12:19 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Well buddy I am in the same position that you are in. Let me share my experience.
When one is lonely, as I have been and sure you are too, you are much more vulnerable to addiction. In fact, feeling isolated or disconnected is the main cause for addiction, IMO. Anyway, few years ago I just started working out, eating healthy and what not, I pushed and pushed in life. But see I had addictions to bullshit. Like internet, porn, social agendas (like always trying to be funny or.. something like that). So I started going for long walks in nature, as much as I can, all by myself. I felt connected to nature, but not only that, doing this robs your brain of it's usual options, like making excuses or triggering bad habbits, I felt a sense of empowerment after walking an hour or two, telling my brain to shut it and dragging it along. After a few minutes of waling, it actually shuts up - then I would look at the hills, sky... and man, you just take everything in, beautiful.
I've even done some volunteer work, anything to get out of the house. Btw volunteer work you can even put on your CV/Job Apps, you gotta start somewhere, just keep it to yourself, sincerely. I started having this connection with something bigger than myself. I've become more authentic, I actually enjoy forgetting about myself when I converse with people. Also I did a little bit of shrooms the last 2 years, it helped a lot with teaching myself that my "problems" are not unsolvable. Being stuck in a wheelchair is a problem
But it wasn't enough, I was still addicted to porn, it's bad man, any addiction fucks you up royally, so I kicked the habit, eventually. Cause I couldn't even sit in my room anymore, this depro feeling would creep over me, I was fed up. That's how I got better and better.
Yeah that's about it. So the no 1 point. Stop being addicted to bullshit and bond with something worthwhile. Hey, you might as well
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RJ Tubs 202



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Bayneling]
#22510706 - 11/11/15 06:27 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You're right about "problems".
We're the only creature on the planet that has "problems". Even as a zebra is ripped to shreds by a lion, it does not think it has a "problem". It feels pain, but the only animal that thinks pain is a problem is us. What we call "problems" are us rejecting reality and wanting life to be different than it is. This is the road to hell . . . to believe life should be different than it is. It's why we've invented heaven.
An interesting aspect of addiction is that desire is not necessarily related to pleasure.
As I look back on decades of drug and porn addiction, I notice that often I acted out in order to get rid of the desire ("jones")
Those of us who have eaten a half gallon of ice cream at 2:00 AM can relate. Nobody "enjoys" eating a half gallon of ice cream.
Some researchers say that addiction is similar to falling in love. When we obsess night and day about the object of our desire.
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TrippieHunter
Swagger of a cripple


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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22514920 - 11/12/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Bullshit I love eating a half gallon, even better is the whole thing. But other than that you make some awesome points friend!
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
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RJ Tubs 202



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: TrippieHunter]
#22515101 - 11/12/15 05:58 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
TrippieHunter said:
Bullshit I love eating a half gallon, even better is the whole thing.
OK, I'll give you that! 
I find, just like the first hit of crack is the best, the last 10 spoonfuls of ice cream just don't stand up to the first 10 spoonfuls.
We sometimes desire to do things that don't bring us pleasure. We sometimes desire activities that bring us pain, and realizing that is helpful to defeating addictions and obsessions.
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Sade
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: I don't have any identity for myself. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and feel like I lack the skills to go back to school and find something. I was pretty much moved through highschool without learning enough to function properly in this society. I feel like I'm just aimlessly floating through life without any sense of self I lack a good amount of social skills and have had this uptight nervousness these past few years that has stopped me from relaxing and enjoying myself.
It just feels like I'm in a job interview 24/7, like even around my friends I can't even sit in a relaxed fashion because I have this weight on me. Party's, festivals, even at home theres a lot of times I can't relax. I feel like my life is hopeless. Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of right? I have no real skills and no one here for me except for maybe one person and I don't know where to go from here 
Well your grammar and punctuation is way better than mine. So you have that going for you.
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: thanks for understanding guys i guess i should get these ideals of what a life should be like out of my head. im 23 and its just kind of hard watching everyone around me graduating with degrees and getting important jobs while im sitting here still trying to figure out who the fuck i even am. but even after all that work and effort i see it still doesn't make most people happy. i guess life is just a bunch of trial and errors so ill continue on my crash course 
i love each and every one of you guys, i hope we all can find our place in life
you're holding the quality of your life to the standards of other peoples ideas of success and happiness.
the video bunny posted is perfect.
what makes you happy dude? you're doing exactly what you need to be doing right now. you're exactly where you need to be. a degree and a corporate job won't make you happy man. I'm not saying that those are bad things at all, but chasing things outside of yourself can never make you happy.
it comes from within man, and it starts with loving yourself
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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RJ Tubs 202



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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said:
Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of right?
Trying to become someone you are "proud" of is a trap.
Our purpose in life is to love. Not to be anyone or do anything in particular. Yeah, that goes against a lot we've all been taught!!
Our conditioning begins in early childhood. Johnny does well on a first grade test, and his parents are so very proud of him. He learns over the years that when he performs well, he is praised, and when he does poorly, his parents are disappointed. When he does very poorly, he is sometimes punished. Johnny grows up to be a man that defines himself by his "accomplishments".
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DaveyJones6911
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if humans have a purpose in the universe, do they need to be aware of it? does any animal have any idea of how it fits into its ecosystem? i chose to presume that humans, if they have a purpose at all, are fulfilling that purpose regardless of being utterly ignorant of it. i in fact think we have no more a choice in the matter then a bea has a choice in pollinating flowers. a bea is not aware of the sex life of plants, nor does it give a shit. it just does what it does.
and so we just do what we do. maybe we are here to gestate a new form of life and technology is the foetus. maybe we are here to experience limits and challenges that are impossible to know for the omnipotent mega consciousness we are all fragments of.
i think if humanity has a purpose, the odds of us being aware of what that is are probably very small.
-------------------- Creativity is a dangerous thing in the eyes of those who don't have any.
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Psilly Billy
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: DaveyJones6911]
#22607365 - 12/03/15 03:53 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ask a mutual friend to formally introduce you.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Psilly Billy]
#22607366 - 12/03/15 03:55 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's been a month since I made this and I feel more lost than ever
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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DaveyJones6911
Nonconformist


Registered: 09/08/15
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who do you want to be?
-------------------- Creativity is a dangerous thing in the eyes of those who don't have any.
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Cujllickduo



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what are your feelings like man do you know them, could you describe yourself clearly
we all wanto do stuff its human nature
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GoldenEye
...



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Cujllickduo]
#22607593 - 12/03/15 06:57 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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We don't all want to do stuff. Depressed people don't want to do anything.
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Cujllickduo



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: GoldenEye]
#22607628 - 12/03/15 07:16 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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i have been in a very dark place before i wanted to get out there and do something...
theirs many things you think about :/
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RJ Tubs 202



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Cujllickduo]
#22614766 - 12/04/15 08:45 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
JustAnotherFreak said:
theirs many things you think about :/
And many of them are the source of our misery.
It helps to do a little exercise, like this. Answer the question.
When I feel lost and depressed, the thoughts that run thru my mind are . . .
1)
2)
3)
Exposing these thoughts helps to neutralize the disturbing feelings they create.
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sadspacemonkey
!universe!



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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22630781 - 12/08/15 05:16 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm not exactly a role model here, but I feel for you... Having a sense of purpose and appreciation can help, but I agree that one's self worth shouldn't depend on society's standards. What helps one person may not help another. Mutual support and understanding here is impressive, but at the end of it, you decide for yourself. I'm constantly changing my creative outlet, even if I completely suck at what I am doing, it helps me focus on what I hope will last forever. I'm struggling with that now. Think of getting out of the state like swimming against the tide... I wish you luck in finding something to get really excited about, hopefully with the tight comraderie.
--------------------
"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana
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pineninja
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: sadspacemonkey]
#22630824 - 12/08/15 05:32 PM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wallowing In self pity is a sure way to hinder progress! Go and tell the person with terminal cancer or the paraplegic about your problems and you may just get a bit of perspective! You can help others thats a skill.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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