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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Registered: 07/23/14
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: eehoo]
    #22482039 - 11/05/15 05:15 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

and what makes you not another sheep? no job?


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To define is to confine.


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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22482112 - 11/05/15 05:35 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I know how you feel rebelutions because for the past year and a half i haven't known myself anymore. My feelins/emotions are usually very dull/almost non existent. Sometimes they are even dramatic. I've been struggling waking up every day as it is. I hate myself and who i am. Basically everything about myself i hate. I've found exercise to help me keep my mind occupied. Have you tried exercising, jogging, running doqn the street?


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: IISkuNkII]
    #22482134 - 11/05/15 05:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

i use to LOVE working out and running and all that because it kept me away from my depressive behaviors and bad habbits but now i have extremely bad shoulder problems from dislocating it a few times a couple months ago. i cant even do the one thing i loved that was actually good for me :sad: its brought me right back to where i use to be


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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22482219 - 11/05/15 06:01 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Sorry to hear that man, hopefully your shoulder gets better here.
I may not be the best conversator but i'll always listen if you ever need to talk.


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InvisibleTomandjerry58
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Registered: 01/27/03
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22482310 - 11/05/15 06:19 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Im 34 and still really don't know who I am yet but I have started setting clear goals for things that im interested in.

Things that are realistically attainable and are also career paths which could be fun in the process.

This for me is one of life's great challenges. Because although you may love something deeply, the activity may just be hobby worthy or completely recreational.

Clear goals can occupy restless time...and although I agree with the above poster about being yourself. Being yourself is not setting an obtainable goals.

The starting point is a clear mind and body. Prep yourself and be the best person mind and body you can be, before you set career of life goals.

Setting goals with fitness, love and health should be the priority above anything else. Because these things are going to keep u alive, functioning and happy.

A question ive asked myself for around 5 years now..."what do I want to do?" The answer to this may often change with the times but make sure to keep asking!


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Tomandjerry58]
    #22482526 - 11/05/15 07:00 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Don't hate yourself for God's sake... that's gotta be step one for anyone hating themselves.

It's completely useless to be that hard on yourself.


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My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22483160 - 11/05/15 09:07 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I literally relate to everything you have said.  Have you ever had a drug addiction?  Just curious, hope you don't mind me asking you this, or if you want to reply via pm that is fine.

Also have you tried some slow running or even walking to at least get some natural feel good chems flowing through your brain?  I see you said you have shoulder pains, does it hurt when you try to run?


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Offlineeehoo
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Lucis]
    #22483676 - 11/05/15 10:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

It's pathetic how helpless the youth can be to these idiots. Too many people are willing to PM you and give shitty advice


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Edited by eehoo (11/05/15 10:40 PM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Lucis]
    #22484056 - 11/06/15 12:11 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

IISkuNkII said:
Sorry to hear that man, hopefully your shoulder gets better here.
I may not be the best conversator but i'll always listen if you ever need to talk.



Thanks man I appreciate that
Quote:

Fennario said:
I literally relate to everything you have said.  Have you ever had a drug addiction?  Just curious, hope you don't mind me asking you this, or if you want to reply via pm that is fine.

Also have you tried some slow running or even walking to at least get some natural feel good chems flowing through your brain?  I see you said you have shoulder pains, does it hurt when you try to run?



I've never really had a serious drug addiction but I do sort of have a drinking problem, I still use psychs but that's about it. When I could work out I didnt really feel the need to drink but now I can't run and can barely lift a bag of groceries because of the pain I get. I'm even trying not to take my doctor ordered pain meds because I know what road that's going to take me down.

Think I'm going to make a list of pros and cons for a few different things tomorrow. I need to start making some goals before it's too late


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To define is to confine.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: IISkuNkII]
    #22484084 - 11/06/15 12:18 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

IISkuNkII said:

I hate myself and who i am. Basically everything about myself i hate.





I read many books and these two are awesome. Self hatred is a big thing. Depression, rage, and addiction are giant issues for humanity, and many people don't even recognize their self-loathing.

        Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair (Theodore I. Rubin)

        There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate (Cheri Huber)

A few other thoughts . . .

Thinking you're not as good as others is like thinking you are better than others. It's pure ego. Ego often causes suffering.

The thing that messes us up most in life is thinking life should be different than it is.

Trying to "be yourself" is a form of suffering. Watch dogs, cats, ants, birds, and trees. They don't do anything but live.

Don't ever evaluate your worth on your accomplishments. That's a huge mistake.

When life is difficult, nothing is wrong. Never believe life should not be difficult. That's a delusion.

We have 30,000 - 60,000 thoughts a day, and up to 80% are negative. Anxiety and negative thinking are highly adaptive traits that helped our species survive. Watch hamsters. They don't have "ADHD".

The only thing that is wrong with us is that we think something is wrong with us.

Ask a goat what they want to do with their life. It's a meaningless question to non-human creatures,


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22484098 - 11/06/15 12:25 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:

I need to start making some goals before it's too late





I highly caution against setting goals.     

I'd recommend trying to resist the urge to make goals.

Just live each day, with no goals, except for living . . .

Life had nothing to do with getting things done, becoming something, or accomplishing anything.


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InvisibleChakanooga
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #22484391 - 11/06/15 04:04 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Heed my words, Wanderers of Life.

Its never too late, I see some of you are in your 20s-30's or maybe even 40's not knowing what to do anymore, well if you think really deep about it, you can still do a lot in the span of a year, let alone 5 or 10.

Start now by investing into something, almost anything, preferably something you have any ideal interest in. If you have none, you will eventually find something. Still nothing? then start on what you feel is blooming in the economy right now.

Save money, invest, buy a car, think really hard and deep what you could create with your money, to make more money in the future, because it takes money to make money.

You should be at a point where you save enough money to almost want to try and start a small business, if not, save up and go to school to get a degree for what will help you and your plans.

Now, im not some big business man that is rich and successful, but im 21 and im doing a lot better then some of my family members, so if you do drugs, cut that shit out too, its just too expensive.

Godspeed.


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Offlineeehoo
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Chakanooga]
    #22486476 - 11/06/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

You will get advice from every possible angle. If you don't have the heart to do anything for yourself and think for yourself then I can see why things can be so confusing. Fuck what all these people say including me because nobody really knows anything all you can do is act from within and if it's in line with success then it comes. If it's not then you fail and you can't be afraid of that so stop being a baby and all you self help book writers eat my butt hole and stroke my shaft


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InvisibleTomandjerry58
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Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 5,212
Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: eehoo]
    #22487544 - 11/06/15 06:10 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Love the last two post:sunny::thumbup:....rj tubs is obviously high as fuck lol No goals...just live man ...just live:jah:

I get high as a horses ass and still have goals. Execution is really where its at with goals tho, ideas are just ideas unless you act on them.


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Tomandjerry58] * 1
    #22488120 - 11/06/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

"Be yourself" is a big one. So cliche but so true. You cannot both be happy and not who you really are.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Tomandjerry58]
    #22488187 - 11/06/15 08:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

preschooler said:

rj tubs is obviously high as fuck





( not )  I'm playing the devils advocate that our worship of setting goals might be unwise and cause suffering.

One of the problems that comes with setting goals is when you reach a goal you feel good about yourself and when you fail, you feel like a loser. This causes misery by making life a huge roller-coaster. 

Lao Tzu said . . . "A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving."

Some claim setting goals can be very limiting. If you're interested, the author of this article argues that, "Goals as a system are set up for failure."

http://zenhabits.net/no-goal/

This is as radical an idea as you will ever hear, as it goes against everything we've been taught. No other creatures on Earth set "goals", other than to just live! Think about that fact for a moment. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson, said it beautifully . . . “With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss] * 1
    #22489539 - 11/07/15 08:14 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
Our whole purpose here is to find our place in life and put all our effort into making ourselves into something we can be proud of right?





I think if you can find a way to shift this perspective, you will find a lot more peace and happiness.

If you can stop beating yourself up and actually find forgiveness for yourself, I promise you the fog will clear. There's no set timeline for accomplishing x, y, or z in life. If anyone tells you there is, they're wrong and a complete asshole.

We have a student at the studio where I teach yoga who is 96 and didn't start her practice until she was 94! How amazing is that? It's literally NEVER too late in life to start something new and shift perspective.

About 4-5 years ago, I was in much the same position as you, and this video by Alan Watts helped me A LOT. Maybe it will help you too.



Regarding working out. I had a friend who shattered his knee a few years ago and could barley walk for over a year. He found ways to work out anyway, and so can you. It might not be exactly the way you did it before, but you can find SOMETHING that you can do, even with your physical limitations.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: yogabunny]
    #22495024 - 11/08/15 10:16 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:

. . . this video by Alan Watts helped me A LOT. Maybe it will help you too.







Alan Watts books, "The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are" and "The Wisdom of Insecurity" transformed my perspective.

Watts once said, “Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”


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OfflineTrippieHunter
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22495140 - 11/08/15 10:55 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Damn bro I feel your pain. I'm in my mid thirties now and have felt this way since I was a kid. I was actually talking to one of my childhood bf's about

this, and he is in the same place. He told me something that actually kind of helped though, "he said do ya remember what coach would say, just fake it till you make it."

And as simple and stupid as that is, it's true.

Thing here is, I have a career, kids, sucky wife and a house. I don't have shit to feel bad about. But I can't stand it. It's all fake, none of it matters. If

I had the balls in my early 20's I would have just become a fuckin drifter. Work job to job, country to country. But NOPE I did as I was told, the

American way. I don't know bro, I don't think anyone has the answers. Just do you, what you want, what makes YOU happy.


--------------------
Just remember keep the camera rolling and
FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME

WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO!

Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!


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OfflineTrippieHunter
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Re: How do I deal with not knowing who I am [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #22495152 - 11/08/15 10:56 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Oh and I second Alan Watts. He's fucking awesome. Died of his own addictions I believe, but he died happy. I remember his wife talking about shortly b4 he died,

he was playing with a balloon like a kid, happy as can be.


--------------------
Just remember keep the camera rolling and
FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME

WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO!

Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!


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