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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22500604 - 11/09/15 02:02 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
How are ya doing over there buddy?

I'm a bit better today, haven't had any restless legs or debilitating waves of anxiety yet. Just yawny with a leaky face.

Looks like I got off easy. Hopefully I can get out and find some work this week.




Yeah I dunno.  I got everything except the chills are weak, the RLS is just RLS and not a whole body thrashing thing, and I'm not really in any pain or anxiety yet.  No electric shock down my spine that makes me do a titty shake yet, just a little tense.  I am starting to sweat but it's not so bad. 

I did chew up 2 cottons and lick all my paper folds and corner baggies earlier today.  Usually that doesn't do anything but I think it might have held things off for a bit, there was like 10 corner baggies but really just the tiny amount that sticks to the side, no actual powder.  I felt like shit all day but didn't seem to get much worse like I should going into the second day.

I also got 30mg or so of done just sitting around, and two subs but I am terrified to take any subs at this point.  I don't know if I should just get rid of all that, save it in case things get worse, or give it to someone that might need it.  Honestly if I can't get high I don't really see the point in just pushing things back a couple days.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22500621 - 11/09/15 02:10 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I didn't read any of this thread. I find no value in learning of the trials and victories in the addictions of others. When you've heard one you've heard them all. So to answer your question

Quote:

Where are all the addicts



Aquiring and ingesting their choice of chemical well-being whilst skirting all responsibility and work associated with quitting said endeavor.

Yeah, it's a real complicated subject.

*just read the post, it appears you were just summoning opiate addicts and ex addicts for general banter. It worked, we're here! Now what would you like to talk about? I wonder.... :wink:


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


Edited by ModestMouse (11/09/15 02:21 PM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse] * 1
    #22501165 - 11/09/15 04:28 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

You're coming off like kind of a prick in that post, but I will just chalk that up to you coming off deh speed. :smirk:


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InvisibleBigfeely123
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Posts: 2,594
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22501180 - 11/09/15 04:31 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I feel like in the past two weeks or so I've been noticing more and more.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Bigfeely123]
    #22501192 - 11/09/15 04:32 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Bigfeely123 said:
I feel like in the past two weeks or so I've been noticing more and more.



your a stallion homie


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleBigfeely123
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Sheekle]
    #22501206 - 11/09/15 04:35 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Thank you so much! :wink:

You're a rascally little snake. SSSSSssssss... slither your way back home little snake.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22501210 - 11/09/15 04:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I broke pretty easily a few years back with a 'done wafer. I just ate tiny tiny bits of it every time it got to be too much until it was gone.

If you take suboxone for just a few days, it really removes the harsh parts of w/ding cold turkey off dope.

I'm still doing alright, just jaming out, wishing like hell I had some weed. My sister-in-law has some. I've been waiting for her to toke since I got here a few days ago and it hasn't happened yet. I just need to man up and ask her to blow a bowl.

Looked at places to work around here. I don't have a car, and this cities bus system is a joke, so I'm pretty much limited to restaurants and retail work it looks like. Gotta get my phone turned on and start applying soon so I can have something to keep myself busy with and start saving for a car so I can get a real job again someday.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22501211 - 11/09/15 04:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Youre right. I'm patiently waiting to return to regular old mouse but cannot currently escape the dopamine-deprived voice of pessimism and cold, logic-driven thought that is post-meth mouse.

It's absolute hell, which is why I swore off doing it again so abruptly and have no fear of holding my word.

I'd love to spare you all the mess of dealing with this personality occupying my head, but it's got an abhorently loud voice and typing funnels it out in the best way. If I had time today I would instead excersize this shitty affliction out with physical activity. I should be much better after I get out of work, play some racquetball, and shower.

The fact that I'm even able to predict this yet still feel so shitty is awful, whoever said "meth is fear" in that thread I made was dead on. People fall into addiction because this feels inescapable without meth, when in reality meth started the cycle.


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


Edited by ModestMouse (11/09/15 04:44 PM)


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #22501217 - 11/09/15 04:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

ModestMouse said:
Youre right. I'm patiently waiting to return to regular old mouse but cannot currently escape the dopamine-deprived voice of pessimism and cold, logic-driven thought that is post-meth mouse.

It's absolute hell, which is why I swore off doing it again so abruptly and have no fear of holding my word.



your a stallion homie


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Sheekle]
    #22501264 - 11/09/15 04:44 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

you're a stallion sheekle. too popular to live too stallion to die


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Sheekle]
    #22501286 - 11/09/15 04:47 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Still, I made a cogent point. Blowing the junkie conch will only breed bad behavior. Summoning up a bunch of addicts over the Internet with no physical interaction to illicit emotional response will likely propagate addictions-in-progress. I think it may be important for OP to be mindful of this.

Love ya sheeks, even in this bad mood of mine.


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


Edited by ModestMouse (11/09/15 04:53 PM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #22502802 - 11/09/15 09:51 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I don't think that is what happened here.  Nobody is glorifying addiction, or encouraging anyone to become an addict.  Sometimes it's just nice to know that you're not the only one struggling with this shit.

Good luck with the job hunt Rusti.  That is actually what spurred me to try and get clean.  I found a couple good jobs, and probably could have even passed the drug test by substituting, but I just want to do it right.  I couldn't handle 12hr shifts using dope and if I don't get off subs now it could be never.

Just a couple more days and I'll at least be past the point of no return, even if I'm still feeling sick.  Once I get past like 5 days it gets hard to write off all that suffering and start over again.  I still am expecting things to get worse before they get better, because honestly other than that precipitated withdrawal BS this hasn't been that bad.


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OfflineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22506501 - 11/10/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I'm still on 4mg of dillys a day,during ourr vacation I found 2 I'd stashed and had a night on the nod vomiting m guts out. Excluding that one day I've been doing good


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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InvisibleAdden
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Posts: 39,201
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: sprinkles]
    #22506769 - 11/10/15 07:46 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
Quote:

Dys said:
And honestly I don't know when to first "count" my sobriety; some people go by last drink/dose, some have said sobriety began when cravings went away. Either way I'm not going to split hairs over it.





if you dont know your sober date then you are not sober. 


Maybe you havent done smack, but you've been using.  Everyone who truly goes clean and sober knows exactly what day that was.  Most people can narrow it down to the minute.  I've been through the program(s), and I failed multiple times.  They went as far as kicking me off of probation.  I never did pass and told the judge I was DONE. :readmylipsfuckyou: so they gave me "significant jail time" and I'm fucking glad.  No more inpatient, outpatient, AA, or any of that dumb bullshit.




Thursday the 16th of Oct at 7:47pm was my last pill, on the way for a quick amenities run to Walmart.

Sickness was 36h-48h mark.

So 30 days sober soon I guess.

I ended up not hiding this thread because I care about you guys and will be here when it's bumped in case someone needs a helping hand. Also want to make sure you all stay okay.

Btw.. I'm bipolar 2 near remission.. for those of you without mood disorders: Did you notice moments of random sadness at around the one month mark? Random things like wow, that eagle is beautiful, and start welling up tears?

Or maybe because I'm fighting demons and not realizing how deep in denial I was? During my trip I opened up The Vault of PTSD, and again watching the Pacific tide roll in. Purposefully got myself turned around in the woods so if I got really sad about that traumatic shit no one would see me crying.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
    #22507040 - 11/10/15 08:50 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I am also diagnosed with PTSD and am suspected to have manic depression ultra-light, bi-polar type 2.

I always get super emotional around the 1 month mark, over things like you describe, things being so beautiful, or stirring up things from the past I haven't dealt with yet.

I'm still doing ok. Haven't touched my subs, so I have a few days sober now, save a glass of jim beam the other night. I've been sleeping alright, and aside from a leaky face and small waves of anxiety and restlessness, I'm alright. Seem's like I paid all my dues from methadone in detoxes and with suboxone. I imagine here quick my improvements will level off and it will take a few months to completely go away. I gotta start getting out of this house, need to find some work and start running. When I'm off dope, exercise is the most important thing to my recovery.

We all need to get out of this shit fast. I just found out another friend died last night from an OD on suboxone and xanax. That's 3friends I've lost since April that have ODed on opiates.


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OfflineOceanshore23Forest
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22507065 - 11/10/15 08:57 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

i am addicted to everything i take but i do follow doctors oRdErs


--------------------
Jenny, jehny, sean, taliesen, taylor
I was the Head honcho And...... i still am
Jonas is everready
matthew is a psychiatrist
Marcus is a therapist
Arthur has Appeared .....
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1Gz8gmpPZTDdbWY7sNa3D5PGER3mxvp2
The drugs i use: Day: Clozaril 400mg, Zyprexa, 15mg, Seroquel 20mg, Risperdal 6mg, Invega 9mg The all in One Curved Rounded Pillar, Klonopin 1mg, Truvada The now mushroomm, Tivicay the Daydreams mushroom, Gabapentin 600mg Night: Lithium 300mg, Ativan 3mg, 5Htp, Trazodone 100mg, Hydroxyzine 2 at sleep time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWWopjG9URo&nohtml5=False


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
    #22507126 - 11/10/15 09:12 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I get emotional coming off opiates for sure.  It can be really hard to cope with sometimes, because even though it can be like "that's so beautiful" it can also feel so empty and make me not give a fuck about anything.

That's crazy your friend died taking suboxone and xanax Rustifier, sorry to hear that.  I never really thought anything of doing that, but I guess some people do get high off suboxone.  They do warn you about it, but I also know people who have been prescribed both.

I had to cut out mixing that shit, at least with dope I will wake up on my way down, most of the time at least.  There was some dope a couple weeks ago that had me just coming to in really uncomfortable positions on the ground having dumped water all over myself.  My room became a total mess for a couple days cause I was knocking everything over :facepalm:  I was convinced it was cut with fent, cause it tasted like nothing and wore off really quick.  Mixing benzos I always wake up with a busted face tho.


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OfflineLSDreams
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22507538 - 11/10/15 11:18 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I dropped the very last of my fentanyl in my car cause i was nodding off back in may, and havent got anymore since. It was probably some of the worst w/d ive ever had with such a sudden stop. I felt like shit for awhile with no substitute to make me feel normal. Then i moved again, and started a new routine.. new life. 

Fast-forward to now.. i feel pretty good. Im not gonna say i dont think about opiates at all, cause i do pretty frequently... but it usually passes quickly. Its more of a yearn to feel realllyy good, and no different than the concept of sex. Some days im really convincing that ill enjoy my life more with it, and than others im like fuck that shit I really need psychedelics to wake the fuck up and realize what i really need in life.

Im sorry you got sucked back into it moonrock. IME keeping up with subs is never good. Whether its dope or subs, your receptors will still get used to whatever youre using... and then when youre without it you end up with that same emptiness that you feel when youre low. I know exactly what youre feeling man.. like that emptiness and detachment will be with you forever, but nothing lasts forever and your body will heal and get used to running without any of that. So please dont hang onto subs like theyre your assigned medicine for the rest of your life. And when youre feeling stronger, begin a new life.


--------------------
       
Plants of Interest ~ Lemon Balm, Cannabis, Ayahuasca, Datura, Salvia divinorum, Tabernanthe iboga, Opium poppy, Kratom, Khat, Coca, Ipomoea tricolor, Psilocybin mushrooms, Peyote ~ :peace: 


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Offlinehex_enduction
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: LSDreams]
    #22508252 - 11/11/15 07:52 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Damn I remember you from back when you made that thread. You've really not relapsed since?? That's amazing, weren't you doing fentanyl all day every day for like weeks/months?

Also, there's a user on here with a very similar name who has similar addiction problems with opiates, especially fentanyl.


--------------------


Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs

sunshine said:
Tragic.  I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: LSDreams]
    #22508347 - 11/11/15 08:27 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

LSDreams said:
I dropped the very last of my fentanyl in my car cause i was nodding off back in may, and havent got anymore since. It was probably some of the worst w/d ive ever had with such a sudden stop. I felt like shit for awhile with no substitute to make me feel normal. Then i moved again, and started a new routine.. new life. 

Fast-forward to now.. i feel pretty good. Im not gonna say i dont think about opiates at all, cause i do pretty frequently... but it usually passes quickly. Its more of a yearn to feel realllyy good, and no different than the concept of sex. Some days im really convincing that ill enjoy my life more with it, and than others im like fuck that shit I really need psychedelics to wake the fuck up and realize what i really need in life.

Im sorry you got sucked back into it moonrock. IME keeping up with subs is never good. Whether its dope or subs, your receptors will still get used to whatever youre using... and then when youre without it you end up with that same emptiness that you feel when youre low. I know exactly what youre feeling man.. like that emptiness and detachment will be with you forever, but nothing lasts forever and your body will heal and get used to running without any of that. So please dont hang onto subs like theyre your assigned medicine for the rest of your life. And when youre feeling stronger, begin a new life.




Thanks man, that's good to hear right now.  The back of my head is trying to find a way to sneak out and cop, but I don't want to make all this suffering for nothing just by one shitty decision.

I'm having a hard time getting myself to delete the numbers out of my phone that I should.  Trying to gag down some fruit and make myself take a walk today.


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